Submissions

I am a mother, just like the rest of the posters here, I’ve been reading since the beginning of this website, but have yet to see a story like mine. Therefore I decided the time has come for me to share. I have two daughters. The first was born in 2004. She left stretch marks that began on my upper thighs and reached upwards like flames around my belly button. They faded rather quickly from bright red to beige matching my skin tone. I only gained 30 pounds with her, and in two years time I was down to my lightest weight (180 lbs, I’m 5 foot, 11 inches tall). My first daughter, J, is a shining star, a streak of light and sound. She is strong, fierce, fun, and a constant source of joy (and headaches, I have a strong willed child). She was the unplanned blessing, bringing my boyfriend and me together as husband and wife, making us into a family. In June 2006 I became pregnant a second time. We believed that this was likely our last child, so my pregnancy was something I wanted to enjoy as much as I could. How I treasured every kick and wiggle. I didn’t get any new stretch marks, gained 35 pounds. It was an uneventful pregnancy. My second baby girl, M, came on her due date, after 8 hours of agonizing labor as she was “sunny side up”. Finally she turned, I pushed five minuets and my blessing had arrived. This is generally what the website is about, our pregnancy and labor stories, but my second daughter’s story began later, and it has changed the person I am, the sort of mother I am. It has changed everything. M developed normally until she was 5 months. At that time we noticed she had a bit of a tremor, it grew worse, and at 6.5 months she was seen by specialists. The diagnosis rocked our world. She has a form of Mitochondrial Disease, known specifically as Leigh’s Disease. The mitochondria in her cells are unable to produce enough energy to properly fuel her body, in my daughter’s case this is due to a genetic mutation. The prognosis is poor; life expectancy varies from months to a few years. Leigh’s Disease attacks her brain, the area that controls motor control (both voluntary and involuntary) is being eaten away at, a little bit at a time. Eventually, her brain will no longer send the message to her lungs to breath. At the time of diagnosis she was sitting supported, babbling, just shaky. She has regressed, she no longer sits. She no longer rolls or holds her head up. The talking has ceased, she no longer cries and the silence is deafening. M is not able to hold things in her hands; her big sister is hit hard by her no longer holding any toys. She rarely makes eye contact and each smile, rare as they are is a celebration. We are loosing our blessed girl, far too quickly. So, that is my story. As I type she is on my lap, staring contentedly into space. The cocktail of drugs she takes daily is designed to control seizures and make her as comfortable as possible. Some days she is present, some days her little mind is in a far off place. She is fed by a tube in belly, scars on her beautiful skin. Her eyes are shockingly blue, her hair brown like mine, and she is beautiful and absolutely perfect. In just a year I came to know her, and came to know that I must let her go. I read the stories here, finding comfort in the other women who have lost children, but I am different from those who loose in childbirth. I read the other stories, women who seem so consumed with their bodies changes they almost miss the miracle before them. I cannot help but want to scream. I no longer care about the stretch marks that scar me, or the extra pounds around my middle caused more by emotional eating than baby weight gain. I am proud that my arms are strong to rock, my back able to bear the weight of motherhood. My eyes are older now, but I’ve seen such beauty along with all the sadness. My feet have walked miles comforting children; it’s made my legs strong. My breasts are unrecognizable after nursing two girls, but I am proud that I was able, and will continue to nurse M as long as we can. I have learned so much about faith, so much about myself, I have learned how amazing a man my husband really is. Our babies are beautiful, treasure them. In the end the size of jeans you wear is so little compared to the smile they give. That is my story, I am proud to have shared.

(a family portraite as seen through the eyes of my four year old)

i have a 2 year old son and have struggled over my post pregnancy body for those last 2 years. i was 18 when my son was born at only 28weeks and spent 96 days in the NICU, this as you can no doubt imagine was a very stressfull time for me (i add that i am a single mother and my sons father wanted nothing to do with him) my family was supportive but they really didnt know what i went through everyday. i got quite depressed and ended up hating myself for not being able carry my baby to full term and for all the pain and suffering i had caused him. both myself and my son have come a long way in the last 2 years, he is now a happy (almost) healthy 2 year old with just a few lung and developmental problems and i at almost 21 years old am starting to accept and like my body, having realised that i will never be a tiny skinny person. i thank this website a lot for making me realise im just the same as any other mother out there. yes i may not have the perfect body, but i got a perfect son out of it. thank you for helping me grow to like my body.

this is my tummy after having my twins 5 weeks ago, they were 5pounds4oz and 5pounds6oz and healthy as could be, i have 4 children all born via c-section this was my third pregnancy and by far the hardest, i was on bedrest for most of it and my body just ached all the time i handled it ok till the strech marks started to appear 2 weeks before i delivered, as superfical as it sounds i was devestated i cried every day i presumed after not getting a single one with my first 2 pregnancies i would escape them again well i wasnt so lucky this time ,i got them on my hips and a few on my belly i hate that they are permanant and the only way they will be gone is surgery i try not to focus on them and the cream im using seems to be fading them somewhat,how do a few marks cause someone who had so much confidence to become someone who is now too embarrased to be naked infront of her husband ,i think the media plays a big part in women feeling bad about them selves after having babies the media are constantly showing us celeb mums who seem to walk out of hospital looking like they were never pregnant and unfortunatly women including myself but into it all, the pressure to bounce back in what seems like 2 mins after giving birth is crazy thats why this site is great it shows real women strech marks and all!!!

here is a shot of me pregnant at 26 weeks and the rest are 5 weeks PP

I haven’t been thin for a few years, so I think it’s been easier for me to accept what my body’s become post-pregnancy. I do sometimes feel bad about my sagging lower belly, but seeing a lot of moms have that makes me feel so much more secure. When I was pregnant, I looked great. My belly sort of balanced the size of the rest of me and I felt good. I was losing weight in my pregnancy due to nausea and when my son was born almost 6 months ago, I was only 2 pounds heavier than when I became pregnant. I weighed 252 pounds at his birth. When I left the hospital I was 235 pounds. I’ve since gained back 5 to 10 pounds. I’m not sure because I’m terrified of the scale. My belly will never look the same, but my son was worth it.

Up until I got pregnant, I never once had to consider that my body would one day undergo amazing changes. Ever since high school I’ve been pretty much the same size. A couple of years ago, the hubby and I joined the gym so we both tightened up quite a bit. The first pic is of me in December of 2005. Exactly six months later I would find out we were expecting our sweet little Kai. I made it to almost 8 months without a single stretch mark. I wasn’t taking prenatal vitamins, so I was on a super healthy diet (not including, of course, the Starbuck’s that I was notorious for always having). I was going to the gym three times a week up until I couldn’t see my feet anymore, at around month 6. Sometime in early January I noticed the tiniest pink lines appearing on my belly. They were a bit sensitive to the touch since at those areas my skin was literally stretched to its limits. At a later prenatal appointment I pointed them out to my midwife and confirmed what I already knew but could not admit to myself. I had pregnancy-induced stretch marks. In my pre-mom frame of thinking, this actually upset me. My wonderful hubby went and got me natural salves which I meticulously put on each and every morning and night. But as the pregnancy progressed, the stretch marks grew deeper and longer. Up until a few months ago I was still bothered by my stretch marks. It got to the point where I just wouldn’t look at them. Just throw a t-shirt on and its quite easy to pretend they’re not there. Then I found a pic of my mom from way back in the day. We were at the beach and she was wearing a bikini. Her stomach was soft-looking and she had her fair share of stretch marks. Yet she was showing them off like a badge of honor. That’s when it hit me. Hey, I look just like my mom! Well helllooooooo… that’s ’cause I AM a mom. My stretch marks are all I have to remind me that I once shared my body with Kai. That we once ate and breathed together and that somehow my body was able to protect, grow and accommodate a whole other person. That’s quite the feat and I’m sure glad that I have something left over to show for it other than my precious Kai. I would honestly be sad if I didn’t have my mommy body. In retrospect I think its funny that I ever worried oh so much about flabby this, and flabby that. It just doesn’t matter anymore. I’m a mom, and that’s what I look like.

I wish I was as happy about losing my body as I sound! After I had my first daughter, my body almost snapped right back into shape…it was the months following that I noticed I couldn’t eat as much as I used too. My weight went up and down for months! When I FINALLY got my body “back” I found out I was pregnant with my second daughter!! With my second, my belly grew much faster, and so did the rest of me. I got stretch marks on my hips, butt, and chest. I went from a B-Cup to a D-cup in a matter fo weeks! Now when my oldest asks what the “boo-boo’s” are on my butt, I tell her they are the kisses she gave me before she was born!

I was 28 years old when I had my first and only child. I think this site is a great thing, because it is promoting a healthy body image for those of us who have had children! During my pregnancy, I had gestational diabetes, irregular heart rhythm, pre-eclampsia, among other smaller complications. I was on bed rest for four months, and gained a total of 76 pounds, the last 13 pounds of it in fluid! I was swelled from my neck down by the time I had an emergency c-section at 36 weeks. After recovering from c-section, I became very disheartened at my body’s appearance. I have fair skin to begin with, and I had a lot of stretch marks. On top of that, and having the customary pooch, I had a lower than normal c-section cut, which just made the pooch flop right over it.

I’m including pictures of myself at 6 months pregnant, shortly after delivery holding my daughter (you can see how HUGE and swelled I was in this picture!), my body about 3 weeks post-delivery, my body at 5 months post-partum, and my current body at 10 months post-partum. Also, another picture of me and my daughter at about 4 weeks, and a picture of her at Christmas time. The pictures are not of the greatest quality, because most were taken with a phone camera to track my body and its progress. But, I think the important thing with this site is that we can be healthy, in shape, and look great as mothers! I am proud of my body, and even though it will never be the same as it was before pregnancy, I don’t miss the old one. This one gave life, and how amazing is that? It doesn’t get any better.

I’m 23 and I have had 2 kids in 2 years. My breast are the breasts of a 50 year old grandmother with 5 children and my belly looks like the moon. I’m not proud of how my body looks but luckily looks aren’t everything.What a human body goes through during a pregnancy and birth is incredible and every women should be proud that her body is so strong. I want for every women to feel beautiful because all women are!