my name is lacie, age 19.
so i had my BEAUTIFUL baby girl on the 8th of April! she was 8 lbs 6 oz. :) she is our everything! i should feel great about everything in my life, i have a super amazing husband and the best baby in the world, but every time i look in the mirror at myself in a bra and underwear i seriously break down because of my stretch marks. i was a toned 110, measuring at 5 ft. 2 in. and had enough self confidence to wear a belly shirt and bikinis! (i actually loved it, not because i liked to show it off, but its because it made me happy!)
now, i cant even look down when showering without getting upset! by the end of my pregnancy i weighed close to 155…. YIKES.
i hate feeling so uncomfortable in my own skin…. and it hurts even worse that i am ashamed of something that came from my amazing daughter…… i feel so sad that i feel embarrassed….
my husband says he still finds me and my body just as beautiful as before, (which i find super hard to believe, and often end up arguing with him about how much my body literally sucks now) but when i ask him if he finds my stretch marks attractive he says no! humph. that seems kind of contradicting doesn’t it?! buuutttt, i can’t say much, because i am my own worst enemy in this.
i feel so freaking ugly due to this flabby skin and stretch marks! i know this may seem super shallow of me to say, but i feel like they are ruining my life! i mean, i know i still have some toning, and a bit of shrinking to do, but the stretch marks will remain even after that!!!
i would do anything to have the confidence some women do about their stretch marks, but i just cannot pull myself to that point…..
any idea when they will fade!? i also have some deep red ones on my hips that you can’t see, they’re more towards my back anyhow. ugh. does anyone else feel like me? or am i crazy?
me, my husband and our beautiful baby
24 thoughts on “Stretch Marks Ruining Confidence (Lacie)”
First, obviously, congrats on your daughter!
I had my son when I was 21. I had to have surgery while I was pregnant. At 5 months I looked like I was full term because I had a 32cm cyst on my ovary. When it was removed, my stomach shrunk… but left me with flabby flappy skin because it stretched so far so fast. So that, with a large scar running down from my belly button, and the stretch marks… I understand how you feel. I’m 27 now and about to have my second child any time now (due date is in 4 weeks) and though the skin stretching is normal, the stretch marks are worse this time.
I really have no advice. It does fade eventually, though sometimes not completely. Just keep reminding yourself that you got those by doing something that is amazing. Think about it… your body created this beautiful breathing creature who will have her own personality out of nothing. Tiny cells met in your body and YOU CREATED THAT LITTLE GIRL. The stretch marks might take awhile to fade because your body made a living breathing human.
Your husband loves you no matter what. That little girl loves you no matter what. When you look at those stretch marks, don’t cry. Think of each one as a moment you were carrying your child, and when they fade… your daughter is going to still be there.
Laci– u r beautiful! I am in the sane boat as you, ur the first girl whose stomach I have seen that is similar to mine. I would love to shashare my experience and tlk w you. ? let me know if you would be interestded in exchanging info
I am also 5’2 and was 120 lbs before my baby, I had red angry looking stretch marks too but I just want you to know they do fade and your skin does recover a lot after a while, you JUST had the baby and you look awesome, if you would like I can email you my before and after to show you how they fade and get better.
I have 2 kids now my daughter is 14 months and my son is 4.
You are NOT CRAZY!
I think you need more time for your body to recover and muscles to tone. It hasn’t even been two months yet right?
Maybe there is a health care provider or fitness trainer you can talk to to find out what is reasonable to expect, especially since stretch marks really vary among individuals. But my biggest hope is that you will be able to love your body the way it is.
I had a very similar body type to yours pre and post first baby at age 33. I think it took me at least 6 months to feel somewhat regular in terms of how I fit in my clothes and looked. I did change my style of dress, because my new body was not flattered by my old clothes. But have you seen this awesome “Dress for your shape” advice floating around the internet?
~~How to dress for your shape: are you human-shaped? play up your confidence and natural sex appeal by wearing whatever the **** you want.
Life Tip: As the weather gets warmer, continue to wear whatever the **** you want. Flaunt everything or keep it cool under cover. Dress to make yourself feel rad.
How to get a bikini body:put a bikini on your body
Want sexy own-the-beach summer legs? shave, or don’t because they’re your ****ing legs.~~
I know when faced with a radically different post-partum body that living with such freedom is not as easily said than done, so I hope you find some supportive people in your life who can help with the strong emotions you are facing.
Oh yeah, and you are a super-cutie and so is your family, but I bet you already knew that!
You gave birth barely under 2 months ago, give yourself some time! Heck, I wish I had your tummy 6 weeks PP. As for your stretchies, while the actual skin will not repair itself if they are deep enough, the color WILL fade over time. After my first daughter was born, I had deep, red stretchmarks from the ribcage down. I gained 63 pounds and was 125 at the start. So, yeah, my skin exploded. I blame myself, genetics, and other things. Anyway, as bad as mine are, and trust me they are bad, they have completely faded in color. Now, if you want to improve the appearance of your skin, there are many ways to do so. Exercise brings healthy blood flow to your skin, other than it being really good for you. Have a healthy diet. I can say firsthand that what I ate reflected how I looked. Fill up on dark, leafy greens, lean protein, etc. Almonds are a good snack. Drink a ton of water. Stretch marks occur when the collagen and elasticity in the skin are compromised and results in deep tears. To drink water is not only good for your body as we have grown up learning, it also helps keeping your skin healthy and helps with collagen. Same with vitamin E. I personally used to take vitamin E capsules and ate fruits and vegetables that had this nutrient. Finally, exfoliate. I do this one because carrying large babies and gaining excess weight twice has left me with loose abdominal skin. I use my loofah and working in a counter clockwise motion I gently scrub my belly skin. This sloughs off dead skin and promotes healthy skin regeneration. Sorry this response was so long, but I hope this advice helps and btw dont listen to your husband on what he thinks. I did that and my self esteem was shot. Stretch marks come with having kids. Some of us have more of these “battle scars” than others, but we all did the same thing to get them- we brought little lives safely into this world, and we shouldn’t feel ashamed of what we sacrificed. Our children will grow up loving us no matter what we try to hide under our clothes. Congrats on your little one, and welcome to the Mommy Circle it is a wonderful place:)
I’m going to sound like someone’s mother here – but when will they start to fade? As soon as you stop worrying about it. With my oldest I agonized over them… and then I gave up. Then one day I realized they were almost gone.
Your husband knows you well and he is giving you a gift with his honesty. If he told you they were attractive you’d call bullshit. What he is telling you is that YOU are attractive to him.
Post-partum is a crazy time. It will pass and your body will adjust. It’s a struggle to not recognize yourself… but it will get easier, I promise. You’re not crazy.
This will probably not make you feel any better, but I think you look amazing! You are only a few week pp and you look tiny already! Your baby girl is beautiful as well. Those marks will fade so much (and you didn’t even get very many of them). I honestly cannot remember how long it takes them to fade, but they do fade a lot. I am sure your husband still finds you beautiful, I do and I am not even a man :)
Baby you are so beautiful, you look really good, don’t break down and enjoy your beautiful family.
I know exactly how you feel. I had my daughter when I was 18 years old… I am now 23. Its been five years and they have faded A Lot. And trust me, my stretch marks were wayyyy worse than yours. They were all across my stomach and on the sides of my hips, my breasts, and my inner thighs. Just give it time. I can still see them but they dont bother me like they used to. I even wore a bikini last weekend. Im back down to 115 but
my body definitly isnt as tight and toned as it was. My stomach for sure has some flab, but you know what? Thats okay. Bc we brought precious little lives into this world. It takes a toll on your body. I gained 50 lbs when I was pregnant. It took me about a year to lose the weight. And be thankful that you have a husband that loves you. My husband always tells me that my stretch marks dont bother him and that im beautiful the way I am. Dont put yourself down. Be confident bc you really are beautiful. If I was you Id be thankful bc my body looked a lot worse a couple months after having my baby. I think you look wonderful :) and you should too
Hey laci! First of all congrats on your baby! It is such an amazing experience to be a mommy isn’t it! :) so, it sounds like it could be me writing this post. I was 19 when I had my daughter and I started out about 112-115 5″3 not a mark on my body. I always liked my body in clothes and would wear a bikini but wasn’t confident because I had a tiny belly pooch. I would do anything to have my stretchmark free skin back :( I feel the exact same way you do. The thing I envy most in this world is smooth stretchmark free skin on women’s Tummys because that’s something I don’t feel will ever return to me. BUT, here is the good news, you JUST had a baby. Your marks will fade to a silver/white and they are SO much less noticeable to the eye. Here is a list of things you can try for your stretchmarks. 1-microdermabrasion- a lot of beaut schools will do this for 30.00. I did this when my daughter was a baby and I feel like it helped the redness go away a lot! 2-creams- I have tried tons and most didn’t really work, am working on saving money to try trilastin sd, google it the results actually look pretty good and there is a 60 day guarantee so you can return it if it doesn’t. 3-belly wraps. If you google “those crazy wrap things” they promote tightening up skin and helping stretchmarks. I haven’t tried theese yet they are expensive like 5 for 100.00 but the before and after pictures I have seen are amazing! 4- fraxel Lazer treatment. Again google will show before and afters that are pretty good, haven’t tried this either pretty expensive and they say you need like at least 4 treatments depending on your case and 5- a lot of women resort to a tummy tuck to feel normal again but honestly I think you look amazing for just having a baby. Do something I didn’t , take pictures ! I used to have tons more color in my Stretchies they were so so red but now none of them are red anymore. I hate them too but I’m keeping hope that something will work someday to get rid of them!! Your not alone!!
I read this post and related more than you can imagine. I was 20 when u gave birth to my 8lb. 3oz. baby girl. When I found out I was pregnant I only weighed 100lbs, by the time I was giving birth I was 179lbs. My body was in shambles. I hated looking in the mirror. This was 15 months ago. I started MANY treatments, and tried many things to force the marks to fade, and believe it or not, I’ve gone from a stomach that looked almost exactly like yours, to a bearable belly. Not saying I am yet ready to wear a bikini but I am also still in the process of treating them. I can give you many tips and advise for things that may help you. First being, treat as soon as possible. The fresher they are, the better your chance is to diminish them. Have you tried any products? I started using Bio Oil after having my little girl, as well as Medurma stretch mark therapy, which can be expensive. (about 40 dollars a tube) The tube should last a whole month though, and you do a 3 month cycle for maximum results. Both of these helped fade mine tremendously! After the Medurma, I continued the Bio Oil. I still do! As well as cocoa butter. The newest thing I have started using is called a derma roller. I have SO impressed with the results so far. After lightening my marks, I started this treatment two months ago, and within four uses the depth, and wrinkly feeling the marks have is smoothing out. My skin is also starting to tighten bc of it. Working out helps, but most people know that already. I hope this can be of some assistance to you and your journey in loving your body again. I’m walking that same path, and there are days I can see light at the end of the tunnel. If you have any more questions about anything feel free to find me on facebook, under Stormy Shea Pierce.
I just want to say that i had my baby when i was 20 (pregnant when i was 19) after i had him the stretch marks and the 65lb weight gain ( that stayed after i had him ) made me really sad. i was 5 9′ and 200 lbs. it was so embarrassing to be a fat girl and not just chubby…
I decided i really wanted to be thin and feel great about myself again. i worked out as hard as i could every day all day. i never went to the gym i just toned at home and ran while my boyfriend was sleeping at 5 am so i could leave the baby at home, then i would take stroller walks. DIET is key too.. all proteins no sugars or carbs, and 100 ozs of water a day iced. in 7 months i had dropped 80 lbs. My stomach was more toned then it was pre baby and the stretch marks were faint white lines that didnt bother me AT ALL, i had worked so hard to get my body back in shape and i was so proud that the silly lil old stretch marks were nothing. My advice is start now, start slow and stay motivated.. only you can change you and you are young enough to get the results you want. im almost 23 now and im having my second son in 3 months… funny thing is im super excited to work my butt off after this one! good luck
Mine started to fade slowly probably around 4/6 months.. I could notice a drastic difference when I was about 10/12 months pp. I am young like you are and getting bad stretch marks on my belly took a toll on my confidence. Just keep in mind that this is the worst they will ever look, every day that passes they will fade a little more and blend a little better. Don’t feel bad about feeling low right now, It’s almost like you need time to mourn the loss of your pre-pregnancy body and the way most women hope they will look unchanged after birth. But once you accept the things you can’t change, and work on the things you can… you will reach a point where you feel sexy again ;) I promise! Just don’t lose hope!! You are gorgeous and your look GREAT for a month pp!
Congrats on your baby! You guys look happy. I am 24 and gained a lot of weight when I was 20-22. I lost most of it, but I still had big nasty WIDE stretch marks. I thought they’d never fade, but two years after starting weight loss they are almost invisible! I also got them during puberty and they went away from then as well. It’ll take time, but they will fade. It’s just a part of life and having a body that changes. Good luck!
We are so similar! My son was born one day before your daughter and I was the same height and weight as you pre pregnancy. And I HATE my stretch marks. The first couple of weeks after he was born I was like, “damn, I actually look pretty good” but now I am just so grossed out. We went to the lake yesterday and I was so self conscious in my ugly one piece while all the other girls were looking cute in their bikinis.
Hang in there! You are not alone!
The third picture there took my breath away – such a stunning moment of motherhood, standing still forever. <3
I want to encourage you to stop looking at the negative things that worry you – after all you JUST had a baby. There is a reason why doctors recommend an 18 month to 3 year gap between babies: our bodies need to heal! And it takes time. It truly takes time to heal. As time goes on, your muscles will tighten, skin will tighten and stretchmarks will fade. Focus now on your beautiful little baby. It's truly sad how quickly they grow. Every extra moment of our existence should be spent feeling blessed by our babies, not worrying about fleeting things like our postpartum bodies. Lots of love, mama. xoxo
give it some time girl youll get it back those stretch marks will fade!! promise!!!
start weight lifting to tone and tighten. even try those IT WORKS wraps < they really work.
blessed and tortured are my posts and I went through the same thing!!
do know that they will fade in time. mine were very similar to yours and i barely notice them now. they are more like shiny, silvery marks and not dark at all. you look lovely and have a beautiful family. your daughter will look up to you and she will be proud of her mommy. enjoy your baby! my babies are growing quickly – surreal how fast time flies!
Im also 19 with my 1st a girl im 38 weeks right now and very nervous because for over a month now i have dark strechmarks crawling up to my belly button on hips and into back thihgs but and calves on my legs thanks for sharing your story seems similar to mine and honestly your body dosebt look bad youll bounce back
I know. Where you are coming from and even though I’m not there yet I know that’s exactly how I feel and even now I cry myself to sleep I spend my night hating myself I recently found out I was pregnant and oh how I wish I weren’t and I know I’m ashamed that I feel that I’m ashamed that I feel that ill hate my baby for it. Before pregnancy my weight range was between. 150-155 and I’m only 5″2 1/2. So tri k about it… You were already skinny before and I was already fat before my chances of ever being skinny are like never in my lifetime after those pregnancy my life has been surrounded by I’m too fat I’m to this my self esteem was already down the toilet and now I spend my nights hating myself and thinking… No I know how its how ill feel so..I hate myself and know that ill never not inception live my body after pregnancy . My bf says you’ll be beautiful even with stretch marks. Ill still love you… But honestly I know I won’t believe him and honestly I don’t care if he does think I’m beautiful after it because I won’t feel like it and if I can’t think of myself as beautiful then I’m not or I won’t be…. I semi understand what you’re feeling and I say semi dice I’m not there yet and ny journey to uglyness has only begun. And I know you love your baby but unlike you I know I wo t because I didn’t even ever want ti have kids and my chances of having o e were very low due to genetics but it happened…. And I know I won’t want the baby or love it at almost I know some women say wait until you see him or her or until he she kicks in your belly but I know it won’t change what I feel. I had my first ultrasound and I thought it was going to change everything but. All that went through my mind was how that little piece of meat that looks like a raspberry was going to make me fat and have stretch marks I’m so ashamed of it but at the moment I hated it. And ill just say… Abortion was considered but I just couldn’t do it . It went against my beliefs and special because my bfs ultimate dream in life is to be a father and I couldn’t take that away. I know for a fact ill be miserable for the rest of my life I know that once I see my tummy after. Ill hate myself … I’m ashamed of how I feel but its my god honest truth…
Lizeth, you beautiful woman you.
First of all, I had no big emotional connection to my babies until after they were born. When my first child was born I did not have that moment that women talk about falling in love. The bond for me took a few months. And I’ve known other moms to feel similarly.
But more than anything – If you don’t want to be a mom DON’T BE A MOM. It’s OK to not be a mom. Really. I promise. You can give that baby to a family who wants one. Or your boyfriend can raise the baby primarily. But it doesn’t make you bad at ALL for not wanting children. Some people want kids, some don’t. Either is fine.
You are beautiful. Really.
Hi, yeah I feel the same way. stretch marks are ruining my life and it’s true what you’ve said that it’s difficult to feel confident about it like other people do. But mine are worse than yours, i had these stretch marks since I was 12 years old and I am 23 now. It kept me from having fun and I always had low self-esteem because of it esp. when I see other girls my age not having stretch marks. I don’t go to the beach or to party. I can’t wear bikinis, even dress or above knee shorts. I had stretch marks all over my body, i have it on my thighs down to my knee, on my butt on my hips ; i got it all because of rapid growth spurt. But think of it you’re lucky to have a family/husband to accept you and love you along with the physical changes you’re going through while I am still on the process of finding someone who will accept me and my flaws. I have no boyfriend since birth and I always have the fear of somebody leaving me because of my stretch marks. I am always at home and avoids going out. My stretch marks are silvery in color that’s why it is almost impossible to fade, but even though i have low confidence and I think it’s ruining my life , I will not keep myself from battling them ; I don’t wanna lose hope. I am on derma roller now and will continue using it, you should try to :)
I look the same is weight and stretch marks and I hate my belly
I had my son when I was almost 19 and I breastfeed for more than 1 year. After that my breast got really saggy and full of strechmarks exactly as my belly (I have 3 sisters they had more kids than me but neither of them have such strechmarks like mine)At 30 I had a big classic surgery on my stomach and few drains which made my stomach looking more than horrible. I have not used 2 piece swimming suit in 27 years. I am 45, I have a belly, average build, saggy, small breast with strech marks and and terrible depressed. I have 2 removable partial dentures, of course I cannot afford implants or anything else but is there any type of treatment that can take care of saggy, streched marks breast, belly strech marks, surgery marks, belly so I can start feeling less like a Quasimodo? Thank you