Third Pregnancy

Mom of 3 (Amanda W)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Children with Health Complications, Diastasis Recti, Postpartum, Submissions, Tattoo, Third Pregnancy 4 Comments

I am a Mom of three wonderful children. 2 girls and a boy. i was 20 years old when i conceived my first, and she was born weighing in at 9lbs, 20.5 inches. i grew several cup sizes, and gained about 40 pounds, which i havent lost yet. shes 10 now. my middle child is 4, she was 7lbs 14 oz, born at 38 weeks, and a ball of fire. my little boy is now 10weeks, and was 10lbs 4 oz 21 inches at birth. he was born with an imperforate anus (his rectum and anus didnt connect) his was a mild case, and he is mending well, although he scared the crap out of us (pun intended LOL) when he was born. my last 2 were c-sections, my first was a vaginal delivery.

i am 31
3 pregnancies
10 weeks postpartum of number 3, 10yr old, 4 yr old

Proud Mother of Four (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Update 6 Comments

Growing up I was always the “skinny pretty” girl and was this without having to try. I ate what I wanted and never exercised a day in my life! Although I was involved in extra curricular activities, none of those were sports!

I became pregnant at 17 and had my first son at 18. He was 8lbs so I wondered what the rest of the 58lbs was from! I went up to 188lbs! After having my son, I became obsessed with him. I didnt leave the house for months and didnt care much about my appearance. My life was there in this newborn baby. I was in a awful relationship which did nothing for my self esteem. I began college driving 1 hour to and from it 5 days a week and with my son only being 3mths old, I had no time to myself. I was about 160lb during this time. This is when I heard the comments that never in my life I had heard. “Youre kinda chubby, huh?” “Your butt is big!” or “OMG, you gordita (chubby).” It was worse when my 2 y/o cousin became frightened and said “Someone scratched you!” as she stared at my stretch marks, when my shirt when up.

After 2 yrs, I left the relationship and dropped down to about 145lbs. I then began to date my now husband. My weight then fluctuated about 20lbs here and there. 10mth later, I became pregnant. So my starting weight was about 166 and my ending pregnancy weight was 208!! Im 5’2′ so this was just horrible! I then became stuck at about 180 for a while. About 2 years later and 3 months after marrying my wonderful husband, Iwas now weighing about 160, we adopted a newborn girl. 6mths later I found out I was expecting. So I had my 6y/o, 1 y/o, 6mth old and now preggo!

My starting weight was about 170 and ending weight was 216!! From all these weight gains and losses, my stomach is just mush, my breast (or flaps as I like to call them) are just deflated and my butt is hail damaged. My baby is now going to turn 3 and I said enough is enough. These pictures are 2.5 months into my weight loss. Beginning weight was 192 and I am currently 169. I have lost 4 inches from my hips, 6 inches from my waist and 3 from my chest. Although I know my breast will never be perky and my stretch marks will never disappear, I have just began to feel good about myself. It has ONLY taken me close to 11 years!! I have struggled with confidence all these years. My husband tells me everyday how beautiful I am and believe it or not, my 2 year old saw me uploaded the pics and said with a gasp “you’re pretty mommy” and thats enough to melt my heart and make me feel like a supermodel <3 29 years old 3 pregnancies and 3 births 10 (soon to be 11), 5, 4 and 2 (soon to be 3) [gallery] Updated here.

13 Years and Still Have Body Issues (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 4 Comments

I am 39 going to 40 in 3 weeks. I have been pregnant 5 times and have 3 wonderful children, son 18, daughter 14, and daughter 13. I was in the Army for 8 years. (I got out when pregnant with my 3rd child). I joined the army at 18. I was 22 when my son was born. I weighed 140 lbs before I had him and 130 after. At 26, after my first daughter was born I didn’t loose the weight like I had before. Then I got pregnant again and knew that things would never be the same. I loved being a mom and wanted to be a better mother so I chose to leave the military when I was 3 months along with baby #3. I often wonder if I had stayed in would I have been able to loose the weight. I currently weigh 200 lbs. I struggle with my body and think I should look better. I know how to exercise and what I should eat, I read all sorts of books and try this program or that one. I tell myself it is genetic, all the women on my dad’s side are large. I think what message I want my teenage girls to see. I pretend that I am ok with how I look but deep down I know I am lying. I wish I had appreciated the way I use to look and get mad at myself for feeling that way. I do not want to say it is a daily struggle but I is often in my thoughts. Sometimes I think I must just be to lazy. Other times I think that life just got in the way and other times I just don’t care.

I look at the few picture that I have of myself and think how slowly my weight went up. I didn’t even really notice until I was in a size 18. I see myself 20 years ago and think that was a size 9, 15 years ago and that was size 6, 10 years ago size 14, 5 years ago size 16. I keep thinking that I heard once we are suppose to worry less about appearance the older we get and I wonder what age that is because I haven’t reached it yet!

It is not about stretch marks for me it is about the numbers. I weigh 200 pounds! If I had trainers and personal chefs and a driver to take my kids around like the stars do maybe I would be able to get that number down but right now I am in the real world. I have kids to drive around, cooking to try and fit in, work and house work and all the other things that go with life.

Maybe one day I will feel differently. I think this web site is a first step.

Unlovely: Round Three (Mir)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Child Loss, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Update 2 Comments

Previous post here.

Age: 29
Pregnancies: 3
Births: 2
Children: 4-years-old & 1-year-old

I last posted here in August 2009. A lot has happened–that’s how it tends to go in life. I lost a lot of weight but the saggy/baggy tummy I had never went away no matter how more fit and thin I got. In the spring of 2010, I suffered a miscarriage. It was awful. For some reason, my sense of self–especially my body concept was really affected by that miscarriage. My husband and my relationship was not going well and I was so desperate for someone to tell me that I was beautiful that I got into some things I soon regretted. Thankfully, there is forgiveness and we’ve moved on from that time. But, it still was and is painful. I got pregnant again in the summer of 2010 and my daughter was born in the spring of 2011. It was a much easier pregnancy and birth with a lot less post-partum depression. But, here I am with the same darn saggy/baggy tummy. It doesn’t shatter my world as much as it once did but I really am seriously considering a tummy tuck and breast lift after I’m done breastfeeding my daughter. My husband really wants to have more children but I don’t want to wait to get my body back. So, I am not sure what’s going to happen with that. Lately, I’ve just been feeling so sad about the state of my belly. I’ve been in pilates 3 times a week for the past 6 months and have gotten a lot stronger and healthier but still my stomach shows no difference. Just makes me feel like crying. Sometimes I just feel really unlovely and unlovable. I’m only 29 but my body looks so terrible. I guess I’m just afraid to inherit my mother’s body. She always hated her saggy/baggy tummy–she had a lot more extra weight than I have, though. I don’t want to be old before my time and that’s exactly what my tummy looks like to me.

It’s OK to Feel Beautiful (Jennifer)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Plus-Sized Mom, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 17 Comments

age 23
4 pregnancies/ 3 births

I am a 23 year old mother of 3 children ages, 6,4 and 2. I gave birth to my oldest at the young age of 17…Even then I was overweight… Not nearly as big as I am now, but chunky none the less… I had given birth vaginally 3 times in 4.5 years… I barely had any time between pregnancies to get my body in shape… I used to hate myself and I was ashamed of how I looked. I remember looking at myself in the mirror and just crying looking at myself. I was embarrassed when I would go to the OB and have to pull up my shirt to show tons and tons of stretchmarks covering my belly and sides. Not to mention having to have anatomy scans done in the hospital rather than in office because the machines weren’t strong enough to get a clear shot through all of my extra belly fat. I can remember the embarrassment during labor and having to be naked in front of practically everyone in the room. I remember thinking ” I wish I were thinner, I KNOW I wouldn’t be so embarrassed” or thinking that everyone is in disgust with my body…

Right before I gave birth to my youngest, my husband cheated on me for the 4th time.. I had allowed this behavior over and over again because I didn’t feel deserving of love and true happiness because I didn’t love myself. And each time my husband got with another woman, it pushed me further and further away from myself and bringing more disgust and hate and blaming my looks for him straying…

It’s been 2 years since I have given birth and I am 80lbs down from the 378lbs that I was when I delivered. I separated from my husband and I have met the man of my dreams, the one who I always though I deserved. Someone who truly loves everything about me( even my weird toes :P)He showed me that I am allowed to love myself and that there is someone who finds everything I find imperfect about myself, perfect. He makes me feel like a princess and I love him so much…

I feel fabulous. I love who I am, I love every little stretch mark, I love my voluptuous shape, I don’t even mind my cellulite.. All these years I had been telling myself I am not allowed to love who I am and think I am beautiful because of my weight.. But now I know I was wrong. I was beautiful then and I’m beautiful now.. Size does not equate worth, or love, or beauty..

Saggy boobs, mommy pooch, wide hips even my stretchmarks.. They’re beautiful.

My Body is Sexy to Me (MJ)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 3 Comments

I’m 25 years young! My kids are 5, 3, and 11 months old! I was 18 when I got pg with my DD delivered her at 41 weeks when I was 19! Got pg again at 21 with DS! He was born on his EDD with a clubbed foot and has some learning delays I love him so much even though, some days are more challenging than others! DS #2 was delivered at 42 weeks when I was 24!! I would love to have another baby we are not using protection but I’m still nursing and haven’t started ovulating yet, I enjoy every minute of motherhood it’s amazing! I’m 5″8 weigh 177 I’d like to lose 22-23 more I’ve been working out and eating healthy my body isn’t that of a 17 year olds anymore but I don’t want it to be im 25 I want a curvy sexy mommy body I’ve earned it! Yes I have stretch marks saggy boobs and a mommy apron and I also have 3 wonderful kids! I think it was a fair trade! I use to be upset about my body but I decided I should pull my big girl pants up and go on with my life and make a conscious decision to love my body everyday and it’s helped! I’m not a drop dead gorgeous model, I’m a mom I’m a wife and I live my life to make my family happy!! Oh Just nursed baby before these pictures so my girls are a little flabby lol!!

~Age:25
~Number of pregnancies and births: 5 Pregnancies, 3 births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 5, 3, & almost 11months

All three pic are 10 months & 3 weeks pp from baby #3!

Me & My Body Against The World! (Amber Gallant)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Child Loss, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 6 Comments

My Name – Amber Gallant of Motherhood, Etc.
Age – 23
Pregnancies – 3
Births – 1 – Conor Kaige, 5 years old, via cesarean section.
1 year postpartum, technically.

When I was 17 years old, I found out I was pregnant. I was scared but I knew I wanted to be a mother more than anything, so my journey began.
At 21 weeks, I was diagnosed via ultrasound with Incompetent Cervix and rushed into MacMaster Children’s Hospital for emergency surgery. My cervix was funnelling and dilating, and I was having silent contractions. If I hadn’t had the ultrasound to determine the sex of my baby (a beautiful little boy) I would have lost him forever. Incompetent Cervix has no signs, and the only way doctors can diagnose it normally is by a previous loss. I am grateful every day that they caught mine when they did, and that they were able to successfully place a cerclage (a big ass stitch in my cervix to keep it shut tight and keep baby in!). I was put on strict bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy. I was unable to do more than go to and from appointments, use the bathroom and make a snack. At 17, my entire life was my baby. I gained 45 lbs over my entire pregnancy, weighing in at 165 lbs when I went in for my scheduled c-section at 38 weeks. My little man was breech.

After I had him, I struggled with post partum depression. I was convinced I was a terrible mother, but at the same time I tried and tried to convince myself and others in every way that I was more than just a “teen mom”. My thoughts were, they all already think I’m going to fail so I have to do everything within my power to prove them wrong. Which meant that i never asked for help when I needed it, fought for months with severe exhaustion due to my sons monstrous colic, and barely ate. I easily went back down to my pre-pregnancy weight, but that didn’t make my stretch marks any better. I couldn’t wear a bikini or a belly top of any of the cute styles other girls my age were wearing because I had a big scar, flabby stomach and stretch marks everywhere. I had them all over my boobs, my thighs, my butt, my stomach, my sides, even my calves. Big, deep, purple stretch marks that made me even more self conscious than I had been previously. But, I had a baby to raise and I kept on keeping on. Eventually, I met my husband, the love of my life. We got married and I got pregnant, and we were happy.

I was worried about gaining the weight back, but he reassured me that he would love me no matter what.

When I lost baby Caithrin at 15 weeks, even with the stitch (it was due to placental abruption), we were devastated. I was so angry at the world, and even more angry at my body. I felt that as a woman I should be able to do what I was meant to do, create life, and since I wasn’t able to do that and my body KILLED my baby that I was worthless. I slipped into a deep depression for a short time, but with my husbands help we made it through and had hope for another pregnancy and a healthy, full term baby.

After a year of trying to conceive again, we finally became pregnant! I had good vibes all around about this baby, and we did everything right. I took it very easy, had my cerclage placed at 13 weeks and everything was fine. We even decided to purchase a beautiful bassinet that we found because it was antique and I fell in love with it. It was pure bliss. We were going to be parents, I was going to have a baby with the man I love and everything was wonderful again!

When I started bleeding in the middle of the night at 18.5 weeks, I was rushed into the hospital yet again. After a week of hospital bed rest, I delivered my son Lucas. He was so tiny, and they asked if I wanted to hold him but I couldn’t do it. I was exhausted from enduring a painful four hour labor to deliver a dead baby, and I just wanted to sink into the ground and never open my eyes again.

I became very depressed again and gained a ton more weight, including the weight that I gained during my pregnancy. I used food as a crutch to make myself feel better, and it ended up making me feel worse. For the past few months I have been easing myself into a much healthier lifestyle, I eat right and exercise every day, I jog three times a week and I am finally at peace with my body. It may not be able to make any more babies, and it may be all marked up and imperfect from everything I have been through but it’s a beautiful, strong body. A body that has gone through major surgery, 4 spinal epidurals in 6 years, 3 cervical stitches, a massive blood transfusion that was crucial to keep me alive, numerous needles and medications and tests is a body that deserves to be celebrated. I’m not saying I don’t have bad days, I certainly do, but they are getting fewer and fewer. I am learning to love my body for what it is, and what I want it to become.

After all of this, my husband and I have decided not to try for any more children. We have our five year old son, who my husband treats just as he would his own son, we have four crazy pets including a Jack Russell Terrier who is convinced she IS my baby, and we are a happy family. It’s not worth the pain and stress for us to keep trying, and although it took us a long time to get here we have come to terms with the fact that a baby just isn’t in the cards for us. My son was my miracle, and he is enough.
Thank you for listening to my story :)

This is what my body looks like today, 5 years after my first full term pregnancy and 1 year after the loss of my last baby.
This first picture showing my face is before I started working out and running.
The others are to show how my stretch marks and belly look today. You can see the stretch marks on my butt in the last one. I am very self conscious of those and still cannot wear a bathing suit comfortably. Please excuse my dirty mirror, I’m much too busy taking nude pictures to clean today ;)

(Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Postpartum, Submissions, Tattoo, Third Pregnancy 2 Comments

24 year old mother of three 5 years postpartum I wish i was wiser and did not scratch those itchy stretchmarks being that i was only a child myself, my first pregnancy choices as far as my tummy goes. weren’t the best I Have had all birth’s delivered by c section. I Have forfitted my youthful figure with childbearing. I excercise, when i have time but have are hard time with bellyfat. Recently got my tattoo hoping id feel sexier, but really want a tummy tuck.

Will I ever learn to love my body? (Jen)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 6 Comments

32 years old, 3 pregnancies, 2 children, 6 and 4 years old, separated last year

I am trying to learn to love my body again. I am mostly still embarrassed by it and feel disgust when I look in the mirror. I am proud of the fact that I have lost almost 70lbs over a year ago and have kept the weight off. I did that with the help of a personal trainer. Although most days I still feel like I’m overweight.

I have a wonderfully supportive boyfriend now who tells me I look perfect and that he wouldn’t change anything about me. I just wonder everyday if I will ever get over these in securities that are constantly in my mind.
Reading other womens stories here has really helped me feel like at least I’m not alone in this!

A Low Point (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 35 Comments

Age: 38
Number of Pregnancies: 3 pregnancies, 3 births
Children: 5, 3 and 13 months
13 months post-partum

I’ve been reading this website for quite some time and am just gathering the courage to post now. I have always been a fit person- I never had issues with my weight, although I’ve always felt unattractive. I’ve had self esteem issues my whole life due to being teased about my largish nose and always being taller than anyone in my class. I also grew up with significant body image issues. Even though I was fit for my height and age (12 years old), I was encouraged to lose weight by my ballet instructor when I expressed interest in becoming a professional. When my parents decided to sign me up for modeling school, I was told at age 14 (at the time I was 5’9”, 135 lbs.) that I needed to lose at least 30 lbs. if I ever wanted to make it.

I grew up mostly living with my grandparents which is screwed up in its own way, but my grandmother shaped how I thought an attractive woman should look. When she was young, she looked like a movie star or a 1940s pinup girl. She was always large breasted and curvaceous, and told me when I was a little girl that I would look like her one day. Well guess what didn’t happen. When I was a teenager she would always comment that I was too skinny and needed to gain weight so my breasts would grow. She would also buy bras for me that were too small so that my breasts would be pushed up and appear larger.

So I truly did not gain acceptance of my body until I reached my late 20s . Then at the age of 32, I had my first baby. It was one of the best times of my life, I truly enjoyed being a mother and everything seemed right with the world. I did not have issues with my postpartum body at that time because I had very few stretch marks (mostly low on my belly) and my breasts didn’t change much after breastfeeding. After I had my 2nd baby it was a different story. More stretch marks crept up to my belly button and now there was sagging and stretch marks evident in my breasts after I weaned her at 13 months of age. I did not have time to focus on it much, though it did depress me, because my daughter had significant health issues that required surgery at 6 months old.

However, 13 months after having my last baby, I am totally devastated by what my body looks like. My breasts have totally deflated ( I finished bfing 1 month ago), one breast is almost 2 cup sizes bigger than the other and the stretch marks are so deep that my breasts look like they’re 80 years old. My husband is very supportive and tells me I’m beautiful all the time, but whenever I catch a glance at my naked body I actually feel disgust and shame. I wish I could say that I admire it’s ability to create and carry my wonderful children, but I just cry. It’s gotten to the point that I don’t want to have sex with the lights on anymore because if I look at my body while we’re making love, I end up crying when we’re finished. I don’t want this to ruin our sex life and I feel like my body shame impacts my mood almost daily. How do I get past the negative thoughts that nag me day and night, and how do I get to the point where I don’t feel like crying everytime I see myself naked? How do I get some confidence back? I want to feel sexy again for my and my husband’s sake!