I am 24, and I really dislike my body! I don’t feel like the same person,I feel like a stranger in my own skin! It is always on my mind. Its my saggy breasts that feel “deflated!”and my striped jelly belly. I hide my belly, my butt, my thighs, almost everything from my husband and I am absolutely terrified I will always feel that way! My husband says I am beautiful, but I cant see it at all! I need to lose about 50 lbs I was PP 125lbs (5’4”) and currently struggling to get under 170lbs. To make matters worse My husband is an ex marine and a bodybuilder! He has a near perfect physic! I feel like I don’t match up with him anymore! When I am pregnant I watch my body change into an alien while his just slowly improves! Its not fair! My husband says he is happy and he proves it, but it is still in the back of MY mind that he deserves a better looking wife! Any advice on how to love yourself again?
~Number of pregnancies and births:2 Pregnancies : 2 Births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 3 years, 5 months Boys!
First Picture is Before I had any Pregnancies and The second and third picture is 5 months Post Pregnancy with my second.
11 thoughts on “I feel like a stranger in my own skin! (Anonymous)”
You hardly look any different and you look amazing for a mum of two! I found that looking at myself as I would at another woman helped me. Instead of picking up on small ‘flaws’ I saw myself as a whole and realised I could be proud of my body. It’s not perfect but actually who is? Your husband may seem perfect to you, but then he should, you’re his wife and you love him. I BET he feels the same way about you. It is about learning to love yourself, the first step is to look at yourslef as whole and be as kind to yourself as you would be to another woman.
I know how you feel. I want to have another baby and am nervous to. I have had one and your tummy is in much better condition than mine. My hubby was in the army and he looks the SAME as when we met. I referred to myself as alien to. But am slowly learning to accept my new body. You still look beautiful and I HATE it when ppl tell me,”It’s not THAT bad.” Well the fact that it’s not that bad means theres still something bad about it you know? Thats why I am telling you your still beatiful, because we are and ppl can’t stay 18 forever:)
btw I have started this new work out called p90x and watching what I eat, not a diet but its called,”Eat this, Not That.” It has really helped me and the fact that your guy is all gun ho, he will really REALLY lol motivate you. It could be fun to work out with your guy you know? Try it I was 260 after I had my son then stayed around 210 the wt wasn’t going anywhere so I had to stop waiting for it to melt away(not one of the lucky ones)and get moving. I am at a decent wt of 175 now only a month and a half into it. I am 5’10” so I hold it okay. Get moving and have your man help you, make it fun!!
You have a very cute tummy! I don’t see the stripes, nor do I see the 50 lbs. I see a beautiful womans body who has produced 2 children. I would listen to your husband, you are beautiful! Give yourself some time too, your only 5 months post pardom, it will get better. :)
Men are visual animals and they need to see the woman they love, all of her. He helped to make those babies let him also enjoy in all the fruits of them, including you.
Wow your belly looks beautiful having brought two babies into this world and to think the last one was just 5 months ago!! Your husband loves you and your babies love you set aside your insecurities and see what they see… a hot momma with two gorgeous children who deserves to be happy and proud for nurturing two babies in her belly :)
I’m willing to bet that if you asked him, your husband would come up with half a dozen things he hates about himself. You think he is perfect but you think he is perfect too. Ask him, it will be enlightening.
He may be “near perfect” (in your eyes) but your body has done something that his hasn’t, and will never be able to–grown two beautiful babies. Imagine what he would look like to give that sort of love. You look lovely, dear, please stop being so hard on yourself.
I struggle off and on with accepting my body for what it is, too. It is difficult when you live with someone who is in better physical shape than you, but I have learned that comparing myself to other people is a dangerous thing to do.
It sometimes helps me to remember to be grateful for what my body does. It produced and nurtured two gorgeous babies. It can heal itself from small cuts and scrapes. It runs 24 hours a day, pumping blood, digesting food, breathing, dividing cells, and doing all of these things that I don’t even think about. It is a pretty amazing machine and the least I can do is appreciate it. It may not be the shape I think I want it to be, but caring for it is something I can do to show my gratitude.
wtf— where are your stretch marks?? LOL
I know what you mean about your husband. Mine is in the Navy and women are *always* hitting on him (to his credit, he’s usually too dense to realize it’s happening, and he never flirts back– he thinks he’s just being polite). But I still wonder how he can be happy with me when he could get any woman he wants, even if only for a night. I have problems loving myself, my eating disorder flares up now and then and my legs are covered in scars from a misguided adolescence. I’ve found that the biggest part of a woman’s attractiveness is her confidence.
Which is why some women who are curvier and rock those bikinis are just as hot as those Victoria Secret models. So my advice to you: FAKE it until you MAKE it! There’s a great blog called Stop Hating Your Body at Tumblr and another one called Curve Appeal that I visit on a daily basis, and it help me get through the day without hating myself. Good luck! And thanx for standing by your husband, you are serving your country too by offering him support :)
Try to be positive. There will always be something that isn’t perfect about our bodies, but that’s what makes everyone so unique. Our bodies go on the journey of life with us and during that journey we gain marks, some permanent and some that fade. Our bodies go through so much; especially us mothers. I agree with El: Work out with you man! It can be a lot of fun and he can help motivate you. Watching what you eat is important, too.
Your children love your body, you man loves your body, you should love it, too! Accept what you can’t change and change what you are able to.
The more I look at these photos, the more I’m reminded of the classical standard of beauty and femininity popular during the Renaissance…check out Botticelli’s Venus (with her distinct tummy pouch) or Ruben’s generously-sized Three Graces. And these were IDEALS of beauty back then!