52 and Utterly Depressed (Anonymous)

Hi lovely ladies it has been some comfort to me reading your stories tonight, I am 52 and have 3 children, 31, 27, and 15 yrs of age. I was always a lovely C cup until I had my first child, whilst still fitting into a C, the top of the bra was unfilled.

2nd child not too much difference.

I had my 3rd child later in life age 37 with my new man who didnt have children, never seen a pregnant tummy and had never seen the aftermath. Sadly after this birth my boobs just caved in on themselves, they are horrid, I still cant stand looking at them 15yrs on. About 10yrs ago it really got me down, hubby says he loves me the way I am but one day when he was less understanding he said to me ‘why can’t you just accept that you are down there and not like an up there 18 yr old’.

I guess his frustration of me going on about my grievance got the better of him, but that was doomsday for me, so he thinks they are awful too. I have never gotten over this, when we are out I see him looking at other woman, one cannot help it these days, boobs are in your face so to speak. He actually lost conversation the other day when a woman walked passed us in the supermarket, I continued on with our conversation and he said to me ‘I have no idea what your talking about’.

He works in the mines with loads of promiscuous young ladies, I’m really at wits end. Now I have hit menopause and dont even feel like a woman, I feel like shaving my head and cutting my boobs off so I havnt got the burden.

I absolutely hate myself and hate myself for hating myself.

Our marriage is almost in ruins because of this.

I tell him that when men wear their cocks on their chest and some have enhancements that will make him feel embarrassed compared to what he has then he may understand. Life is not reality anymore, men dont see fake, or proportion, they see BOOBS and dont give a hoot where they have come from. I have even contemplated suicide but wouldnt do it to my children.

I feel so selfish.

2 thoughts on “52 and Utterly Depressed (Anonymous)

  • Monday, January 11, 2016 at 4:30 pm

    I am 36 with one child, and (I think) close to marrying a man 10 years my junior who is fairly fresh out of college. His line of work keeps him in amazing shape (seriously, he legit has the body of an underwear model), and throughout college, the prep for his current career saw him with many women in similar amazing physical condition who were on the same career path as he. He had no shortage of romantic encounters before he met me, and I’m positive he’d have no problem picking up any number of women in a bar now, if he wanted to do so. But he chose me. Me, with the stretch-marked, flabby belly that he plays with as he cuddles me in our bed each night (he says it’s comforting, lol). Me with my ridiculously large, not-so-perky, nipples pointing more down than up these days, matronly (or so I feel) boobs about which he exclaims “they’re just so BIG, they’re spectacular!” Me with the crows feet and smile lines that he kisses before he leaves for work each morning.

    I have many days when I feel inadequate compared to other women, especially since virtually ALL of our female friends are ~10 years younger than myself and in the sort of shape that ranges from Victoria’s Secret model to competitive bikini fitness model. I know he looks at other women. He’s a man, and I truly believe they are just biologically hard-wired to do so. But they are also human and capable of self-restraint and–more importantly–love. Love is so much more than the packaging a person happens to arrive in. He LOVES me, as I’m sure your man does you. He doesn’t just tolerate or settle for my body as it is, he celebrates it. He shows me how amazing he finds my body every time he comes up behind as I’m cooking and squeezes me so tight I have trouble breathing. He shows me how sexy he thinks I am every time he gets hard from little more than my touch. Every time he comes for me, in that moment, I am his goddess.

    It’s hard to look in the mirror and not enjoy the view. Many women who send stories to SOAM would see me and roll their eyes. As crappy as I feel about my body since having my daughter, there are countless women who would [figuratively] kill to look like me, and I can say with certainty, even though I’ve never laid eyes on you, that the same could be said about your body, too.

    So give yourself a nice long hug. Accept one today from the man who loves you. Accept that you AREN’T 18 anymore, and that’s perfectly fine. It doesn’t mean another woman is more deserving of love because her body has not been on this planet as long as yours. When we gain years, we gain substance, and THAT is what people fall in love with <3

  • Friday, January 15, 2016 at 2:50 pm

    Ashley, that was a beautiful response. Thank you so much for sharing.

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