Depressed and Confused (Anonymous)

I am 21 years old and pregnant with my 3rd child, I had my first when I was 17 and second when I was 19. I am currently engaged to the father of these three beautiful babies. But things are rough. I am so uncomfortable with everything about my body. Before I got pregnant I was 115 pounds, after I was 160 I stretched everywhere and I have so much extra skin on my belly it just hangs and even though I’m 6 months pregnant now it’s still there. After being pregnant the first time my areoles stretched so much, I’m still uncomfortable having my fiancĂ© see my breasts. He tries to joke about it because they sag, but it really just hurts. I can’t take it as a joke because I feel disgusting and he doesn’t understand. He just says if he doesn’t care what I look like then why should I? But just to have your body change so much and none of your clothes fit at all.. It’s heartbreaking. I go months without leaving the house at all. Not even to the grocery store. It’s been like this for 3 years. I cut myself secretly for a long time because I dont know how to deal with the pain. I feel like nobody understands, over the summer everyone would ask me why I dressed the way I did.. We would go to the beach and I would wear an oversized t shirt and men’s swim trunks. I don’t even own a bathing suit. I would love to have a daughter but I am terrified that if I do she is going to go through what I am now. How am I supposed to teach her to love her body when I can’t love my own?

One thought on “Depressed and Confused (Anonymous)

  • Sunday, January 10, 2016 at 5:57 pm

    Sadly I know what you mean .. I only have one and I gained so much weight and now all I have is loose skin that jiggles and looks like a lump, I too feel depressed. But you should love yourself for who you are. And because you have given life. There are swimsuits out there for everybody’s body shape. I wear a one piece that makes me look like an egg lol I think it’s about attitude though there was a lady at the water park this weekend that was a little bigger then me but some how she managed to pull off a two piece and she look good in it . I think she just doesn’t care what others think .. I wish I could be like that. … Cheer up. Don’t cut yourself it’s not worth it. Trust me been there. Try and find a different outlet. And if your partner loves you and is supportive ask him to help you loose the weight after you have this baby. I know it’s easier said then done. I have a supportive husband but it’s so freaking hard. Good luck! Cheer up.

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