Author: Bonnie (SOAM)

Teen Learning to Love Her Body (Faith)

Bonnie (SOAM) Adoption, Belly, First Pregnancy, Plus-Sized Mom, Postpartum, Pregnant, Sexual Abuse/Violence, Submissions, Teen Mom, Update 82 Comments

I was 14 years old and dateing this 16 year old guy. we were going out for about 2 months, and he invited me over to his house while his parents where away. i was kinda sketchy about it, but i trusted him, so i decited to go to his house. while we where in his basement, he asked if i wanted to have sex. I told him that i’m not ready yet, and he just kept on asking me. he promised he would use a condom. he finaly got me to, and he got ontop of me. after about a minute, it didnt feel right. i could then tell he wasnt wearing one. i tried pushing him off of me, but then he started to get aggressive and held me down. i told him to get off of me, and he said that if i didnt let him finish, he would tell my dad i was sneaking out with him and doing drugs (which i smoked pot once before that. and i DID end up getting caught anyway.) so i was in shock, and about 10 minutes later, he got off me. i was disgusted, and just left. i called him up the next day and told him im breaking up with him. i was afraid to tell anyone of what had happened.
a month past, and my period was late. i started getting morning sickness. i was going out with another boy when i found out i was pregnant. he was the first person i told, and he said that if i didnt get an abortion, he would break up with me because he didnt want to be embarassed by having a “fat” girlfriend. he was my only friend at the time. my dad never spent time with me, and my mom had passed away about 3 years before that. my brother was moved out of the house, and i was a lone.
the day after halloween, i sat my dad down and told him i was pregnant. he went out and got a test, and i took it it came up “pregnant”. at that point, reality hit me. i was going to have a baby. i was going to have an abortion. i thought i would do it before i started to show. that night, i realized im resposible for 2 people now. i fell in love with the baby.
i told my boyfriend im leaving him before he left me, and i was going to give birth to this child. so he was gone. a long time friend came around, and we started talking a lot. his name was dustin. i finaly told him about 2 weeks later that i was pregnant. he was in shock. i had told him what happened, and he was there for me. (and now were dating (: )
i decited i needed to give my baby up for adoption. i wanted to keep him, but i wanted him to have a dad and a mom that will be there all the time for him. me and my dad found a couple through an agency. loriston and lisa where their names, and they were the perfect couple i have ever seen. we met up with them. they were so nice. i chose them.
i went into the 20 week ultrasound, and guess what? ITS A BOY!!. i was so excited. the family was also excited.
on june 18th at 7:11 i gave birth to a healthy 9lb 10 oz baby. we named him Torren Dwane Reed.
this is me at 40 weeks 3 days (a day before being induced. june 17th, 2009) :

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this is me now at 15 years old (1 week 1 day post pardum):

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the mom gave me a teddy bear from build-a-bear workshop that if you squeeze his chest, you can feel a pulse of a heart. they also gave one to Torren.
i love the adoptive family.

Updated here.

(Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Tattoo 9 Comments

I am just about 6 months PP..

I did not gain but 20 pounds or so in my pregnancy (first and only so far..)
I found out I was pregnant at almost 9 weeks.. Delivered at 38..
And I must say it was the most amazing experience in my life.
Made it all the wawy through with out any pain medicine, and then at 10cm
I started to get a migraine (which I’ve been dealing with since I was about 5 years old)
I was trying to tough it out, but I was falling asleep during pushing, and pushed for about
3 hours.. And that’s when my nurse contacted my doctor to see what she wanted to do with me..
We both knew my birth plan was to delivery completely natural..
It came down to her giving me 15 more minutes otherwise she was going to have to change something..
My doctor advised my nurse to give me some pain meds to help me rest for a few minutes, had that for 30min-45min..
And I told her that I really didn’t want it anymore, she said I take it out and give you another 15 minutes to push,
if no baby, then we will try the vacuum or it’s going to be a c-section.. I thought to myself, I CAN DO THIS!
The nurse suggested trying to push lying on my side.. WORKED LIKE A CHARM! SHE POPPED right out!

On January 3, at 4:22p my beautiful baby girl, Brookelyn was born, and my husband was right at my side the whole time
helping me as much as he could.. He told me he was very impressed by me being so calm (he told me before
I gave birth that I was going to be screaming the whole time) Never snapped once! :P HAH

Within the month after I gave birth, ALL of my weight came off! I figured it was the breast feeding..
I breastfed till recently, and now it has stopped, I think that if I don’t start to work out, I may start to gain the weight back..
I was all belly, and didn’t start to show till about 6 months, so I got stretch marks all in the end of my pregnancy..
They are still a purply-redish color.. Seems like they are taking longer than most peoples to heal up..
Unless I am doing something wrong..?

Picture 1: Wedding day… (5.5 months or so)
Picture 2: 16 weeks pregnant
Picture 3: Another picture while pregnant (almost 8 months)
Picture 4: Pre pregnancy
Picture 5: Pre pregnancy
Picture 6: Pre pregnancy
Picture 7 & 8: Post pregnancy (5/6 months)

Elephant Belly (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 17 Comments

When I was pregnant with my second baby, everyone thought I was having twins, I was so big. It’s just that I have a short torso and am skinny so there was nowhere for the baby to go but out….. way out. Hence the extra skin. Or elephant skin as my older sister affectionately calls it (she has it too). I wasn’t nearly as large with my first pregnancy and only got a few stretch marks with that baby. (First baby was 7 pounds at birth and right on time, second was 9 pounds and 2 weeks early!!!) But I’m wondering if anyone else has had experience with this much extra skin and knows anything about whether it will go away or not or if there’s anything that will help minimize it??? I don’t mind it so much because I never particularly liked to show my belly in public before I had stretch marks and then elephant skin but it is a little annoying and I’m just wondering if it will be hanging around (literally) for the rest of my life. Thanks for the cool website and showcase for my hard earned flab! LOL

You may also choose to include:
~Your Age: 28
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2 and 2
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: Kids are almost 3 and almost 1.

New Found Respect (Skye)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Eating Disorder, First Pregnancy, Homebirth, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Tattoo, Update 8 Comments

25 years old
First pregnancy

I never knew how strong I could be until I became pregnant.. it is a journey unlike any other!
I started off so nieve and unsure of myself as a woman, I slowly started to listen to my body and follow my gut instincts.. I had all these pre-conditioned beliefs that had been built over the years about pregnancy and birth, but as my belly grew I discovered a deep inner strength and wisdom and from this I was able to have an amazing birth experience.

I had a beautiful, drug free water birth at home, I went into labour the previous evening and little Indi was born at 10.27am the next day weighing 6.2 lbs.. I am still blown away by it all! I never knew I could make noises like that!!! My midwife was wonderful, she just let me go with the flow of my body which I am so thankful for as I was then not expecting anything and I was just in the moment.. and in doing that I was able to let go of being self conscious and just really get into it!

I wish I could recapture the feeling I had when I brought Indi out of the water and held him.. that feeling of complete bliss and total love, I was totally amazed that he was actually there.. in my arms! for a while I thought he would never come out!

Giving birth has finally opened my eyes and given me a whole new perspective of my body, after coming through a battle with bulimia/anorexia that had engulfed my whole world for many years I am able to look at my body with a smile, I feel so proud of what it is capable of, truly impressive!!! I’m not worried about my hubby seeing my jiggly thighs, cellulite and now very stretched boobs, I feel like I’m beyond judgement, we are creators, life givers and deserve to be seen as nothing less than beautiful regardless of what marks were left behind..

photos:

#1- 9 days before giving birth
#2- little contraction, funny shaped belly!
#3- about 3hrs after giving birth
#4- happy little family
#5- a week or so later
#6- 12 weeks after birth

Updated here.

Rebuilding the Body (Annie)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, PPD - Postpartum Depression, Submissions, Suicide or suicidal thoughts 16 Comments

Age-21
Children-1 (a 2 year old)
C Section birth

I want to thank you for making this site. It is so wonderful to know I am not alone, because here in person I really am. And I thought I was. And I am so excited to read everything on here and see that I am not.

Pregnancy was supposed to be the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me. But I felt like a bad person because I hated every minute of it. I had morning sickness from the day I found out (8 weeks along) to the week after I had my son. I was a small girl that liked showing off my body. I was over weight when I entered puberty (almost 200 pounds at 12 years old) and I worked so hard to loose the weight. I finally got down to 110 pounds when I was 17 and I loved my size but I still felt like I had so much to work on.

I moved out of state to the other side of the country to be with my sons father and he did his best to make my pregnancy comfortable. It was hard making friends. All the girls that were my age with kids were not very good parents at all. They all had great bodies with little to no stretch marks and left their kids with their mom all week long to go hang out, party. I thought I would bounce back as fast as them when I had a kid. I was so wrong.

I gained 100 pounds with my son. I had a high risk pregnancy because I hadn’t gained any weight from all the throwing up. I was put on a diet that blew me up. I got so big, I have stretch marks all down my legs, the back of my calves, my tummy, and my sides.

So there I was, 19 years old, a size 14, 210 pounds and depressed. My husband (35 years old) told me that he loved me inside but my outside was a turn off and he couldn’t make love to me. He slept with all my “friends” and would constantly turn me down, telling me they got in shape fast and I should too.

I was so depressed. He left me saying that I was a downer and was turning his life sour. I am still torn up so badly over it. He made me feel like my body was worthless, like I was less of a person because of how I look. I hated myself so badly. I was so hard on myself. I moved back home, and my friends that had kids came by to visit. All of them back to their old size only 2 months later, and without a stretch mark on their bodies. I got so depressed I . It was a big turninhad tried to kill myself. I felt like I didn’t deserve to live, no one would ever want me because my body.

It was a big turning point in my life, where I decided I needed a real change.

I have worked hard on my body since then. I have a great stretch mark remedy that I practice often (derma roller and vitamin e cream and body scrub, it works pretty well!). I am now at 140 pounds, a size 7 (or 9 sometimes but I seem to have a permentent muffin top in anything I wear) and I am doing my best to stay happy and positive. I still break out in bouts of depression over my body, but I have an amazing new boyfriend who has been my best friend for years, and I have a great 2 year old that means the world to me. I hope one day I get into a bikini again. I think I will. But it is going to take a lot of love from myself and hard work to do it…

Now I am 21 years old. My son just turned 2, and I am thinking I might have another one, but not for another 5 or so years.

UK Mummy, Thinking About Doing it All Again! (Charlotte)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions 5 Comments

I am a 31 year old mummy to my very gorgeous 11 month old son. He is my first child conceived on my honeymoon!

I was never sure that I wanted children but when I met my husband and realised he was the one then my feelings changed, particularly as he was so excited about becoming a daddy.

I have always had a few body issues, I watch my weight and exercise regularly and stayed in the gym till 6 months pg and then swapped to swimming several miles a week. I am 5ft 11 and was 147 lbs and very fit when I feel pg. I wore a british size 8/10.

I had a good pg, no problems and although I was careful; I still gained close to 50lbs! I was shocked – I ate very carefully and exercised loads but the weight still piled on.

I went a week overdue and gave birth to a strapping 9lbs 1oz boy who is without a doubt the most fantasic thing that has ever happened to me. My husband is a wonderful father and I love being a mummy.

I got back in the gym 6 weeks after he was born and am now 11 months post partum. I am back to my pre pregnancy weight and just need to keep working on shaping up really. I feel very lucky, I did not get stretch marks and, apart from a little loose skin on my tummy and my boobs being a little softer, I feel back to normal and I don’t think I look much different from when I started.

In fact, we are now trying for number 2! Can’t wait and hope I am as lucky this time round.

The pics are me, today, 11 months post partum and the final one is me at 41 weeks looking HUGE!

Learning to Love My Body After a Loss (Lissa)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Child Loss, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 11 Comments

I’m mom of 2 living Children and 1 child who died shortly after birth. My youngest and last child was born at 30 weeks. She was a preemie. And I spent many weeks in the hospital prior to giving birth. I felt like my body failed her for the longest time. I was so uncomfortable in my own body. I felt hideous and disfigured. Why could so many women have all their children with no problem and my body led to my child’s death.

I started getting comfortable in my own body recently. And I’ve shed all worry about what other’s think of my body. I’m a mother to 2 beautiful children on Earth and 1 Breathtaking Angel in Heaven who lived for 23 days. I’m happy with my body now. It’s been 2 years since my daughter died.

I truly believe EVERYONE is beautiful. I’ve got huge stretch marks on my stomach, they are my badges and they show my love for my children. My breasts are sagging from nursing and from pumping while my baby was in the NICU. I’m pock marked from acne and I’ve got numerous large moles but I AM beautiful. No matter what anyone else says. I truly don’t think anyone in the world is ugly. I see beautiful in all people, big or small.

Namaste

Lissa

~Your Age: 24
~Number of pregnancies and births: 3- 2 living children
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 5, 3, and 2 years

Thanks SOAM – 6 Months PP (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Belly, Breast or Body Art, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 8 Comments

My Age: 31
Number of Pregnancies and Births: 1
Age of child: 6 months

Pics I attached: The henna belly picture is at 38 weeks, the two naked ones and one of my daughter are 6 months post-partum.

I started lurking here before my husband and I were even trying to have kids. I have to admit; at first some of the photos were a bit shocking. I’m a victim of this culture just like anyone else, and it was sometimes uncomfortable to see exactly what women look like through pregnancy and motherhood. I started checking for new posts daily, and it didn’t take long for me to find the beauty in every single photograph. It’s amazing how social norms work – for or against us sometimes – and it took some exposure and familiarity – and soon I realized how inspiring each mother really is. Thank you for teaching me what it looks like to become a mother. It changes each of us inside and out – and there is something stunning about the power and strength of what our bodies can do. For me, visiting this site helped me prepare just as much as any book I was told to read when I got pregnant. I am in awe of every woman who posts here. We all go through pregnancy and birth on our own journey, and each of us struggles in some way or another with whatever changes come with that path. My husband, bless his heart, said he thought I would make people jealous if I posted on SOAM. (God, I love that man!) I had to explain to him that I struggle with the changes in my body just like all the other women who post here, and he really missed the point of what it means to share images here. I am part of this club, even if I didn’t get stretch marks. We are all “normal” – whatever that word means – with whatever degree of change or level of comfort we have in our own skin. The point is to do our damn best to celebrate each other as women and shed light on the beauty that comes with so many shapes and sizes of motherhood. My body is just a vessel for what is really inside of me, and I’m proud it served me well to grow and nourish a healthy little girl. I’m still working on truly accepting some of the changes, but I wouldn’t trade being a mama for anything – and it’s so worth it.

12 Years Later (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 4 Comments

I’m 36 and three months pregnant with number two!! I’ll be 37 at delivery, so I’m technically an “older mom” although I don’t feel like one. My son Zac is 12, so I spaced them out a bit :) I actually posted here a few years ago, just as I was starting to think about having another baby. It’ll be fun to take this journey again as an older and wiser momma. My first pregnancy was awesome, and this one will be awesome plus 12 years. 12 years of gaining insight on things that matter, and calming the hell down about things that don’t. This site helps us all to do that I think. I just felt compelled to include you among my friends to share the happy news with. Here’s me and the new kid at 12 and a half weeks.

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