Belly

Pregnant when told I never would be. (Paula)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 5 Comments

my names Paula and im from essex in the untied kingdom, I am 16 weeks pregnant and my daughter is 26 weeks old, my starting weight was eight stone 3 lbs and in my first pregnancy i gained three stone, through a mixture of things.

I had My daughter by c-section due to having severe and i do mean severe SPD, it ruined my pregnancy, i coudlnt work i couldnt exercise i couldnt even stay the house on my own due to either passing out from gestational diabetes which i didnt know i had and exhaustion from all the painkillers i was being given to help me last as long as i could for my daughter.

I was proud of my figure pre pregnancy i had always been a good size six, (i say good because i was never skeletal i just have a small frame) and had big enough boobs that i never felt out of place in bikinis. Id spent my life being told i would never have children the natural way and had resigned myself to that fact so i liked what i saw in the mirror and that was fine with me.

then I found my partner again after ten years and just five months in to our new relationship we found that i was pregnant… I have never been so shocked as i was that day. however that day was the day i said goodbye to ym wardrobe and my collection of over 100+ shoes (not good) i started only eating what i would have normally but then i was active with work and going out, so when i became pregnant and devloped SPD almostimmidiatly i became unable to exercise or be active so when i ate out of boredom and then i could nothing about burnng it off it all soon piled on. three stone….. three stone i was sick at my final weigh in before the birth… how could i have put all that on? it was serioulsy scary even more so when my daughter came out weighing just 6lbs4oz i wanted to know where hte other wieght was and had to look at myself for eating all that i had…id never been one to eat for the sake of it and it made me sick seeing pictures of me that size i hated it… hated the face fat the huge butt the massive thighs. im lucky that i didnt get any stretch marks and thank all my stars for that lucky twist of fate but it seemedto take me ages to lose it. i couldnt exercise to make it go away and the c-section scar and spd were making life hard thank god i had a perfect baby she made life easy x

then just as i though i was making prgress and fitting some of my clothes i noticed the weight loss stopped again and i had no clue why…i became frustratd and angry at myself and the world and desparatly wanted my old shape back i hatedwht i saw in the mirror and still do even now.

howeverthe eventual reason to my sudden halt in weightloss turned out to be my second pregnancy wich i am in the second trimester of am suffereing already. again my clothes no longer fit my boobs look out of place and im left wondering will I ever be me again or am i simply doomed to be the bigger cuddlier version of my former self? oh pleasehelp me.

this first picture is me before any of my pregnancies,
the second one is of me with two weeks to go in my first pregnancy
i never did lose all of the weight from the first pregnancy i still had a stone to go so now i start this next pregnancy off bigger then ever and i just want to cry

The Beauty Within the “Ugly” (Ashley)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 9 Comments

I have never been happy with my body. I have always been chubby but my stomach never hanged over my pants or sagged…now it does. I am only 5’1 and gave birth to a beautiful 9lbs 12oz baby girl! All natural too! It was the most beautiful experience of my life. I love my baby girl more than anything. Some days I HATE my body…other days it isn’t so bad. Clothes don’t fit me right or well. Sometimes I am embarrassed of my body. But I am trying to appreciate it for all the work it has done and the nice home it created for my sweet baby girl. I am only 20 so it is hard to not have a thin, tight tummy! But my tummy has done work! Being pregnant was hard on my body and even after her birth it is still hard but it is all worth it. I know my body will never be perfect or close to perfect but my body served a purpose…it made a life…a beautiful sweet little life. I hate the appearance of it but it served its purpose! I used to have wonderful boobs, now they sag and have an ugly color to them but they feed my little angel. I’m just trying to see the beauty within the “ugly”…

Age: 20
Pregnancies: 1

Uphill Battle (Jade)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom 22 Comments

-Age- 18
-Pregnancy’s- 1 and -Birth’s- 1
-Children Age- almost 2yrs

I was only 15 when i concieved my little boy, zander. I had him June 1st of 2010 at 12.51pm. he weighed 8lb 14 oz and 21 1/2inches long. I have had a hard time dealing with the way i look. i know it could be alot worse but from where i was before having my son to now is a big change. at 15 pre-pregnancy i was 5’5″ 95lbs and a 34DD. my body was so perfect in my mind. my boobs where so perfect and perky, my nipples where the right size and shape. my tummy was supper flat, i was a dancer and had a dancer belly. now my sides have strectch marks, which u cannot really see in the picture, and truely they arent to bad compared to others but for me i worry so much about them. I hate almost everything about me and i know i shouldnt but i do. my fiance is kind of supportive. i know he thinks he loves me but i know i love him more than he loves me. but last october he did cheat on me. so i worry about his mind set it also made me feel so ugly and not good enough. we have been togethere for 4years now hes 4years older than me making him 22yrs old. sometimes i feel stuck because i want my son to have a daddy in his life but i dont know if me and him are right for each other. i have a fear of being alone and i dont know if someone is going to want me for the fact of the way i look and i have a child. now im rambeling haha. but thankyou for reading this and i love this site it has made me feel better and less alone

well the one picture is of my son Zander
my belly as of today 2years after birth(weighing 105lbs and a 34D)
me at 9 months pregnant

My Struggle (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 10 Comments

20 years old. 1 pregnancy, 1 birth.

I have struggled with my weight for years. My sister was always the tiny/petite one and I was always the chunky tomboy. At 15, my manager at American Eagle introduced me to adderall..I could take it and work hard all day without eating anything. I was losing weight and starting to feel good about myself for the first time in my whole life! In the summer of ’09 I was approached to model for Hollister..I started working there and befriended one of the managers right away! We bonded over our adderall use and it quickly turned into a stupid competition on who could lose more weight and look better in super low rise jeans and tiny tank tops. I was around 135lbs and a size 4 when I started working there and by the summer of 2010 I was 118lbs and a size 0 which was VERY thin for my 5ft 9in frame. On December 6th, two days before my 19th birthday…I found out I was pregnant! I stopped taking adderall immediately and started taking care of myself. My tiny sister had a 2 year old and was pregnant with her second child at the time, she had no stretch marks and went home from the hospital in her skinny jeans so, I was hoping I would get lucky like that too! At almost 30 weeks my very round belly started to itch CONSTANTLY and that’s when I noticed my stretch marks for the first time. I couldn’t stop crying..my husband tried to act like he didn’t see them and told me not to worry about it. I was almost 200lbs when I gave birth to our 7lb 14oz baby boy…my doctor never had any concern about my weight because of my build (I asked at every visit!) I was still hoping to shrink back down to normal when we got home but it didn’t happen..I was still huge and I had stretch marks on my stomach, sides, thighs, and legs. My sister kept telling me it wasn’t a big deal and I was depressed for no reason but hearing that from someone with two kids and no stretch marks just pissed me off more. A few girls that I went to school with had babies a couple of weeks after my son was born and it seemed like I was the only one with stretch marks…they were all back to their normal sizes just days after birth and I was still struggling.

My son is almost 10 months old now, I weigh about 145lbs and my stretch marks and saggy stomach still bother me every day. I truly believe that this little blonde haired blue eyed boy saved my life because if he hadn’t come along when he did, I wouldn’t have changed my unhealthy and very destructive lifestyle. This site made me realize that I’m not alone and I really enjoyed reading all of the inspirational stories. One day, I hope to be proud of my body and what it has endured.

Photos:
Summer of 2010
9 months post
9 months post
My handsome boy.

Still Struggling, but Starting to Accept It (Autumn)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 2 Comments

Age:21 almost 22
Previous Post here.
Pregancies: 2, Births: 2 Boys.

Hi My name Autumn and This is my Second Post, Its been Alil over 2 years since I last posted. Theres alot to update on My last post was in October 2010, I was 8 months pp with my first son, A month later in Nov 2010 I found out I was pregnant with my second son. They both were VIA c-Section, Hunter was 9’5 Kaige was 8’8 So I had big babies. Since My last post iv been through a birth of a second son, Weight up and down, Loosing our house on christmas day, and Moving back in with my mom, Loosing jobs and Getting new ones, I will admit i dont feel as bad as I did in my last post About my body, I know It created life and that My Man is not going anywhere, Hes been there for me through thick and Thin and was there for both the boys birth and is there and is such a good father. I gave birth to my second son In auguest 2011 So as of right now I am 21 months PP with my Second Son, Since the birth Of my second son I have Lost About 50 something pounds and now am down to 124 pounds, I was 108 when i got pregnant with my first one. But my body still isnt in pre baby shape. I just wish i didnt have the pooch because it hangs over my c section, I think its because I had big babies and Had a c section. Thanks for listening.

The pictures are me 21 months pp

Bikini Season (Monica)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 10 Comments

14 months postpartum
Mother of 3 year old and 14 month old

I came across this site after the birth of my first child. I was going through postpartum depression and it felt like everyone was pointing out my new mommy body and weight. This site made me feel so much better but still I couldn’t except my self. Being pregnant with my son I was 75 lbs larger (200 lbs) than I was before becoming a mommy. Even though he was a ten pounder it looked looked I hadnt lost any weight after the birth. Summer came and even though I live next to the beach, I went once in an athletic cover it all swim suit. That bathing suit was almost to my knees. Time went by and my husband went on deployment. My husband loves my body but I’ve always been ashamed around him. Once he was gone I realized I had to do something. I ran around my house, used workout videos, and ate right and for the first time since becoming a mom I felt fabulous. I didn’t lose all the weight, the stretch marks are still here but I am beautiful. I’m more beautiful than before. I just needed to love accept the body that I have and that carried my children. This year I’m showing the world that I am beautiful on the beach. Hope everyone has a fabulous bikini season.

155 (Colleen)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 9 Comments

Previous submission here.

My age: 28
I have had one birth so far, and am 22 weeks pregnant with my second.
My daughter is 2 years and 9 months old.

I was 155 pounds when I posted my first entry, 3 weeks after my daughter was born. I was optimistic about losing 15 pounds.

I was 155 pounds when I posted an update on my daughter’s first birthday. Since I hadn’t really tried, I knew those 15 pounds would be easy to lose.

I was 155 pounds when I got my second positive pregnancy test, when my daughter was 2 years and 5 months old. I realized those 15 pounds weren’t going anywhere, but I was okay with it.

And two weeks ago, at 20 weeks pregnant, I stepped on the scale, saw 155, and squealed in delight. Then ran out, got my husband, and made him come back and see.

My weight hasn’t really bothered me since I became a mother. I love my shape, I’m okay with that. What I hate is being unfit. Of huffing and puffing after walking up stairs, or chasing my toddler around. I had this fear that if I ended up holding on to 15 pounds after every pregnancy, I WOULD end up hating my weight.

I decided that this time around, I would eat better and exercise, with the hopes that my maternity pants would still fit at the end. Apparently I jinxed myself. The day my period was due, I ate a plate of nachos and left for work—and very nearly threw them up on the way there. Nausea is nothing out of the ordinary for me, but when my normal coping measures did NOTHING throughout the night, I knew something was up. I stopped on my way home, got a pregnancy test, and sure enough it was positive.

By 4 weeks and 5 days I was on Zofran and barely functioning. I am emetophobic; I have been afraid of vomit and vomiting for so long that my body literally can’t do it anymore, until the situation is so dire I’m begging for relief. Severe nausea also causes panic attacks, the lightheadedness and racing heart are really “helpful” when you feel like you’re already miserable. I am going to clarify that I have not vomited in either pregnancy (though not for lack of trying sometimes). I “just” spend 24/7 with this horrible, debilitating nausea that NEVER GOES AWAY, and an aversion to almost every food imaginable. There were days when I’d drive 20 minutes to the nearest Panera because the only thing I could even consider stomaching was an apple cinnamon crunch muffin. I’ve discovered that people don’t take nausea—as an ailment on its own, and not as a precursor to vomiting—seriously. The response to throwing up is “oh, are you okay?!”, but the response to nausea is, “suck it up and deal with it, at least you’re not throwing up!” The nausea and resultant dizzy spells were so bad that I quit my job when I was 10 weeks—something even my first pregnancy didn’t make me do. I never thought I’d be so desperate to gain weight. (Being upset about not gaining weight doesn’t gain you any sympathy, either, by the way).

I was 153 pounds, naked, when I found out I was pregnant. At my 8 week appointment I was 154 pounds, clothed. The lowest I saw was 146. The nausea started to improve around 18 weeks, and finally at my 20 week appointment I weighed 157. I was twice threatened with hospitalization for IV fluids/nourishment, but I managed to scrape by without it. As of three days ago I’m down to one Zofran a day, as part of getting-out-of-bed routine. I am hopeful.

Despite all of this, I LOVE being pregnant. I love the pregnant shape and watching my belly grow. I pick out clothes based on how well they show off my bump. I love those relaxed second-timer muscles that are giving me a bigger belly than I had last time (I do NOT love the relaxed second-timer round ligaments, though). I love feeling my second little girl dance around, a joy I never really got with my first because of her anterior placenta and her apparent predilection for hanging out wrapped around my spine. I am planning a VBAC, and I’m really hopeful for breastfeeding this time around (I nursed for 13 months with my first, but flat nipples, the cesarean, and a tongue tie made it hell at first). I’d have 12 kids if I thought I could handle it, just to continue being pregnant…but as it is we’re settled at three. The thought of going through the nausea even one more time is enough to stop me at three.

This picture is yesterday, at 22 weeks pregnant. Every week we take a picture and the weird shadow annoys me, but then I forget to try to fix the lighting the next week, so I guess I’m stuck with it. I’ve been going back and forth on not cropping my face out, but in the end I couldn’t get comfortable with the idea of having a fully nude photo of all of me on the internet where anyone can see. Maybe next time…

Updated here.

I’ve Earned my Tiger Stripes (Tara)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Tattoo 3 Comments

When i first discovered I was pregnant I searched everywhere for post baby bodies, terrified of what I was going to look like after. I didn’t find anything then but recently came across your site and loved it! Hopefully by sharing my story and images I can ease the fear of other soon to be moms!

I am 21 years old and the mother of 1. I am about 5ft10 and I have no idea what I weigh now nor what I weighed before I got pregnant, I did however, weigh 180 at the end of my pregnancy. If I look in a mirror and like what I see who cares what a scale will tell me :). I got pregnant 2 days after my 20th birthday and gave birth to my beautiful baby girl on November 11, 2011 weighing 8lb 4oz. Before I got pregnant I had been wearing the same jeans since grade ten, it took me three months postpartum to fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans and now six months later those jeans are to big on me! (I thank breast feeding for that). My shirts don’t fit me so well anymore though since I went from a 36B to a 36D :(. I miss my smaller boobs! These ones are always in the way! I have included three pictures of my stomach, one picture is before I got pregnant and two are 6 months postpartum. Thankfully my teddy bear tattoo still looks like a bear, I got it done with the intention of never having kids (decided that too soon I think). I still love my body and I’ll still be rocking a bikini this summer. I hope every mother out there finds the strength and ability to love the changes in her body after giving birth. I wear my stretch marks proudly because I earned them.

Second Chance (Aly)

Bonnie (SOAM) Abortion/Life after Abortion, Belly, Postpartum, Submissions 4 Comments

22 yrs old.,
2 pregnancies, 1 birth.,
Five month old daughter, pp.,
My story may be everywhere, sorry.,

I sit here having a good day which consists of me not thinking much of how I look. Mostly, I do have good days where when I do think of myself I envision my pre-pregnancy body. Bad days are where I think so negatively of myself that all I think about is wanting a tummy tuck. Why? A simpler solution to a fixable problem. I am five months postpartum, and not the same as I was before.

My story: I became pregnant when I was 18, but didn’t have the baby. I had an abortion for personal reasons that I have dealt with. It put me in a depression as life started to go bad for me. My relationship was failing, and I couldn’t cope with the loss of my baby very well. It is a decision I made on my part with the father. At the time I had thought that it was the only option for me. Now I bounce back and forth guessing if it was or wasn’t. I know I had a living, breathing, heart beating child inside of me. That was in 2008, it really messed with me too. I’m at terms with myself with what I have done. I forgave myself, but it is always a constant. I mention this because it is part of my story. The abortion was the cherry on top of everything.

My relationship:
My relationship started to fail, and it is because I wasn’t taking care of myself much. I mean I went out, had friends. When alone, I wasn’t happy. If I couldn’t be happy with myself, I couldn’t make my boyfriend happy. We were living together, but then things changed so I moved out. During the first year of battling my depression with the abortion we constantly fought, and I was blind. He didn’t want me because I couldn’t do much for me. I tried, but I was just going down. I had a job which I shortly got fired from. Bad, right? That isn’t it when I was working I had been living in the suburbs, but than moved back to the city. I ended up moving in with some people in a studio apartment. I slept on the floor, then afterwards… he broke up with me. After four years of being together it had been a bad break up, which I still never understood completely. But that is another story… which leads me to the fact that we had still been seeing each other even though we had broken up. After the break up, I still lived with the people for a while. The good thing is I had gotten myself into school because it is around the time the economy was still at a low point where I couldn’t get a job. It turned out to be a good thing because I would go out, and enjoy myself. I kept up a 4.0 GPA which dropped a little because towards the end I had some issues. I lost my grandmother, the people I lived with were drug addicts (which I am proud to say I never touched that stuff) and I slept on the floor. I struggled during this time. I started to drink a bit more, lost weight because living with drug addicts there is hardly any food. Towards the middle of school I moved back in to my ex boyfriend’s moms house where we were living together. He moved out, and I ended up graduating.

Now: We did get back together after much talking, and a year of not being together. I had left the state a couple times to go be with family during the holidays. He proposed so we got engaged, than got our own place, and then tada I became pregnant. We wanted this pregnancy, which I am forever so thankful for. I was 115 lbs before pregnancy, and came out weighing 167 lbs in the end. Tragic for me. I went from having this tiny hour glass figure to this much fuller hour glass figure. I don’t regret my pregnancy, but I could’ve taken better measures to not gain so much weight. The part I am grateful for I had a wonderful, problem free pregnancy. I had a 15 hr induction. My epidurial did fail me towards the end so it became a natural birth. Those induced contractions are no joke! I gave birth to a beautiful little girl 7 lbs, 15 0z, 19 inchs. The apple of my eye, the blessing from god, my second chance. My high school sweetheart, the same guy married me. He is now my husband, and I love him for all that he does for us. But the main issue I have? My body I beat myself up so bad about when I am having a bad day… I stay at home with our daughter. Which I don’t mind because I love watching her grow into this beautiful child. I can’t find one favorite part of her that I like the most because all of her is beautiful. I just have my days where I feel so down that I hate my body, and want to give up. Yes, give up and just go get a job so I don’t have to think. When I look at her, and play with her it is when I really forget everything. Her smile brings the warmth back to me, and makes me forget. It is just hard to accept the fact that my body will no longer be the same., I just want to be at a good place with myself where I can shrug while looking at someone with a smile. Women were made to create, and carry life… yet we can’t deal with our self image. I have stretch marks everywhere, and the funny thing? I don’t mind them at all. My grandmother has them, my mother has them, and I in a way had been prepared for these stripes. I earned them, I’m proud of them. It is just my protruding tummy that makes me look six months pregnant. Thankfully my husband, and I have started a diet together. We will diet together with exercise, we motivate each other which I am forever grateful for. I can’t do certain things, or go to a crazy workout because I am breastfeeding too. A bond I forever cherish, <3. I just wish I was comfortable with myself. I hate thinking negatively, or feeling so down. I just hope with some patience with a positive outlook I can be okay with myself. Once I am okay with myself I can then become comfortable with gaining more confidence... I like my stripes. I just feel like sharing my story for myself, and to show the truth of motherhood... and what we deal with. I'm lucky to have a daughter who has love for me in her beautiful eyes, and a husband who accepts me. They keep me grounded. Three pictures are: Front view with stripes, side view with stripes, and side view when sucked in. I hope with the dieting, and exercise it will improve some. :) [gallery]

Update (Dalena)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 5 Comments

Previous post here.

In my first post I had given myself a goal weight of 140lbs-145lbs to be reached within a year… Its been a year and I haven’t made it. I stopped dieting however I still ate fairly healthy. And I wasn’t working out as much as I should have been. I’ve increased my goal weight by 10lbs based on how I feel. If I ever make it to my original goal I will be thrilled if not I’m okay with it. I’ve accepted my body as it is. My only goal now is to be healthy and fit. Still for Chanel who just started walking!! Yay!!

For those who didn’t read my previous post I was 230 on delivery day… I lost 30 lbs the first 2 weeks after delivering via c-section. At 5 weeks postpartum I had only 8lbs to lose to be back to my pre-pregnancy weight of 185lbs. Today I am 175lbs… 10lbs under the weight I was at my first prenatal appt. That’s a total of 55lbs lost since delivery day. I’m now working towards my new goal. Hoping to lose 25lbs by my birthday in August. I’m eating 1200 calories a day and going on hours long walks. Hopefully I’ll make it this time. I definitely have more motivation then I did before… Edamame is my new favorite snack!!

Thank you for reading.

Pictures below are of me today. 1 year and 5 weeks pp