Submissions

Time for a start for health (Ashley)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions 1 Comment

Hello my name is Ashley. I gave birth to my first child my daughter Riley on October 20 2008. I am 26 years old and 5’7 and currently 188 pounds. Days before finding out I was pregnant I was around 148 pounds and actually getting comments from everyone that I looked like I was losing weight. I worked as an office manager for two cosmetic dental practices and was so busy I rarely had time to eat during the day thus began loosing weight. I never once experienced morning sickness just an instant hunger and for the first time in my life craved nothing but sugar. I never ate sugar before becoming pregnant. With my new job I had just stopped working out for about 6 months before becoming pregnant due to working 12 hour days. Long story short I gained a lot of weight this pregnancy and my baby was only 6 pounds 11 ounces. My heaviest weight which was taken at my due date October 17 2008 was 205 pounds. I was induced on October 20 2008. Its now 2 months 15 days and time to start training for health physically outward and inward and mentally.






In Love With Myself (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Birth, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 6 Comments

I posted here nine months ago thinking that I would return loathing my post pregnancy body. Superficially thinking that “recovering” from my pregnancy would be important.

On April 30th ten days late I birthed a 7lb .5oz baby girl gently into my own arms. Not only was I blessed with a healthy child but I also left my daughter’s birth feeling confidant, and accomplished.

Amelia turned 8 months old yesterday and I couldn’t be happier with myself. While my body looks (mostly) unchanged my belly is just soft enough for her to blow raspberries on, my breasts loosened just enough for her to tug while she nurses, and the little stretch mark above my belly button constantly reminds me of how much I have changed in the last year.

I hope everyone that comes here finds as much happiness in her body as I have.

*First photo 39 weeks pregnant
*Second photo Just moments after our daughter was born
*Third Amelia’s first steps in the snow.
*My new and improved self.



36 and Concerned (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions 4 Comments

I came to this site for two reasons. One is to offer hope. I had my first child at 27 and bounced back well. I lead an unusually active lifestyle at my most sedentary because I have horses, goats, and a bunch of dogs and other animals. I can’t keep still for very long. As a result, I achieved a look I can be proud of about two years after my first child. The photo is me about four years after my first child. This link goes to a photo taken about two years ago.

I hope it offers hope to a few and a reality check for those who need that. I never became Twiggy thin, but the larger breasts and hips became assets because I thought of them that way. To some, this is a picture of a woman who is much too thin. For others, it may be a ray of hope. Either way, it shows that the postpartum body need not be something to feel ashamed of. I’m quite sure this photographer realized I’d given birth and still he felt the picture (NOT airbrushed) was beautiful enough to appear on his web site.

That said, I know genetics played a role and that being older will make it that much harder to achieve the same results, if they can be achieved at all. That brings me to my second reason for being here. I have remarried since that picture, and am a couple of years older. I don’t look appreciably different, perhaps a few pounds heavier. My new husband loves my body and is, in fact, proud to show me off. I want to keep him happy with my body as long as I am able. I also want to offer him another child. He loves me and all three of our collective brood and has a great deal to offer a new baby. I am struggling with these seemingly incompatible desires. I kick myself for being so vain, especially in light of issues like stepsisters, a stepfather, sibling rivalry, education, finances, etc, but I am no more than human.

Most of the women here seem so young to me, and it makes me think “But they are not like me,” even though I know that isn’t necessarily so. That human thing again, trying to make my situation different. I keep wondering if being fully physically adult before having my first made any difference. I look for the older woman who is proud of her postpartum body so I can feel some slight hope, even knowing that I will not be quite the same after another child.

In any case, I will likely continue to do what we as humans love to do-find excuses to do just as we please. I know I will get over changing my body’s shape if I really want that baby. I also know that, whatever the outcome, it will be worth it and my husband will love me regardless.



The REAL Beauty (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 12 Comments

This is my body 11 weeks after the birth of my beautiful baby girl. She saved my life and lifted my soul out of the darkness. I have never seen anything more beautiful than my daughter and every time her tiny hand grasps mine, I see the reason why I am alive. There is no greater gift and love is not enough for how I feel for her. She is everything worth living for and all that is wonderful in this world. A baby is truly a miracle no one can describe. My body cradled her inside of me and now I cradle her in my arms. I will never look the way I did before. My body gave up parts of itself to create this beautiful being. I cry about the fact that I cant wear my old jeans….I feel unattractive and fat every day…..But I realize that these changes gave me HER. So I pick myself up and I put on my jogging pants and keep going. I would give my life for her so what’s a few extra pounds and sagging breasts? Women, you are ALL beautiful. No one is immune to pregnancy changes. Accept that a human body is not meant to be perfect. It is meant to be loved. And our children will love us no matter what we look like. That is the beauty of motherhood and the real beauty of being a woman.






Will I ever be confidant again?? (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions 3 Comments

Hi im 21yrs old. well let me tell you a little bit about my story, me and my husband got married 3yrs ago i was studying and he was working as a truck driver after 2yrs on the pill we decide that we wanted to have a baby i was about to graduate so i stop the pill on 5/2007 and where trying with no luck i got so depress that i drop off from school, i after 7months finally decide to go to a gynecologist, she gave me a calendar and told me to follow my ovulation dates and gave me 3 months to try that. It worked i got pregnant the month after we were so exited. My pregnancy was great i didn’t gain any weight and my baby girl was in perfect condition then the eight month came along i started having more appetite gaining 2 to 3 pounds a week it was horrible my body started stretching everywhere. At 37 I start to have hight blood pressure and i was going to the hospital everyday my due date was November 27 but i wanted to have her the 11th on my bday but the 16th came along i started having contractions at 1am i was 38 weeks, my water brake at 9am i was dropping so slowly that i spend the hole day with contractions i didn’t wanted to have an epidural so i felt everything i got the 9cm at 5:15pm and thats when i started pushing FINALLY!!! while i was pushing i felt my skin stretching and burning my baby girl was born at 5:53pm so i had her pretty fast. She tear me and i got 5 stitches but i was all better in 4 days. Now my daughter is a month and i LOVE her so much shes my life, but i see my body and i feel horrible i cry everyday when i see my self in the mirror even my face is fat, and its not only the skin or the stretch marks its the back damage that i got from my breast and belly. will my body get better or will it stay like this. I’m waiting on my gynecologist to give me the permission to exercise. I’m happy to see that im not alone in this. my husband says that he doesn’t care but i think that if let myself be like this and i don’t do anything he will find someone that looks better but i mainly do it for me i want to feel happy with my body like i used to. I’m attaching a picture of how i used to be,my 7 months, 38 weeks and one month pp.





Honesty Isn’t Easy (Heather)

Bonnie (SOAM) Complications in Pregnancy, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 0 Comment

I am a 24 year old mother of 2, with a third on the way. By the time I meet my daughter, I will be 25. It’s been a short 5 years by many means of measurement, but make no mistake, those 5 years have encompassed more than their fair share. With my first two pregnancies, my husband and I had repeated visits to high-risk centers. Both our baby boys had fetal heart defects and on more than one occassion, our midwife could not detect a heart tone, even with Doppler. Both pregnancies were fraught with worry, but we managed to remain in the birth center the first time, and risked out the second time due to complications on my end. After multiple hospitalizations both for babies and myself, I felt that I had absolutely no right to complain about the shape my body arrived in after birth. I gained more weight than I should have, and my horrible stretch marks were the high price of that weight. It wasn’t until June of this year that I was diagnosed with a disease that caused most, if not all, of my previous, as well as our babies’ previous problems. After that, we decided to try for a third after all. Part of me dreaded it: great, another chance to become even more broken down and worn in. Here’s another sparkling opportunity for my body to become irrepairably damaged! Woo-hoo!

I quickly got over it when I first saw that little jelly bean on the black and white screen… Sort of. I was at least able to bury it deep in myself again… And now, here I am, 22 weeks into this pregnancy, and having a very, very hard time with my post-baby body image. While I’ve never been terribly positive about my body, after my boys were born, it was atrocious. I finally got the nerve to post my thoughts on my blog, here.

My only resolution for 2009 is to post a real entry to this site; I WILL post an entry complete with before and after pictures. If I can draw some strength and reassurance from all the brave and beautiful women I have seen here, I hope to be able to do that for at least ONE other woman… Even if the mere sight of me traumatizes ten other. :-P

I WILL POST IN 2009!!!


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Two-Time Gestational Surrogate and Mother of Two (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Surrogacy 4 Comments

Hi I am a 2x Gestational Surrogate. I also have 2 kids of my own Baylee 11 and Tyler 5. I am a proud surrogate of 2 baby girls. One born 2/27/07, and another born 8/25/08. I am proud of all 4 babies I have given birth to. However my first child was the pregnancy to give me my lovely stretch marks and chubb. All 3 other pregnancies gave me no additional stretch marks. My weight has been up and down over the years. I am actually at my lowest now 140lbs. I am proud of this as this is after 4 pregnancies. I would not change a thing, but do admitt I wish I did not have the stretch marks and chubb around the belly. My 2 kids were vaginal births in 1997, and one in 2003. My first surrogate baby was an emergrncy c-section, and my second surrogate baby was a repeat c-section. I am proud of them all. And have grown to accept my body as it is.


Here I am 38 weeks along with my 4th pregnancy. This pregnancy was my second surrogate baby
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This is me after my 3rd pregnancy and first surrogate baby. See how heavy I still was. Im the lady on the right.
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Here I am at 26 weeks along with my 4th surrogate baby. This is my son Tyler 5yrs old.
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This is me Christmas 2008 with Tyler again. After 4 pregnancies. I lost 42 lbs since delivering my last baby and that is 15 less than before I was pregnant. I am very proud of myself as I have always been over weight.
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I Earned My Stripes (Mama D)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions 4 Comments

For me, December 5th will mark a whole year from conception. As you all know, it’s been an intense year, and one that has fundamentally changed me, mind, body and spirit.

Today I was enjoying my son, and thinking about how much he’s already learned in such a short time. The changes are so rapid, and so monumental. He’s grabbing things now. He’s moving things. He’s starting to make splashes with his legs in the tub. He’s learning that he can actually manipulate his surroundings – interact with the world, touch it, move it – not limited to placidly watching it anymore.

I’ve been thinking about change, and how life, from birth to death is change. The idea that there is or should be some sort of “growth plateau” around our 20’s or 30’s is an illusion. Change is perpetual, and it leads to transformation. And life changes are not constant or gradual, they come in fits and spurts. Growth spurts.

So, I’m watching my son, and I’m marveling at his benchmarks and growth spurts and chubby cheeks and laughter and at some point, I ask myself, “If you are so happy for this rapid change, growth and transformation in your son, then why aren’t you celebrating your own as well?” Deep. I mean, here we are, new mothers holding babies on our hips that grew inside us feeling bad about stretchmarks and cellulite. Stupid, isn’t it?

But shoot, we don’t know any better. We get tricked into believing that having a baby is a thing you “bounce back” from. We don’t understand it as a fundamental transformation, but rather as some sort of “situation” that we will return to “normal” after.

I mean, men probably have a better understanding of what women’s post-pregnancy bodies look like than we do! Unreal. I’ll admit that at 33 years old, I’d only seen one belly with stretchmarks before I got my own. I remember feeling so bad for her. God…

When I got mine in the 8th month, I couldn’t believe it. I would just stare and stare at them in the mirror. I got more and more in that last month and they swirled up around my belly button like a galaxy. A few days after I had my boy, I finally looked at them again in the mirror. I didn’t hate them. I kinda liked them. I mean, isn’t it like a souvenir of pregnancy? You go to Florida and get a mug or a t-shirt, why shouldn’t you have a souvenir of pregnancy? I say stretchmarks are the new tattoos!

Change is still happening, and they’ll probably fade over time and the pooch will go down, but I’m not going to feel bad about them. Those marks symbolize a whole transformation in me. Those stripes taught me how to love again. Those stripes gave me hope again.

So ladies, I earned my stripes, and I’m proud of them! I say you should be too! :)

Mama D