Age- 17
First pregnancy and first birth to my daughter.
Cesarean (couldn’t dialate past a 6)
Hey everyone, my name is Lindsey. First off I want to say I love this website, and everyone on it who shared their stories… I had to debate if I wanted to post my story on here because I was scared to for the longest time, but everyone’s stories made me feel like I could do it too.
I was 16 when I got pregnant, and 17 when I had my daughter. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years, he tells me that he loves me for me, but it is really hard for me to accept it.. Through out my whole pregnancy I was doing great, I didnt have morning sickness and I wasn’t moody, I was a happy pregnant person, until 32 weeks came around.. I noticed a tiny stretch mark on my butt, I was worried and I started freaking out, but then I got over it because there was nothing I could do about it.. Days started passing and more stretch marks started to appear.. I am now covered in stretch marks, I have them on my butt, my boobs, my stomach, the front of my thighs, the back of my thighs, the back of my calves, theyre everywhere… My nipples have gotten huge and dark, and my boobs are like pancakes now. I can’t help but be upset about it because I feel disgusting. I have the most difficult time looking in the mirror and I cry every time I see myself naked. I hated my body before I was pregnant, but now I miss it more then anything in this world.. I go to sleep crying, I wake up crying, I just can’t stop crying, I’m crying right now just writing about it.. I feel so unnatractive and I feel like if me and my boyfriend ever split up I’ll never find a man who will think I’m sexy. I mean why would a guy want to be with me when there is other girls out there who don’t have the type of body I have.. Like, I’d feel like if they were with me, they’d always have that thought in the back of their head of being with a girl who’s more fit and doesnt have stretch marks.. So I feel like if a guy ever calls me beautiful, or sexy, he’s just lieing. I don’t think Id ever be comfortable in any relationship with those thoughts in the back of my head, which would eventually cause the guy to leave me because he’s tired of me complaining about it. My boyfriend gets upset when I talk to him about it too, because I ALWAYS feel like he’s lieing to me, because I know Im ugly and my body is disgusting.. I could ramble on for hours about that subject, I just want people to understand what Im saying.. I weighed 145 before I got pregnant, and then weighed 190 at the end of my pregnancy, and now I weigh 168. I dont even feel like exercising or anything to go back to my normal weight because what’s the point in losing weight if I’m never going to feel good about myself? Has anyone else felt like this, I feel alone.. I dont think I’ll ever be happy with myself. I love being a mom and I love my daughter more then anything in this world, but I feel so nasty when it comes to myself and the way I look… Someone please help me accept this…
1st picture- Before I got pregnant.
2nd- Me 4.5 weeks post partum (I’m 5+ weeks right now, but look the same).
last- My daughter Nova who was born on December 23rd, 2009. Picture was taken on Christmas at the hospital right before we went home.
I would’ve taken more pictures of myself then what I did but I couldnt because I’m to embarrassed..
These pictures dont even do any justice of what I look like in real life.. =[
Updated here.
Lindsey, strecht mark will look better over time. and only five weeks after pregnancy is nothing it took you 10 month to get to 190 so be fare with your body.
Just like rokstarts see their tatoos as marks of glory. you shoud start sloking at your strech marks as Love marks. Thats how I’m dealing with mine. I’m 28 and have 2 kid, not very happy whit my body, but when Isee how beautifull my childre are….It is worth it. take care. and be patient
That pic was at the hospital???! Your body looks awesome!!! Your stretchmarks will fade to nothing and your stomach looks so flat! I hope you find acceptance, cause you deserve it. Your daughter is a doll!
hey girl! u took the words right out of my mouth!!!! my thoughts exactly!! im 21 years old and i had my son when i was 19…i ended up getting stretch marks EVERYWHERE except my face, hands, and feet it seems!!!! I HATE IT! and likewise my bf says im beautiful blah blah blah but how many girls my age are out there that have flawless skin? i loooved my body before and being confident like that to thinking im a monster pretty much def takes a toll on my life..i cringe when i have to look in the mirror i cry allll the time about it…i even when on a workout binge (which im not addicted to) hoping that maybe if i had a sexy toned body the stretch marks wouldnt matter…but i doubt that these days…i could go on and on cz im in the same boat as u! if u even wanna talk my email is tlknepp1129@yahoo.com…im also on here too a couple times..i think the most recent one is Update 3 months after pilates (tamara)…take care girl!
Lindsey
I know exactly how you feel. I wil start out by telling you that you look AMAZING! I did not look like that 4.5 weeks after my first cesarean (which I had when I was 20). It took me a god year to get back to myself (which was still not myself! You think you got stretch marks? I have them all over everything! I got them wayyy above my bellt button too…you only have them on a little section of your belly)…let me tell you, your stretch marks will fade to barely even noticable. You belly is incredibly flat! You do not even have the belly overhang! I did not have one after my first cesarean, but I had my 2nd at 23, and I have the overhang now :( I wish I could tell you that it gets a lot better as far as the emotions go…but we are girls and it is gard for us to love our bodies even when we haven’t had kids! I still cry a lot. But I will also tell you that my first child passed away when he was 19 months old…the stretch marks that used to make me cry are now treasured. I rub them when I think of him…they are my only physical proof I had him. So think of your stretch marks like that! Proof that you had you very beautiful baby girl. Your great complexion will help them fade better than mine did…and I promise you, mine are very light! You are ONLY 4.5 weeks pp, so if your belly feels a little swollen to you, it is because it is! Your uterus has not even gone down all the way yet :) Any man would love your body! It really looks great, and it will only get better! I really wish there is something else I could say…because i know how hard it is to feel like you do…I feel like that a lot too…and then I feel even worse because I know that I should love my body for giving me my 2 baby boys…It is a roller coaster! Working out WILL make you feel better (but you cannot work out right now! You JUST had a major surgery). When you can work out try doing Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred…it is great, and will tone you up in no time! It is also only a 20 minute workout!!!! Any way…I hope you feel better soon because you are beautiful, and so is your baby girl :)
Give it time. The stretch marks will fade and just be a silvery color and your muscles will firm up again.
My heart goes out to you.
You really look good in the picture. And you’re only 5 weeks postpartum!! I gained about the same amount of weight you did…it does take a little time to come off. Stretch marks will fade (I actually kinda like yours).
You really do look good for only 5 weeks postpartum. I had to LIFT my belly/extra skin to see the c/s scar for the first several weeks. If mine has improved dramatically in 9.5 months, yours will, too! :)
But overall, I don’t think much that others say will convince you to accept yourself. You need to work at seeing yourself in a more positive light and ACCEPT what your boyfriend says. Even if you don’t understand it… My husband found me sexy when I couldn’t comprehend it. Let it help build your confidence. Maybe start out with that – just accept what HE thinks of you regardless of what YOU think or you think he thinks. :)
OMG.. ur hot.. and you stretchies arent soo bad… not as bad as mine at least.. my belly piercing got stretched and now looks super dark, and i have like 2 stretchies right on top of it.. my lower abdomen is whipped with stretchies so as my sides!… ur lucky to still have a nice shape PP, the stretchies will fade.. at least u dont have lots.. i got gaziliions! and im scared that itll take forever b4 they fade or that i’ll have a squishy granny belly!.. im jelous of ur body… dont feel bad. there are others with worst stretchies (like me!)
and the sucky thing is im only 20 hahaha, im tryin not to think about it.. there are times when it gets me.. like now! lol.. ur still hot. hope i dont look too bad after delivery. my EDD is on march 17 2010
I can’t help but comment on this. Honestly, I wish I could reach through the computer screen and hug you, cause you deffinately need one!
First off, I was 17 when I found out I was pregnant with my son. I had an awesome body, which I never acknowledged until after the fact, and should have loved myself a little more. I have posted twice on here. #1) https://theshapeofamother.com/blog/2-babies-later-bryana/
#2) https://theshapeofamother.com/blog/update-bryana/
I used to have the same thoughts as you: if my husband and I ever broke up, who would want me? I am ugly! I have such a terrible body. And I am not going to tell you that it is easy to get over and that you need to realize how beautiful you truly are, stretch marks or no stretch marks, because when people would tell me that I just wanted to punch them in the face because I didn’t believe they would ever understand.
But now, my second (and last child) is 8 months old, she is beautiful and I love her to death. I, despite the odds, have come to love my body. It is stretched out beyond repair, stretched to the max, and down right pale and sad looking… but look what it did! It brought 2 beautiful and amazing miracles into this world! I hope one day that you can learnt o love and accept your body for all that it has done. If you ever want to talk, please contact me, because I have been there, and not that long ago. I will tell you that you are beautiful, including your stretch marks. Be proud and think of your beautiful daughter. My attitude changed when I looked at her and thought to myself, “I never want her to think she is not good enough, physically or mentally!” Think of her… :) You are beautiful!
your only 17!!
I am 30 years old, 2 kids later and if I could go back to being 17 and looking like you I would in a heartbeat! Who cares what a guy thinks, the body isnt everything, your not fat and really you look fine, Im not just saying that…you should really try to put all that hate energy you have about your body elsewhere…like school and your kid…for real…trust me when your 25-30-35 and up…men want a smart chickie, and strecth marks have never stopped me from dating or getting the guy i want…we are designed to have children, stretchies happen, men who love you wont care, trust me i know, im livng proof…be happy your only 17, you have a long way to go, i really hope you start to see yourself in a better light, go to school or go back and get a degree in something, THAT will matter, your stretch marks wont…if you are worried a guy wont want you becuase of it…imagine how, if when your older you have no schooling, no realy career and a body you hate…thats not good. You should get your self esteem somewhere else, what is done to you body will heal and it will fade…i wish someone told me this! the only guy who cares about how hot your body is is a guy who only wants to get laid and doesnt care about you as a person…people have flaws, so be it..noone is perfect…and your 17! LIVE IT UP! it doesnt last!
I 100% relate to what you’re saying! I feel exactly the same! I too can’t understand why my partner would find me attractive as by the sounds of things we’ve ended up with stretchmarks in the same places! I also am scared that I’m driving me n my partner apart because I constantly put myself down and sex is non-existant! N it makes me even more scared being alone as I think no-one will want me! But I think u look great – ur stretchmarks aren’t even that bad!! Seriously!
Honey, you DON’T WANT a guy who’s primary interest in you is finding you sexy. How are you supposed to build a mature, respectful relationship on that?
You have only one body. Time will pass whether you like it or not; whether you lose 20lb or not. So you can waste away your time being miserable–which will affect everyone around you esp. your baby–or you can at least be neutral. If you’re sending out only negative vibes to the universe, you’ll attract only negative vibes (“The Secret”). Love your body because it is what holds the ‘real’ you. Love your body because it gave you your daughter. What it looks like is inconsequental in the greater scheme of life :)
First of all you very well may be dealing with post-partum depression. It would be helpful to talk to your doctor about that and consider joining a support group. Especially one with teen moms. Secondly, I do understand how you feel about your body changing so much and not having control over it. I went through something similar during pubery, got stretch marks in all the places you mentioned except my tummy(my first pregnancy took care of that though!LOL!). I also felt no one would ever love me. But you know it has never been an issue in any of my relationships! And remember, even the girls who have so called perfect bodies will most likely get stretch markrs etc. with their first pregnancy and will hopefully be loved without condition as your boyfriend loves you. The only men who reject women because of stretch marks, or saggy boobs (i have those too:) or whatever are men who aren’t worth your time! Honestly, do you want some shallow self-absorbed jerk or a REAL man that understands that real women have real flaws and are beautiful anyway and maybe even more beautiful because of them!(Angelina Jolies said of her twin tummy, that Brad thought her body was more beautiful now because of the journey it had taken … now thats a MAN!) Lastly, you do look lovely! You have a beautiful shape, some would say to die for! Your streth marks are the coolest I’ve seen … like flames. By the way, theres nothing sexier than confidence. My daughter has stretchmarks like I had and whenever someone asks what they are she says “they’re stretchmarks, arn’t they adorable?” Take care and please be kind to yourself!!!
You have the teeniest waist I’ve ever seen on a 4.5 week postpartum lady! Shoot I was pretty satisfied with how I looked (“coming to grips with a cesarean”), but your body puts me to shame. If it weren’t for the stretchmarks and the cesarean scar, I would have never guessed that you had a baby. And the marks WILL fade. I’m only 7 months post partum and I have a hard time seeing mine some days. If you rub vitamin E oil on your scar every day it will keep it soft and stop it from getting stiff.
Here’s a good way to know if your boyfriend really is lying or not. Walk into the room where he is naked (or topless) and watch his instant reaction. I can almost guarantee you that his face will light up. And believe me–it’s hard to fake a reaction like that without any warning. You ARE sexy, and he’s not lying. Most men–and almost all men worth being with–actually find a mother’s body pretty darn sexy…or so I’ve been told.
You’re one hot mama! (And your baby is precious!). I hope you can work on your self esteem because you deserve to be proud of your shape!
I have the same kind of stretched mark on the same place over my navel, accept mine has an intersecting “trio” of stretches, so it looks like a Trident.
You are beautiful as a mother, and a worthy man will recognize that. Stretchmarks are only stretchmarks, and they are there because you bore life into the world! What could be more beautiful? :)
The stretch marks are going to fade A TON and exercise will help you feel better, if you get in the best shape of you life and your stretch marks fade a ton you can be confidant enough to wear a bikini again! I thought I would never wear one again but I rocked a bikini all summer! My photo’s don’t do my stretchmarks justice, but they were super red/purple, super deep and super wide, a year later with a little bit of a tan you can hardly notice them. (here’s my before and afters https://theshapeofamother.com/blog/what-6-months-of-weight-training-can-do-ashley/)
BTW the stretchmarks on your stomach actually look kinda cool!
I graduated last October for Heether’s comment.
WOW! Seriously, I know EXACTLY how you feel. (except I dont have a boyfriend) But everything else I completely understand what your saying and I feel the same way..Its really hard to except this “new” body especially when you just realized how much you miss and appreciate your old body. Find friends who are your age and you can talk and confide with. That’s helped me a lot!! I have stretch marks just like you. It hurts to feel so ugly and unloveable. I recently just got motivated to work out. I know I’ll never wear a bikini again but that doesnt mean I cant have an amazing body and be super toned..I want to do it for me..I want to feel accomplished..I want to know that I worked HARD for my body to be the way it looks and be proud..I want my son to know that his mom feels good about herself. And my boobs—They’re a lost cause. I’ve been nursing my son for a year now and I’m completely lopsided! I’m looking into implants once I stop nursing. Because I’m a single mom I feel like I should look my 100% absolute best..for myself and my son. You’ll eventually feel better, it takes time I’m not gonna lie. But just remember..It could be worse!
You’ll look great in no time..find some good friends who are moms who you can talk to, exercise not only slims you down but gives you endorphins which are mood enhancers, and enjoy your daughter..they grow so fast!!<3
way to go lindsey :)
those are the things that really matter, trust me, Iam 30 years old and going BACK to school to get my marks and all so I can become something I want to be , not be stuck at a shitty min wage job, my body isnt perfect after 2 kids and thats fine, I eat well and can run a marathon,lol…
and honestly be happy yur only 17, the world is in the palm of your hands right now, it wont alway sbe this way, take advantage!
men come and go, and at 17 ( no offence) the guy your with now, prolly wont be the guy you are with at 30! lol
Lindsey,
I was 16 when I had my daughter. I felt the same way you do! I hated my body (because of my strech marks), and I was afraid no one would ever want to be in a relationship with me because of the way I looked. I am now 23, and have been married for 3 years to a wonderful man (who is not my daughters father). I still have strech marks (that have faded a bit) but my husband says that I am beautiful! I never expected to hear that, but you would be suprised to how little strech marks matter to a person that loves you! You will find someone that loves you, so don’t feel down, you are not the only person who can no longer wear a bikini :) but I promise you’ll be okay, and you’ll learn to love the way you look. You are just going to have to accept it!
Best of luck!
Oh, my, god! You look unbelievable already! You have regained your gorgeous flat tummy so quickly! Stretchmarks fade, you have more than half the battle won trust me! Congratulations on your gorgeous body and adorable baby :)
Holy cow your tummy is so FLAT!!! Unfortunately stretch marks are a part of motherhood, no matter how you spell it. They do fade. That takes about a year. Thankfully a busy baby really makes that time fly!
You are one brave and intelligent 17 year old. Work out, get firm again, you’ll heal. There’ll be marks but so faded you’ll barely notice them. Trade that bikini in for a cute tankini, a gorgeous daughter with a healthy self image, and an education. You sound like you have a lot to offer the world besides beach candy.
Hi Lindsey! I had my daughter when I was 17 years old as well. I know how hard it can be when you’re so young and feel like your body is “wrecked.” It’s not… just different. I’m 23 now and my baby girl is 6 and I also have a son who is 3. I still look in my mirror (especially during swimsuit season) and sometimes want to cry, but trust me, it gets better. I will never look like I did when I was 16, but my boyfriend doesn’t want me to. He loves me and thinks I’m sexy, and when your boyfriend tells you he thinks you’re beautiful, believe him because guess what? Your body did the most amazing thing a body can do and THAT is beautiful. You look awesome, and the stretchmarks fade. It will take time to accept your new body, and new doesn’t mean bad. For all the things that make me uncomfortable (stretch marks, extra skin and yes, the darkened larger nipples), I finally wore a bikini last year. You know what? Nobody stared in disgust :) I want my son to know what REAL women look like and I want my daughter to learn that beauty is in what my body has done, and although it’s okay to wish that I could widdle away inches or erase some stretchmarks, that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with me. You’re beautiful and just give yourself time. Not everybody comes home from the hospital totally okay with themselves. Good luck girly!
Your daughter is soooooo cute!! SHe is perfect looking! Anyways, I am 21 and I felt the same as you but I am now 17 months pp and my stomach looks like a completely diff. stomach then what it looked like at 5 months pp. I also had a c section. You will feel diff. when you hit 1 year trust me! Just wait it out. Also, you still look great. Here is an attachment to my entry.
https://theshapeofamother.com/blog/7-months-pp-after-10lb-6oz-baby-krystal/
I know how you feel! I love my sons, now 2 and 4, but I still feel like it was an unfair physical price I had to pay for them. I’ll say the things I have realized:
1) Things will get back in line with how they were before. The marks fade, the nipples lighten, the tummy goes down… it takes time. Will it ever be exactly the same. No, but they get better.
2) Exercise will help! It helps your mood and it will help you get back to caring for your body and feeling fit and strong. Don’t focus on weight loss, just focus on reclaiming your physical independence. It is also a good chance to take time for yourself.
3) You have to learn to love yourself and your body – obviously easier said than done! Hating your body will make you miserable, and will damage your relationship with your boyfriend. You have a very long life ahead of you, and all that toxic feeling about yourself will deprive you of happiness you deserve.
Good luck!
Hi, I agree with all who are saying that the stretchies will fade. Also, I think you’re overlooking all the blessings you’ve received physically, namely your skin is actually fantastically toned and tight- i can’t believe you only had your baby a month or so ago! if you research some more you’ll find that most women complain about loose skin more than stretchies, and you don’t have this! i know it’s hard, but please don’t waste these years of your life worrying and for heaven’s sake you could wear a bikini today and you would still be one of the “hot” girls at the beach! also, my husband has stretch marks from puberty and I cannot describe to you how little i care about them, i honestly could not care less- he’s a babe (as all my friends point out) and your boyf thinks you’re a babe too! take care.
First, I’ve got to say..you’re daughter is beautiful. And I love her name. I got pregnant when I was 17, had my daughter, Sadie at 18, married at 18, and divorced at 19. I was so insecure about my body and I always thought my husband was lying to me when he said I was beautiful. There’s so many beautiful girls out there..I didn’t believe he could actually think that. I’ve never been a thin girl. I weighed 140 when I got pregnant, and that’s the best shape I’ve ever been in. I now weigh 196..and I’m finally doing something about it. I too feel like nobody will ever want to be with me because I feel so ugly. I know you don’t feel this way because its not what you’re used to..but that picture looks great. Like everyone has said, your stretchmarks will fade. And you’re still a very thin girl. I on the other hand have let my body image issues get to me..and I’ve gained weight and I look horrible. Reading some of these comments have made me feel better..these stretchmarks I have are from growing and nourishing my beautiful baby girl. I hope you can accept your new mom body, and we all know, its easier said than done.
My heart goes out to you. 5 years ago I was in your position exactly, though I was slightly younger. I know just how you are feeling,and so many other women out there feel just the same way. My relationship with my daughters father ended when she was 1.5yrs old and I to, didn’t think it would be possible for a man to ever find me attractive again. This gave me motivation, I lost weight, I ate healthy, and exercised. I met a great guy and we’v been together for 3 yrs, and engaged for 2. I still remember my pre baby body, and miss it sometimes, but I feel like a woman now, and wear my streach marks proudly, and have realized that I am hot, I am sexy, but any man that is with a woman for those reasons alone isn’t worth it. Try and remember, they will fade, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and honestly you look GREAT for 1 month pp. Chin up girl
Heether…that is not something to say to anyone…let alone someone who is already so upset. I had my first child at 20 (pregnant at 19) and him and I are married and have been together 7 years…true love does exist Lindsey…and if he is the one then you will be together forever :)
It’s me, Lindsey, the person who’s in the pictures and wrote all that stuff.. Thank you everyone for your comments, it means a lot to me to know that their are other people out there who feel the same way as I do.. Some times I just feel so alone..
and to Shannon, the comment above me, thank you for noticing that, I didnt really want to hear that either, because me and my boyfriend are doing great right now. I dont want to hear that we might not be together in the future, come on now, lol. jeeze… (me and him are in it for the long run, really long run…)
Lindsey, babe, I wish I could hug you. I cried so many times about my post-baby body, but I finally found something that helped. I was on babycenter.com and found a comment on a blog post where the woman shared that she was dealing with the same body issues as everyone else- stretch marks, belly skin, carrying weight in all new places- except that she had lost her baby when he was only a month old. I thought I was having a hard time adjusting to my body- but at least I can hug my daughter when I’m upset. Her story is in the pink text in the comments below this blog entry: https://www.whattoexpect.com/blogs/blogiaryofamadblackwoman/depressed-about-postpartum-body.aspx?xid=nl_YourDailyNewsletterfromWhattoExpect_20100304
And also, I married a man who is the product of an unplanned teenage pregnancy, and his parents are still together 30 years later- stretch marks and all.
Stay strong and hug your baby :) You are the perfect mommy for her!
Hello.. I am on the same boat your on. Except you look a lot better than I do! lol… I became pregnant at 16, and had my son at 17, just like you.. I was 130 pounds, and now I am at a shocking 150… I need to lose weight but it is so hard now, that I am a mommy… Those strech marks will go away, I had a lot of them also, and now they are byebye. Good luck.
You look amazing in that pic for only 5 wks PP! You are obviously a strong, smart, and determined young woman. You have a lot going for you – a beautiful daughter, loving boyfriend, etc. I bet you that your stretch marks will have faded so much in 5 or 6 months (maybe less) that you will hardly notice them at all. You are beautiful; keep your chin up and enjoy your adorable daughter :)
You look wonderful mama! I wish I looked like that at 5 weeks pp. I’m one year pp with my 2nd child, and still look 6 months pregnant! I’m sure your body will go back to normal…. but for now, the way you feel is normal too. If you’re sad about what you’re going through, that’s okay. I’ve been there too… still am. It could also be PPD, which is okay too. You’re normal, beautiful, and you have a beautiful baby girl! Congratulations!
hi i read your story and everything you said reminded me of me i got pregnant at 17 had my baby when i was 18 i hate my body and love my daughter i was a size 13 and now im way higher than that and i cry and cry and the weirded thing my baby was born the excact same day december 23 just a year before she was born 2008 so when my daughter was turning 1 your baby was born and i too had a c-section my number is 801 815-5193 text me
hey
i completely feel your pain, but unlike you, i’m not a mother.
i’m 17 and have stretchmarks on my hips, top of my thigh, inner thigh, the back of my thigh and behind my knees.
when i first started getting them i thought it was cz i was putting on weight so i’d excersise but that made them worse and i’d end up with more.
i’ve tried creams and scrubs but nothing works
it gets me down but i don’t have the excuse of mother hood. i hate my body and i hate myself because of them. i’m never going to be confident and i feelas if noones ever goin to want me.
apparently noone cares about them as much as we do
boys especially.
but you in your picture of after pregnancy you look great.