Belly

My Battle Scars – Otherwise Known as My Belly (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 14 Comments

I am a 37 year old mother of 3 (ages 15, 9 & 7 yrs old). Lets just say I was done family planning by the time I was 30 yrs old.

I was always a fit person before having children, working out 3x a week and was a former gymnast and track star. But that all changed once I started to have children. My son was born when I was just 22 years old. I gained 55lbs with him, considering I used to be a size 4…that was devastating. But I loved being pregnant, however I retained a lot of water. After he was born it took me over a year to get back down to a size 6. Which I was more than happy about.

Then came my daughter 6 years later, followed by my youngest in which they were only 18 months apart. And again it was hard work to lose the weight and to get to where I am now.

I have over 10lbs to lose but I don’t want to be a size 0…I’m voluptuous …and I don’t mind. I have a personal trainer in which he tells me I have more muscle than fat and not to beat myself up too much. So in the meantime, I am working very hard to get rid of my saggy belly and to firm up, I will not consider surgery, besides I’m not a celebrity no one will really care after all…but I’m doing this for me!

My husband has been very supportive and showers me with compliments all the time, we are very much still in love and have been married for 12 years now. The reason why I am posting this is because my husband thinks I’m beautiful and loves my body despite my stretch marks (which have faded) but he doesn’t mind my saggy belly either, I told him he must be crazy because I hate my body.

When going on vacations I was very self conscience and would only wear a tankini’s or a one piece suit (which I hate!) But our next trip coming up is to Cancun and I got the courage to buy a bikini and show off my marks! I decided that as long as my husband didn’t care, why should I right? After all I’m happily married with wonderful children right? So I went shopping with the hubby and he bought me a Marc Jacobs bikini! I still can’t believe I bought it considering the price…I wanted my body to look decent before I spent that kind of $ on a bikini but my hubby was encouraging and voila…I’m showing you my pic!

I even asked my youngest girls how I looked in it (and since children are very honest) they said “you look good mommy!” and that put a smile on my face! So for those who are depressed about the saggy skin or the stretch marks after having children, I say go for it and buy that bikini! After all, I think to myself every line … every bulge was so worth it!

Thanks for reading my story!

I Feel So Insecure (Rebecca)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 7 Comments

age: 20 pregnancies: 2 births: 2 children: 2 girls aged 4 and 10 weeks PP: 10 weeks
Keywords: second pregnancy, belly, normal delivery, stretch marks,breastfeeding.

“My body has changed so much”. Thats the first thing that crosses my mind when i look at my body in the mirror. Nothing will ever make my body the way it used to be. How could my beautiful children make my body look and feel so unattractive. I can’t help but feel so insecure about my body, no matter how much one reassures me. Pregnancy is such a beautiful thing and i enjoyed mine thoroughly, my children were so worth it, i just cant help but feel awful. But this site has opened up my eyes alot, and i think its a great way of helping women get over their post partum woes. Thankyou to all these women for making me smile. I hope someone can read this and relate and realise their not alone too. :-)

Photos:
Me au natural
Belly before second pregnancy
37 weeks pregnant
My baby Anna
pp 10 weeks side
pp 10 weeks front

15 Months to Find That Love (Amanda)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Submissions, Tattoo, Update 3 Comments

This is an update submission, my original post is here.

I feel as though those words cannot be the last thing I say on the matter of my motherly shape. It took me a year to come around to myself and the image if what I ‘should’ look like, to realize, I look how exactly how I am meant look, nothing less and nothing more.
I had this image in my head of a woman who would bounce back and within a year be fit and skinny, no evidence that she had ever given birth.

But after a year, I have realized, why on Earth would I ever want that?

I would be so devastated now if suddenly my stretch marks disappeared and I didn’t have this softer belly, not because I suddenly decided these things were sexy, but because that’s part of my life story. That’s apart of my daughter’s story and I would never want to take that away from her… or me.

A co-worker of mine recently revealed she was pregnant and we were talking about this website. I decided I would reread my post and what I found broke my heart. I was so sad and so unsatisfied with myself. I can feel the hurt, and all I want to do is jump back in time and say to myself “you won’t always feel this way”.

I have no more sadness when it comes to the shape of my body. I eat right and have recently started working out, not to lose weight, but to build strength and stamina. It’s time to respect my body rather than hate the way it looks for something it did, especially when that something it did is truly incredible.

My body made a life. Doesn’t that deserve respect and love? Instead of self-hatred, I have taken to self-love.

These are my new photos. My daughter is 15 months old now and I love my body. It’s the only one I will ever have, so I plan to treat it right.

You can still see the stretch marks, but they are very faded. The tattoos are still ruined, but tattoos can be fixed. My belly is still squishy and loose, but it’s a great place for my baby girl to rest her head.

I hope any women reading this who are struggling who’ve just had their babies know that time will make things better. Sometimes better isn’t about the physical, but how we perceive it.

Age: 29
Pregnancies/Births: 2/1

More Than a Shape (Melissa)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions 1 Comment

Age – 20
# of Births – 1
P.P – 1 week

I had the greatest love of my life ask me to marry him last year. Of course I said yes and wedding plans were in the air when I found out I was pregnant. Side note – I told him at 3 in the morning jumping in to bed because I had just taken the test because it said to use your morning pee but really had to go and didn’t want to mess anything up. Poor man was shocked. We both were since we were pretty careful. But the pregnancy was not the least bit unwanted. We moved the wedding up to August so that my dress would still fit and we already were about to move in together so timing wise everything was pretty perfect.

My pregnancy was pretty routine other than I didn’t have a midwife until I was 21 weeks and there were no doctors willing to take me as a patient. He was a perfectly healthy little boy and we were both so excited. I didn’t hate being pregnant but I wasn’t overly interested in it either. I liked feeling him move the first few times and watching him grow inside me but I never felt super connected with him which worried me a little. At 34 weeks I just started liking him more and more. I had a false labor at 35 weeks which scared everyone because it didnt seem like a false labor at the time, but after a night in the hosptial everything calmed down. For a while…

Before getting pregnant I was a fairly active person, loved to work out and running was my favorite. I continued with exercise through my pregnancy, slowing down of course and accepted the changes to my body, not right away as I complained about the strecth marks on my breasts and hips. I did get what I feel was fairly big over the pregnancy, starting at 133 pounds and going up to 170 approx when I gave birth. I was pretty upset about the marks on my hips and in the last month of pregnancy they showed up all over my legs. Another side note – I have never had any stretch marks before being pregnant so they came as a pretty big shock.

Last month of being pregnant, can we say uncomfortable? The whole pregnancy my little baby had been on my right side bunched up and my ribs were all inflamed from his constant pressure on them. Hard to breathe, couldn’t sit up, impossible to sleep (I was lucky if I could get 2 hours total a night). I was really ready for this baby to come out.

Having a midwife was really amazing. We weren’t planning on it but they had room. I was interested in having a natural birth at the hospital, and we decided to attempt to use nothing during the delivery and if not then laughing gas because it didnt affect the baby at all. I was excited to have a natural birth. At the routine 39 week appointment with my midwife, she took my blood pressure…twice and then made me lie down and took it again and then told me we needed to go to the hospital right away. I was 160/120 and mine was usually about 130/70. We got to the hospital and got checked over and over and over again and it was staying high with it’s highest being at 179/126. Even after 3 doses of blood pressure medication there was almost no change. They induced me at 6pm on Wednesday. Contractions were strong and less than 3 minutes apart after a few hours. I was 3 cm dilated but it was going slow. By 6am I was using the laughing gas which was barely sustaining me and I was getting tired. At lunch time on Thursday they broke my water hoping to speed things up because I wasn’t dilating any more. That pushed me over the edge pain wise, maybe just in my head, and I was started on Demoral since my birthing plan was pretty much out the window. I slowly started dilating and by 8pm I was about 8 cm. I was in so much pain and couldn’t stop screaming and crying and even my midwife said I should get an epidural. I finally agreed and after it starting working I was really glad I gave in. After trying to push for 3 hours and being fully dilated and nothing happening, the doctor said I would be getting a C section and there was no other choice. I was pretty upset about it but after 37 hours of labor I was pretty quick to be okay with it. The C-section was the scariest thing ever but I made it through with my husband by my side.

After it was all over I had a beautiful baby boy weighing 9 pounds exactly and was 21 inches long. A pretty big boy. But he is healthy and happy and a great sleeper. But I also have a scar that I was never expecting to have. I can complain about the stretch marks and the giant cut but it really is all in the way you look at it and thats why I wanted to write my story. My scar is the product of a little boy who came out of me the only way possible, the stretch marks a result of making this little boy the healthiest newborn there is and I got some really great breasts out of it too. I mean I think they were great before but I always felt they looked fake because they were so perky. Now they are giant round real looking breasts and I like that a lot better.

I guess my point is that your shape is more than just the way your body looks. It’s about creating a life, or many lives, and the joys and pains that it has to go through to make that happen. The life of a child is worth any scar or stretch mark that I could ever see. I know it might not feel that way and believe me I have days were I feel like a round lump of whale (just ask my husband), but it’s a frame of mind and any body that has gone through pregnancy will be beautiful in its own way and thats the simple truth of it all.

1st picture – Prepregnancy Body
2nd picture – 37 weeks pregnant
3rd picture – My precious little man at 2 days old

A New Appreciation (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, PCOS, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 4 Comments

Age: 21, Pregnancies: 2, Births: 1
11 weeks postpartum

I’ve tried writing this entry almost ten times. Some stating how much I admire my body now, some stating how much I hate it. Instead, I’m just going to be honest.

I’d love to tell you that I adore my body despite it’s changes, but that would be a lie. What I can say is that I finally found appreciation for my body. Not only for it’s physical appearance but for the strength it had to grow my child and bring him to me on it’s own. You see, I come from a history of still born babies, miscarriages and incompetent cervix. When I found out I was pregnant, I was the most scared I have ever been for what journey I may have to take, what loss I may have to make. I struggle with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and had my fallopian tube erupt when I was only 16 years old. I never thought I would get pregnant, and was encouraged by my doctor to try before my chances lessened. I was newly single when I discovered I was pregnant. I had just ended a 2 year engagement with the love of my life and was going through a difficult struggle with depression, one that led me to lose a good amount of weight before finding out I was carrying another life inside me. One of the biggest struggles in my relationship was building a future and the fact that my fiance just wasn’t ready to let go of his youth. We started working on our relationship again despite his fear of becoming a father and didn’t up up getting back together fully until 2 months before the arrival of our son. I ended up a week overdue and went into labour on my own. I had a natural delivery and birthed a healthy, 7 pound little boy. All my fears dissapeared, and new ones emerged. My son was in my arms and he was okay, he was perfect.

From the second my boyfriend laid eyes on our son, I saw the change in him. I saw every path in our future together change. Now, with a relationship stronger than it’s ever been and a beautiful son who makes every breath worth taking, I still can’t help but stop and stare in sadness at the stretch marks and sag my skin has taken on. I’m not going to say that this struggle with my body is a new one, I’ve always been far too hard on my physical appearance, but I always had found confidence when it was necessary. I have a wonderful man who tells me everyday that I don’t look like I had a baby and look the exact same to him as before I had our son, but his effort just pushes me away more when it should pull me closer, and I feel guilt when he has to see me with my clothes off. Guily for not being the beautiful, sexy woman he once admired so much. I love him but to me the idea of him seeing me the same way as before our son seems very unrealistic, since the person I see in the mirrornow looks very different from the one I used to know. I know it’s going to take time to love my body again but I think I need day by day to get to know this new me, the way I look now.

At the end of the day, I always find myself able to shake my head and step away from the mirror. Every difference my body shows is the doing of bringing my son into this world, something I never thought possible for me, something many of those I love have not been able to accomplish. I hope one day I can love the physical changes of my body the same way I love the ability it had to bring my son to me. Until then, I’ll just continue being forever thankful to it, and realising that thousands of women out there would give more than the stretch marks we think are so terrible, just to have a baby they aren’t capable of having.

My first photo attached was 3 months before the conception of my son. Second photo is my belly at 40 weeks and 6 days pregnant, I went into labour the next night at 41 weeks pregnant and had him at 3:58am the next morning. Third and forth photos are of my body now, 11 weeks postpartum.

Updated here.

8 months pregnant with second daughter. (Proudmama)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Mom over 30, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 1 Comment

Previous posts here, here and here.

Age: 32
Number of pregnancies: Second pregnancy, 33 weeks along at time of writing this. First child is 27 months.

The last time I updated, I had just found out I was pregnant with baby #2. Now I am thrilled to say that I’m 33 weeks along with my second daughter. As you’ll see, I’ve been blessed with another big beautiful belly. Just like with my first daughter, I have no stretch marks (so far) and I’m carrying all in front of me. Asides from the “look” of it though, it’s actually been a very different pregnancy . This time around, I’ve had it pretty tough. I’ve had a lot of morning sickness (which I didn’t have the first time) and I’ve been dealing with a bad case of SPD (symphysis pubis dysunction) which has kept from being as active as I would have liked. My anemia has gotten a lot worse and I’ve found out that my body doesn’t absorb Vitamin B12(not pregnancy related) and I’ll have to get injections for the rest of my life. Throw in a 2 year old to take care of and a home daycare to run, and I’ve been pretty tired and in a lot of pain.

But even though I’m exhausted and ready for this pregnancy to be over, I’m not losing sight of how fortunate I am to have been giving the chance to experience motherhood a second time and I’m especially excited to have been given another precious baby girl. I’ve tried to really enjoy every single moment and be in tuned with the changes in my body despite everything because we don’t plan on having any more children. I honestly haven’t given too much thoughts on my postpartum body, I figure I’ll have enough time to worry about that later. For the moment being, I just want to cherish my baby’s healthy movements and enjoy my last weeks of being a mother of one before chaos sets in. :) All I know is that having to “run” after kids all day must have kept me somewhat in shape because I’ve only gained 17 pounds so far which I think is pretty good. Hopefully I’ll manage to stay under 25 pounds.

I still read your entries and constantly get inspired and touched by them and I promise I’ll keep you posted when this little one is born. Cheers mamas!

The pictures were taken at 33 weeks. Hard to imagine I’ll get even bigger.

Learning to be Proud of My Body (Rach)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Plus-Sized Mom, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 6 Comments

age 21
1 pregnancy\1 birth

I am now 21, i have always been over weight i am 5’2 and i am 240, i have always found it hard to love myself but i wear my weight well. (most ppl dont know how much i really weight) when i was 19 i fell in love with a bad person but i fought for our love and was told i could never have children because i was over weight and had ovarian cysts , better luck i guess when we are ready it will happen. soon to my amazement i found out i was 6 weeks pregnant on my 20th birthday, after trying for so long my prayers were answered and i was so happy i cried, my family wanted me to get an abortion because of the father, but i refused. i had a really bad pregnancy, i was always sick and i had really bad circulation, my body swelled so much and my best friend took care of me most of the time (he is a guy), my fiance wasnt ever around, he was with other women. i was in the hospital from 32 weeks til i delivered at 40 weeks to a beautiful 9lb 5oz 22inch baby boy, and my whole world changed, even after the c section i was walking around and i healed very fast taking care of a newborn on my own, When i gave birth i weighed 270, and had no strech marks, i know love the fact that i have the love marks my son left behind, i look at myself and thank my baby boy everyday, i have come to learn that if i hadn’t had corvin, and this amazing gift in my life, something that shouldn’t of happend then i wouldn’t be the mother i am today, i am currently engaged to that best friend, and my son is the happiest, smartest, strongest thing that ever happen to me, and for that i love my body, this body created, nurtured, and loved that beautiful boy into this world, and my fiance to this day will rub my belly and i will not be offended because he loves my son and he says everytime ” i love your belly and i love my baby” i hope you all get inspiration and learn to love yourself, beautiful , skinny or a little fluffy, you have the most amazing motherly body in the world!

Tigers are tough, so that’s why I have stripes (Megan)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions 13 Comments

Age-21
Height-5’2
# of pregnancies- 1 miscarriage.. 1 full term
Weight gained during pregnancy- 45lbs

I am 37 weeks pregnant today. And when I look in the mirror I see warrior. My story is unfair, but I love that it happened to me. It has
given me the strength that I have needed for each and every day of these long 9 months. Lets go back to July 2011 when I found out I was
expecting, after only a month of trying with my beloved fiance of 3 years. I was over the moon with joy as I sat on my bathroom floor and
cried tears of excitement and happiness. I called my fiance and told him the good news. He sounded angry and said we would talk later. My high spirits had lowered after that and I sat there wondering what was wrong? Later on he got home and sat on the couch, he asked me to sit down. I had no idea what was about to happen, but if I did I would have had a titanium bat ready for him. He said I can’t be with you anymore. I asked why. He said Jessica, his “ex” girlfriend, was 8 months pregnant with his child and they’ve been together for the entire time. My first thought was that he was just making this up because he was scared.. and then he whipped out the ultrasound photo of his daughter. I sat there, tears streaming down my face not even knowing how the hell this happened or how dumb I was to have missed the signs of his infidelity. How could he actively try to conceive with me knowing that he had another on the way? As I sat frozen on the couch he packed his things and left. I sat on that couch the whole night, not moving an inch, knowing that if I did I would have to go find him and kill him. A few weeks go by with no word from him, I went about my life in a zombie like state, hating him more and more every day, but realizing that I was pregnant and went for my first ultrasound. Well., that was it for me. I was in love with this
little person growing inside of me. My whole perceptive changed that day. I was glowing and excited and looking towards the future with a grin so big it could have blinded someone. When I was about 16 weeks he called me. I asked him what was up. He said he wanted nothing to do with me or my child ever again and to not contact him because he was starting his new family and didn’t want any distractions or trouble. I said No problem! and hung up the phone. I haven’t talked to him since. As my belly grew and my excitement increased, I noticed some small stretch marks.. that eventually turned into large stretch marks. And even though I am young, and my body will never be the same after this, I know that my child gave me the most amazing strength I could ever have to not break down and loose it all. But hey, I figured.. a tiger has to be tough! And god damn I was a tiger proudly sharing my stripes with all of you.

First photo- 20 weeks, no stretch marks(black and white)
Second photo- 37 weeks.. lots of stripes
Third photo- 37 weeks front view

Pregnancy I of III (Sam)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 5 Comments

I’m now pregnant with my third child, but I thought I would better start with the first…. so here we go…. I was always curvy, so I didn’t really experience any more stretch marks than the one I already had…. And I must say that the body just got more mature…. from a chubby teen to a curvy woman! I had no complaints about it :)

Age: Now 27 then 22
Number of pregnancies and births: 1st of 3…
The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 0,3,5

Hello Again, Friends (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 11 Comments

Previous post here.

This is my new entry :) I made a previous entry approximately a year ago describing my issues with body image and trying to love my body. Am I there yet? I wish I could say that I am but it is a long process. I have had my struggles and to be honest some days are better than others. Some days I feel like a sexy mamma ! Other days I wear baggy clothes and I want to hide my body. You just never know. What I feel has honestly helped is working out. I am extremely passionate about it. I am six years post p and I still have the stomach of loose skin and breasts that sag more than I like. Still, when I challenge my body in a work out I feel a million times better. I feel strong despite my negative emotions about my body. When I work out I feel like it doesnt matter that my skin sags in certain spots or that I have stretch marks. All I think about is being brace and strong. There are so many emotional stories on here. What I find motivating about this site is that even if you read a sad story about a woman who fears her new body, women comment to make her feel how she truly should, a strong woman, a tiger who should be worshiped for her contribution to this world even if you feel like the only one you ever made was your child. To have a child and raise a child whether you are old or young is an amazing thing. None of us do it perfectly and we all have regrets. Lets not make our bodies one of those regrets. When you only have one life to live why punish yourself for something like this? Embrace who you are and how you feel. Acknowledge your feelings and morn the old body but embrace what is new after that. Be healthy, eat healthy and try to think healthy as a whole. Focus on that amazing child of yours :)

I give all of the women on this site a lot of credit :) Every single one of you from all walks of life….one big thing in common. The life we brought into this world !

Here are some pics :)

– one pregnancy
– 6 years pp