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Feel alone, but trying to stay positive. (Sophia)

December 19, 2011

Its been 4 months since i had my baby boy , hes my everything my whole world, But i cant help feeling so upset about my body now and could really use somone to talk to, Im 18 years old and had my boy by c section its left me whole body in a state i feel disgusting, i look at other mothers and see that i look the worst out of any of them and i just wonder if i will ever look okish again, I am no longer with my babys dad and i just wonder if anyone could ever love somone who looks so hideous, I plaster my face in make up and have hair extensions just to make some part of me look decent at all, i used to be so outgoing but now i just think people are staring and i get so worried about it, I just want to feel confident again. I love my little boy and i wouldnt change a thing, just want to feel happy in my own skin and not want to be desprate for surgery. :(

Mother of one

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17 Responses to “Feel alone, but trying to stay positive. (Sophia)”

  1. Dee Says:
    December 19th, 2011 at 9:27 am

    I’m 18, too. I had my daughter 13 months ago. My body changed with pregnancy, also. I got some stretchmarks on my stomach and on my ass/hips. At first I was most upset about my stretchmarks, but they’ve faded so much it’d be silly to worry over them so much. I did use Mederma Stretch Mark Therapy for 3 months starting when I was 3 months pp and I think it really helped. Now I’m terriblyyy upset with my breasts, though. They’re still perky, but shrunk from nice C’s to tiny A’s. I can’t wait til I have the money to get implants, just so they can be close to my prepregnancy size again.

    Enough about me, though. Do you already have a work out regimen? If not, that’s what I would recommend to feel better about yourself. Don’t worry about how many calories you’re going to burn or weight you’ll lose from working out, just try to get your body working. I loved going for walks after having my daughter. I started out just around the block and eventually walked around 2 miles. Eating right is great, too.

    I’m sure it’s hard not being with your baby’s daddy anymore. Almost all the girls our age with babies that I know are single, too. My guy stuck with me, but I feel for all of the young, single mothers out there. You’re giving your all to your son and I don’t know your situation with your baby’s daddy, but he’s obviously not cuz he’s not there.

    Keep your head up and remember that you’re not alone. Thank you for posting. You actually made me feel a little less alone today, too. :)

  2. MJ Says:
    December 19th, 2011 at 10:26 am

    hello!! i was 19 21 and 24 when i had my kids my youngest is 7months old im currently 25 pounds away from my high school weight but even if i get there my body will never look the same!! ive got the mommy apron love handles saddle bags saggy boobs flaby legs and arms lol!! oh and over 500 stretch marks i counted once when iwas bored… but my SMs are faded and my body is starting to tone up again!! After my first baby was born i wore sweat pants and layers of shirts terified someone might see my tummy i still wear an undershirt im very self consious of my tummy but its 100 times better than it was right after delivery!! your a gorgeous young lady and a great mom so focus on your self and your son and dont worry what others think of you!! good luck i think you look beautiful!! your definately not alone so never think you are!! hugs!!

  3. Melissa Says:
    December 19th, 2011 at 11:03 am

    You and I have quite a few similarities. My daughter was born 14 months ago, her father and I are no longer together, and I too had a c-section.

    My best suggestion is to find something that you enjoy, and try to make some time for just you. I know that sounds really difficult especially with a baby but it is doable. Finding something that you do simply for the enjoyment of it, is key to help feeling better about your PP self. Another thing is to accept that your body is a work in progress. Try to remember what wonderful things it has accomplished and that it takes time, and sometimes what seems like a long time to get back to some semblance of your old body. I am 14 months PP and still have 18 lbs to lose. Don’t beat yourself up mama, you are beautiful, and take joy in doing the little things for yourself and snuggling up with that little boy. They are only little for a second it seems like.

  4. Mandy Says:
    December 19th, 2011 at 11:24 am

    yes but you have to do lotsa of cardio, like 2 hours a day.

  5. Lamina Says:
    December 19th, 2011 at 12:06 pm

    You look great mama just work out it will make u feel better, ulook pretty darn good 2 me being a stick is not sexy, cute or fun btw most men love a nice ass!

  6. B Says:
    December 27th, 2011 at 8:02 am

    You are beautiful…you will find someone that believes that too…have faith and patience. Try to take care of yourself emotionally, and don’t be so hard on yourself. I pray that you will find the peace you need to be comfortable within your body.

  7. claudia Says:
    December 27th, 2011 at 3:15 pm

    Sweetie I’m 20 and even after loosing all my baby weight and even 40 lbs pre pregnancy i still look worse than you…would you like to be friends on fb? Look me up by name Claudian Susana ..I’m looking foward to talking to you and being your friend and seeing pica of that lovely baby that your body brought into this world <3

  8. Sophi Says:
    December 27th, 2011 at 5:10 pm

    Thankyou so much everyone for those comments its nice to feel like your not alone which i do sometimes because i waste my time looking at other peoples picture perfect bodies and i no its seems silly. I do go to the gym at couple of times a week so far i have seen no improvement at all so im going to keep at it and try to stay positive about this jelly belly situation :P and im hoping the strechmarks will start to fade :)
    Big big hugs to all you wonderful people xxx <3
    Also claudian i cant seem to find you on fb :/

  9. claudia Says:
    December 27th, 2011 at 11:44 pm

    Would you like me to find you? I know why though i misspelled my name its claudia

  10. Sophi Says:
    December 28th, 2011 at 11:41 am

    Yeaah find me Sophie Cole :)

  11. jenny Says:
    January 2nd, 2012 at 11:19 pm

    You are so young! at 18 you have young metabolism and all you need is the desire to work to get in shape. It will work! all you need to do is be consistent. Besides, after 4 months don’t expect miracle. you just gave birth for christ’s sakes! take it easy.

    It’s great to have kids young, it’s really the best of both worlds. I tried many work outs and the one I found most effective (as well as not requiring any tools) is t-tapp. It’s fabulous!

    All the best, you have all your life ahead of you, please don’t get depressed!

  12. Stefani Says:
    January 7th, 2012 at 3:10 pm

    Had to double take at you, your tummy looks like mine!
    I was 25 when I had my son, 27 now…. And when I take about being upset about it, my new boyfriend says , looks fine to me, you had a baby in there :)
    So….. Looks fine to me…. You had a baby in there :)

  13. Heather Says:
    January 19th, 2012 at 3:03 pm

    Your belly looks EXACTLY like mine did 4 months after having my first baby! I was so miserable, and I used to tell my husband “it’s a good thing I married you, because I would never be able to get a man looking like this.” I didn’t lose a single pound after having my daughter until 4 1/2 months, when I went back to work and my old routine. I started working out (weight lifting) and counting calories to try and lose weight, and it took awhile, but I got back to my old weight and my old pants, just in time to get pregnant again. This time around I had a boy, my top weight was ten pounds less (mostly because I was sick), and I am a lot smaller pp now than after her.
    My point is, don’t give up. I was in a place of despair, feeling ruined and desperate to feel good abut myself. I won’t ever wear a two piece again, but I know I can back to my old pants, and you can too. It takes more than 4 months to lose the belly!

  14. Chelsea Says:
    January 26th, 2012 at 2:02 am

    I think u look great for just 4mos pp! My doctors (2) and a Nurse practitioner all told me that it took each of them 2years to grt back to their preprefnancy weight and they each have 2 children. They all said they have stretch marks and one even showed me hers on her stomach lol. For me to hear it from drs made me feel better, afterall they know exactly what to do to ear right and get into shape. My dr also told me that it took 9mos to put on the weight and stretch to prepare for that baby and itll take atleasr that long,usually twice that long,to get ur body back or atleast as close as we can to it. Remember that ur body did an amazing thing,YOU MADE A HUMAN! :) and take it slow and u will start to feel better

  15. Emily Says:
    February 2nd, 2012 at 10:54 am

    Being a new mom is very isolating, but stay strong. Take care of yourself and don’t worry about what others think and your confidence will begin to grow. Try to let your natural beauty shine and be comfortable with who you are without the makeup and hair; your soul is more important than the frosting you put over it. All you do to improve yourself will shine through your son and make him a better person. Maybe try to find some mom groups in your community to make some mom friends. That saved me from isolation when I became a new mom. Love yourself and take care! You are beautiful inside and out and when someone sees that, they’ll be worth your time.

  16. Francesca Says:
    February 3rd, 2012 at 4:20 pm

    Hi, I just want to tell you that you are a beautiful young women. I know how hard it is having a newborn, and comming to terms with your new body. I will say that it will get better it takes time, sure some people seem to be able to just bounce back and it’s hard not to compare yourself to them. But don’t, it does no good to compare yourself to others it’s a waste of precious energy. Somthing I highly recomend is the dvd 30 day shred. It takes just 20 minutes a day and you really get results from it. You have to stick with it though because the first few days you are so sore but that goes away. It really helped me get back in shape. Even better it only costs 8 dollars and you can do it when your little one takew a nap.

  17. Jessica Says:
    May 2nd, 2012 at 4:45 pm

    I Also had my baby boy at 18 and had a c-section 5 months ago. My belly looked Exactly the same as yours does in the picture. It still has some flop to it but I’ve been doing situps, pushups, lunges, wall sits, etc.. and I already feel/see a difference. My lil guy is 5 months old now and like I said I still have some of that baby fat. It takes you almost a Year to gain all that weight while prego and it will probably take a year if not more to get it all off, but you can do it! You just have to be productive and stay motivated (:

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