Submissions

Bed Rest After Childbirth / 8 to 14 in a Year (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Surgical Scar (Non-Cesarean) 16 Comments

I had a diffcult pregnancy to begin with where I gained 45 lbs. The birth was worse. 23 hours in labor pushing for 32 minutes before they realized he was stuck. Tried to move him manually (oh by the way the epidural didnt take all the way) causing me to jump and slam my back off the deliever table resoluting in two large herniated disc that the doctors didnt dignoise till 6 months later. so needless to say i’m not able to work it off i’m not even able to lift my baby boy and it tears me up every single day sometimes three times a day!!!! i hate my body i hate myself!!!!








My thoughts on being a plus-size mom to be (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Infertility, Plus-Sized Mom, Pregnant, Reader's Favorite, Submissions 67 Comments

I have been overweight my whole entire life. I always joke that the “thinnest” Ive ever been was at birth – 6 lbs. Funny, but true. At one point, I got up over 400 lbs. Then I made a decision that changed my life completely. I had lap-band weight loss surgery in Dec. 2005. The surgery has been amazing… I would have never been able to lose weight like I have without it. Ive had no complications and would definitely reccomend it to anyone that is seriously obese. However, it comes with its own set of rules and guidelines, you have to work hard and youre definitely not taking “the easy way out”, like some people say the surgery is. If you thought dieting was hard, this is just as hard, if not harder, even. Because of the lap band surgery I lost over 100 lbs., reaching my first goal of getting below 300 lbs. In Jan. 2008, my period didnt show up on time and on a whim I took a pregnancy test. I couldnt believe it, TWO LINES! I was pregnant. So many doctors for so long had told me that I would NEVER be able to get pregnant being so morbidly obese. I had basically thought I would never be a mom… that it would take me years and years to lose the weight I needed to be considered “healthy”. Id been sexually active for years – and Ill admit, sometimes ‘careful’ and sometimes not, and never gotten pregnant. I didnt think I could. But something must of changed, because here we were… pregnant. My dream had finally become true. I am now 7 months pregnant, expecting a baby boy in mid September. I have only gained about 15 lbs. throughout my pregnancy (11 in one month, unfortunately – right as I hit my 3rd trimester.) Ive had no complications with my lap band with my pregnancy… and have actually had few complications with the pregnancy as a whole; heartburn, constipation, acid reflux and being tired all the time, as most pregnant women tend to be. However, I have come to notice that my pregnancy is very different than that of all my friends. Sure, we have the same common complaints, but at the same time they are still very different than me. I look at them and envy them sometimes… wishing I could just be “normal”. I have wanted this baby for so very long, I want the full-on experience; all the aches and pains… the water break in the checkout line at Walmart… I want to feel the pain of the contractions (just til the epidural kicks in! Im not THAT crazy!) I just want it… all. I am still so amazed that my body is doing this… that Im finally pregnant… that Im getting what Ive always wanted. So really and truly I dont have much to complain about. And I try not to compare myself to my friends, and girls I see at the doctor’s office, random girls I pass at the grocery store. But at the same time, its gets to me sometimes. See… they are all on the thinner side and you can see their bodies changing shape, see them gaining weight, obviously tell they are pregnant. They get measured when they go to the doctor… they complain about stretchmarks and clothes that dont fit. (ha! the story of my life!!!) They get to wear cute little shirts that accentuate their bumps. People are constantly asking them about their pregnancy and touching their bellies. But with me… well… My baby is nestled down inside a slighty more tubby tummy, so I still just look fat and like Im gaining weight again… Its hard to find his heartbeat sometimes because of my “extra padding”, so everytime I go to the doctors its like playing marco/polo to try and find it… Ive had 4-5 sonograms to make sure everything is going well, since its hard to see/tell from the outside. I have another sonogram July 10th to check on his size, since you cant really tell manually because I am bigger… I dont have the “baby bump” that everyone is always talking about… its more like a “baby mountain”, actually… Cute “plus-size maternity” clothes are basically non-existant… so Ive spent much of my pregnancy in sweatpants, how charming… The stretchmarks I have are a result of too much ice cream years ago – not from my growing son… Jose, my mom and I are the only ones that have felt him move – as its so faint sometimes, since I carry the extra weight around him… People cant really tell Im pregnant just by looking at me… so I dont get that random conversation in the baby department at Target… This has driven me to tears at time… because I am so happy and bursting with joy that I want to just shout from the rooftops, “IM PREGNANT!” I want to tell everyone my secret!!! I want to see other preggo’s and other mom’s out and about and share that soft smile with each other… its like belonging to a super secret club, wheres MY membership!? I want random strangers to come up and rub my belly!!! (Ok maybe not so much on that last one, but still!!!) But then I remember that Im HAPPY. Im HEALTHY. My son is growing right on track, doing all the things he is supposed to be doing, developing the way he should… and Im PREGNANT, despite the odds. And its then that I realize that Im being petty and foolish and that things could be much worse. I suck it up and realize this…. those that know me, are close to me, and love me – know that Im expecting. They know Im so happy to finally be a mommy. They are the ones that matter. The playful kicks I feel from my son are a reminder that I am never alone… it doesnt matter if anyone else feels them or not. His daddy loves me unconditionally, doesnt care what size I am, and rubs my belly every night before bed. When I start thinking about all these things, I feel a little better about being a “plus-size mom”… and so Ive come up with this; Its nice to know that my body, overweight as it is, is still doing exactly what its supposed to… providing a warm safe haven for my little one to grow in… My breasts might be on the saggy side, and covered in long-faded stretch marks, but they will work just the same, to feed and nourish my son. My fleshy arms will cushion him, hold him as he sleeps, and provide endless hugs thoughout his lifetime. My flabby thighs will provide a place for him to lay on, a lap to sit on, a knee to bounce him on. I know that may be a “larger-scale” mom, but I am a MOM, none-the-less… and Ive come to understand that no matter the size of your body, it is the size of your love for your child that really and truly matters most.



first baby girl (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 16 Comments

I had my baby girl June 2nd, 2008. We named her Autumn Elizabeth. She was very much wanted and I was so excited to become a mom. I gained more weight than I had wanted/expected to (I wanted to gain just the 25-35 that is written about…) but i ended up gaining 55 lbs. I went from 125 to 180. I am down to 155 2 weeks postpartum, but want to lose another 15-20 before i have to go back to work. I also hope my belly goes back to semi-normal, I don’t mind a little pooch. I was lucky enough not to get any stretch marks. It is comforting to see everyone else’s bodies and hear their experiences, it helps me not to be so hard on myself.






Update (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Tattoo, Update 5 Comments

Original entry here.

Adjusting to a new body is tough. Being able to look in the mirror every day and actually LIKE what you see is tough. But making, growing, and giving birth to another human being… your CHILD… is incredible. Since my last entry, I haven’t lost any more weight. I seem to have hit a plateau. But thats okay, since I’m starting to feel a little more like my ‘old’ self every day. This website has taught me that there are more important things in life than how you look on the outside. I remember when I was a little girl and I’d look at my mother, or other women her age and think “They are so beautiful! They dont have any flaws, and they LOVE themselves!” And now, I realize that they were just as self conscious about themselves as I am today. I dont want my daughters, or anyone for that matter, to ever feel like I do… I want them to see the beauty in everyone, and especially in themselves. It doesnt matter what skin you’re in…

(Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cancer, Child Loss, Endometriosis, Infertility, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 7 Comments

I never thought I would get pregnant. I was told it would be unlikely as I had very bad endometriosis and womb cancer. My husband and I were so happy and felt so blessed when we got pregnant in August last year. Unfortunately I miscarried at 11 weeks. We decided to try again and were totally shocked when we got pregnant only two months later. I am now nearly 33 weeks pregnant and love my bump. I do have some stretchmarks on it and I do worry about how my body will look afterwards. Sometimes I get a bit depressed when I think I will probably have to work at getting in shape for the first time. But I know that my body has done something amazing. It made my baby, our little miracle. And my husband says he finds my body more beautiful than ever, because it is looking after and growing our baby. Below is my bump at 32 weeks




2 months after having my son (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 8 Comments

the first time i found out i was pregnant i was so excited b/c i was gonna bring a beautiful baby in this world. of course i didn’t know how hard pregnancy could be my first 3 month’s i had bad morning sickness but it got easier and by the time i was 5 month’s it pretty much stopped. but i lost 16 pounds in the first month and only gained 23 pounds during my whole pregnancy i was scared b/c i wanted my baby to be healthy when he was born to my surprise he weighed 8 pounds 5 ounces i named him zachariah and he is worth every stretch mark and pound. i would do everything all over for my son i still have body issues and i don’t like what i see whenever i look in the mirror but i look at him and am so proud of what my body had done. i thank this website b/c it is helping me with my issues of my body.









Coping With Body Changes at 18 (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Poetry, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 32 Comments

I am an 18 year old mommy of a beautiful baby girl. I got pregnant when I was 17 and weighed about 140 pounds. I didn’t really gain any weight until right at the end and gained a total of 35 pounds. I always thought that it would be easy for me to get back to my pre-pregnancy shape after Zoey was born because I have always had such a fast metabolism, but she is now 6 months old and I weigh about 168. It’s really hard for me knowing that there are so many gorgeous girls out there that are my age and have great bodies. Thankfully, I have my husband, the father of my baby, here by my side. He is always trying to make me feel better about my body, but it is just so hard, when for 17 years, I’m used to something completely different. Reading all your stories on this website has helped me realize that even though I look way different than I did before, I have something more special than any of those “other girls” do…a beautiful, happy family. It’s also helped me realize that I am not some kind of weirdo for having stretch marks and extra skin. It is a part of life, and everyday I try to remember that I am beautiful, whether it shows on the outside or not. I just want to thank everyone for sharing because it has given me the confidence to do the same…The first couple of pictures show the stretch marks I have on my hips and breasts and I also have some on my back as you can see in the other picture. It doesn’t look like much but I have a ton of marks on my thighs that I didn’t include pictures of. Also I just would like to include a poem I wrote about a month and a half ago. It’s entitled, I am ME.

I am ME
I may not be the most beautiful woman on the outside,
but I try to be on the inside.
I may not have the slimmest tummy,
the perfect breasts,
the most toned legs,
or the greatest butt,
but I do have a BIG heart.
I may not wear the most fashionable clothes or even the best fitting clothes for that matter,
and I may not have the most gorgeous hair,
but I am beautiful when I wear my daughter on my hip.
I may have stretch marks, fat and extra skin,
but these are my battle scars.
They show my strength, my courage, and my faith.
Without them I would be nothing compared to what I am today.
I am ME.








Me, too… (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Submissions 9 Comments

Hello everyone, I am 26 years old with a 4 month old daughter and a 24 month old son. I became pregnant with my son at age 23. At that time I had a nice tight stomach and weighed 125 lbs. None of the women in my family (on either side!) had gotten any stretch marks with their pregnancies, so I wasn’t really worried about developing any myself. Everyone told me “you’re young, your body will bounce right back!” Ha-ha. I gained 65 lbs and developed stretch marks on my legs, hips, stomach, and breasts. I was very unhappy with my body after I gave birth to my son, especially with the stretch marks. I lost 55 of the 65 lbs, but I still looked much different than before I got pregnant. I gained 35 lbs with my last pregnancy and gave birth to a beautiful little girl. This time instead of focusing on getting skinny and looking perfect, I am focusing on being strong and healthy, exercise rather than weight-loss. Even though I would still consider myself to be far from perfect looking (hello ginormous areolas!!) I am proud that my body created two beautiful angels. I also think a lot about some of the stories I have read on this website from women who have lost their children or who have sick children. I know that there are many women out there who would gladly exchange a few stretch marks, some saggy skin, and a few extra pounds, for a healthy child. Remembering this fact helps me let go of what I don’t like about my body and just be thankful for what I have. And all of you beautiful ladies that have posted on this website give me so much strength – thank you all!!





Body Image and Fear of Second Pregnancy (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Submissions 16 Comments

I am so amazed and impressed by the women on this site. I think I am at a healthy weight for an American woman, 130 as of this morning, but that hasn’t always been the case. When I graduated grad school, I was fat. Most of the women in my family are obese, and many are morbidly obese. My mother was an obsessive dieter, and destroyed her thyroid to the point where she will be on meds for the rest of her life. My aunts died in their early forties from obesity-related illnesses. My younger sister had gastric by-pass last year, at the suggestion of her doctor, who expressed worry that she may also die young. Keeping trim has been a lifelong struggle for me, including starving myself, taking diet pills, over-exercising, binging and purging. I’m not sure I have it completely under control, which is something my husband doesn’t know, and I fear him discovering. I’ve lived with a bad body image my entire life, I have hated watching my family die from obesity-related illnesses, and I fear the same fate. I was 33 when my daughter was born, and married for 13 years. We waited because I was afraid of being pregnant, and my husband was very patient. I’m turning 36 soon, and my husband has been begging for a second child, and he is losing patience with me. He tries to be understanding, but we always said we’d have a big family. I gained 37 pounds during the pregnancy, lost almost 20 of that in the first week post-partum, and only lost maybe 2 pounds over the next two years. I breastfed her for almost 16 months, yet I didn’t shed the weight. I tried to lose weight, ate healthy foods and exercised, but didn’t take pills or starve myself. Right before her second birthday, I finally started to shed the weight, but it is mostly because I really don’t eat much anymore and I walk hours everyday. Today, I weigh in at exactly what I weighed when I got pregnant, but I look nothing like I used to. I have cellulite everywhere – on my legs and bottom most of all, but also on my arms and back. Losing the weight was such a battle, and I fear going through that struggle again, and I fear getting even more cellulite. As I get older, I know that it’s now or never if I want more children, and I am ready to go for it again. I have a little red-haired, blue-eyed girl who is beyond beautiful. She’s two and a half now, and I love being her mommy. I really want to give her a brother or sister, but I am afraid. I can’t seem to shake the fear of being pregnant again. I fear what it will do to my body. Even though I have already been through it, and can hide the cellulite I now have under clothing, I worry that I will get more of it, or that my weight will balloon. I don’t like to starve myself, but it seems to be the only thing that works to keep the weight off. I took these pictures an hour ago. The cellulite doesn’t come through that well – I am not a great photographer – but it is everywhere.





First Pregnancy Before and After (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Submissions 4 Comments

I am so happy I found this site, I felt very shy about showing my stomach since I have had my son. He is 21 months now. I gained about 55 pounds during the pregnancy which was very difficult for me to go from being 105lbs to having all the extra weight to carry around. I have tried to work out and eat healthy and I am now down to 127lbs. I would love to be able to tighten my abs back up but it is taking some time. I am very lucky not to have gotten any stretch marks on my stomach although I do have some on the backs of my legs and on my butt. I just try to think about the love i have for my son and the love and joy he brings me every day and I feel better :)