Children-1 (a 2 year old)
C Section birth
I want to thank you for making this site. It is so wonderful to know I am not alone, because here in person I really am. And I thought I was. And I am so excited to read everything on here and see that I am not.
Pregnancy was supposed to be the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me. But I felt like a bad person because I hated every minute of it. I had morning sickness from the day I found out (8 weeks along) to the week after I had my son. I was a small girl that liked showing off my body. I was over weight when I entered puberty (almost 200 pounds at 12 years old) and I worked so hard to loose the weight. I finally got down to 110 pounds when I was 17 and I loved my size but I still felt like I had so much to work on.
I moved out of state to the other side of the country to be with my sons father and he did his best to make my pregnancy comfortable. It was hard making friends. All the girls that were my age with kids were not very good parents at all. They all had great bodies with little to no stretch marks and left their kids with their mom all week long to go hang out, party. I thought I would bounce back as fast as them when I had a kid. I was so wrong.
I gained 100 pounds with my son. I had a high risk pregnancy because I hadn’t gained any weight from all the throwing up. I was put on a diet that blew me up. I got so big, I have stretch marks all down my legs, the back of my calves, my tummy, and my sides.
So there I was, 19 years old, a size 14, 210 pounds and depressed. My husband (35 years old) told me that he loved me inside but my outside was a turn off and he couldn’t make love to me. He slept with all my “friends” and would constantly turn me down, telling me they got in shape fast and I should too.
I was so depressed. He left me saying that I was a downer and was turning his life sour. I am still torn up so badly over it. He made me feel like my body was worthless, like I was less of a person because of how I look. I hated myself so badly. I was so hard on myself. I moved back home, and my friends that had kids came by to visit. All of them back to their old size only 2 months later, and without a stretch mark on their bodies. I got so depressed I . It was a big turninhad tried to kill myself. I felt like I didn’t deserve to live, no one would ever want me because my body.
It was a big turning point in my life, where I decided I needed a real change.
I have worked hard on my body since then. I have a great stretch mark remedy that I practice often (derma roller and vitamin e cream and body scrub, it works pretty well!). I am now at 140 pounds, a size 7 (or 9 sometimes but I seem to have a permentent muffin top in anything I wear) and I am doing my best to stay happy and positive. I still break out in bouts of depression over my body, but I have an amazing new boyfriend who has been my best friend for years, and I have a great 2 year old that means the world to me. I hope one day I get into a bikini again. I think I will. But it is going to take a lot of love from myself and hard work to do it…
Now I am 21 years old. My son just turned 2, and I am thinking I might have another one, but not for another 5 or so years.