Submissions

Beauty = Found! (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Butt, Eating Disorder, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 10 Comments

Age: 21
# of pregnancies: 1
Weight pre-pregnancy: 110 lbs.
Weight gained during pregnancy: 50 lbs.
Weight 3 years post partum: don’t know!

I stumbled on this website quite by accident but I am SO glad I did! It is so important for women to see images of REAL bodies, especially mothers.

My relationship with my body has changed dramatically since I first got pregnant at age 18. I’ve struggled with eating disorders off and on since I was 14. When I was pregnant, I ate healthily for once and gained a decent amount of weight. My daughter was a large baby, 9 lbs. 7 oz. My labor and delivery were amazing experiences. I breastfed her for 13 months while going to college, which allowed me to eat healthy and maintain what I deemed an acceptable body.

I relapsed into disordered eating a few times after weaning my daughter. However, I have recently gained an enormous amount of self esteem. I’ve gotten my happiness and confidence back. I eat what makes me happy and I haven’t weighed myself in about 6 months. I’ve also been eating disorder free for over 6 months.

My body is perfect just the way it is. There are stretch marks on my thighs, breasts, hips, butt, and tummy, and I don’t care. The greatest thing another mother ever said to me was, “Honey, the guys I date don’t care about stretch marks,” when I asked her if she was ever afraid to be naked in front of men. Her confidence in herself has remained a model for me as I grow, both physically and spiritually. The good men will see the beauty in ALL of you.

I proudly nourished my daughter with my body. I wear a bikini with confidence. I enjoy uninhibited sex and intimacy. I advocate for women to love and take care of their bodies and I teach my daughter the same. She is young still but she will know that women deserve agency over their own bodies, not society. I teach her by example, showing her that learning, having self confidence, being creative, caring for others, and eating GOOD food is so much more important than constantly worrying about what we look like.

Life is just easier when you love yourself!

My Story (Erin)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breastfeeding, First Pregnancy, Infertility, Postpartum, Submissions 12 Comments

I am a 23 year old mother to 5 month old Claire. My journey began with the heartaching realization that at this young age, I have fertility problems. Fighting not only with doctors who would help diagnose and treat a young woman with PCOS (polycystic ovaries) but also fighting with myself, with my body- for failing me. I felt cheated… My body was a place of disgust and distrust. Throughout my fertility journey- I had to learn to see it in different light. To be kinder to this woman in the mirror… to learn to love her, because she was going through an awful heartache yearning for her babe.

Moons later, we conceived our first babe… I was shocked and also terribly scared to be happy. So afraid that since it was hard to get pregnant- I expected nothing to come easy… But soon my belly grew, my body stretched and gave way to LIFE.

These images are so many things to me… I feel awfully proud when I look at them, because I see the same woman said and wrote such heart wrenchingly sad things about that body… I see the woman who started learning to accept her flaws. I see a young woman who is happy, confident, and strong… who carried, gave birth, and nourishes this delicious little babe. I see someone beautiful.

At moments, I feel incredibly vulnerable about these images. But I feel like they hold power- and I hope mostly- that they will help someone else to feel a little bit more compassionate towards their perfectly imperfect body.

This story was featured over on Glamour Magazine!

Fire Marks Almost Four Years Later (Cheri)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 9 Comments

In two weeks my moon face girl will four years old. I remember being madly in love with her father and asking the Goddess to let us have a child if it were meant to be. 9 months later there she was. I don’t recall the birth much due to a sedative they gave me during labor which had a side effect of temporary amnesia. I do recall the first time I saw my postpartum belly. Looking down at it and saying “what the hell is that?”. No one had prepared me. In the next few months I struggled with severe post postpartum depression. Every day remains a struggle. Some days I think I’m smoking hot. Other days I’m embarrassed to be in my own skin. I don’t think I began to feel comfortable with my stomach until the day I got a free massage and apologized to my yoga teacher who was studying to be a massage therapist for my stretch marks. She looked baffled and told me she thought they were beautiful and that they reminded her of fire. I took her words symbolically to heart and try my best to think of them as marks of power that carved the gift the universe bestowed upon me. Some days are still a struggle. Especially with a divorce now in the works between moon face girl’s papa and I. For a while, I didn’t believe anyone but my daughter when they told me I was beautiful. Some days I still don’t. But how can I not think this body that birthed my amazing child isn’t beautiful? She’s awesome. She is worth every mark and every cup size I have fluctuated these past years. Every that came from her has brought meaning to my life… She inspired my career path. She continues to inspire me. These marks and saggy breasts are a reminder of her. It’s a reminder that no mater what I do or where I go she’ll be with me forever. Pictures included are breasts, stomach close up, stomach sucked in, and a slightly not so close up of stomach and body…

Age:23
Pregnancies:1 Births:1
Child’s age:4 in two weeks.
Postpartum: 4 years in two weeks.

My Body the Hand Grenade (Suzi)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 9 Comments

Age: 28
Number of pregnancies and births : 1
Age of my child : 14 months
Height and weight before pregnancy 1.60 cm tall & 49 kilos.
Weight after pregnancy: 45 kilos

I found out that I was pregnant in the beginning of Febuary in 2009. It came as a suprise to both me and my boyfriend but we decided to keep it since both of us took the stance that it was supposed to happen.
Being pregnant was never easy for me and I really loathed it. I think a big missconception about being pregnant is that it is something every single woman love and is emotionally and physically prepared for from the get go. Its just a thing that girls are born with. For me being pregnant was hard emotionally and I felt so horrible as a person that I wasnt one of those who loved it. Everyday of my pregnancy I struggle with my emotions . I felt really hideous eventhou I didnt gain alot of weight or got any stretch marks on my belly but the stretch marks on my hips (I’ve had them since I was 14 simply because I developed very fast during a period of two months) was itching like crazy and became red and irratated. All in all I gained about 9 kilos but it was hard on my body since Im not a big girl from the beginning.
My belly didnt grow big except for the two last months of the pregnancy and even then it was not considered big BIG. My mother in law even joked that baby must be hiding really far back clinging to my spine since I was still considered tiny for being 8 months pregnant :). I gave birth to my beautiful son on October 19th. The delivery took three hours and went well. I dropped most of the gained weight during the delivery so I had about two or three kilos left to shed afterwards. However when I looked at myself and my body in the mirror I was completly shell shocked in a very negative way and Im still down that road. Somehow the pregnancy and the difficulties I had with the pregnancy plus being without emotional support gave me a very disturbed body image and triggered a massive amount of hatred against how I look. I am struggling every day with trying to see something beautiful with my body and my looks but Im drawing blank. I’ve never had any issues with that when I was younger , I had a very healthy and postive view on myself, but this is really getting to me. When I see my body I see so many flaws and imperfections and it doesnt matter how much Im working out I cant see any concrete results (which I guess is because I’ve been staring myself blind plus being so full of hate against my outer shell). One of my biggest fears is that I will never grow to love my body and that I will never feel like my own person again. My boyfriend , husband to be , loves my body and tells me every day that he thinks Im the worlds most beautiful girl and that he thinks my body is smoking. I so wish I could see myself through his eyes. My biggest fear is that I will never love my body or feel like my own person again.
I am so happy that I gave birth to a healthy, beautiful , smart and amazing little boy and a positive thing I’ve learned through the whole thing is , like the title of my story says, to never ever underestimate how powerful a womans body is.

16 Months Postpartum (Tessa)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 12 Comments

Previous entry here.

It is over 6 months later, and since my previous entry I’ve only been able to lose 10 lbs. My husband has had surgeries, I picked up a second job and am working 45 or so hours, 6 days a week. I cannot afford a gym membership, and wouldn’t have the time to spend at one. Since the beginning of the year, I’ve committed to getting more active and losing 10 lbs by April 18th. I’ve joined a Biggest Loser contest at my workplace to help motivate me. It is a struggle every day to find time to be active when there are so many more responsibilities – cleaning house, dishes, laundry (I cloth diaper as well), cooking and bedtime routines. After all this, I have sometimes 1 hour to myself before it is my own bed time. I’ve started 30 Day Shred and am doing it every other day. I also mix it up with some of P90X workouts. I find myself absolutely energized, in a better mood, and looking at my body in a more positive light after a workout.

I will never have a bikini body again. I have “twin skin” as I gave birth by cesearean to a 9 lb 13 oz baby – he was big enough to be two babies! My belly button is no longer, it is nothing but a hole hidden in the saggy skin and crease in my stomach. My stomach will never be smooth and nice to the touch ever again. Sometimes I find myself really missing how my husband used to run his fingers over my pre-baby belly. He loves me, he says I’m beautiful, he doesn’t ever dream of looking at another woman, he despises the pressure on women to have a perfect body, but the fact remains: he does not run his hand over my belly anymore. It is the section of my body that he avoids when we are intimate. I’ve never told him I’ve noticed, because I don’t blame him and I don’t want him to feel guilty.

99% of the time, although I am displeased with my body, I don’t feel immensely sad or depressed about my shape or weight. I guess the really only times I get really, really down about my body is when I’m shopping and pass by a really thin, great looking mom pushing a 5 month old around in a cart. I always ask myself “Why did *I* have to be so fat and ugly after a baby? Why couldn’t I have been one of the lucky ones to just bounce back?”

I really do not care so much about stretch marks or a little bit of loose skin.. my problem is the excess weight (which can be fixed) and the twin skin (which can’t be fixed short of surgery, which I’d never do). I’m young (20), this is my first child, I was so thin before… I used to think only people who have had twins or triplets, or 6 babies, looked the way I do.

Updated here.

Loving Myself (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 7 Comments

I had 3 children, close together and it took quite the toll on both my body and my mind. I’ve struggled with depression since my oldest was born. Shes almost 5 now. It has also taken me awhile to embrace myself; my body and see it as a part of my story rather than ugly and I think I’ve finally done that. My body is amazing. It can breastfeed, birth children. My body tells a story.

~Age: 23
~Number of pregnancies and births: 3 pregnancies, 3 births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 4.5yrs, 3yo, 19mths.

020711-anon-1

Trying to Accept My Body (MJ)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Butt, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 3 Comments

hello my name is MJ i am 23 years old have a beautiful daughter who is 4 and a handsome son who is 2 and i am currently 25 weeks pg with baby #3!! i have looked at this site on and off for over a year and it has helped my self asteem and my marriage so much so i would like to say thank you to all of you who post your stories and your pics of your HOT bods!! ive decided to post my own pics cuz i am comfortable with my body now its not perfect (it never will be) but its growing a baby inside of it and thats pretty freakin cool…. i am doing really well this pg with walking and not eating everything in site lol!! i am 5′ 8″ and weighed 193 at the start of my pg and today i way 202 (25 weeks in) i deliverd my daughter at 206 and my son at 198 so this will be the heaviest ill ever be at the end of this pg i would like to get down to 155-165 after baby is born. My weight and stretch M’s use to bother me so much but my hubby is awesome and tells me i am beautiful and he doesnt care bout my S/M’s he loves me for me the women he married and the mother of his kids!! so i couldnt really ask for a sweeter man! i hope my pics can help another person realize they are beautiful and deserving of nothing less than a wonderful self asteem and self worth!!

Ups and Downs (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Mom over 30, No Photos (Story Only), Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Vulva/Vaginal Damage 9 Comments

31 years old
kids ages 5 and 3

I am 5’2 and 125 currently.Previous to kids my weight was about 120-125.I am happy with my weight finally after 3 years! My first pregnancy I was all day sick for the first 3 months but after that things went well.Had a 7Ib 12oz baby but vaginal prolapsing after which is uncomfortable I guess you would say. Felt pretty good about myself a year after and 1 1/2 years after 1st baby got pregnant again. Second pregnancy went better but I was huge by the end and felt like I would have a bigger baby for my size.Second baby was 9Ibs 4 oz and here is where all my issues really begin.After my second I had hemorrhaging,vaginal prolapsing,internal tearing and 4th degree tearing through my rectum plus stretch marks and a sagging stomach-what a mess.I had a surgery 9 months and many embarrassing moments after the birth to repair the internal tearing and had an anal sphincter repair.I spent one year in physio therapy trying to regain vaginal and rectal muscle-let me tell you you put ALL modesty aside when you go through this.I was also booked in to have a tummy tuck because I hate how the skin hangs off my belly like pizza dough but my husband didn’t want me to go through anymore and at this point I guess I don’t either.Things are better yes but I know I will never be the same.I wonder sometimes why this all happened to me and I still get frustrated. Then I also think about how I have 2 beautiful children that I love so much and I am grateful, there are worse things because really I am healthy and I am able to do most everything still.I just really wish that there was someone else to talk to that went through the same things as me as I feel that no one understands how greatly this all has effected my life.

My Ever-Changing Body (Ashley)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Child Loss, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 12 Comments

Age 24
3 pregnancies 2 births
Children- 4.5 and 16 months

It all started when I was 19 years old. I found out I was pregnant with our daughter sometime during the end of August 2005. I was around 140-145 before I got pregnant with her and gained 51 pounds during my pregnancy, she was 10 days early. It took me awhile to start to lose weight. My daughter was around 18 months old when I finally started to exercise, I don’t know why I didn’t start sooner. I manged to get back down to my pre pregnancy weight and also lost an extra 13-15 pounds on top of that, putting me around 125-127. I was really happy with were I was at weight wise and I felt wonderful. Mind you, my daughter was about 2-2.5 by this point so it took a little while. I basically just walked a lot, became a vegetarian and eat really healthy whole foods as much as possible. My husband and I decided it was time for another baby, it happened faster then we thought, 2 months after trying we got our positive test but I miscarried that baby at 6 weeks. In those 6 weeks I gained 5lbs. So I went up to about 130. I was determined to get pregnant again, the next cycle we got another positive. I was scared but excited. I felt better with this pregnancy, it felt different. I was able to eat a good diet and drank lots of water and continued to exercise. I really didn’t want to gain another 50 pounds. My pregnancy went really well! A lot easier then the 1st and 2nd. I only gained 37lbs. Putting me at 167ish. About a week after my son was born I had already dropped 20lbs. I honestly thought it would be easier this time but I was wrong. I exercised as much as a could with 2 kids. My daughter was only a 3 years 3 months when brother was born. She still needed a lot of my attention and I was still breastfeeding her. I tandem nursed for 3 months. Then she was done. So my son is now 16 months old and a little more independent, still breastfeeding. I managed to get down to 132 and was really happy about that, but my thyroid is acting up and I’m back up to 139-140. It seems that my waist line and other measurements are going up .5 inch as well. I’m going to see my midwife on Thursday to discuss some things. I have been exercising and eating well and gaining weight. Very discouraging! It all started to go downhill after my father passed away in November 2010. I just started to wear my pedometer yesterday and I will be trying to walk 10,000+ steps a day and see if that helps.
I have always been very self conscious, it is so hard. I love having children and watching my body grow, but hate having to fit for it back :) Our plan is for me to get back into shape and start trying for our next in a couple months if God is willing!

Photo 1- 7 weeks pregnant with 3rd pregnancy
Photo 2- 41 weeks pregnant day of induction
Photo 3- 16 months postpartum
Photo 4- 16 months postpartum