(Un)expected Miracle (Proudmama)

Previous entries here and here.

Age: 31
Number of pregnancy and birth: 1
Age of child/months postpartum: 20 months

I’ve been meaning to post an update for a while.

I realized the other day that the reason I hadn’t was because I was waiting for a miracle. I kept waiting for that day where I would wake up without that extra skin and that belly button drowning in wrinkles. Without the abdominal muscle separation that keeps me away from wearing certain type of clothes. So that I could post: “See, if you wait x amount of months, your body goes back to pre-pregnancy shape!” Not quite. Not for me anyway.

But I did take pictures a few days ago with the intend of updating and telling you that my body hadn’t changed much, but upon further examination it has. The changes are more subtle that I expected but while comparing these pictures with the 11months post-partum pictures, there are definitely less wrinkles and I think my shape has overall improved. It might just be because I’ve gained some confidence or because after 19 months of breastfeeding my breasts look like their old self again. It might very well be an optical illusion caused by lighting and a slight tan…But the important thing is that I’m able to look at myself and think, “You know what, I don’t look too bad at all.”

See the thing is, a miracle did happen, it just wasn’t the one I expected. My baby who at 11 months was just learning to stand on her own…well she isn’t quite a baby anymore. She’s this precious beautiful 20 month old little girl who’s running everywhere, getting into everything and talking up a storm. I’m in awe of her everyday. Every new word, every new skill is a miracle in itself. And while re-discovering the world through her eyes, I can’t help but see myself the way she sees me. And how can I not then think that my motherly shape is beautiful. She still loves to lovingly pat my belly (and now she actually says belly while doing so.) She still occasionally will lift my shirt to see if the breasts that nourished and comforted her for so long are still there. But now she just smiles and lay her head on my chest, “no boobies”, she says. Because she is “a big girl.”

My body might never be what it used to be and it might take me a long time to be confident enough to rock a bikini. But what it did by bringing my daughter into this life was miraculous. And whenever my little girl stops whatever she’s doing and runs over to give me a kiss, it really does remind me of what truly matters.

PS. I just wanted to let you know that after I sent the update, my husband and I found out we are expecting baby #2. We are ecstatic! And although a part of me does worry about how it will affect my body, it really is nothing compare to how blessed I feel to have been given the chance to experience motherhood a second time. I will keep you posted!

Updated here.

8 thoughts on “(Un)expected Miracle (Proudmama)

  • Wednesday, August 17, 2011 at 8:23 am

    Congrats on your pregnancy!!! I wish you all the best <3

  • Wednesday, August 17, 2011 at 9:36 am

    Congrats on the pregnancy, and you have an absolutely beautiful outlook on life and your image! You’re gorgeous by the way. :)

  • Wednesday, August 17, 2011 at 11:39 am

    You look amazing !! You have a very beautiful hour glass figure..you should definitely wear a bikini! Congrats on the new baby I also made a submission on here but it hasn’t been posted yet and I found out I’m pregnant with baby #2 as well !! Hoorayy for us :)

  • Wednesday, August 17, 2011 at 11:48 pm

    I read your previous posts. You are very beautiful writer. They touched my heart. I feel the exact same way about my daughter, who is just around the corner from being 10 months.

    Congrats on your second pregnancy! I do see improvement from your previous posts. I think you look wonderful and I would kill to have your tits.

    Can’t wait to hear more!

  • Thursday, August 18, 2011 at 10:53 pm

    You’re so beautiful, and your child is a gift from God! You are so blessed, and never forget that =)

  • Saturday, August 20, 2011 at 6:47 pm

    This made me tear up. You are so write and what you wrote is absolutely beautiful. Congrats on breastfeeding for 19 months! :) AND the new baby. :) You are very beautiful and I think you could easily rock a bikini. :)

  • Wednesday, October 19, 2011 at 4:29 am

    soo beautiful!! wish u luck with the baby!

  • Thursday, January 26, 2012 at 7:27 am

    you and i have almost exact body!! only thing i have smaller breast :/ and my belly button is a line going down not a botton at all.. :'( …. but i’m curvy and sexy otherwise, like you ;)!

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