Submissions

Healing Scars (Brandi)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Postpartum, Preemie, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 7 Comments

Brandi, 25, 2 pregnancies, 2 births, 3yo and 2mo

In 2005 I got married. It was a whirlwind romance and being 18 I was certain I was in love. He was kind, affectionate, everything you expect to find in your prince charming. We met in Febuary and were married in December. Less than 6 months later everything started going south. Before I knew it I was trapped in an abusive relationship. Every day was an onslaught of your ugly, your fat, your lazy, your stupid, and a neverending string of name calling. And when he would drink (3+ nights a week) it would get worse, turning physical on more than one occassion. I tried to leave but was brainwashed to think I couldn’t make it without him and that nobody else would want me. I was damaged goods. Four years later, when I did get the nerve to leave, weeks before I was going to skip town, I found out I was pregnant. The entire SIX months of pregnancy I was still under a gunfire of mental and verbal abuse. “Your lucky your pregnant or you would be going down the stairs”…not to mention the constant accuasions that the baby wasn’t his. During the pregnancy I got ONE stretchmark. On my tummy, to the right of my belly button. I cherished it. It was a constant reminder of my little one and the challenges we had to overcome. He was 12 weeks early, weighed 2lbs and was 15in long. 11 weeks in the NICU later he finaly came home. Best Christmas Eve of my life. My start weight was about 140 and at delivery I weighed 180. 6mo post partum and I still hadn’t lost the baby weight which was just fuel to the “fat lazy bitch” fire. 9mo pp an opportunity arose and I was finaly able to free myself (and our son) from his hold.

Just over a year ago, I met someone new. He is amazing. Good with my son, good to me, and all around good guy. And he doesn’t drink. At. All. 4mo into the relationship, I got pregnant. Wasn’t really an accident, but not planned either. I was terrified. After all the drama with my first being early, not losing the weight from him and topping it off with losing my job I didn’t know what would happen. But he has stuck thru. In September I gave birth 3 weeks early to a beautiful 9lb 2oz baby boy. I went from 180 to over 200lbs. My body has suffered horribly. I have stretchmarks on my breasts, my arms, my legs, and from belly button to butt crack on both sides. I feel horrible. I know it isn’t true but I can’t shake the thought that if I was unattractive (according to my ex) before, I can’t imagine how aweful I must look now. I’ve already lost the baby weight, but the skin is still there. My boyfriend tells me every day how beautiful I am, how he is still attracted to me, how smart I am…everything every woman wants to hear. But it just bounces off. I know it will never be the same as it was when I was 18 or even when I was 24. I’m slowly accepting my new body, and having a super supportive partner is helping. But is it a long process. I’m looking forward to the day when I can look at myself after a shower and say “I look good”

First Pregnancy (Hannah)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions 6 Comments

I was googling images of pregnancy and how the body changes because I am so horrified at how my body has changed, everything has got stretch marks and gone fat I’ve gained like 3 + stone and I can’t even look down because my belly depresses me so much even though my son inside I know it’s not his fault he’s ruined my body I just don’t think it will ever return to normality as its been stretched too far so I just wanted to share some pictures of my growing belly.. Maybe because like me I didn’t know how pregnancy would change my belly this drastically!

I didn’t plan this pregnancy I was with my partner 2 years and fell pregnant on the pill at 21 and have just recently turned 22.. It was a shock and I was so not prepared.. I’m currently 40 weeks pregnant.

This is just a post so women can see that the perfect pregnancy bump does not exist you will get stretch marks I have tried everything to get rid from baby oil, bio oil, palmers, sudacrem to (embarrassing) pile cream! Nothing will rid them so if you feel bad about your body don’t because everyone who’s had a baby has been through this, i just hope my body goes kind of back to normal.. I hope

34 Weeks Pregnant (Dallas)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions 7 Comments

34 Weeks Pregnancy

The name you want posted with your entry: Dallas

~Your story or thoughts if you want to include something:

I am currently 34 weeks pregnant with my first child. I am expecting a little princess. My pregnancy was a total surprise. The baby’s father and I had separated in late March of this year, and I found out I am expecting in April. We decided that it was in everyone’s best interest if we tried to work things out. We started with a clean slate, moved to a new house and got all new furniture. Things were going well. I had the nursery completely set up, clothes washed and unpacked. I was ready for my princess’ arrival.

Two days ago, he served me with an eviction notice. I was forced to leave my home at 3:30 in the morning. Our relationship was perfect by no means, but this was completely out of left field. I am utterly broken and bitter. 8 months pregnant, and no where to go.

I can’t help but feel the pregnancy is the cause. Not the child, but the pregnancy. I feel like the worst mother in the world, because since this happened I have felt completely detached from my baby. Normally, I love feeling her move and wiggle. But every kick, every roll, reminds me of her daddy. Reminds me of the heartbreak. It’s not her fault, and I know that. I love her more than life… But I feel like being pregnant has caused problems. My self esteem has disappeared since gaining weight and stretch marks. And my self esteem disappearing made me very uneasy about the relationship, causing tensions between us.

I love my baby. I want her to be here. I want to regain my love for myself. I want my family back.

I’m quite sure this post didn’t even.make much sense. But it feels good to get it out.

I took these pictures of my belly today…. There’s nothing more I hate about myself than these marks.

~Age: 20
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 34 weeks gestation

I HAte My Belly (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 6 Comments

I had my daughter almost a year ago, I have tried to do everything I can to get rid of the stretch marks and the flab HELP. anyone know any exercise, and i’ve used bio-oil it seems to do the trick. before i got pregnant i weighed 97.9 and then after i was at 158, and now i am to 115 but STILL have a gut! HELP!! I am only 20 should feel and look beautiful.

Question (Jilliann)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Submissions, Twins 5 Comments

Hi my name is Jilliann and I’m a mother of 7.All my kids were born by c-section.They were all pretty small.My biggest was 7lbs 1oz.When i got pregnant the last time i found out i was having twins(boys)I got really big with themNow they are here and are 5 1/2 months old.And i still like look im about due to have another one.Everyone always asks and it makes me feel so bad..I just wanted to no how you did it.How you lost that look???

Thanks jilliann

Heres a pic.Its not the best one but u can see my belly.I took it today.

Love/Hate Relationship With My Body (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 14 Comments

I was 18 when I got pregnant so being that young and still kind of dealing with the insecurities I had then didn’t help what was going to come along with pregnancy. I hadn’t started really gaining weight till about 5/6 months then I shot up in weight. My pre-pregnancy weight started at 150/155 I ended with a weight of 220… I will say having the father of my daughter gone all the time partying and being stuck alone with his family did not help but no excuse. We had a young and dumb relationship I caught him watching porn all the time so that didn’t help I knew it wasn’t my fault that he was the one with the problem but I just couldn’t help but to think I’m disgusting/fat/saggy/with stretch marks everywhere.

It’s been 1 1/2 yrs. since we split up but I still hate me. My friends and family say I look great but they are just friends and family they wouldn’t tell me what I really looked like(in my head) I am down to 174 with only 20 pounds to go to loose. I have done all the diets no eating..eating right/exercising/taking phentermine/liquid diet..Nothing makes me feel better. I am currently engaged to the most amazing God loving man I had longed for the past 6 years. He is amazing to not only me but most importantly my daughter! He says all the time how much he loves my body..That it’s beautiful and sexy mainly because of what I see as flaws. He says my body is a woman’s body that brought a beautiful little girl into to the world and that everything about it is perfect. WHY CANT I BELIEVE HIM????????? I love myself to an extent..but I feel such shame a selfishness because I know my body did something amazing and while that something amazing is laying on the floor in front of me playing with her barbies, so perfect, beautiful, loving and everything else a mom feels for their child I can’t help but to look at my sagging/stretch marks with extreme disgust…I feel ashamed in myself for even being so negative..

So with all that being said this website is AMAZING!! Y’all are an inspiration and completely beautiful! I don’t look at any of these pictures or stories how I look at myself..I see all of yall as beauty queens with “an amazing woman’s body”(like my fiancé tells me) Thank you all for sharing!!

God Bless!!!!!

Pregnancies: 1
Age: 24
Daughters Age: 5(6 in December!!! =D )

My Body and I (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Teen Mom 7 Comments

Age 24
2 children ages 7 and 3
One natural (no drugs! Woot!)
One emergency c-section

I have always had body issues. Thanks to my mother’s ex boyfriend of 5 years I was led to believe I was grotesque. How naive I was. At 5’8 and 135 lbs I was perfect. I got pregnant with my son at 16. On my 16th birthday. Lol. Happy birthday to me! His daddy was (and is) my soul-mate. We were together a year and a half before I got pregnant and I got lucky enough to suck him in with a baby. ( kidding!!!) I gained around 70 lbs with him and delivered at 215. My son gave me these stretchmarks and loose skin. He also gave me more love than I knew what to do with! He is the light of my life. Full of joy and energy. He makes my heart smile. I had my daughter in Italy at the age of 20. Her daddy wanted to see the world, and took me on an adventure. I carried her well and, as a matter of fact, was asked if I was sure I was pregnant and not just gaining weight at 6 months! My daughter gave me a scar and an understanding of life. We died on the operating table, and we fought our way back together. She is my heart. Her sense of humor lights up my life everyday. I sometimes cry in vain over my body. I refuse to leave the lights on (unless there is wine involved! Lol) I will not wear a bikini, I compare myself to other moms. I stress about what my skin is going to look like when I’m done losing the extra pounds and I get angry at my belly and myself. I am down to 180 and scared of what my hanging flap will look like at 140(my goal) but ultimately I have made peace with my body. It gave me my children, and I thats worth every dimple and stretchmark.

3rd Pregnancy Ending in Miscarriage (Shannon)

Bonnie (SOAM) Child Loss, Children with Health Complications, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 16 Comments

My last post.
Age: 26
Number of pregnancies: 2 carried to term, 1 miscarriage at 7 weeks
PP: 6 years, 3.5 years, miscarriage yesterday at 7 weeks
Image: about 5 weeks pregnant with 3rd baby that I just lost

I have posted here many times before. This was my third pregnancy, and I was so very excited. I found out when I was only 4 weeks along! Although my other 2 pregnancies were very welcome, this one was hoped for. With my first son I was only 19, not married, and terrified to tell my parents (it did not take long to get happy though!). My first son was born with a very rare syndrome and he passed away when he was only 19 months old. It was/is the most difficult thing I have ever experienced. I think of him and miss him every single day (it has been 4.5 years since he passed). I got pregnant with my second son only 3 months after Connor had passed away, so it was very difficult (again, it did not take long to get happy, and I knew it was what Connor wanted for his Father and I). This pregnancy, my third, was planned. I was so excited when I found out (I even jumped up and down). I am married, I did not JUST lose my son (not that I don’t miss him…just that it isn’t as fresh as it was when I got pregnant with my second), and this was planned. I will be graduating in the beginning of May from nursing school, and my due date was supposed to be June 6th, so the timing was perfect. I had planned it all out…I would get quite a few months home with the baby while applying for nursing jobs…it was perfect timing. Yesterday I went to the bathroom and saw some blood clots. I told my husband we had to go to the hospital. We brought Liam (our second child) to the sitter, and off we went. They did blood work and an ultrasound which basically confirmed that I was in fact pregnant, but no longer am. I was crushed, crying uncontrollably. When we got home from the hospital I was in extreme pain, felt like actual contractions. This morning I woke up, went to the bathroom, and passed my placenta. This is just horrible. I already loved that baby. I know it is different than losing my Connor, but to me, I just lost another baby. Although was only 7 weeks pregnant, it was my baby and I loved him/her.

Hope is Not Lost (Laura)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 5 Comments

Age: 22
Number of pregnancies and births: 1
The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 5 months PP

I discovered this site while I was pregnant. I was desperate, searching for answers of what my body would look like after baby. Now, 5 months after delivering a beautiful baby girl, I can say think my obsession was a little silly.

I, like so many others posts that I have read, was an insecure teenager. I was always chunky, from the time I was 10 to the time I was 18. Then I lost a bunch of weight. I was still self-concious, but deep down I thought I looked great. Well, that level of confidence lasted for 3 years: until I got pregnant at 21 years of age.

I started my pregnancy at 155 pounds (I am 5’9″). The week before I delivered, I think I weighed around 225. I say I think I weighed 225 because I had stopped looking at the scale at the doctor’s office. Being weighed while pregnant was never a fun experience! lol. Now, around 5 months after delivery, I weigh 186 pounds. I’m still working towards my goal of 155 pounds, or to fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes, whichever comes first.

Losing weight has not been easy. Trying to exercise with a newborn in the house? Enough said. But I’ve been doing it. I’ve been watching my calories using an application on my phone and I’ve been working out whenever I have time left over after being a mom, working part-time, and being a full-time college student. I’ve lost 20 pounds since I came home from the hospital and my self-confidence is slowly returning. I feel great! I still do feel insecure at times though since my body is a lot different from most 22 year olds. Whenever that happens I quickly remind myself that I have been fortunate enough to have given life, and that it in itself was no easy task.

The main thing I would like to say to women who have experienced pregnancy is to love your body! And if you find that you just can’t manage to love it, do not settle! Do something about it! Whether it be exercising, or telling yourself every day how beautiful you are, if you are unhappy, then change something.

The following pictures are of me:

Pre-pregnancy
8/9 months pregnant at my baby shower
1 month PP
5 months PP (one front and one side belly. Forgive the broken mirror, I’m a bit clumsy sometimes.. :) )
And finally, my beautiful baby girl

My Dear Belly (M.B.)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, First Pregnancy, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions 9 Comments

My name is M.B., I am 30 years old and live in germany. I’ve got one daughter. She is nine years old now and in all those years I never found a way to accept the shape of my belly. I am doing a lot of sports, which makes me skinner and more strength through the years, but nothing ever changed this skin looking they way it does. Whenever I stretch myself in a yoga-class, so that my belly gets to be seen, I feel ashamed and lose my grip. I totally loose my breathing and get out of training. Or in summertimes, when my daughter, my boyfriend and me go swimming I always think, that everybody is just starring at my shink. I often felt uncomfortable for my body and always felt like having the responsibility to work on that. So thank you for this wonderful idea, which I totally support. Let’s not feel bad about our humanity. Respect my belly! It carried a human.

Peace,
M.B.