Submissions

Working out and trying to love myself again. (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Eating Disorder, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom, Update 4 Comments

age: 19
children: 2 1/2 year old.

Previous post here.

I’ve been trying to take each day one day at a time.. I am now parentless. my dad passed away when I was 11, my mom last april. both to lung& brain cancer. Ive had lots of drama and had to put my sons father in jail for abuse. I recently moved to where my dad grew up to live with my step aunt& uncle. things didn’t work out there, now I am at a two bed apartment with my son. I am attending college for a free prep program so I can go into nursing or dental. 4 days a week and my son is in a home daycare, he likes it, im glad. I excersise every morning a cardio & night a weight lifting.. ive became an over excersiser since my mom passed away.. its like something to do.. then got into restrict & binging, it wasn’t good at all got to 92lbs and that left with bad inner thigh marks as shown in the picture.. I am now 114 lbs.. gained all that within 3 months from my grandpas sweets… I am now a beach body coach and I want to help other mothers learn to love their body as my journey moves along also.

I am currently getting a treatment called Derma pen to see if itll help my inner thigh stretchmarks… just had my second treatment. I will take pictures after my last one is complete in 5 months.

I love reading all of your stories and I hope I can help some <3 [gallery][gallery ids="11976,11977,11978"]

The Gift I Took for Granted (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Child Loss, Mothers with Health Complications, No Photos (Story Only), Postpartum, Sexual Abuse/Violence, Submissions 6 Comments

When I was 12 I feel in love with a man, M. He was 18 and did not even know I was alive. But as I grew he finally took notice. When I was 15 he ask me on a date I was over the moon. While on this date his ex shows up and they ended up leaving together. That night changed my life forever. I met my husband who is 3 years older than me. J waited till I was 17 to ask me out and the night after I finished high school we made love for my first time. As a joke I told him he had to marry me and with a straight face said he had every plan to. We moved in together and for 6 weeks it was amazing. Then on 4/14/2000 my entire world crashed. A friend of his from high school knocked on our door and asked me out for lunch. I called J and ask if it was fine. Now I realize the tone of his voice it was not. But I was so tired of being home alone. After lunch S brought me back home and would not leave. I walked in the kitchen to get the phone which he breaks. I keep telling him please do not hurt J. He laughs and next thing I know I am naked laying on our sofa. As he rapes me I watch TV with Rosie O’Donnell with Tom Cruise. When he is done he laughs again and says “If you get pregnant it is not mine.” spits on me and leaves. S calls J at work and tells him that I just cheated on him. J throws me out of our apartment because I can not tell him what happened. I spend the night on the streets barefooted and in just shorts and a tiny shirt. J calls my parents the next day and they come get me. After few months my mom makes me go to the DR. and there on the ultrasound screen is a baby. A big baby. My mom takes me to J at his job and I hand him a photo of the baby. ” Happy Father’s Day.” Turning and walk away. C our son will never know. J is his father no matter what. Today J and C are at the hunting lease and me and our daughter O who is 22 months younger than C watch TV. My family has been though a lot. The loss of another baby between C&O. The loss of O’s twin. Ovarian Cancer. C falling out of a tree and almost dying. J and I almost divorcing because the hate and pain. But I am so lucky to be a Mother to 2 amazing children.

Getting Happier With Time (Apryl)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 1 Comment

Age : 33
5 pregnancies, 3 births, children’s ages : 14, 10, 3

This is my 3rd submission to SOAM. First post here. Second here.

I’ve been working more on not only improving my body and physical health, but trying to improve my mental well being as well. For the most part, it has gone well. My ex-husband and I finally had our divorce finalized last December, which helped immensely. I have been dating a great guy for over a year. I’m not sure he’s “the one” yet, but I do think he’s a wonderful man.

I lost quite a bit more weight, getting down to a size 12 (versus the size 30 I was when I got pregnant with my youngest). Unfortunately, I hit a bit of depression again and gained some of the weight back. I had lost a total of 120 pounds. I’ve gained back about 15. But I am working on that again also.

The weirdest thing about a lot of weight loss is the incredible amount of excess skin you have after. Yes, it tightens up in time, but that takes a while. I am wearing about a size 16 jeans right now, but would probably be in no bigger than a 12 if the skin was gone. But it seems like my breasts have actually firmed up a bit.

This first picture is the best side view I could get with my phone, the second is my breasts, 3rd is me holding up some of the excess skin on my stomach, and the 4th is a side view of my abdomen. I wish the light and quality of the picture was better, but my camera on my phone is not the greatest quality.

Fair to Middling (Shanelle)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 6 Comments

Age:31
Pregnancies:3
Children: 3 (8 y.o,5 y.o & 6 m.o)

Almost 7 months Post-Partum.

Hi all,

I am a Single Mum of 3 from Australia.
I’ve been raising my children on and off (mostly on) by myself as the father of my children suffers from mental illness.
We seperated for good while I was 4 months pregnant with my third and he now lives hours away in another state.
He hasn’t ever seen his daughter and hasn’t seen his older two in almost 8 months.

I am still brestfeeding and brestfed my older two.My eldest boy was brestfed til he was almost 4 and my middle boy til he was almost 2.
I plan to breastfeed at least two years with my youngest.

I had an eating disorder from 11yo pretty much up until I fell pregnant with my first (at 22) and didn’t change weight (50 kgs at 5″8) up until I was pregnant with my first.
I only put 8 kilos on while pregnant with him and was vigilant with getting the weight off as soon as I had him.
I don’t know if it was age,having something else that genuinely mattered (my son),my abusive relationship with his Dad or a combination of both but by the time my boy was two,I no longer cared so much bout being able to feel my bones.

Now,almost 9 years and a hell of life experience later,I do wish I fit better into clothes (I hate how waistbands give me the spare-look) and I’m not dancing in giddy circles of glee at the cellulite and double chin that are creeping on me,But all in all-I am pretty ok with how I look.
Considering all my babies were big -8.3p,9.1p & 9.2p,- and I have breastfed for quite awhile,I think i’m holding up alright ;)

For me personally,my kids have shown me what is really important in life and that is good health and happiness.I’m lucky to have both.

Always Insecure (Ashlin)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Teen Mom 7 Comments

I’m not sure how to begin this, I have started an entry only to delete it I don’t know how many times out of fear… So I guess I’ll start by saying Hi :) My name is Ashlin, I am 21 years old. I spent most of my teen years taking care of my mom and little sister. My mom has had MS since I was born. When I was 14 her doctors put her through chemo treatments hoping it would slow the progression of MS. It did the opposite, she went downhill so fast. It killed me to watch my best friend lying there with her legs curled up to her chest, not even able to remember my name, and having the doctors tell me they didn’t think she’d “last very long.” I’m shaking just typing this, it still infuriates me. Anyways that was a very dark time in my life. I started self harm, eating disorders and isolating myself from everyone close to me. Everyone was telling me the one person who was always there, always loved me was going to either never be who she used to be or was just going to die. I didn’t want to be alive anymore. That’s when I met my husband, he helped me stop harming myself and supported me through the eating disorders. Shortly after, my mom started to slowly recover. When I found out I was pregnant at 16 all I could think was how I was going to tell her. How could I do this to her? I was scared it would crush her. I had so much guilt and anger and sadness built up inside. I waited as long as I could to tell her, when I did she cried a little but as always she supported me, through the whole pregnancy, and delivery, she was there, I named my daughter after her…Somehow I never realized just how much influence my mom has had on my life until writing this.. Anyways 2 years later we found out we were pregnant with baby number two. We thought were going to have another little girl whose name was going to be Hope, but in the delivery room “she” ended up being a he. Best surprise ever. :) Before My pregnancies I weighed 135lbs, After my second pregnancy I weighed 161lbs. I was happy with everything except my body. My husband loved it, but I had SO many stretch marks and so much saggy skin and no boobs… I couldn’t bare to look at myself. When my son was a year old I decided to do something about it so I worked my butt off and lost 40 lbs. I can still only see the old me in the mirror, I don’t see any differences most of the time. Although some days I feel better about myself than other days. I know the most important thing is my beautiful healthy babies, and if the most perfect little people in the world think I’m beautiful then that’s all that matters. :) The first picture is my momma and my son, The second is me a year PP, the third picture is just showing how deep my marks are, the fourth picture is my now the fifth is my beautiful babies :) My babies are 1 and 2

A Work in Progress (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 8 Comments

I am a 24 year old first time mum. I went into this knowing of most of the complications that can happen when you give birth..my story goes like this:

I really was interested in doing this the natural way, no drugs etc. But when I became two weeks overdue my doctor became concerned but still left the choice up to me to wait (so grateful). However, when my baby showed a bit of distress we decided to induce. On a quick side note, she was supposed to be a christmas baby, then we bypassed that, then new years, and then she was actually born on my birthday, January 9th!

Anyways, I was induced on a monday morning and went drug free after that for 24 hours. I was in labor a total of 36 hours! By the 24th hour I was pretty tired and tried the gas, no use, tried morphine, didn’t even make a dent in the pain. So finally they figured my labor stalled and wanted to give me pitocin. I was okay with that, trying to go with the flow, and had an epidural as well. I finally slept, which was great! Then things started picking up! Now we were pushing! Fantastic! Except I was pushing for 4 hours with no progress. Bring on another edpiural top up and a doctor suggesting a C Section and I had that baby out by wednesday morning at 4 am. I was extremely surprised when they weighed my baby girl at 10lbs 3 ounces!! Mind you, I looked ridiculous pregnant, I’m 5″3I was HUGE! Makes sense haha. I tore really bad though, a 3rd degree right down the middle, then another first degree up the right side. 3 blood transfusions and a bunch of IVs later, we were released on Thursday.

So with all that in mind, the fact that I have a 3 finger diastasis recti and am doing so much physio, due to the stress on my body, I am still extremely upset that I haven’t bounced back faster. I thought I was in decent shape, I guess not. I look at my figure and I still look 3 months pregnant and there is NOTHING I can do about it now. I think that is the worst part. I wish some one would tell me that I will continue to make progress. I wish that I could just melt this tummy away, it’s soft and jiggly and I hate the way it moves and It really doesn’t feel a part of me. It sucks, and I am sad at how frumpy I look and feel.

Age= 24
Number of pregnancies= 1
Number of children= 1
Month postpartum= 7 and a bit

First and second picture is 41 + 2 days pregnant, the third is about a month post, the fourth and fifth is about 4 months post. I haven’t done a recent photo. But it has gone down and the stretch marks aren’t so red anymore. Please, tell me what you think.

My Tears (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) 20+ Years Postpartum, 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 17 Comments

I came across this website after following a link at the bottom of an article on government fiscal policy of all things.

Without reading a single story, just the opening statement, I found myself in tears. Not a soft, delicate, salty trickle of shared sadness, but a harsh, tsunami of tears, so hot I thought my cheeks would blister. If my reaction to this site took anyone by surprise, it was certainly myself. But with those tears came a sudden epiphany – a deep and startlingly profound understanding of myself, and how I see myself and, hence, my world.

I have always had body image issues. As a young teen I was a curvy, top heavy size 12 and my friends model thin, flat chested size 6 and 8. There has never been a time in my life where I haven’t been focussed on my weight, my size or my shape to one degree or another, and not in a positive way. When I look back now, I am amazed at how good I looked as a teen and I feel sadness that I was so obsessed with wanting to be Kate Moss thin like my friends that I didn’t appreciate how healthy and normal I was.

I had my first child at 19, my second at 22, my third at 31. Each pregnancy saw me stay a little heavier and my body shape change a little more, but I wasn’t obsessed by it, even though I was still always dieting and wanting to look better and thinner. Overall it was ok – my, then, husband liked my body, I was still a size 13/14, and my baby pouch which had nurtured our three babies, was just a part of me.

When my marriage failed everything changed. I found myself in another relationship with an attractive, successful and yet, on reflection, controlling and misogynistic man who had me constantly apologising for my weight and size and just about every other aspect of me. When I fell pregnant naturally at age 43, he stopped touching me – wouldn’t come near me, all physical, and emotional, connection ceased suddenly, and he started a string of affairs with numerous women that continued until I left the relationship with an 18 month old baby and a very differently sized and shaped body. If I thought my body changed after pregnancy in my 20’s and 30’s I didn’t know what to think about the changes from a pregnancy and a natural birth in my early 40’s.

I’ve been living on my own for a year now, but in reality I’ve been alone for three, and if I am honest much longer, as I now know the affairs started before the pregnancy. I suffered severe post natal depression, which continues now as just regular garden variety depression since my daughter is now 26 months old.

Every aspect of my life has deteriorated, including my once successful career, and relationships with my older children, family and friends have been affected and infected as I have isolated myself. I have no confidence, no self esteem, no value in myself. The simple act of dressing every morning is an emotional hurdle finding something to wear that “minimises my fatness”.

I feel inferior to colleagues at work, embarrassed taking my daughter to toddler dance class because of what the other mothers might think of me, I avoid time with dear old school friends because I am embarrassed. I would like an intimate relationship, but can’t even contemplate that a man I would find attractive would even give me a second look – overweight, cellulite, saggy breasts and a, now, very pronounced baby pouch.

If the father of my child rejects me because of how I look, how my body is, how can I expect anyone else to accept me

My epiphany is that I suddenly realised I have allowed the loathing and hate I have for my body to determine the self-image I have in every aspect of my life. And that’s stupid. How I look doesn’t affect my skill at work, or the love I have for my children and family or the quality of my friendships. I’ve spent the last few years investing in tummy tamers, hold me in undies and fantasising about affording a boob job, tummy tuck, arm thinning, liposuction and a multitude of other surgeries to make me “acceptable” to the world.

The reality is, if I do not love me, I can never let anyone else love me. Self-sabotage is a vicious disease.
My body tells my story –every bump, lump, lovehandle, stretchmark and wrinkle – but it does not define who I am. If people can’t see beyond the lumps and bumps on my body that tell my story they doesn’t deserve to be part of that story

I need to see beyond the lumps and bumps on my body that tell my story. I need to accept and love and like myself.
And I suspect that there are going to be a lot more tears before I can do that.

092713-anon-1

Fit After a Son and Twins (Jen)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Twins

I am Jen and I am 30 years old. I have an 8 year old son and 6 month old twin girls! They are awesome kids and they make me smile every day. Of course having twins is not something that everyone plans. I found out that they were twins when I was only 6 weeks pregnant. Of course I was overjoyed but scared to death also. I have been a genetically thin person my whole life, but a few years back I got into working out and eating healthy and my body changed from being thin to being muscular and strong. I loved it. I was a very active person before my pregnancy. I had great abs and I was scared that I would never see them again. I wanted healthy babies of course, but I didn’t want to gain a bunch of unneeded weight. My doctor told me that it was ok if I continued to workout during my pregnancy not exceeding a lifting amount of 20lbs. I stayed within his rules of course for my babies’ safety. Naturally, before pregnancy, I worked super hard for my body and health and was really scared of the after effects of carrying twins. I had never had twins before and yes everyone had to tell me their after baby body horror stories. I knew right away I was going to deliver via c section. I had a hard birth with the first and a horrible episiotomy. I knew I didn’t want to go through that again and it was safer for the babies. Everyone told me about how I better kiss the bikini body goodbye because c sections cause a lifelong potbelly that cannot be fixed. I am not the type to listen to this stuff because just because it happened to them does NOT mean it will happen to me. I lotioned every single day, up to 8 times a day towards the end. I only carried my twins to 33 weeks. I gained a total of 17 lbs and the babies were very healthy!! They came early due to a membrane rupture. I held them in for 10 days after my water ruptured. They did have a NICU stay but it wasn’t for long. They were just tiring out while eating. I want to tell women that I am just an average Jane. I am nothing special, not a celebrity. I want women to know that you don’t have to be a celebrity to have a bikini body after babies. I want to be an inspiration to eat healthy not only for your benefit but for the baby as well. My c section recovery was very quick. I was super sore for 72 hours. I went back to the gym after 2 and a half weeks. I did not work abs because my doctor told me it wasn’t safe just yet. After my 6 week check up he gave me the ok to go back to abs. It was hard at first but I kept at it and my core strength came back stronger than ever. I’m 5 foot 8 and weigh around 127 now. I did not get any stretch marks with either pregnancy due to tons of water, tons of lotion and good collagen genetics. Before pregnancy I was 135. I feel great being able to run after my 8 year old and catch him! I enjoy being able to run around like a crazy person aka mom of twins, and have lots of energy. I want my children to see me working out and follow in my footsteps on the healthy road the way I did with my dad, who was a competitive power lifter during my childhood. I love living a healthy lifestyle! I couldn’t feel better!!

Number of pregnancies: 2 and 3 births
First photo is 3 weeks pp, 2nd photo is 32 weeks pregnant vs 8 weeks pp and the last photo is 6 months pp!

8 Years Later (Autumn)

Bonnie (SOAM) Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom, Update 1 Comment

Previous post here.

My name is Autumn. I’ve posted here a few times but figured I’d show the progression of my belly a good while after having my son.

I am about to turn 26, my son is about to turn 8. I’d like to say I’m 100% happy with my body, 100% of the time… But I wouldn’t be being honest. I still have my good days and my bad bad bad days when it comes to my body. But I really have come a long way, for instance, I felt pretty sexy when I snapped this photo.