Belly

Nowhere Else to Turn (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Butt, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 17 Comments

I had only been dating my boyfriend for 3 months when we found out I was pregnant. I was on depo for 5 years, took antibiotics, then freaked because I forgot about the effect that antibiotics have on BC, so I took Plan B. Still got pregnant. I never wanted children. I had no desire to be a mother. I panicked when the test came out positive. All I could think about was how big I was going to get. As the months went by, and the number on the scale kept getting bigger and bigger, I just could not wait to not be pregnant anymore. Everyone kept telling me that the 65 pounds I gained would just fall off, because my son is my first. I was one of the lucky ones who did not get one single stretch mark. However, I got an ass full of cellulite, as well as cottage cheese thighs. I noticed cellulite on my calves too. What gives! Anyway.. Two weeks postpartum I stepped on the scale, and noticed that I had lost 30 pounds, and I was at 205 pounds. So, I was hopeful that what everyone said about the weight falling off was true. Lies. I am now nearly 6 months PP, and am just now starting to lose weight. I am at 192.5 today. It isn’t because I am exercising, or watching what I eat. It is because I just flat out, do not eat. I eat only when my boyfriend is around, and very little at that. This is where the problem starts. All I can think about, is how disgusting my body is. Never mind that it carried, grew, nourished, and nurtured an absolutely adorable, funny, amazing baby. That just does not impress me. Pregnancy destroyed my body. Not just my skin, but my hair, teeth, and nails. Everything about me just absolutely repulses me. I found out my boyfriend was visiting a website that promotes teenage porn. He says that he didn’t know that the girls were underage, but it is QUITE obvious. He was viewing videos of girls masturbating. Which, has made me feel even worse. He has apologized incredibly, and vows to never view porn all together. Which, I don’t know if I believe him. He says that he only wants me, but my warped mind can’t help but think that if this were true, then why does he feel he needs to watch videos of 17 year olds shoving dildos in their vaginas? Might I also add that he made an account with a questionable website where he tried to view live webcams of girls masturbating. Let me make this clear. Pre-pregnancy, I had NO PROBLEM with porn. I watched it, we watched it together, and I had no problem with him watching it. I’m just incredibly insecure now, and am in a very fragile state. I can’t even watch a television show that has pretty women in it with him, or even by myself for that matter, because it makes me very uncomfortable, and all I can think about is how much my body disgusts me. I know that my train of thought is fucking ridiculous, and that “I’m beautiful no matter what,” but how do I make myself believe that? I just so badly want to be OKAY with myself. I constantly beat myself up. I cry every day. I can’t even look in the mirror without thinking how ugly I am. I was so vivacious, optimistic, fun, and bubbly before I got pregnant, and now I feel like nobody wants to be around me because I am such a drag. I fear that my new found pessimism will drive my boyfriend away. I feel like I am no fun. I can’t go a whole day without being in a bad mood. No matter how hard I try to just be OPTIMISTIC, something happens that just destroys that. My moods are like a light switch. I tried anti-depression medicine, but it did not help. I tried talking to family and friends, and they all said the same shit, “You’re beautiful no matter what.” Frankly, I’m sick of hearing that. I need someone who can whole heartedly relate to me, who has gotten over their funk, to give me advice on how to get over this state of sadness and evilness. I want to feel like ME again. I want to be able to go to the store with my boyfriend, without feeling like he is comparing me to every single woman there, thinking “I wish she looked like that.” I have no idea how to change this, but it needs done. I want to believe my boyfriend when he tells me, several times a day, how beautiful I am. I want to feel NORMAL.

Oh, and might i add, that my baby boy is my most proud achievement. When ever he smiles at me, I can’t help but get a huge smile. He is the only thing that is getting me through life right now. Please help me. I need a strangers advice <3 ~Age: 29 ~Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregnancy, 1 birth ~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 5 months, and 5 months pp [gallery]

Still on my way to accepting myself. (Melanie)

Bonnie (SOAM) Abortion/Life after Abortion, Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Tattoo 12 Comments

Age: 28
2 pregnancies, 1 birth
my son is 16 month old

When I met the father of my child I was 26 and we both knew instantly that THIS IS IT! We were what we’re always looking for and one month after we became a couple I became pregnant. It was no accident, but we should have thought about it more carefully. We were so desperately in love, we thought being a “real” family is the best we could do. From my todays point of view I’m sad that we didn’t think about it for some more time. From the very beginning we were “three”, and I sometimes wish I could have him just for myself. Just hanging out with him, going out, getting to know him, etc. But what to do.

That was also the reason why I had a really hard time to accept there was some”thing” inside of me. For the first half of the pregnancy I just felt like an incubator for some kind of aggressive alien, that wants to eat me from the inside. When we got to know the gender of the child and then FINALLY found a boys name it was somehow easier to accept – this “thing” inside became a “someone” with a name.
My husband-to-be is amazing, alltime caring and supporting and very understanding. He beared all my doubts and hopelessness, trying to be the best partner one can be. This year we will marry and it just took so much time because I want to have some champagne at my own wedding, and you know I couldn’t so far. :)

We had to wait pretty long for the little man to come, he was 10 days late when we decided to induce labour. It took almost an entire day, without any painkillers etc., all natural. I gave birth to a four kilo boy.

Today this boy is almost 16 months old, very active and healthy, with a strong will. It took some time for me to be able to accept and love this child, due to some problems with postpartum depression and other things. He was and still is very lively and I think everyone has to get used to the fact not to be able to go on living his own life the way he did before. I still struggle with that every day, but there are more and more moments every day when I’m so proud of this charming little troll or when I think how nice it is to have this family. Yeah, maybe I’m just a spoiled brat. The first six months I had to carry him all day, or lie down on the couch next to him. All day! I almost went crazy. He couldn’t sleep alone, started screaming instantly when I just got up to go to the toilet. Honestly? I’m so happy that this phase is over now. I’m about to get my old self back, and that feels so good.

When the boy was about six months old I accidently became pregant again. That was a shock for us. We actually want a second child – but not like this. I wouldn’t have managed. I was about to emigrate to my boyfriends home country, my son was the most exhausting thing in the world, there was absolutely no time for a second child. It wasn’t an easy decision, but in the end I had an abortion. I’m so sorry for this little one, maybe it was the girl we would wanna have, but I still think it was the best decision for all of us. I don’t want to be too overstrained to give my boyfriend the love he deserves and to ruin our relationship with that. You see, I’m no supermommy and whatever I do I will never be, I can just give my best. I have no idea how those “mothers of seven” manage to be able to breathe in their daily life. But well, everyone is different I guess. I have to find my own way to deal with that.

My boyfriend still loves my body, though I don’t really know why. It was also not perfect before and I don’t mind the stretch marks I have now (tits, thighs, belly). There are three to four kilo I just don’t manage to lose, though I was also not happy with my weight before my child. But what really annoys me is my tits. They also weren’t big or well-shaped before, but now they are just small, sagging bags, they look shriveled and poor. The only good thing: they were always very milk-productive (I never had any problems with nursing) and my wonderful body gave me nipples before my son was born, I didn’t have any in the past. :)

I still can’t really accept my body so far, but I also couldn’t before, and I know I have to do something about it. I’m aware of the fact that I look like a normal woman, but that’s such a taboo, no one ever talks about that. So this site is great and it will hopefully help me and others. I KNOW that my body is amazing, I grew a child inside, gave birth to it, nursed it. Female bodies are perfect and wonderful!

1 + 2 my body in the past (23 and 25 years old) both taken by myself, just so you know
3 – 6 situation today
7 21st week
8 35th week
9 birthday of my son
10 I had such monster tits in the beginning!
11 our little dude today!

(I’m sorry if I sometimes don’t express myself in a super correct way, I’m no native speaker.)

Smokin’ Hot (Katie)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Child Loss, Four or More Pregnancies, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Surgical Scar (Non-Cesarean) 18 Comments

Smokin’ Hot! (Katie)

Age: 36
Pregnancies/births: 11/3 (8 miscarriages)
Ages of children: 4.5, 2, 2 weeks

My son is two weeks old today, and as I was about to get in the shower (yay, shower!), I saw myself in the mirror and thought, I am smokin’ hot! I should submit pics to SOAM! So I got my eyepod and took a couple of pics. Don’t think I don’t have stretch marks; I just don’t have any from pregnancy, which given my losses, makes me sad. All 3 of my children were born by spontaneous, unmedicated vaginal birth. The scar on my belly is from the burst appendix I had at 20.

Photos are my henna belly at 37w4d and front and side views 2 weeks postpartum.

Second Pregnancy, Trying to Avoid the Mistakes – Update (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Child Loss, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 4 Comments

Previous entry here.

My age: 25
Number of pregnancies and births: 3 pregnancies, 1 birth
I have a 2 year old son and I am currently 23 weeks pregnant.

Technically this is my third pregnancy since the second one ended after 9 weeks in a miscarriage, but I refer to it as my second pregnancy because it’s the second baby I’m gonna have.
After my miscarriage in July 2012 I became pregnant again immediately and I am currently 23 weeks along.
Everything is looking perfect this time and at the last ultrasound we were told that we are having another boy! I know this is a horrible thing to say, but at the first moment I was a little bit disappointed, somehow I had thought that it was a girl this time. Fortunately these negative feelings vanished and I can honestly look forward to welcoming this little boy in our lives!

With this pregnancy I started showing very early and I am wearing maternity clothes since I’ve been 12 weeks along. As I wrote in my last entry, it took me a long time to accept the changes my body went through with the first pregnancy, so I do my best to not become as huge as I did the last time. You can call me shallow or vain and I know that there are many things way more important than my physical appearance, but I also know how unhappy I become if I don’t feel comfortable in my own skin.

I don’t go to the gym as often as I want to, only once or twice a week, because I work, I study and I have a 2 yr old to take care of.
I try to eat healthy most times, but I developed an immense sweet tooth with this pregnancy and sometimes I give in to my cravings.
I have gained 4kgs (nearly 9lbs) so far, which is more than I wanted to have at this point but still better than in my first pregnancy.
I have bought maternity jeans in the smallest size available and aim to wear them till the end.
And I also use every cream, lotion and oil I can find although I know that probably doesn’t help anything.

So although I know that chances are not very good since I already got stretchmarks with my rather small first pregnancy bump, I’m still hoping and working for a body that I can feel fine with postpartum.

Pictures:
#1: only 11 weeks along!
#2 – #4: 23 weeks (the last one is not very good, I included it because the stretchmarks are really obvious here)
All stretchmarks from first pregnancy.

Ashamed of my body, love the outcome! (Tiffany)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Plus-Sized Mom, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 15 Comments

Although I’ve always been a little on the thick side, I never imagined myself being the size I am now and being so ashamed of myself! My partner is very supportive and says she loves my body either way, I’m just very unhappy in it! I gained 60+ pounds while pregnant and now my stomach hangs! I just feel so disgusting! How can I lose this baby weight?

19/1 child/ 3 months old/ 3 months postpartum/natural birth
First one is pre pregnancy, last two is 3 months postpartum. Final picture is my beautiful babyboy

My Stretch Mark Journey (Toni)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 2 Comments

Age: 25
Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregnancy/ 1 birth
The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 5 months pp

Original post here.

Last time I posted I was 32 weeks pregnant and I was just starting to get my first stretch marks. I honestly cried hysterically when I found them, but decided to put all of my negative emotions aside and tried to focus on the fact that I was soon going to be a mummy. By 39 weeks I had put on 13 kilograms (approx 28pounds), which I was absolutely ok with and a lot of people would tell me that I was carrying small for my gestation (they were all just trying to be nice, I’m sure). I had plenty of stretch marks on the day I gave birth (39+3 weeks) but after my labour and meeting my beautiful daughter, they were the least of my concern.

Just to give you a brief run down of my labour- I was registered to give Birth in the ‘Birth Centre’. This area has a natural birth mentality and they don’t offer drugs for pain relief, they instead have a bath for water births and assist you through breathing etc. So my only ‘plan’ was for my labour to be as unassisted as possible. After 5 hours of pushing, my contractions stopped and my baby’s heart rate had increased, she was also stuck sideways and not moving down, so they decided to intervene. Vacuum failed 3 times and I was moved in for an emergency c-sec. By this time however, she had moved too far down, so they decided on the use of forceps even though there was risk of brain damage and facial disfigurement because of her being an in incorrect position for vaginal delivery. She was born at 4:58pm on August 4th 2012 and taken to Special Care for respiratory issues and a Hematoma.

Approximately 4 days after giving birth, I had lost the 13 kgs and I was absolutely fine with my post baby body- I was honestly just happy to finally have my baby out of Special Care and be given the all clear by the Pediatricians! It wasn’t until about 7 or 8 weeks post partum that I realised my stretch marks were getting WORSE. I didn’t think it was possible and thought they were suppose to fade, but each day they were getting higher and redder as my tummy retracted! I was horrified. By 3 1/2 months pp, the stretch marks started to fade slightly on their own and although I was still upset by them, I knew they would continue to get better. At 4 months pp I started applying Strivectin SD cream twice daily, as I had read an article on how great it was for stretch marks and found some on sale discounted by 80%. I have been using this cream now for 3 weeks and I think the results are AMAZING! The marks are definitely still there, but they no longer feel deep and they’ve faded to a silvery white so quickly.

If you are worried about your stretch marks, I promise you THEY WILL GET BETTER! To put things into perspective, the most important thing is the beautiful little human you have created is happy and healthy. So as hard as it is, if you are pregnant, don’t focus on what the outside of your tummy looks like, and just enjoy what’s happening on the inside. And once you have your precious little treasure in your arms, spend as much time loving your miracle and loving your body for creating them!

Thanks for reading. Toni Xox

Pictures;
37 weeks pregnant
7 weeks pp (very red stretchies)
3 mths pp (yellow pants)
now 5 mths pp (pink shorts)

First Time Mommy (Mrs. Roussell)

Bonnie (SOAM) African American, Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 15 Comments

Age: 23
Number of Children:1 4wks Pp

Im so glad I found this website!! I was 124lb 5″1 before I got pregnant..I loved my body and so did my husband which why I got pregnant lol…I was 160lbs and gave birth at 39wks.. Only one of my friends (age 23) has kids (2 girls) and only one immediate family members has 1 son, so I looked at them to see what my body would look like after having my son..my friend and I was pregnant at the same time.. we were 3 months apart.. 2 weeks after she had her daughter she looked like a freaking model!!!!! Big booty, nice boobs and a FLAT tummy!!! My family member is 3 yrs pp so I looked at her body since we are related I assumed my body would look similar after I had my son WRONG!! She looked like a thicker Model!!! Im so insecure about my body.. I wear big shirts and sweats around the house and refuse to let my husband touch my stomach no mater how many times he calls me beautiful or sexy I just dont see it…and the media doesn’t help..I see moms on tv and they look great example Heidi klum (i swear that women is a pure freak of nature lol) but needless to say seeing the images on this website has bought my self confidence from a 1 to a strong 2.5 lol but I so happy this website exist for moms to share :-)

1st picture: before pregnancy
2nd 9 months pregnant
3rd 3 weeks pp
4th and 5th 4 weeks pp.

Updated here.

Feeling Happy With My Post-Baby Bod (Hannah)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 3 Comments

22 years old, one pregnancy and one birth via emergency c section.
6 week old baby boy :)

This is just a short story of my birth as the pictures I want women to see then to show how a real 22 year old average body is and no one is perfect so just enjoy your baby and be happy!

I went into hospital because I was 10 days over and my body just wouldn’t go into labour, I had over ten membrane sweeps and three gels put in.. I only dilated half a centimetre by that point.. On the 14 day overdue I was took down to the labour ward and put on the drip I was in labour for 15 hours the highest dosage until I finally had my last check and I had only dilated 2cm I literally felt like he’d never ever come out I just knew I would need a c section so I agreed to get the epidural and a few hours later was wheeled down to the theatre for my emergency c section.. 11.30am on 13.12.2012 my little boy was born!

The day after his birth I was able to get up and have a shower.. My first glance at my body after having a baby took out scared me but I took a peek.. Omg I still looked 9 months pregnant!

I’m glad my belly has sort of gone back to normal I’m still in the same sized clothes I’ve always been in but I just have a over hang which I hate I can’t wait to exercise as my weight loss is just breastfeeding and I’ve stuffed myself on choccy because its Christmas time!

I just want women to know, love your body your stretch marks.. Every girl has them even without a baby!

The first picture is me 16 weeks pregnant as I didn’t have one of my belly not pregnant! The second is me 41 weeks pregnant, the third is 2 weeks after my c section, the fourth is me 4 weeks after and the fifth is me today 6 weeks post c section! xx

Mommy Belly (Brittany)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 9 Comments

I had my son on November 4th 2009. I love him to death but I am so depressed over what has happened to my stomach. I was underweight when I got pregnant. At 19 and 5’5 I was 119. For Atleast the last year I have been stuck at 127-133. I just can’t seem to shake of this extra weight and skin and it makes me want to cry everyday. I can look skinny in a shirt but when sitting or bendig over I get the rolls and I can’t stand it.now I’m sure you think that someone who hates their body would workout. Well I don’t so I hope that is my only down fall. I cut out as much sugar as possible (besides sweetener in my coffee every couple days or the occasional treat) and I started speed walking/jogging Atleast 30 minutes a day but no change yet. I tried doing insanity for a week over the summer but it was too insanely (haha) hot in California for such activities if you don’t want to blast the Ac. I am newly engaged to a wonderful man and even though he says he thinks I’m perfect I can’t help but feel even worse about my body because I think he deserves someone with a flat stomach that doesn’t sag when I do anything but stand or lay down :(

Fit Mommy of Two (Janessa)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 12 Comments

I am 27 years old and the proud mother of two sons, ages 1 and 3. They are 19 months apart so my body didn’t have much time to recover before getting pregnant the second time. I have always been into fitness but my weight did fluctuat during my pregnancy. My last pregnancy really stretched the skin on my lower abdomen and I hate my stomach. I obsess over it but I came to the conclusion that my skin is stretched out and no amount of exercise will fix it- I would need a tummy tuck. But then I look at my progress and I am pleased with everything except for the extra skin. I don’t know if it is worth getting a tummy tuck but I am tired of hiding my stomach that I work so hard for under clothes. I can’t wear a bikini because my stomach looks like an old women’s stomach. Am I being too vain? I just want to feel sexy and be sexy for my husband. He adores me and is not concerned with it but I am. I would love to hear some responses from other mothers regarding my situation. Thank you so much in advance.

Sincerely,

Janessa (Fit Mommy of 2)