Belly

Will I ever learn to love my body? (Jen)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 6 Comments

32 years old, 3 pregnancies, 2 children, 6 and 4 years old, separated last year

I am trying to learn to love my body again. I am mostly still embarrassed by it and feel disgust when I look in the mirror. I am proud of the fact that I have lost almost 70lbs over a year ago and have kept the weight off. I did that with the help of a personal trainer. Although most days I still feel like I’m overweight.

I have a wonderfully supportive boyfriend now who tells me I look perfect and that he wouldn’t change anything about me. I just wonder everyday if I will ever get over these in securities that are constantly in my mind.
Reading other womens stories here has really helped me feel like at least I’m not alone in this!

Update (Dee)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Butt, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 3 Comments

Original post here.

Age: 18
# of Pregnancies/Births: 1
Age of Child: 17 months

It’s been 1 year since my first post and I’m now 17 months postpartum. My body hasn’t changed drastically in that time, but there has been some progress. My once pink stretch marks on my stomach, butt, and hips are now invisible in photographs and not noticeable unless I stretch my skin to emphasis them. 1 year ago I was at 115 lbs and now have dropped to 105 lbs, which is less than my pre-pregnancy weight. My breasts are the most depressing part of my body. I feel completely flat-chested and embarrassed that I don’t have ANY natural cleavage. They make me so sad and I look forward to getting implants one day when I can afford it. Recently, I’ve become somewhat depressed and I feel like it’s getting worse. My boyfriend and I live separately because we can’t qualify to buy a home yet. In attempt to help our family and because I felt like I needed some independence, I got my very first job. I ended up never getting to see my boyfriend. My daughter wouldn’t adjust to daycare and it was so damn expensive that at the end of the day I hardly made $10. On top of all that, I cheated on my boyfriend with a guy I worked with. It was just a kiss, but I still felt terrible and my boyfriend got it out of me. I quit my job with my head hung low because not only did I not help my family financially AT ALL (I just about broke even after gas, daycare, and clothes/shoes I had to buy for work), I lost my boyfriend’s trust and violated our relationship. I feel like a failure. It makes me feel so horrible when I’m sitting at home with my daughter and I cry. She’ll bring me a tissue to wipe my eyes and give me a hug and kiss. I know that I need to be strong for her, but I feel helpless. Being self-reliant is completely out of reach for me at this point in my life. Now that I’m not working I need to get back into the swing of all the household cleaning and chores that need to get done, but I just haven’t been motivated. With all that being said, my body actually makes me happy most of the time, except for my breasts of course. I’d love to get into modeling, but I’m worried that my tattoos, scars, and lack of height will prevent me from getting anywhere. Every day is a struggle for me right now, but I know I need to keep my head up and tell myself that everything will turn out okay. Thanks for reading.

Photos:
1-3. Postpartum body
4. My little Daisy

Face of a Single Prayer (Allyshia)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Eating Disorder, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Teen Mom 7 Comments

age: 17.
Pregnancies: 2 // births: 1 and 1 on the way!
Age of children: 13 months and 9 weeks pregnant :)

I was 15, struggling through anorexia and I was 78 lbs. I was 4’10” and still am at the moment! I was about 87 lbs at the time I conceived my daughter and my weight went up and up and up! I had a sudden realization that I needed to eat. So from 200 to 1800 calories a day I went. I put on about 25 lbs in the first 20 weeks. Which, was actually 20 lbs of weight I needed for myself. So 5 lbs for baby! By 38 weeks, I was 138 lbs. I had gained about 30 for baby and 20 for me. I felt pretty good. Big but good! I didn’t get stretch marks untl 28-29 weeks though. So I had a long way and a lot of stretch marks to gain. I got them on my boobs, butt, back, belly, the back of my knees, my ankles, everywhere!

On February 24, 2011 at 12:30 am, my water broke. At 8:50 am, after only 3 hours and 20 minutes of hard labor, my beautiful 7 lb 11 oz baby girl was born naturally. No epidural. Nothing. Just breathing and relaxation. She is a beautiful little toddler, healthy and happy and just so happy! She has the normal health issues any baby would have; ear infections here and there, a yeast infection once, bladder infection once. I think it’s because I didn’t strengthen her immune system by breast feeding. I feel bad for not being able to but she has done so well anyway.

On February 15, 2012 her little sibling was conceived! (From the ultrasound we got) We are 9 weeks pregnant and ecstatic. It was unplanned but one night of passionate Valentines day love turned into another loved little one :) He/she looked like a little bean on the ultrasound.

My weight is about 118 lbs right now (still healthy range) and has only gone up a lb since this baby. Our weight gain goal is about 25-30 lbs. I plan on exercising and walking and eating healthier this pregnancy so it is easier to flatten my tummy. I don’t care about the extra skin. I just want to stop looking pregnant whenever I eat (except now. it’s okay now!). I might get a belly band as well. My stretch marks have faded all naturally. No procedures at all.

Thanks for reading :)

PICTURES!

1st) 5 weeks/pre pregnancy body:
2nd) 20 weeks with baby girl:
3rd) 34 weeks:
4th) 38 weeks belly! :
5th) 8 weeks with this bub! :
6th: 8 week 5 day ultrasound:
7th) postpartum belly (taken today):
8th) my girl on her 1st birthday:
9th) my Lilia today! :

Great Pregnancy – Nice Body (Rada Bond)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 34 Comments

~Age: 29
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1 preganancy – 1 birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: my son is 1 year and 4 month old today

My name is Rada, I am from Moldova and I am 29 years old. My baby boy – Karim – is 1year and 4 months old today. I got on your site accidentally, but I did not leave it until I read more than half of the stories of mom’s. Reading the messages I experienced different feelings, like sharing happiness of the women being mothers, compassion about them being worried and disappointed by their bodies. And I compared the situation with that of fighting a disease champagne – why to spend a lot of money and effort on treatment and not on preventing it.

I planned my pregnancy, I tried to do it in the best way I could – and I think I succeeded. I had a magnificent pregnancy, enjoyed every single day of it, I delivered my angel boy in my home in water, and I got my body almost as it was before I got pregnant. And I don’t think there is something magical in my body, I am convinced that this is due to hard work during the pregnancy. By hard work I mean – correct alimentation (which is completely different from what doctors advice us), a lot of physical activity – my day to day work plus special exercises for pregnant women, (regarding the physical activity unfortunately the doctors are misguiding pregnant women), and of course special exercises after the delivery. Of course, a sharp eye can see the changes in my body, I am still breastfeeding, so my breast will be a little bit different from how they were before. But I DON’T really care. Breastfeeding is the best thing I experienced, after the delivery. Breastfeeding brings me the most expensive and dear moments spent with my son. When I breastfeed the time stops, there is just me and my baby in the whole Universe – this is what I call happiness.

Like we see, the doctors play a great role in the disappointment that a woman faces after having the baby.

Here are coming with their offers the cosmetic companies – but the truth is that their remedies are TOTALLY useless. If there is an effect it is illusionary, for a short period. So, women better use natural remedies.

But, in the end I would like to say that a woman makes a great think by delivering a baby. And without a wise body this would not be possible. So I think that we must cherish our bodies, however they look like. Not the body attracts men in a woman’s life, it is her soul that shines from her yeas. It is her smile that captures the moment. A man that found his woman, the ONE, will thank God for every stretch on her body, for this means that his woman is a true woman, a one that brought him a baby. This is blessing.

ALL MOTHERS ARE WOMEN FIRST OF ALL. GREAT WOMEN.

Scared to Look Down (Ana)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 23 Comments

age: 24
1 pregnancy
mother of 4 yr old princess
natural birth

you would think that 4 yrs would make it easier to accept the changes in your body.. but its definitely not, for me atleast. i was never the “skinny” girl, and that always bothered me.. and after giving birth the list got longer. i, like many other moms on this site, have the saggy belly problem.. or “the baby butt” like i refer to IT lol.. i love my daughter with all that i have, but it doesnt take away the fact that i am now 24 and i have a huge fear of wearing a bikini or two piece bathing suit to the beach. so many things i cant wear anymore (cropped shirts are tooo cute).. and its def something thats always in the back of my head. i too have spent hrs and hrs on google looking at how amazing these celeb moms look after 1 week of giving birth. its not fair. and it doesnt end with celeb moms.. alot of my friends and friends of friends who also have kids, got back their bodies intact. no stretch marks no sag. why? i know we must learn to accept and wear our tiger stripes proudly but its so hard… maybe im just pessimist and need to look at the glass half full instead of empty.. this site has def pushed me in the right direction.. ive read entrys where i could hold back the tears…I can so relate to it all.. thank you ladies for showing me who i WANT to be.. that fearless mom who can teach her daughter that we are beautiful! God bless :)

ps. i am a huge fan of urban outfitters and american apparel and i am so happy high waisted bathing suits are back. as well as high waisted jeans and slacks. makes it a bit easier :)

35 Weeks Pregnant (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions 8 Comments

This pregnancy took me by surprise. I wasn’t seeing anyone seriously and when I found out and told the father, whom I’d been seeing casually for about six months, he acted so shamefully that I knew I wouldn’t have his support in the long run. I was right, a couple months of no contact later, he moved to another country. I’ve always known that if I were to become pregnant I’d keep the baby, and I’ve always found pregnant women so beautiful. I imagined myself thin and fit with a big round belly, full of liveliness and energy. My pregnant reality is that I’ve already got some deep purple stretchmarks on the bottom of my stomach (hard to photograph), back fat, and cellulite everywhere. My breasts are sagging and I have no idea the shape my stomach will take after I deliver. Why did my arms get so fat?

I wondered if I’d ever wear a bikini again (pictured 1 month pre-pregnancy, and 35 weeks along), so I squeezed into my old bikini for fun and it was bittersweet. I’ve gained at least 25 lbs, probably more but I refuse to look at the scale when they weigh me.
This is going to be tough, but I’m so excited to meet my little boy, regardless.

Struggling With the Changes (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Infertility, Postpartum, Submissions 13 Comments

I found this website in a moment of weakness I was having with myself over issues with my body and I decided that since reading everyone’s stories and seeing their pictures that I couldn’t resist posting my own photos/story to maybe help someone else. I am 20 and actually planned a pregnancy (with my boyfriend of 5 years) due to the worry of infertility with age from issues with my reproductive organs. Anyways, I was very excited. I weighed 159 pounds (the most of my whole life) when I found out I was pregnant. I didn’t have a single stretch mark until I was 8 months and 2 weeks pregnant and then it seemed I got one with every breath I took. I was ALL belly which I thought was a good thing. My pregnancy was very rough on me, I lost over 20 pounds within the first 5 months from being so sick, then I finally gained some weight and kept gaining. I got pre-eclampsia at 38 weeks and was put in the hospital. I never progressed even with early labor and being induced therefore I had to have a cesarean (which I so DESPERATELY did not want!) It was very hard on me, it traumatized me but I had my baby, whom I love with all of my heart. My child never breastfed correctly so I pumped for four months and my milk literally dried up over night (yet another unexpected disappointment.) Anyways, I weighed 172 pounds the day I had my child, then while pumping I got down to 139, and now I am back up to 160! I don’t understand! I got on Nuvaring and it seems to be the best birth control of my life (the others gave me clots, gain weight, etc.) I’m not sure if the ring, stress, or negative body image is making me gain weight but I need help. I am struggling so much with my body image. I feel 6 months pregnant. My legs and arms need toning of course, but my breasts seem deflated and my belly just seems like a large (LARGE) unattractive lump that hangs over my jeans! I am sure that the way I look at myself doesn’t exactly turn my boyfriend on – which causes issues also. I just feel like I’ve never been satisfied with my body even when I weighed 100 pounds and I’ve never had a flat stomach but I am young. I want to be able to take my child swimming (which means me in a bikini – not happening.) I am not crazy about the stretch marks but I at least try to feel okay knowing that I got them from carrying my amazing child – yet the flabby jiggling belly is just wrecking me. I am just ashamed.

The first picture is 37 weeks pregnant.
The second picture is frontal stretch marks 8 months PP.
The third picture is my belly from the side, also 8 months PP.

Second Baby, 9 Pounds 13 Ounces – Update (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 7 Comments

Previous entry here.

I am now 4 months postpartum, after my second child. I was 1 week overdue when I had him and I knew he would be a big boy. I had terrible pelvic symphysis pain with him. I couldn’t roll over in bed and by the time I was 40 weeks along, I stopped doing my regular exercise (walking 1 mile a day). It was just so painful! The day he was born, I was around 158 pounds (two pounds lighter than the day my 7 pound 11 oz daughter was born at 39 weeks). I guessed that he would be born weighing 8 pounds, nearly 9 pounds. On November 1st, 2011, I was scheduled for induction at 41 weeks. I wanted so badly to go into labor on my own (as I was induced with my daughter for high blood pressure). My blood pressure had been excellent throughout this pregnancy, at around 112/60, so I had high hopes. After lots of prayer, I went ahead and scheduled the induction. Thankfully, I went into labor early in the morning on November 1st. At first, I thought it was back pain (which wasn’t unusual), but I quickly realized that it was the real thing. The labor still had to be augmented with Pitocin later down the line, but I got to go into labor on my own! My epidural worked this time around and I was able to actually really enjoy and remember the experience of childbirth. My son, however, was posterior just as my daughter was and he also needed a vacuum to assist the delivery. I could feel his large head in my pelvis as I pushed – a bizarre feeling that I’ll never forget. The doctor was amazing and tried to turn him to an anterior position as I pushed. There was a bit of an issue with shoulder dystocia and meconium. The scariest part was the fact that the cord was wrapped around his neck. It was frightening not to hear him cry for a few minutes after birth. However, he is a very healthy little boy! We are so thankful for him. When the nurse weighed him, she said, “He’s a big boy!” I remember thinking, “Of course he’s big! I was overdue!” Then she turned him toward me and I squinted at the scale! 9 pounds 13 ounces! What?! How could that be? I’m a petite woman and my husband is fairly short at 5 feet 10 inches (his father and brothers are well over 6 feet tall). The doctors checked his blood three times, thinking that perhaps I had unchecked gestational diabetes, but I didn’t! The doctor said, “He’s just a big boy!” Today, he is 4 months old and over 18 pounds. My arms are getting quite a workout, but it must be good for me because I’m already back down to 118-119 pounds. I might be back down to my old weight, but my old body has changed quite a bit. I earned quite a few stretch marks on my tummy that I didn’t have before (I had a lot of extra amniotic fluid, as well as a big baby) which are fading and my tummy is still a little fluffy. At times the stretchmarks bother me, but considering that I carried such a big boy, it could have been much worse. I want to start jogging soon, but I’m going to wait until the weather gets a little nicer. I want to be careful that it doesn’t effect my milk supply as well. Losing weight so quickly makes me nervous about my supply (although I had no issues in the 2 1/2 years I nursed my daughter). My goal is to nurse my son for just as long as I nursed my daughter. Nursing is going great and I’m enjoying the time with my little guy while he’s still little.He’s already sitting up and I get this feeling that time will fly just as quickly, or more quickly, than it has with my five-year-old.

Thanks for reading my update. :)

~Your Age: 27; Currently: 5 foot 2 inches, 119 pounds
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2 pregnancies, 2 births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 1st child: 5 years, 2nd child: 4 months

1st photo: close-up on stretchmarks at 2 weeks postpartum
2nd photo: goal weight, but not goal shape, 4 months postpartum
3rd photo: 4 months postpartum
4th photo: 40 weeks 2 days pregnant (notice how I’m carrying extra fluid above my belly button)
5th photo: me with my darlings

Trying Really Hard But Losing Hope (Sophya)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Complications in Pregnancy, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions, Toxemia 11 Comments

Age: 33

Number of pregnancies/birth: 2

Age of children: 6-year-old daughter and 7 months-old son, 7 months post-partum

I’ve been visiting SOAM for the last four years since I had my daughter and I wish to thank warmly all those wonderful women who’ve had the courage to post their stories and voice out their fears. You have all been truly inspirational and sometimes, reading these stories was the ONLY thing that kept me from plunging into despair after I had my baby girl. I have always been overweight (I had to be fed low-fat milk as a baby so as not to put on too much weight), and the “thinnest” I have been in my adult life was 64 kg, which I managed to reach before my wedding in 2003 by following a horrible diet and abusing a bit on laxatives. I had my baby girl in 2006 and put on 27 kg during the pregnancy and was absolutely devastated at the state of my body after that. Over the next four years, I managed to lose 25 kg through on-and-off diets and religious exercise. I was very scared to have another baby for fear of what it would do to my body and my health again, which was fine because by that time, my marriage had somewhat broken apart and my husband and I were not having sex. Then, after a wonderful holiday in December 2010, things got patched up and we decided that having another baby would not be a bad idea, and I quickly fell pregnant in January 2011. But I had a very difficult pregnancy…I started bloating at 2 months, was anaemic throughout the pregnancy, my husband had to travel when I was 4 months along and we got robbed while my daughter and I were alone in the house, I lost all my wedding jewellery and a lot of money, had serious car problems…all that stress made my blood pressure soar and I was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia and had to undergo and emergency c-section at 33 weeks because my placenta had started tearing apart from the high blood pressure. After the operation, my BP still wouldn’t go down and I had to be put in ICU for 48 hrs. I felt like hell after the op. But my baby boy was in the incubator and I had to go to the clinic to try and breastfeed him everyday. After I finally came home, I had to learn caring for a premature baby (plus dealing with my 5 year old) and had no time or energy to care for myself. I started dieting and exercising about 3-4 months pp and managed to lose 9 kg in 3 months (I put on about 15 kg with this pregnancy), again by following a hell of a protein-only diet and forcing as much exercise on me as I could possibly handle. Despite all these efforts, I still feel heavy, bloated, and look like I’m still 5 months pregnant. My gynae says that my body went through major trauma during the op, my tissues are all mushy inside, my uterus is badly ruined (he’s been practically screaming at me NOT to have any other babies), so that’s why I will take more time to recover than if I had a normal delivery. I’m now running out of strength when I see that fat, massive 5-months-preggo-looking belly of mine. I don’t care about looking good again or about the stretch marks (I know I’ll forever have the pouch…it doesn’t bother me because my marriage is on the rocks again and I don’t think my hubby and I will ever have sex again, so there’s nobody to see me naked again), I just want to STOP feeling so huge. I know I have to be strong for my children, but after all these efforts, still having this massive weight to carry around is starting to bring me down. I am now 7 months PP and I’m starting to think I’ll never be my ‘normal’ self again.

The pics are me 7 mo PP and my daughter (she just turned 6) and son.