Before Pregnancy

My Story (Katyy)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom 7 Comments

It was January 2012 and I was ready, this was my year. New boyfriend who i absolutely adored, 18 this year! finally finishing year 12,the ball, leavers and a holiday to Bali, what more could go wrong…?

I was defiantly in love with Scott the first time we meet he managed to crash a car with me in it and we some how survived it rolled into a tree and yet I still stand here today so we both knew for a fact we were meant to be, surviving something like that!

Before I met Scott I had a few boyfriends but nothing serious, he was the one I would choose to give my virginity. Time went on and we grew so ever close and before you knew it we were as close as you could be. On January the 15th I received a somewhat horrifying facebook message that one of my best friends had committed suicide, I didn’t know what to do or how to feel or how I would cope without the girl who had kept me strong through all my problems. Yet did I know I hadn’t been through anything yet.
One night Scott took me to the most loveliest restaurant In perth it is rotating and you sit and eat a meal.I started to feel very queezy during my dinner, I hadn’t got my period yet I was little worried as I was a couple of days late and was always on time so decided to take one tomorrow morning. A pregnancy test.

I locked my self in the bathroom, and waited one line and then it seemed a second one was showing… I smacked myself in the head a couple of times to make sure I wasn’t dreaming…

“Scott” I screamed in a horrified voice and he knew straight away I ran out the door and down to the park he came running after me ” where’s a tree i can’t do this I need to be with Kim” he calmed me down and drove me to the beach. After talking and thinking we decided this was it, we made this mess and now we have to clean it up and do what is right. Once our parents knew they were furious, Scott mum having her first and 19 was devastated because she never ever wanted her kids to go through what she had too, my mum was just speechless.

I decided I would do this the hardest way possible because I deserved to be punished for what an idiot I had been.
I was going to walk around school until I was 8.5 months pregnant and graduate.

Everyday was a struggle I tell you that, having over 1000 kids staring at you all day and having no friends, it was hard all my friends didn’t want to know me and if they did it was to get gossip out of me. I was alone. But it was my fault because I pushed everyone away. I had a terrible pregnancy I gained over 30kg and vomited all day everyday. But school was good for me it made the pregnancy go fast and I was glad I accomplished it. At 38 weeks they wanted to induce me because they said baby was too big, I ended up leaving the next morning because bubs just wasn’t budging and I had been pushed too far she was even near my cervix!
But after being a week late a c section would be the answer,

At 8.49am on the 30th of October 2012 my precious bubby lily Kate Cornell entered the world a whopping 9.11p!! She was gorgeous, she was perfect and it had all been worth it.

About a month later it was time to graduate,
I walked up the stage with lily in my arms, grabbed my certificate and the applause and cheering nearly broke my heart, there were so many people out there who were proud of me, it felt amazing. I had done my job. It was time to be a mum.
The past year of my life is been nothing what I thought it would be, I am a changed person and i believe I am a fabulous mum because I will do anything and everything for lily I will give her my last cent.

I believe in taking what life throws at you and making the absolute best of it because if you can’t enjoy life what is the point,
Today I wake up to a gorgeous daughter and my wonderful boyfriend,

Honestly I can’t believe it, but hey what’s the fun in a predictable life???
K xoxo

Seeing the Beauty in My Body (Joanna)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 5 Comments

Your Age: 22
Number of pregnancies and births: 1
The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 3 months

I got pregnant when I was 21 years old. Not a teen mother, but still young enough to get the occasional stare. My pregnancy was perfect as far as the doctors said, however, psychologically I was a wreck. I have never been a skinny girl, but I was never “overweight” either. But I was absolutely terrified of gaining weight. Every single pound I gained felt like a dagger. I dreaded hopping up on the scale at my weekly OBGYN appointments. I even ended up counting calories, and refused to eat anything besides salad, toast, and the occasional bowl of cereal. I still managed to gain 45 pounds. I came across this site when I googled “pregnant and depressed about weight gain”, and to be honest, it terrified me even more. Seeing what women look like post-partum just made me feel worse. For some reason, I felt like my body defined who I was. I ended up getting my first stretch marks around 28 weeks. Again, I was stressing and obsessing over my appearance. I felt horrible. I refused to look in a mirror and would even tell my boyfriend to “shut up” when he tried to call me beautiful.

I gave birth to my daughter at 39 weeks and 3 days on December 18th, 2012. She was 7 pounds 15 ounces and absolutely beautiful. However, I didn’t get the immediate bond that I constantly heard mothers talk about. I was shell-shocked. I went from being a 21 year old girl to a mother in hours. I couldn’t take it all in. I remember spending my first night in the hospital crying because I was terrified of this little human being that I was now responsible for. I didn’t change a single diaper during my stay at the hospital, didn’t give her a bath, didn’t cuddle with her. I would simply breastfeed her and hand her to visitors or her father. My brain wasn’t able to process what was happening. The day we came home from the hospital I was terrified. I didn’t know what to do. I was in pure survival-mode (for myself AND my daughter), and I ended up losing 25 pounds in 2 weeks because I was so depressed and STILL in shock that I would literally forget to eat. I was slowly slipping into postpartum depression. Add hormones and sleep deprivation to the mix and I was a wreck. I cried every chance I got. I felt as if my life was over. My stomach was saggy and loose and covered with stretch marks. I felt disgusting

It wasn’t until my daughter was about 2 months old that I began to feel better. She became more interactive, she started smiling when she saw me, and I fell in love. My body was slowly turning back to normal. I remember hearing women say that once your baby’s born you won’t care about the stretch marks as much. I understand what they meant now. These marks represent everything I went through and my own personal battles. They represent the love I have for my daughter. They represent everything a mother is about. Sacrificing (in this case, your body and beauty) for your children. Looking back at my pregnancy, I really wish I enjoyed it more. I now realize there are few things more beautiful than a pregnant woman and a mother. You are carrying and growing a LIFE inside of you. What can possibly be more beautiful than that?

I have a new-found respect for mothers. All mothers. Single, married, young, and old. You are absolutely amazing. You are beautiful in my eyes. If you’re worried about your stretch marks, just remember what they stand for. If you are worried they will make you less attractive to your significant other, don’t be. If he/she truly loves you, they will see the beauty in them. If you’re pregnant right now and feeling ugly, fat, or unattractive, just remember that you’re doing something amazing. You have life inside of you.

I just want to end this by saying that whether you’re pregnant or you’re in the postpartum stage, embrace your body and appreciate it for bringing life into this world. You are beautiful. We are all beautiful.

The first photo is me before I got pregnant.
Second and third are me at 38 weeks pregnant.
Forth, fifth and sixth are me 3 months postpartum.
The last four are of my daughter

From a good-looking girl to a zebra mom. (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Hair Loss, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 12 Comments

Hello ladies! First of all, my first language in not English so if I write something wrong please forgive me :)
I am 22 years old, got pregnant when I was 21. All in my life I was slim and good looking (thats what others said) 50kg, 162cm with long dark hair.

By the time I was 9 months pregnant I was 69kg… +19kg!!!
My pregnancy started with horrible morning sickness but other than that I was fine.
Except my hair… my hair started to dry out and fall out.
People told me it happens sometimes because baby takes everything of me.
I was a little bit sad because of my hair but I still didnt know thats just the last thing I have to worry about.
We found out we are having a baby girl , we were so excited and happy. I stopped working when I was 8 months pregnant.
My belly was beautiful and the skin was smooth and perfect even when I was 35 weeks…
People told me Im so lucky , I havent got any strech marks at all…
I always did care about my skin a lot, when I found out Im pregnant, I bought a bottle of strech mark oil from Boots straight away…
and I used it every single day. When I passed 35 weeks, my belly started to itch more and more every day.
One day I woke up with a few red and painful lines on my tummy.
And they just got bigger and bigger all around my hips, boobs, legs.
By the time I was 9 months pregnant, I couldnt even wear any top because my skin was so painful and itchy, it was horrible…
I gave a natural birth at week 41 to our gorgeous baby girl in the beggining of December 2012
She was 3.5kg and 51cm. We came home and the new life is started… :)
Everything was fine and my partner was so happy and proud… happy happy happy end…?
Not really…. I gave birth 3 months ago and I ve gone back from 69kg to 61 in december.. and I just put 4kg back on in the past 2 months so Im 65 again…
My skin just totally demaged, reminds me to a Zebra…My hair is still not growing and dry like a brush…. it puts me down so much I dont know how to accept myself. I keep saying this to people around me
and they all trying to cheer me up but thats never gonna help, I would do anything to get my skin back. I feel terrible , I would cry every single day If I would be on my own.
Im never gonna be confident and never gonna like the girl in the mirror again. It effects my love life as well because Im just hiding myselft constantly.
Im using BIO-OIL from the day I gave birth,dont think its gonna make a big difference but anyway… at least something…

By the way, I just want to say thank you for people who read my story and I wish all the best for all of you!
I hope we all gonna find the way to love ourself again.

Number of pregnancies and births: First Pregnancy

pre-pregnancy photo
photo-week 24.
photo-week 30.
photo- week 34.
photo-week 35.
photo-week 39.
and the last 3 photos are just now, 3 moths after the birth.

Trapped in Someone Else’s Body (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 7 Comments

Age: 24

I just had my first (and last) child on September. I had a scheduled c-section. He was 10lbs and 2oz when he was born. I am only 5’1” and before I got pregnant I was only 95lbs. The day I went into the hospital I was 149lbs!!!! Mostly, water and one giant baby, but still huge all the same. I really didn’t gain weight anywhere else except my stomach during my pregnancy and the skin was still stretched tight up til he was born. I didn’t really have many stretch marks either til the last month and they really made up for lost time. I lost almost all the weight without dietary change or exercise right off the bat and then just completely plateaued right after that initial loss. I breast fed for the first three months til I couldn’t anymore. I still don’t know what happened. I was overproducing and then it just stopped coming out creamy and in then needed amounts. My breasts seemed to immediately shrivel up right after that. I was always about a 32D and a full DD when I was breast feeding and now they are just these tiny droopy pancake boobs that make me cringe when I see them in the mirror. In fact, seeing any part of my naked body anymore legitimately makes my skin crawl. I feel like there is no hope for any kind of salvage to my body anymore and my stomach is just going to look like a leather handbag forever. Did I screw myself because I didn’t exercise from the beginning? Is there really any nonsurgical way I can get rid of this disgusting extra skin? I am usually hovering between 105 and 110, so not overweight I guess, but you couldn’t tell. I’ve been going to the gym when I can and doing five miles on the elliptical or 1 mile on the treadmill and it doesn’t seem to be making any difference. Even carrying around my now more than 20lb son doesn’t seem to help. My stomach is still saggy and sticking out further than my breasts. I am just morbidly depressed about the state of my body and go out of my way to avoid letting anyone see it because of my extreme embarrassment I know pregnancy changes your body, but no one else seems to be nearly this far gone. Anyway, any insight on any of this would be tremendously helpful. I seriously am just so lost and depressed and don’t know where to go from here.

Photo: Year before pregnancy/ 4 days before Cesarean/ 5 months postpartum.
Photo 2: Adrian. (3 months old)

Uncomfortable in My Skin (Kel)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, Child Loss, Four or More Pregnancies, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 6 Comments

Age: 34
Pregnancies/Births: 5/3
Time PP: 25months
Ages of Children: 5 1/2 years, 4 years and 25motnhs

I am an Aussie stay at home mum of three beautiful bright, perfect and healthy children. They light up my life and I adore them all. I also have an amazing husband. We have been with each other for almost 15 years. He rocks my world.

Our journey to parenthood began unexpectedly. Four months after being with my (then boyfriend, now my hubby!), I accidentally fell pregnant at 19 when the condom broke and he didn’t tell me, because he wasn’t aware of the morning after pill! I didn’t find out I was pregnant until I was about 12 weeks along (my hubby was away in the armed forces during this time), because I had been having spotting and cramps like I was having a light period.

My boyfriend came home after 12 weeks deployment, and I was still spotting and cramping. I thought it wasn’t normal and I told him I was worried something was wrong with me. He then told me what happened and I could be pregnant. So I did a test, and hey presto, I was expecting! I had cramping and bleeding on and off for the duration of the pregnancy and as a result, I quit my course I was studying because it was our testing and assessment period at the time and to try to be a bit more relaxed and to help my baby grow I thought it best to quit. Sadly, our baby was not to be, and at 17 weeks we found out we had lost our little boy, who we named Joshua. I was terribly devastated, despite this pregnancy being such a surprise, I was desperate to be a mum, and have wanted to be one since I was tiny myself.

After being induced and giving birth, I was fairly sick. I ended up hemorrhaging badly around 3 weeks after giving birth, due to retained products of pregnancy, I had several blood transfusions but I was still weak. I was very sick and was in hospital for the first time in my life, without my partner, who was once again overseas on deployment. I was young and scared and broken. I was (what I now realise), suffering with Post Natal Depression (PND). I gained some weight, about 7-ish kilos (15 pounds). I was sick for a long time after losing so much blood, and had to had iron infusions and just couldn’t do things because I was so weak. Working and school just weren’t options. I slowly got well again, with the support of my partner and mum.

After our first loss, my partner and I were much stronger as a couple. We got married and moved in together and lived a wonderful life doing the things young people do, whilst we were young and before we really started trying to have a family. When we were 27 (after being together for 8 years and married for 4), we decided it was the time in our life to start a family, so we started trying for a baby. I was a little worried and stressed out about it, and terrified of losing another baby. We fell pregnant after about 4 months of trying. We were ecstatic but cautious. Work was stressful for me at this time. I was also studying at university and we were looking at buying a home. My partner was only working part time and also studying at university.

Sadly again, this baby was not meant to be. At 11 weeks we found out I had lost the baby again. Another little boy. All testing and medicals came back as being normal, there was no explanation as to why I was losing our babies. After this we put off trying for another baby for several months. But it consumed me. All I wanted was a child with my husband. I was so sad and down. Through my depression, yet again I gained some more weight (and hadn’t lost the weight I gained before) about another 5-6 kilos (12 pounds) was added to my little 164 cm (5’4”) frame.

Six months or so passed, and hubby and I decided we would try again. We didn’t fall pregnant for about 6 months. I was so petrified I would not be able to have children. When we finally did fall pregnant again, I was scared. Particularly when I started spotting again. I was fraught with fear of losing my baby again. At work I took on a lesser position with less stress. I put my uni course on hold and just tried to relax in general. I had early ultra sounds and tests every few weeks to make sure my hormones were doing what they should when pregnant.

And they did. Thank goodness, this baby was a sticky one. My belly grew and I loved being pregnant. I didn’t suffer from the worse types of pregnancy ailments. No morning sickness or other illnesses. Just a bit of heartburn and pain in my back, I enjoyed this pregnancy. Finally I had my beautiful rainbow baby and she was stunning. The most beautiful little girl I had ever seen. We were smitten. But she was a difficult baby. I had a bit of birth trauma after a long, induced birth, as well as having post postpartum hemorrhage and needing blood transfusions. I had difficulty breastfeeding. I now suspect my daughter had reflux. She didn’t sleep much, woke often and was hard to settle. She was partially breastfed and bottle fed, and I was pumping and doing bottles, and trying desperately to get her fully breast fed, though that never happened. There were lots of tears from both of us through the first 6 months of her life.

I was having issues with how my body had changed with pregnancy. My husband and I were going through a lot within our marriage trying to sort out how to be a family of 3. I hadn’t gained much weight during pregnancy and actually weighed less after birth than I did pre pregnancy. But now I was gaining more weight I was now around 80kg (176 pounds). I hated myself, I wasn’t as good at being a mum as I thought I would be. I was doing it tough, and again, in hind sight I realise I was suffering with PND.

It was around Christmas time, 7 months after I gave birth to our gorgeous daughter. I would be returning to part time work and University in the new year. Then I found out I was pregnant. Merry Christmas!! Whist my husband and I wanted more children, we were planning on waiting until I had finished uni and he had settled into his new job and just when life was more settled in general. But clearly the universe had other plans for us.

This pregnancy was easy early on. I had none of the bleeding or cramping I had with my previous pregnancies. Which was great, since I had to throw myself back into work and studying, as well as now being a mummy. Our daughter was becoming easier to care for. She was sleeping better, and was becoming an absolute joy to parent. Until about 6 months into the pregnancy, that is.

Sadly, I started really struggling within myself again. A doctor diagnosed AND/PND (ante natal/post natal depression) he told me I needed to sleep better and relax more. What a laugh that was!! Things were getting tough to deal with again. I failed a subject at uni. Work was getting harder due to my size with the pregnancy (I am an early childhood teacher). I was huge this time. I had minor polyhydramniosis (excess fluid around the baby), plus he was a big baby, always measuring large at doctor appointments. I had back and pelvic issues (SPD and sciatica), I have severe reflux and later on got pretty bad odema (swelling) in my hands and feet.

Finally the time came to give birth again. I was determined to do it naturally this time, we hired a doula and I researched a lot. He was born at 4.2kg and 56.5cm long ( about 9p 4o, and 22 1/4 in), totally naturally. I had done it all by myself to day I was proud would be an understatement. His birth was amazing. He breastfed like a champion. This was all so much easier than when I had my daughter.

Unfortunately I was still suffering with depression. Our son was a very frequent feeder around 2 hourly day and night, and our daughter still woke 2-3 times a night. Though he wasn’t a difficult baby, feeding him 12+ times through the day and night as well as having a young toddler was taking it’s toll. My husband did odd hours at work, often working 12 + hours thought the night, then trying to sleep through the day. I wasn’t getting any support from family unless I literally begged them to take the kids. I was finding it hard to see anything in my life as being enjoyable. I gained more weight (another 5-6kg) and hated my body even more because of what another pregnancy with a lager baby did to me. My back and pelvis still ached even after giving birth and I had even more stretch marks, from my ribs down to my pubic bone. I have excess skin which will not go away even if I lose the weight.

When my son was 5 months old I had to return to part time. Finances were very tight. Life was a blur for me. I don’t remember a lot of my sons baby hood because I was struggling so much. I often wanted to just get away, driving in the car to work, I would fantasise about just keeping driving. Not stopping at work, or to pick up the kids. Just to drive into the sunset. There were a few moments during this time that I considered suicide. It was just all too much. So overwhelming.

My suicidal moments were fleeting, and usually when I had only had 3-4 hours sleep for weeks on end. But they were there. That was all in my head. I look back now and I am amazed how my husband and I did it. We did it together. There were times when we fought like cat and dog. When it was hard to support each other through it all because we were both suffering and struggling, but we did it. Through our hardest times and darkest hours we made it through. But we could see something had to change. This would be our life, struggling through every thing, only just making it week to week and not really enjoying anything, if we didn’t make a big change.

We decided we would go and live in the bush for a while with hubby’s job. We also talked about having another baby. With moving to the bush, we would be able to have another bub, and I would be a stay at home mum. So that is what we did. About 4 months after discussing it, I was pregnant and we were moving to a remote country town. Life got easier. For a while.

We moved 900km (a 9-ish hour drive) away from our loved ones and the familiarity of home. To a town 3 hour drive from any kind of civilisation, with around 3500 people. It was like a foreign country to us.

I started struggling again with the pregnancy. My back and pelvis started to play up fairly early on. By now, I was about 90kg (198pounds). So mixing being overweight, with being pregnant with another big baby boy and I was struggling to move very much at all. I had no friends and my children were bored and frustrated at home. During my last few months, I couldn’t do a lot with them, besides read books and watch movies. Thankfully I managed to get a place in childcare for one day a week.

I gave birth to another gorgeous little (big!) boy, again naturally and with my wonderful doula and hubby at my side. Unfortunately, I hemorrhaged again and required blood transfusions. My son ended up in special care nursery too, with intestinal issues. Breast feeding wasn’t off to a very good start this time. Thankfully, his tummy issues resolved themselves, and we managed to get breastfeeding fully again.

I had another frequent feeder, and again in hind sight, I think he also had silent reflux like his big sister. He was hard to settle at night in particular and it wasn’t unusual for me to be up with him for hours rocking and burping and trying desperately to settle him. My first son and daughter were also still waking at night, so yet again I was working on 4 or so hours of sleep a night. My husband was (and is!) wonderful and would often deal with the older children, though still had to work as well, so I tried my best to do it myself. Still suffering with PND, it was still tough, though I don’t think it ever got as hard as it did when son #1 was born.

I am happy to say now, that I am depression free. I still have bad days, but I can cope with that! My children are turning into wonderful, bright little people and my hasband and I are still going strong. I have started studying at uni again this year and hope to finally finish off my degree! I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have made amazing friends living out in the bush and have experienced a life I would never have had otherwise.

I still struggle with how I look though. I have never had a good body image. Sadly, I have always had an issue with myself. Sadly, because I was always fairly fit and healthy when I was younger. Now I have let myself go (far beyond the limits of what is ‘normal’) I am about 35-40 kilos (65-90-ish pounds) overweight. Before children I was around 63 kg (139 pounds), now I am about 97kg (214 pounds). Now I really do hate how I look. Now I realise how beautiful I really was. I have stretch marks from my ribs down to my pubic bone and around to my sides, I have over hanging skin. I also still have issues with my back, which I put down to being so over weight, unfit and inflexible. I am now trying to lose the weight. Slowly, but surely it will come off again. When it does, I plan on having plastic surgery to correct the skin issues. It will never go away on its own, I think it will just look even worse with the more weight I lose. I want to like how I look. One day I will.

Photos

1. After my first pregnancy (miscarriage at 17 weeks)
2. Around 6 months pregnant with each child
3. My babies
4. After son #1
5. Now

Every experience has its first. (Desiree Lynnette)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, PCOS, Pregnant, Submissions 3 Comments

I am 22 years old, 23 in October of this year. I am currently 26 weeks pregnant, and nothing could have prepared me for pregnancy. It has been an amazing, emotional, and at times miserable journey. When I found out that I was pregnant is was somewhat expected, but at the same time a pretty big shocker. I was diagnosed with PCOS at 17, which meant nothing to me at that time. I was 17, I didn’t really care that much is my period was random or that I couldn’t easily get pregnant. About a month before I got pregnant me and my wonderful fiance decided that although we weren’t ready to begin trying vigorously, we were still ready to make a commitment to a child to come into our lives and relationship. Coincidentally the Friday 5 days after our conversation I got pregnant. We took the test, and both of us were very happy to be bringing a child into our world. I was also very nervous and excited about the entire pregnancy experience up until the morning sickness came into play about 2 weeks after the positive test. I had morning (ALL DAY) sickness for the rest of the first trimester. It got so bad that I had to stop working because of how hard it was getting to be to work through it. Throwing up in a Wal-mart bathroom every 2-3 hours was not exactly my cup of tea, I am much happier now focusing on school work and resting my growing body. My fiance has done an amazing job supporting me and ensuring my comfort through out this entire process. One I hit the second trimester everything changed. My skin became extremely dried out, like alligator skin over here! My acne got out of control like crazy, and not just on my face! My boobs have grown from a B to nearly DD (I lost about 100 pounds about 2/3 years ago and went from a D to a B, so it’s not actually that foreign for me to have larger breast. Still crazy sore and painful though! I stopped throwing up (THANKFULLY!) and started eating so, so much! Pre-pregnancy I weighed only 115 at 5’5 and hardly ever had three meals a day, now I have at least four small meals! I now weigh 150 at 26 weeks, which my Dr. is happy with but I HATE!) I was very very happy with my body before, and I pretty much hate it right now. I am always tired, so I hardly ever (Ok, NEVER) workout. I am no longer working, so I pretty much sit around on the couch, cook dinner, and do school work everyday. I feel like the laziest person that ever lived. My body is killing me. I feel like my boobs and butt have gotten 5 times too large. My stomach is way to big! My skin is about as good as it was the year i hit puberty, and my over all physical self esteem is completely shot! I love being pregnant, and I love feeling my baby move around and kick me. I feel guilty sometimes about how down on my physical appearance I am. I always see pregnant woman and sites praising their pregnant bodies. To me it just seems abnormal and huge, especially after working so hard to have to look so good before I got pregnant! I hope that I am not the only pregnant woman that feels this way. Well, I am about to go into the third trimester and I know that it is going to be yet another adventure in this 9 month long never ending journey. I wanted to share my personal story of how it has been so far. From changes in medicine, to appearance, emotions, and self esteem; it’s been a long journey so far. I hope that in this last trimester I can learn to love this body a little bit more, and if not at least I am in the last stretch of this particular transformation. I don’t think I am very well prepared for postpartum body changes, but hopefully I can start shrinking again soon and get back to working our and taking care of my body. I can’t wait to hold this little boy that’s growing in there, and even though I hate the way it looks I hope he is nice a comfortable and happy inside my huge tummy! I love him with all my heart, it’s not like anything I have ever felt before. This first pregnancy has thrown a lot of curve balls at me, but I am happy to take it and keep learning in this first time experience. I know that including my son, I will gain a great amount from this experience. Far beyond what any other life experience could give me. Thank you for reading my story, I hope that you are all doing better than me with your body transformations!

Two pre-pregnancy photos and a few pregnancy pictures.

~Age: 22
~Number of pregnancies and births: First Pregnancy

Still on my way to accepting myself. (Melanie)

Bonnie (SOAM) Abortion/Life after Abortion, Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Tattoo 12 Comments

Age: 28
2 pregnancies, 1 birth
my son is 16 month old

When I met the father of my child I was 26 and we both knew instantly that THIS IS IT! We were what we’re always looking for and one month after we became a couple I became pregnant. It was no accident, but we should have thought about it more carefully. We were so desperately in love, we thought being a “real” family is the best we could do. From my todays point of view I’m sad that we didn’t think about it for some more time. From the very beginning we were “three”, and I sometimes wish I could have him just for myself. Just hanging out with him, going out, getting to know him, etc. But what to do.

That was also the reason why I had a really hard time to accept there was some”thing” inside of me. For the first half of the pregnancy I just felt like an incubator for some kind of aggressive alien, that wants to eat me from the inside. When we got to know the gender of the child and then FINALLY found a boys name it was somehow easier to accept – this “thing” inside became a “someone” with a name.
My husband-to-be is amazing, alltime caring and supporting and very understanding. He beared all my doubts and hopelessness, trying to be the best partner one can be. This year we will marry and it just took so much time because I want to have some champagne at my own wedding, and you know I couldn’t so far. :)

We had to wait pretty long for the little man to come, he was 10 days late when we decided to induce labour. It took almost an entire day, without any painkillers etc., all natural. I gave birth to a four kilo boy.

Today this boy is almost 16 months old, very active and healthy, with a strong will. It took some time for me to be able to accept and love this child, due to some problems with postpartum depression and other things. He was and still is very lively and I think everyone has to get used to the fact not to be able to go on living his own life the way he did before. I still struggle with that every day, but there are more and more moments every day when I’m so proud of this charming little troll or when I think how nice it is to have this family. Yeah, maybe I’m just a spoiled brat. The first six months I had to carry him all day, or lie down on the couch next to him. All day! I almost went crazy. He couldn’t sleep alone, started screaming instantly when I just got up to go to the toilet. Honestly? I’m so happy that this phase is over now. I’m about to get my old self back, and that feels so good.

When the boy was about six months old I accidently became pregant again. That was a shock for us. We actually want a second child – but not like this. I wouldn’t have managed. I was about to emigrate to my boyfriends home country, my son was the most exhausting thing in the world, there was absolutely no time for a second child. It wasn’t an easy decision, but in the end I had an abortion. I’m so sorry for this little one, maybe it was the girl we would wanna have, but I still think it was the best decision for all of us. I don’t want to be too overstrained to give my boyfriend the love he deserves and to ruin our relationship with that. You see, I’m no supermommy and whatever I do I will never be, I can just give my best. I have no idea how those “mothers of seven” manage to be able to breathe in their daily life. But well, everyone is different I guess. I have to find my own way to deal with that.

My boyfriend still loves my body, though I don’t really know why. It was also not perfect before and I don’t mind the stretch marks I have now (tits, thighs, belly). There are three to four kilo I just don’t manage to lose, though I was also not happy with my weight before my child. But what really annoys me is my tits. They also weren’t big or well-shaped before, but now they are just small, sagging bags, they look shriveled and poor. The only good thing: they were always very milk-productive (I never had any problems with nursing) and my wonderful body gave me nipples before my son was born, I didn’t have any in the past. :)

I still can’t really accept my body so far, but I also couldn’t before, and I know I have to do something about it. I’m aware of the fact that I look like a normal woman, but that’s such a taboo, no one ever talks about that. So this site is great and it will hopefully help me and others. I KNOW that my body is amazing, I grew a child inside, gave birth to it, nursed it. Female bodies are perfect and wonderful!

1 + 2 my body in the past (23 and 25 years old) both taken by myself, just so you know
3 – 6 situation today
7 21st week
8 35th week
9 birthday of my son
10 I had such monster tits in the beginning!
11 our little dude today!

(I’m sorry if I sometimes don’t express myself in a super correct way, I’m no native speaker.)

Ashamed of my body, love the outcome! (Tiffany)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Plus-Sized Mom, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 15 Comments

Although I’ve always been a little on the thick side, I never imagined myself being the size I am now and being so ashamed of myself! My partner is very supportive and says she loves my body either way, I’m just very unhappy in it! I gained 60+ pounds while pregnant and now my stomach hangs! I just feel so disgusting! How can I lose this baby weight?

19/1 child/ 3 months old/ 3 months postpartum/natural birth
First one is pre pregnancy, last two is 3 months postpartum. Final picture is my beautiful babyboy

First Time Mommy (Mrs. Roussell)

Bonnie (SOAM) African American, Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 15 Comments

Age: 23
Number of Children:1 4wks Pp

Im so glad I found this website!! I was 124lb 5″1 before I got pregnant..I loved my body and so did my husband which why I got pregnant lol…I was 160lbs and gave birth at 39wks.. Only one of my friends (age 23) has kids (2 girls) and only one immediate family members has 1 son, so I looked at them to see what my body would look like after having my son..my friend and I was pregnant at the same time.. we were 3 months apart.. 2 weeks after she had her daughter she looked like a freaking model!!!!! Big booty, nice boobs and a FLAT tummy!!! My family member is 3 yrs pp so I looked at her body since we are related I assumed my body would look similar after I had my son WRONG!! She looked like a thicker Model!!! Im so insecure about my body.. I wear big shirts and sweats around the house and refuse to let my husband touch my stomach no mater how many times he calls me beautiful or sexy I just dont see it…and the media doesn’t help..I see moms on tv and they look great example Heidi klum (i swear that women is a pure freak of nature lol) but needless to say seeing the images on this website has bought my self confidence from a 1 to a strong 2.5 lol but I so happy this website exist for moms to share :-)

1st picture: before pregnancy
2nd 9 months pregnant
3rd 3 weeks pp
4th and 5th 4 weeks pp.

Updated here.

Fit Mommy of Two (Janessa)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 12 Comments

I am 27 years old and the proud mother of two sons, ages 1 and 3. They are 19 months apart so my body didn’t have much time to recover before getting pregnant the second time. I have always been into fitness but my weight did fluctuat during my pregnancy. My last pregnancy really stretched the skin on my lower abdomen and I hate my stomach. I obsess over it but I came to the conclusion that my skin is stretched out and no amount of exercise will fix it- I would need a tummy tuck. But then I look at my progress and I am pleased with everything except for the extra skin. I don’t know if it is worth getting a tummy tuck but I am tired of hiding my stomach that I work so hard for under clothes. I can’t wear a bikini because my stomach looks like an old women’s stomach. Am I being too vain? I just want to feel sexy and be sexy for my husband. He adores me and is not concerned with it but I am. I would love to hear some responses from other mothers regarding my situation. Thank you so much in advance.

Sincerely,

Janessa (Fit Mommy of 2)