Skinny Moms, I have a Problem with You (Amanda)

Okay, let me get more specific here. Skinny moms that tell other women that you have a flat belly a month or two after giving birth to your second child because you have to chase child number 1 around. I have a problem with you. Big time.

Can you please just be honest with the rest of us, and admit that you have amazing genes? Because I don’t believe you. Not one bit.

This morning, I headed to my baby’s library class, and a mom with a two year old and a two month old came for the first time. Her stomach was flat. Like, this baby just appeared at the end of the marathon I ran and here we are flat. I asked how old the baby was not because of the moms stomach but because he was little and cute. When she answered “Two months,” the librarian who is probably in her 50s and has a slight mom belly despite being rather thin for her age and frame remarked, “Two months, and you look like that? That is ridiculously unfair.” The rest of us were thinking it as we awkwardly avoided glancing at each other’s or our own bellies. Then, the skinny mom flatly responded, “Oh, well, I chase her around so that’s what has me looking so good again.” And I had to hold my mouth not to scream. “BULL SHIT, I don’t believe you.” I mean, really, ladies, you know who you are. Chasing a two year old for two months is not what gives you washboard abs after baby number 2.

Why do women lie to each other? Is it purposeful or is it just that hard to accept you are one of the lucky ones? And you don’t count if it took you more than two months to get your body back.

I remember when I found out I was pregnant and woman after woman told me to pick up cocoa butter or vitamin E or olive oil or skinny butterfly juice (I made that one up) or whatever it was that they slathered on their belly while pregnant that caused them to come out the other end with no stretch marks. I remember reading article after article that said some things could make stretch marks worse like too rapid of weight gain, but if you are destined to get them, all the cocoa butter in the world won’t stop them. And I religiously rubbed Burt’s Bees Mama Bee cream all over my body. Even my toes. Just in case. And my husband would try to gently comment that it smelled gross, but I didn’t care. I watched the grease soak through my bra, my shirt, the pregnancy pants panel that covered my whole belly, and I sat there so optimistic that the more grease seeping through the less likely stretch marks were on their way.

I begged my OB at the time for a secret. I wouldn’t tell anyone, if she just told me how to not get stretch marks. She bluntly replied, “If there was a cream that prevented stretch marks, do you think I’d be here? I’d be somewhere else selling it.” And so, after months of wasting money and time, one day, my first stretch mark began to appear. I convinced myself that it took mine longer to appear than most women who had serious stretch marks appeared. But I lied. They came in, and while they aren’t as bad as some. They’re still here.

I remember heading to my midwife’s office five weeks postpartum, and I’d already lost 28 pounds just from breastfeeding, but my belly looked five months pregnant. She okayed me to start working out when my body felt okay, and she warned me that my abs had separated during pregnancy. So my back would start to hurt more and more if I didn’t start doing abs to try to bring the muscles back together. That was back when I was sleeping 3 hours total in a 24 hour period because my baby and I were having so much trouble breastfeeding.

I went home and tried to do a sit up, and I damn near died it hurt so much. Then, later, I tried to run on the treadmill, and I thought my lady parts were going to fall out.

So I didn’t run for a long time, and when I finally started moving again, I stuck to walking. I worked my way up to crunches with two 5-lb weights, and while my stomach is nowhere near flat, 9 months out, I don’t look quite as pregnant as I once did. Most days I proudly show my husband and son the almost abs I’m getting back. You know the ones you can see surrounded by my mom bulge? And I usually feel great about my body, but some days, I hide my stomach behind my backpack when I’m in a group of people so that people don’t look at my belly for too long.

~Age: 30
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1/1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 9 months

84 thoughts on “Skinny Moms, I have a Problem with You (Amanda)

  • Tuesday, May 11, 2010 at 8:00 am

    ahh yes i am a little confused now, i based my response around you saying ‘hate’ when actually that word was never mentioned.. lol, someone’s comments above mine said it so i assumed you had. My apologies for that! :) But yeah, skinny people are always getting such a bashing, just as much as curvier ladies, i don’t think it’s acceptable either way! I’m a right skinny rake, i have health problems that make me look anorexic, i hate it!!
    It’s so unfair for some people to assume that if you carry a bit of weight then your lazy.. that’s ridiculous. I ‘look’ incredibly fit, but i get knackered walking up the stairs! :P whereas my sister who is a lovely curvy lady is super fit and always dashing around, she eats well and looks after herself. I on the other hand, eat junk, don’t do any exercise whatsoever and STILL look like a 10 year old boy :( i would never call myself lucky…

  • Tuesday, May 11, 2010 at 5:50 pm

    I am a skinny mom. No stretch marks and a flat tummy. I delivered twins and I was prepregnancy size by 3 months pp with little to no effort. I did breastfeed both babies and I have good genes and that is the truth. This post caught my attention because I feel like skinny moms are judged for being this way. It is like there exists this mom club that we can’t be part of because it’s “unfair” we are are thin again. Comments and questioning are sometimes terse and hurtful. I typically laugh it off as I don’t know what else to do but making an ordeal over how “little” we are and how “unfair it is” does make it awkard and we typically aren’t the ones bringing up, other mothers are. Why do we owe anyone any explanation? Why do we have to entertain comments about our weight at all to anyone?

  • Tuesday, May 11, 2010 at 9:59 pm

    @shealene….THANK YOU! I appreciate you saying that. Anyhow… I’m at 100 lbs and 5’2″ and I missed that good gene wagon. Lol. My stomach is stretch mark free but looks like tenderized meat meets drapery. Ugh. No amount of exercise will change that for me. An apple a day won’t make my loose skin go away :-(

  • Tuesday, May 11, 2010 at 11:21 pm

    I was back in my pre-pregnancy clothes three weeks after my first child was born and five days after my second. My stomach was flat again after a few weeks the second time. The difference was not chasing around the first child, but that I did not gain as much weight with my second pregnancy.

    You probably made that woman feel incredibly uncomfortable and that is why she deflected the comments and stares by saying that. She was trying to downplay the situation. Think about how hormonal and insecure you feel two months after giving birth, how you go to events like readings at the library to meet other women and spend some time with people in similar situations – at home with two small children. It is not easy. Now think how unwelcome you probably made her feel.

    If she had said the honest truth: I was in good shape when I got pregnant, was careful not to gain too much weight, and am lucky to have good genes, the women there might have been even nastier.

  • Wednesday, May 12, 2010 at 11:00 am

    I am a little offended by this…I worked VERY hard to lose my weight from pregnancy and watched what I ate and made healthy choices especially since i was Breastfeeding…I wanted my daughter to have THE BEST…I gained 61 pounds as I was put on bedrest and “ME” I was forced to sit and watch TV….I spent 9 months changing my lifestyle so that I would get back to my old tight body. I lost the weight after 9 months of healthy eating…But my body was not as firm as it use to be…I looked in the mirrior and saw a figure older than my age….I didnt sit and workout 24/7 because I had more important things to do like care for my daughter…But we would go on walks and swim together. I am now doing P90X and my body is getting extremely tight. No I didn’t have stretch marks or a buldge but I had the loose feel of my muscles that seemed to have gone away with the pregnancy on my body. My breasts are not as firm from breastfeeding so far for 14 months….But I will not be angry or envious of another because they figured something out. I could have stayed heavy had I not started eating fruits, lean meats and veggies and stuck to water….I stopped losing weight at 178 pounds….It took me being honest with myself and telling myself if I want to be healthy again and if I want to be happy with my body I am going to have to sacrafice that cake I want…Those poptarts sitting in the pantry…I have good genes yes but my sisters have the same genes…Two of my sisters are fit and firm, one has 3 kids, the other 5….Two of them chose to live life and have fun…They have stretch marks, diabetes and health problems. I wanted to be healthy and fit….I agree with “ME” however rude she was other women stare at you like you must be a horrible mother because you take care of yourself. I have had comments and had they seen me right after I had my daughter they might have thought differently. I have breastfed when most mothers do not and most stop after a few months…My daughter is happy and healthy and advanced. My mother is 61 and had 7 kids, her body was always perfect till she hit 50 and she let herself go…REcently she has got on weight watchers and lost 31 pounds so far…She started at the end of January. It’s $40 a month….It REALLY works and I believe instead of being envious of others it’s time we start loving ourselves and figuring out what will make “US” happy so that our children reap the goodness of confidence and don’t have to worry about weight. Big or little, I see a problem in having any problem with someone else because of their body…You are creating an opening for your child to see something wrong in themselves. Love yourself so your child will love themselves…Confidence is never a bad thing! Arrogance is.

  • Wednesday, May 12, 2010 at 11:59 am

    This sort of bitterness is simply annoying and should really have no place on this site. I know that the weight from my two pregnancies (I’m 34 years old and nearly three weeks out from my 2nd delivery) would still be hanging around had I not worked so hard. I was in the midst of a three mile jog when I felt my first labor pains… and now, once I’ve enjoyed the whopping three or four hours of sleep my daughter allows, I drag my butt out of my toddler wakes up, stuff my cracked and bleeding nipples into a sports bra, and I’m at it again. And coming from a family that tends toward the seriously obese, genes have nothing to do with it. I suck it up, grit my teeth, chug a cup of coffee and work my ass off. But of course that’s not what I say when another mom asks how I lost the weight so quickly. Should it be? Would that make you feel better?

  • Wednesday, May 12, 2010 at 5:01 pm

    I think if people didn’t comment on someone’s looks (I think it’s equally rude to point out someone’s flat stomach as it would be to comment on their extra baby weight)then this wouldn’t be a problem.

    I had people comment on how slim I was after having dd and it was incredibly uncomfortable. Even more so when you know it has nothing to do with anything but ‘luck’ or genetics.

    Anything someone says in response to an unsolicited remark about their body is fair game in my opinion. ;)

  • Wednesday, May 12, 2010 at 5:54 pm

    I don’t see why people are so up in arms about her post, it’s true if you didn’t do the work and just happen to be lucky enough to have a flat tummy after a baby be sensitive to those who don’t. I played tennis for 8 years and have alway eaten well and only gained 25 pounds while pregnant but my tummy is still a mess 16 months later, I run 3 times a week but still have that “apron” at my belly, sometimes people are small and the stretch was just too much, I am with the poster. =)

  • Thursday, May 13, 2010 at 4:35 pm

    I am very petite and have been all my life. I gained 20 lbs with my first and 35lbs with my 2nd baby and I ate the same during both pregnancies, which was pretty much healthy for the most part. Do you want to know how we do it, well here it is: Breakfast very small bowl of cereal OR Toast. Lunch: half a sandwich and a banana OR fruit and yogurt OR soup OR salad. Dinner: Half a steak/chicken breast/fish WITH MOSTLY VEGETABLES WITH small amount of pasta/rice/potatoes. So basically little carbs and loads of veggies (skip the dressing or use no more than a tablespoon) I still eat desserts but usually eat half of what is served. Yes, there are people out there who actually love the taste of healthy food (I’m one of them)and I feel sick if I eat too many fatty foods. My dad died of a heart attack and it made me want to take care of my health even more. I suggest that you give it a try because I truely beleive that diet has 70 % to do with your weight. I wouldn’t get to upset with the skinny girls…most likely they lead a very healthy lifestyle and it would be silly to make fun of that.

  • Thursday, May 13, 2010 at 8:08 pm

    i think everyone is completely missing the point, its not about those ‘skinny’ chicks that bounce back after two days, its about how this woman, who write this post feels about herself, we ALL have something amazing in common here, whats with people being so defensive, this is not YOUR story, even if she mentions YOU. amanda you look great, really you do

  • Saturday, May 15, 2010 at 10:21 am

    I would love to see what the reaction here would be if you just exchanged the word “fat” or “overweight” for “skinny.” All of you guys who are defending what the OP says about slender mothers would be really changing your tune, no? Goes both ways. Slender moms do not owe anyone an explanation about their bodies any more than the mothers who hold onto a little extra weight.

  • Saturday, May 15, 2010 at 7:10 pm

    Amanda does look great, unfortunately she put people on the offensive even in the title of this post. I’m not sure why skinny chicks are suppose to be sensitive to those who don’t have it so easy, if one wants to share their story to get feedback it shouldn’t be at the expense of anyone else, skinny or fat. Simply tell your story and leave the rest alone. If this is an uplifting site, none of us should be expressing having a “problem” with anyone. We are all mothers here who have shared in a common experience.

  • Thursday, May 20, 2010 at 8:40 am

    Hey, I’m a skinny mom, and that’s not easy either! Since I’ve had my kids I’m having a hard time maintaining a healthy weight. Especially when I am under the weather I lose a few pounds and all of my energy (even fainted in a shopping mall while clinging on to my daughter’s stroller, a few years ago). I started exercising a year ago and the extra muscle mass helps me to keep those pounds on and put the nourishment I give to my body to good use.
    You look fantastic, as do all the moms on this website regardless of their shapes and sizes. We’ve got nothing left to prove after having given life! I celebrate all of you :)

  • Friday, May 21, 2010 at 4:22 pm

    Hmmm…. not that this totally applies…but skinny doesn’t necessarily mean healthy, and chubby doesn’t mean unhealthy. Just be healthy and happy with who and what you are!

  • Sunday, May 23, 2010 at 8:45 am

    What are you talking about, woman? You have a great looking stomach. I’m not saying you don’t have a right to be frustrated; I’m right there on the fence with you. However, I am also talking from both perspectives. I was 20 when my first son was born, gained 50+ lbs (eek), and had dropped it what felt like almost over night (yes, less than 2 months). At that time I was in the military so when people asked, I attributed it to that but who am I kidding? I was lazy and if I’d actually had to do a PT test, I would have failed miserably. My second son was born on the day I turned 23; once again the same story. I do have a slight belly but it’s not really noticeable to anyone but myself. Now here is where it goes downhill. I had my first daughter and I wound up with a section. I couldn’t get rid of that belly now and the sit-ups I had to do hurt like hell. I wasn’t doing them because I wanted to but because I had to for the military. I now have a perpetual bulge that only put me up a couple of pant sizes but looks gargantuan to me (it really wasn’t). I have my second daughter, section again. Blah blah blah. There’s not really anything special about this, I know. Here’s why I wanted to comment. I really DO look like I’m around 5-6 months pregnant; that is the size my doctor has measured me at. I have a form of internal endometriosis wherein not everything is able to leave properly during my cycle and it’s caught in the muscle lining of my uterus. Excess has slowly built up in there and stretching everything out over the last four years; the cysts don’t help matters either. Let me tell you, this HURTS both emotionally and physically. I have 2 periods every month (the second is excess finally draining that got caught the first time around), I’m exhausted, and at least once a week I face total strangers coming up to me and gushing the big question: when am I due. Now, I’m not saying this to complain. I am not bitter (I was) and I have actually accepted my body for what it is. I just wanted to say this so you have a better perspective of just how good you actually look and what I wouldn’t give to be there again without having to have surgery. My ordeal will end next year when I have finally saved enough money to pay for a surgeon to perform a hysterectomy because that’s the only long term solution to deal with this. However, the doctor has already advised me that I will most likely never lose my belly because it’s been distended so long. So please, count your blessings. Cuddle your little one and your husband, accept you paid a small price to get your baby here and rejoice that you still have your health along with it.

  • Thursday, August 5, 2010 at 7:06 pm

    Amen sister!

  • Friday, September 24, 2010 at 5:11 pm

    Wow, I am skinny… Iam currently pregnant with my 6th boy… I do not perform some sort of magic to get my tummy and body back after the baby is born. I quite literally work my ass off to look good……. I think you are a bit dramatic and judgemental… Its funny how noones allowed to say anythign to an overweight person, but I here a LOT of overweight people talking pure crap about smaller sized women… I am sorry you are having a hard time with your image and body right now, and I really do hope that gets better. BUT whether it doesn or not has no impact on whether someone else is skinny or not…….

  • Sunday, March 27, 2011 at 8:30 am

    im not i hater but i get jealous. i am a single mom i hiked and jogged throught my pregnancy and only craved healthy thing … and tostitos lol. i am 13m pp. and have worked out since the day after my daughters birth ( i ignored my doctors requests?)i jog for atleast 2 hours daily have ( my daughter loves it ) we do morning stretched and push up crunches and the ab cirlcle i do not own a tv and only eat fresh produce and soy nuts. and yet … i still have a bit of a tummy. the “mama pouch” i was one who was blessed with no stretch marks however i didnt recieve any boobs lol… im still an “a” cup. im healthy but am not attractive naked ( to my eye) but isnt that every woman? evry women is self conscious. wether she is 200 lbs 140 lbs( me) or 100 lbs. sure i would love to get rid of the bump but thats not whats important

  • Saturday, August 27, 2011 at 9:36 pm

    I have one child, now 2 1/2 years. I am 23 years old and I had no problem going back to my weight. I lost all my baby fat and that baby pouch roll at 3 months post-partum and by 9 month post I was where i am now; 115 pounds. Before I was pregnant I weighed an avg 125-130 pounds. Im 5′ 6″ tall and no Im not starving myself. I generally eat healthy and still eat dessert after every meal and inbetween lol. I love my body more than ever. I think i eat more than i did as a teenager. So next time you see a thin mom with a baby on her hip, dont think she doesn eat her burgers or has time to work out. I have been working since my babe was 1 1/2 months old, im a single mom, and now that he’s 2 years; How the heck do I have time to worry about me?! Yea I wasted my money too, I got some stretch marks on my tummy, but they dissapear overtime..not that big deal.
    I love my mommy shape, it looks way better than britney spears mommy body, who wouldn’t brag?

  • Tuesday, April 24, 2012 at 11:26 am

    Kinda funny…how do you know that the thin woman from the library hasn’t posted on this very site? None of us know what she struggles with, or what her personal demons are. I am a thin mom, and I get snarky comments sometimes (4yrs PP), and yet here I am – everyday I dress to hide all the extra skin on my tummy. It hangs down when I bend over and sometimes gets caught in my waistband. But you wouldn’t know that.

  • Tuesday, April 24, 2012 at 11:39 am

    … One other thing; I was thin before getting pregnant, gained 90lbs. How did I lose it? I got sick. Daily migraines, hyperthyroidism and ultimately a partial thyroidectomy. I had a 4th degree tear during delivery and the repair was…lacking. I pee whenever I cough, sneeze, blow my nose, etc. The meds I have been on since the birth of my son result in constant loose stool (i.e. I haven’t crapped a solid in 4yrs!!) So when someone asks how I stay thin? Yeah, I going to go with the nice, pretty – chasing my son around answer. ;)

  • Friday, January 18, 2013 at 8:58 am

    I too think you are being a bit harsh. Yes that other moms body is probably geneticly programed to be smaller but I guarantee you she does not have a washboard stomach two months after giving birth. Believe me because I am one of those moms you are complaining about and this bitterness and assumptions felt from other women is all to real for me, before during amd after my pregnancies. Its hurts a lot that woman disregard our pain and insecurities because we look “thin” but we too have bodies that have been altered from pregnancy and our pain is just as real as any others. Women always say to me wow you look great two month old baby and back to before baby body :( um no not even close…but I cant say anything because I am thin I do not have the right to exress my sadness and pain. Before the baby I had the body of a victoria secret model and that was me that was all i knew i dont know how to be this other person. I was fortunate enough to not get stretch marks and no loose or stretched skin and that makes other moms angry at me…why? What did i ever do to you? And I know many woman will still say oh boo hoo and be angry and disregard my feelings but thin mom go through the emotional whirlwind as well. I also want to say please stop judging thin moms and saying oh it must be nice to have the weight just fall off but is that what they assume…that it felll off? You need to take into account the before baby body size, how healthy active was she during pregnancy, how much weight gain during pregnancy, healthy eating after baby and exercise exercise exercise and yes eventually after a lot of hard work I get back down to 115 pounds at 5’9 and no I don’t starve myself. I do it for myself as well as my husband I love him to death and I know he loves me no matter what but I try my best to keep being the girl he fell in love with.Thin moms are uncomfortable telling other moms that they ate healthy and exercise so the common response is ya I chase the kids around all day or some other stupid answer because we are afraid to say we are sad too and we hate our new body too so we keep it bottled up and cry when we are alone and cant express our worries because we are judged constanty we are afraid to say that we do work for it “some work harder than others” but it doesn’t come for free..yes the smaller frame is free but flat stomach and abs, tight butt, losing the last twenty pounds not free at all.

  • Wednesday, March 20, 2013 at 12:16 am

    I think saying good genes or lucky is much fairer too. Saying it’s because of running around after them kind of assumes the ‘fat’ mums aren’t and that’s not fair at all. Maybe they could be more specific about diet or exercise but certainly the ‘running around after them’ thing is a bit out there. Aren’t ALL mums doing that, so if it was just that then ALL mums would be flat. I think it’s fair for this mumma to call them out on not being truthful. It’s not a stab at skinny chicks, only the ones that aren’t honest about it! Skinny bashing is as bad as fat bashing but lying isn’t on either. Perhaps if more skinny girls were honest about how their bodies changed even though they lost the weight instead of brushing it all off with a flippant lie then we could all bond instead of feeling awkward <3

  • Friday, April 26, 2013 at 9:36 pm

    I hate how desperatly jealous of my thin mum friends I am. I hated my body before and now I can’t stand to look at myself in the mirror. It just all seems so unfair. I feel sorry for my partner, I’m sure he must be embarrassed by me. I’m dieting and going to the gym but 4 months on I look the same even though I have lost 22 kilos. I wish I didn’t feel this way, I wish I wasn’t so jealous of everyone else’s bodies. Why does it always feel like you are the only one with stretch marks?! No one else I know has them. Thank god for this site I feel normal and not alone.

  • Tuesday, October 1, 2013 at 5:08 am

    What if she really thought she was thin because of chasing her kid? Just because it didn´t awfully matter to her and she didn´t think day in and day out about why she was thin and others were not so the question surprised her?

  • Sunday, January 19, 2014 at 8:55 pm

    I’m late to this article I see, but pregnant with my first and really struggling with weight gain. I worked out hard and dieted before getting pregnant but due to complications had to stop, and of course eat larger more well-balanced meals, which has led to being much thicker than I would like. I wish people hadn’t given you such a hard time. They obviously never felt the same way or they would understand that criticism was the last thing you needed. I agree with you and I don’t feel the least bit bad for thin mothers who still got stretch marks. At least you can cover that up with clothes! Some of us got the stretch marks AND the huge thighs and hips that DO NOT cover up with clothes! In an ideal world we would all be happy with what me have, but sometimes (especially when you’re hormonal) you can’t help the way you feel. So I thank you for the article, it made me feel less alone.

  • Friday, March 7, 2014 at 1:03 pm

    Jealous moms, I have a problem with YOU!

    Hey, I am one of those moms that had a flat belly two months (or three) after the birth of my son. I have always been trim and I am an athlete as well. But you know what, we “lie” because we know everyone resents us. Why would anyone who supposedly “knows” that it’s mostly “amazing genes” put us in a position to have to justify it in the first place?
    By the way, I don’t lie. I say, “I’m just lucky.” “My parents were fit and athletic.” Sometimes I combine those with, “I have been an athlete for 2o years.” Whatever, but why do I have to justify it in first darn place? It’s not like I went out of my way to lose my baby weight, it just happened. I wish women weren’t so darn competitive and insecure with one another.

  • Friday, February 27, 2015 at 7:51 am

    Having recently lost my baby weight and dropped to ten pounds below pregnancy weight, I have often been asked how I did it. Like the mom mentioned above, I will usually try to brush it off on being kept busy by my baby, or something similar, simply because I feel like it’s more polite than answering truthful. The real reason I dropped 35 pounds, despite having a hypothyroidism and endometriosis (“genetics” have not blessed me), was that I logged every single thing I ate or drank, counted calories, ate clean, balanced macros, and switched between running 5k or weightlifting every day. It’s ok to struggle with losing that baby weight – you’re not alone; it’s not okay to guilt other women who work hard for that body, but are too polite to detail their regime to strangers.

  • Monday, March 9, 2015 at 6:30 am

    i am 5’8″ and was 120 lbs before pregnancy. i did NOT “eat for two”. that is such gluttony enabling BS.

    i ate the absolute minimum amount of calories required to develop a healthy 8 lb baby (approx 300-500 extra calories over my maintenance level every day sometime around the end of the first trimester). i worked out 4 times a week until about the 8th month of pregnancy. this included weights + cardio + yoga. i wasn’t sitting around on pillows for 9 months so my back and legs were throughout.

    my beautiful baby was born healthy :) i took a few weeks off any kind of training afterwards for the immediate breastfeeding and intense maternity time but was still mindful of calories i ate. i was no longer eating above maintanence.

    then i started going for nice long walks with baby in tow and eating at a caloric deficit (500 below maintenance daily) to lose weight over the period of 5 or 6 months. now i’m back to 120. a few stretch marks no big deal. i’m not “lucky”. i worked for it. now i’m back to my full blown fitness and feeling / looking good (my hubby is happy), loving being a mom and spending time with my baby.

    while i’m here i’m going to tell you secrets few if any thin moms will tell you. we don’t have “fast metabolisms”. we actually do go out of our way to watch what we eat. we usually skip appetizers and desserts intentionally because we know they are fattening calories. do you really need to reward yourself for a large meal with dessert? do you really need to eat before you eat, i.e. an appetizer? we count calories or at least are aware of portion control. do you really need seconds? we don’t drink that much because useless calories. we work out several times a week. no excuses. we don’t mindlessly eat chips out of a bag until it’s empty. if you can’t commit to yourself an hour of REAL fitness 4 times a week then you will always be heavy.

    being overweight is almost always a choice unless you have SEVERE physical limitations and a genuine medically diagnosed metabolic disorder. this is the harsh reality of many women’s AND men’s situation.

  • Tuesday, February 9, 2016 at 3:57 am

    Here’s my two cents on the subject, as a “skinny” mom of a 3 year old healthy child:

    I am one of those who has always been slim and even underweight, until my 20s, when I reached a perfect ideal weight and kept it without worrying about calories or exercise. I went through my pregnancy without any special diet or workout routine and leaving most people ignorant of my expected baby until my 7th month, when my belly could not be ignored any longer, otherwise, I was only wearing one size bigger clothes and looked perfectly fit and slim from the outside. I also spent the money for that wildrose milk cream and that almond oil to rub my belly, but still ended up gaining ALL my stretchmarks at the last 4 weeks of pregnancy, as well as all most of my extra pounds. I could not care less about this at that moment, my only preoccupation was to deliver the baby in well and due form and discard all that water from my body, which made me feel heavy and uneasy to move around. I went back to my regular size in two months time, but even today you can guess I have had a baby if you look at what’s left from the stretch-marks. Even though my stomach looks perfectly flat in public and my silhouette is back to victoria secret’s time, there is still a small bulge hiding in there, which does not bother me that much and which I know I could get rid off, if I only decided to commit to appropriate exercise and most probably to give up sugar from my diet. So, slim does not rhyme with tonic and ideal weight does not rhyme with ideal fitness. From all my personal experience and research into health and nutrition, I can tell the following, which most comments in this post seem to have gotten wrong due to popular misconceptions and age-long public disinformation:
    – Yes, genes determine your weight, but your lifestyle can change your gene expression : eat right, live right and you may get your genes back right
    – It’s not about calories or restricting food quantities, it’s about eating real food and giving your body the plenty of nutrients it needs to thrive and function. Having half sandwich rather than a sandwich, that is not the point, if you don’t care what is in the sandwich: sugar? protein? fat? vitamins? minerals? enzymes?… This should be the primary concern, as junk food cut in half will still remain junk food and starving yourself is not the way to go for a long and healthy life.
    – Breastfeeding helps: that extra fat goes into milk production and both you and your baby get a win-win situation
    – Fat does not make you fat, sugar does. So, if you are addressing your diet to address your weight issues, which is a pretty right way to go, make sure to consider the following:
    – Wheat, cereals, bread, pasta, starchy vegetables are all SUGARS, avoid them
    – Fruits are SUGARS as well, but they have some benefits due to vitamins and other micro-nutrients, so use with moderation or go for the less sugary ones: berries, limes, lemon and grapefruit for instance
    – Fruit juices (especially the industrial ones) are not a good choice: overloaded with sugars and low in fiber, go for water instead.
    – Sodas and any other drink containing sugar or artificial sweeteners are to be banned
    – Fats are a must, your brain is made of fat and needs fat to function. Your body can burn them into energy much faster than it burns sugars and once you switch your metabolism to a fat-burning one, by avoiding sugars, you will even start burning your stored fat reserves and lose weight. Just make sure to eat the right types of fat: coconut butter, grass-fed cow milk butter and cream, unheated olive oil, olives, nuts, almonds, flax seeds, avocados are all perfect sources of fat, but not only, they contain plenty of other nutrients that your body and brain needs. Ban all other transformed or not vegetable oils like: canola or sunflower or palm or whatever… It is a pure industrial invention for making profit supported by decades of media advertising.
    – Greens: by all means! The greener, the fresher, the better…
    – Dairy: beware of low-fat, low-calories, fortified… labels: this mostly means highly processed, sugar and additives- loaded junk. Go for raw milk or at least just full-fat milk products. If you like fruit yogurt, just add some fruit to it yourself, and there you go.
    – Meats: chose grass-fed ones if you can
    – Eggs: best choice for a good breakfast, instead of the usual cereal or bagels or any other sugar crap
    – As a general rule: ditch out any processed foods and cook your own dishes. Get real food with real ingredients, avoid GMOs, privilege organic where you can, drink water, stop counting calories, your body will tell you what it needs, if you are always hungry, that most probably means you’re not eating enough nutritious food.
    – Try your best to get a good-night’s sleep…. I know I know…

    Good luck

  • Monday, June 20, 2016 at 12:08 am

    I have 2 kids i am 124lbs 5’2″ and i have a good amount of people that want to know my secret (which i dont have one) i didnt eat healthy but i didnt go nuts during my pregnancy and i have been covered from chest to calves with stretch marks. Yay im skinny but i have so much loose skin that i look disgusting. Well i used to think that way since i found out no matter what exercises i did it wasn’t going away so i imbraced it with tons of help from my amazing husband. He didnt want me to get breast augumentation when i thought my breast were too flat and i thought he wouldnt like them and he tells me how much he loves my saggy tummy since he can hold our 2 beautiful babies. I believe all the woman need to stop “hating” other woman for any reason when it comes to this. We all have our demons and to say that its because you ate healthy and exercised the whole time is BS genes have 92% play in if your skin bounces back or you get stretch marks all the way down to how much weight you gained and if it will come off as easily as others.

  • Sunday, July 24, 2016 at 8:41 pm

    If I could give you my natural skinny I would, I hate being naturally thin, so many women hate me, and wonder how I stay so thin, when it’s just the way I was born. As soon as I left my own mothers womb I was denoted with a thin frame and I stayed thin up until this day. I was a tiny baby a skinny little nerdy girl and now a petite small framed woman. But I really hate other women’s jealousy of something I did not ask for. I grabbed a lot of attention from men that thought I was cute and my body was hot, but I hated the pervy men too. I would be so happy to donate my skinny to all the women who want it because I hate it. I always wished I could pack on the pounds without burning them off like coals on a fire. I felt if I was bigger people would leave me alone more, and be less concerned with me since the average American woman weighs 145lbs I’ve been cursed at 108 pre pregnancy. I’m 5’2 too. Some women love me call me their little doll and think I’m cute other women absolutely hate me without even getting to know me. Jealous women hurt, they are not nice. It sucks. Little do they know I’d gladly trade weight and size with them so they can feel how much it sucks to be skinny to deal with other women like themselves that hate skinny women. Some women go out of their way to try and fight me or make up exaggerated lies about me, do nasty mean things to me, just in general be disrespectful and malicious. It’s like please stop hurting me, please get to know me first before I become the cat to your canine like temper. You never know you might just like me if you give me a chance without letting your anger and jealousy overcome you.

  • Tuesday, November 29, 2016 at 11:59 pm

    Someone asked me how I’m so thin after having a kid. I told them simply, ” good genes”. Cuz while I have a naturally small appetite, I eat mostly crap and don’t exercise.

  • Sunday, January 29, 2017 at 5:38 pm

    it makes me so sad to read all of these comments as much as the original post. We are so pressured in our culture to ‘look’ a certain way and then tear each other down for sharing or real, raw, jealousy feelings bread from a culture that shames ALL body types. Women can never win. And what does that do to us? It makes us feel like we NEED to work out right after having a baby, run and workout after 3 hours of sleep, and eat crazy diets. All of which are NOT healthy long term for or bodies- of any shape or size. Leaking pee but a healthy athlete? Not normal, it signals pelvic floor weakness. Painful sex? Also not normal. We are meant to care for our bodies post pregnancy and birth, we need to heal and focus on our new little human(s). And yes, move your body to feel good and be healthy, NOT for an image.
    The crazy amounts of negativity women are throwing at each other her is awful. If you are truly secure with yourself and your body you LIFT OTHERS UP and ENCOURAGE them. Not name call and demonize them. This goes for the OP and other commenters.
    I feel awful about my body some days. I worked out in pregnancy until I was tackled at work and threw my back out. I gained too much weight. Not because I ate crap, because I literally couldn’t move. And now, I am squishy and suffering from chronic back issues and having a load of other medical stuff. And yes, I am jealous inside of skinny moms at the pool in their 2 pieces looking like I did pre pregnancy. And guess what? Those are my feelings to own, and realize THEY don’t my story and I don’t know theirs. So if they judge me as a mom who is too lazy to loose the weight because I don’t work hard enough, that’s a reflection of their inner selves, not me. If woman could learn to be kind, and ask how postpartum women FEEL about their health, maybe we could start to have real dialogue about our body issues and own our jealousy and own our judgement and realize we can still have those feelings and lift each other up.
    Skinny moms, those who worked their asses off and those who didn’t have to: stop hating on other women. yeah, I get jealous of you. But it doesn’t mean I hate you or don’t like you. It means I am feeling crummy that my body hasn’t cooperated with my idealized image of what it should be. And that’s my shit to deal with. Don’t judge me for having extra fat until you know me or my story.
    Other Moms: stop hating on other women. Own your story. Own your feelings. Don’t judge and be rude.
    We all have our story.

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