The Shape of a Mother

My first pregnancy, at 21, ended in an early miscarriage. I got pregnant with my first son a few months later. I started out around 135lbs and gained 35lbs with that pregnancy. My hips, bum, and thighs took a beating. With that pregnancy, my stomach had no stretch marks, but my thighs were a mess!!! I hadn’t lost the baby weight before getting pregnant with my second when my first was 10 months old. I was incredibly sick throughout my second pregnancy, vomitting from day one until the day I delivered. I only gained 24lbs with the second pregnancy. My thighs didn’t get any worse but I did end up with some new stretch marks on my stomach. My first son was born at 41 weeks weighing 8lbs 6ozs. My second was a big baby! He was 8lbs 12ozs, but more than 3 weeks early! My boys are 18 months and a few days apart. I sufferred from PPD after my first, and even worse with my second. The anti-depressants I was on caused me to gain a lot of weight, and in May 2006, I weighed more than I had at the end of either pregnancy. I’ve spent the last year trying to lose weight. I’ve lost 35lbs so far, but am still about 20lbs pregnancy weight. My youngest is 3 years old. I am a lot lighter now than I was when I got pregnant with him, but not as light as I was when I got pregnant with my first :). My stomach looks pretty good, and I have no problem in a bikini. But I have a hard time dealing with my saggy stretch-mark scarred thighs. Inner and outer thighs are really bad (as shown in picture). I’ve had a really hard time with my body image since having children. I look back at pictures of me on my honeymoon, in a bikini, and I remember how “fat” I thought I looked… at under 120lbs. I’ve had a hard time adjusting to my post-baby body. I’m not sure I ever will be able to completely accept it… but this site has really helped me feel better knowing I’m not alone :)

This is me 2 months after having my daughter. You can see my pregnant pictures here.

Having my son has brought me great Joy. Especially after 2 little girls. The way he changed me is for the better. I love my body more now that i have had him. I gained so much weight with him At 39weeks 4 days along I looked as though there was no way i could stretch any further. I had my son 3 days early and he was 9.6lbs and 21.5 inches long.

I was told that I may never have children. But regardless of what my doctors have said I felt different. I didn’t feel like I was myself, something had changed…“Pregnant” appeared on the little window. I felt instantly sick… that sickness lasted seven and a half months. I was diagnosed with hyper-emesis and was in the ER nearly every week, sometimes twice a week for IV fluids and compazine. The only woman I knew that had a terrible pregnancy was my mother and she died on Halloween 2004. She wasn’t there to help me get through it. The pregnancy was so awful I wanted to abort. On February 9, 2006 I found out I was having twins! Originally I had hoped for a boy and a girl (so I would never have to be pregnant again) however, I was delightfully blessed with twin boys. They were born via c-section, three weeks early on June 23, 2006. Baby A (Aidan James) weighed five pounds five ounces. Baby B (Nathaniel Lewis) weighed four pounds eight ounces. I did not get to see them after they were born- they were whisked away to be cleaned. Nathaniel was taken straight to the NICU. When I got back to my room I got to meet and hold Aidan. About ten minutes later he was also taken to the NICU because his respiratory rate was too fast. The doctor walked in and said that I had lost too much blood and that I was not allowed to get out of bed. I don’t recall much more after that as the pain medications were fantastic but I cried… and cried. I did not get to meet my little Nathaniel until the following evening. Over 24 hours later I was finally taken to see him and instantly fell in love. I was told that my boys would be in the NICU for “just a few days” which apparently really means two weeks for Nathaniel and three for Aidan! I did breast feed them both for the first month, but the stresses of the c-section, not being allowed to get out of bed and see my baby, the long days spent at the hospital visiting MY babies, going home empty handed every day made me extremely depressed. I couldn’t keep up with my milk production and became increasingly irritated by having to pump instead of bonding with my boys. Both babies were finally home on July 15, 2006. Although I haven’t been a mom for that long (time wise) I feel as though this is all I’ve done all my life. Being a mother is so incredibly natural for me that I don’t feel that having my boys has changed much of anything for me. I feel like they have always been with me. Below are some pictures… • The night before my C-section • A close up of my belly and the very painful stretch marks • My boys (the first time we were all together as a family) • My body now- after all the changes- weight gain of 40lbs AFTER the babies were born (11 months post-partum) • My beautiful boys now! I, by no means have anything that resembles a perfect body. I have been heavy since I was a child, and I am now at my heaviest. I view my stretch marks as the rhythm strip of life; proof of being a real woman; proof that my body did exactly what it was supposed to do. Don’t get me wrong, I still have days where I hate my body and wish I were just at my pre-pregnancy weight- but I would not, could not, trade this experience for anything. The hardest part for me in all this, was that my mother never got to see me get married (three months before I got pregnant), and never got to meet my boys. She would have loved them greatly.

I have had two children. Through both pregnancies I could not hardly eat, thus leaving me with little to no weight gain. My first pregnancy was six years ago and i developed alot of stretch marks on my stomach. I already had them on my breasts. With my second one (he is three months now) I didnt get any additional stretch marks. I gained a total of two lbs with my first son (calculated from first ob visit, to birth) and my second I lost three. My second pregnancy I developed a kidney stone in my sixth month. They placed a stent in, that could not be removed until after I delivered. Five days after delivery I went to have surgery to crush the stone and remove the stent. I had been on antibiotics my entire pregnancy because of recurrent urinary infections, thus leaving me waaayy more infected than the Dr.’s thought going into surgery. They crushed the initial problem stone, but could not remove the stent because my body had produced stones on the stent(because it had been in for too long), making it difficult to get the stent out at this facility. To make matters worse, when I awoke in recovery, I knew something was not right, as I had been through this many times…. I developed sepsis, infection had spread through my blood. I went into shock, my bp dropped to 30/12….. I should be dead… After a week and a half in the hospital, I was well enough to come home.. I could not walk more than a few steps because of being out in the hospital for so long… When I came home I still had the stent in and I also had a nephrostomy tube in my back ( a pee bag from my kidney)… I lost 30 lbs in a month and I finally got the stent out. I am trying to live life to the fullest, because I see now that it could be gone in an instant.

As a teen, I always struggled with my weight. My heaviest in high school was around 155 pounds, which is a lot sitting in my 5’0″ frame. I finally was able to shed the weight just after getting married, when I was 18. I never stepped on a scale, but I was able to fit a size three and had never been happier with my body. Just a few months later, I was pregnant with my first child. I began gaining weight right away, no problems. I was in denial about the pregnancy for the first few months. I didn’t take great care of my body and I ate anything and everything I could get my hands on. But I still hadn’t gained any stretchmarks. I remember looking through pregnancy photos online with a friend and being horrified. The photos were the same as what I’m seeing here and what I see in the mirror everyday now. I ignorantly thought at the time, that the stretchmarks were somehow the mother’s fault for not taking care of her body. That if you took care of yourself and rubbed magical cream on yourself everyday that you’d be able to return to your pre-baby belly and anything less what pure neglect. How naive and judgemental I was! I was around 34 weeks when I got my very first stretchmark. Just the one stretchmark sent me into a 2-hour long crying fit. I was distraught and the reality began setting in that my body was going to be changed forever and there was nothing I could do about it. After week 38, I’d gained over 60 pounds and my one stretchmark grew and turned into hundreds. I was ashamed and quickly edited them out of every picture I showed my family and friends. On July 5th, over a week past my EDD, I gave birth naturally (no epidural, woohoo!) to a healthy, beautiful baby girl and my life hasn’t been the same since. But that goes without saying, right? lol. My daughter is about a month and a half away from celebrating her first birthday now. We’re still nursing, with no end in sight. I’m sure my already sagging breasts, will continue to do so and I’m prepared to accept it. I have my good days and I have my bad days. I appreciate all that my body has gone through to grow and nourish my little girl, but I long for my sexy, pre-pregnancy body so much it hurts some days. To all the mothers before me– I apologize for being so cruel in my judgements and I can’t believe it took becoming a mother myself to appreciate all your loving sacrifice. You’re all beautiful!

After having my third baby girl just a few days over a month ago I was feeling pretty grossed out by my body last night. All my life I have been the skinny girl with the lean figure but with each pregnancy things got looser and looser and flabbier and flabbier. I didn’t have time to brace myself for what would happen to my body. I got pregnant at 17 with my first and had my last at 21. Things happened so quickly that it was only after coming across this site that I actually took a minute to really stand in front of the mirror and examine what I have become through the three initiations I have been a part of. At first I was disgusted and choked on the tears- now it was so clear why I quickly shower and dress without even glancing in the direction of the mirror. Having to stop and look was hard. Having to wonder if my husband still finds me attractive underneath his insistence I’m as beautiful as ever to him and if I’m still really *me* under all that flab and stretched out skin hurt my heart more so than my ego, although that smarted a little, too. But it’s all so worth it. Hands down. Motherhood is a higher class of beauty that is, sadly, misunderstood in our society.

I am 20 years old, and as most girls generally are- i was always my own worst enemy in the self esteem department. often trying to change the way i look, over exercising and going on stringent diets etc… but it was only until i fell pregnant with my beautiful daughter now do i realise how beautiful and fertile my body is- very womanly and sexy, to be able to create, is truely a miracle. Anyway.. you really change the way you see yourself as a person once you have had a baby, you become more accepting of yourself. Well i have! :) despite the minor stretchies and the extra kilograms ( i gained 20 throughout my pregnancy) lost 12 kgs of it after my gorgeous, 3680 gram bub was delivered.. (8.2 lbs) and i feel fantastic! breastfeeding is doing wonders for the both of us :)

Updated here.

I am 26 years old. I will soon be the mother to three children. I got horrible stretchmarks with my daughter, I was 18, they got a little worse with my son, when I was 22, and now they are just stretched back out! I am 35 weeks in these pics…I will post some more after I have him… I am very self conscious about my body. But after reading and looking (and crying a little too) at these posts from women of all shapes and sizes I feel a little better! I want to have a healthy and energetic body and I after I deliver I am going to strive for that. If that means i lose weight then that is awesome but if it means I just became comfortable with myself, that will be okay too!!