Submissions

You don’t know what you have until it’s gone… (Kimberly)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Tattoo 8 Comments

Age: 21
Pregnancies: 1
Births: 1
3 1/2 Months PP

I became pregnant with my daughter less than a month and a half into my relationship with my, now, husband. As much of a shock as it was, it by all means was a position we put ourselves in. We were careless with our intimacy. It took a few weeks to come to the conclusion that we would continue our lives, but we would be bringing a life into this world with our own lives. My pregnancy was easy to say the least. During the first 5 months I had pretty severe morning sickness, that resulted in me losing 13 pounds my first trimester. Once I was out of the woods of the morning sickness, though, I felt that everything had started coming together. I didn’t have stretch marks, I got comments all the time about that “pregnancy glow”, my husband and I had a regular, AMAZING sex life, and I felt absolutely beautiful. However, later down the road that sex life slowed down. It became almost non-existent, and it wasn’t because MY sex drive wasn’t there. I started feeling unattractive to him, unwanted, and unsexy. I felt like I had to fish for compliments, and even when I got the result I wanted, it just didn’t feel as satisfying as I wished it to be. My last month and a half I grew large, and started developing stretch marks on my hips, stomach, and thighs. All in all, my stretch marks are nothing compared to circumstances other women have. However, I can’t help shake the thought that I still despised my late pregnancy body. I was in pain, I was exhausted and sleeping all the time, and had to leave work earlier than initially planned, suggested by my OBGYN. My husband and I were still not intimate, but now it was because of my large belly and how uncomfortable it was for me.
I went into labor on June 15th of this year, at nearly 5am. Throughout the day I dealt with mild contractions, but they progressively became more intense and unignorable. We went into the hospital around 1am on the 16th. My labor continued very slowly. They had me walking for hours to help me dilate. At 11am I was given a small dose of inducer to help, and within that same hour I was given my epidural. That was the worst part of my entire pregnancy. Due to severe lumbar scoliosis from my adolescence, my vertebrate were closer together than they normally should be. They had a hard time finding the right nerve, and also getting it in place correctly. It took them over an hour to get the correct placement, and they had to re-do the insertion of the spinal needle 4 times until it was right. After that, I was fanastic. I was giggly, happy, talkative. Around 5pm that day I decided I was ready to push. I was still in the same, euphoric mood, cracking jokes in between my contractions and pushing, laughing, and making conversation with everyone who was helping me. At 5:28pm and after over 36 hours of labor, a 7lb 10ounce, 19.5 inch long beautiful baby girl arrived. She was immediately put on my chest to nurse. And to make the situation even more memorable, my husband became teary eyed, which is not something I had ever seen in his eyes before.
The first two weeks home were miserable. I felt like I was doing everything wrong. My husband works nights at his job, and also needs to travel to Seattle, 4 hours away, nearly 1-2 weeks per month. It just so happens that the first trip they require him to make is the first week our newborn, and first child, is home. I cried, and cried, and cried. I didn’t understand why I was so unhappy. I missed my husband, wished for HIS help, and felt as if it would never get any better. Since then, it has done a complete turn around. Once my milk came in, life was much easier for all of us. I have adjusted to being a stay at home mom, as well as taking nearly full responsibilty for maintaining our daughter’s well-being while he is working at night or sleeping during the day. I absolutely LOVE my life as her mother and his wife. I have such an amazing thing in front of me, and I completely recognize every ounce of it.
However, my personal battle is this: my self confidence has been shot through the window, and I don’t know how to regain it. I, by NO means, resent my daughter for the changes my body made to accompany her development. I would rather have my body as it is now, than not have her in my life. I have never been a very confident person, however, I am at my lowest point in the longest time. I realize I am not as bad off as I nearly FEEL. But the way I feel doesn’t change just because I really am not as bad as it seems in my head. It’s hard for me to look at my body, I never spend the time getting myself “pretty” anymore. It’s funny how before I was pregnant, I didn’t like my body. I look at the very few pictures I DO have of my body from before, and I resent myself for not being confident then and realizing what an amazing figure I had. I know my body change can be easily obtained with excercise and eating well, which is my plan. I just don’t know how to raise my self esteem. I feel disgusting, I hate seeing my body, let alone my husband seeing my body. I wish I believed him every time he calls me beautiful. I believe it on some days, but I don’t on more occassions. I want to FEEL like the beautiful woman and mother that I am. I just don’t know how. I realize all of it is in my head. I have days where I feel confidence, it just doesn’t happen very often.

-Picture 1 is when I initially found out I was pregnant
-Picture 2 is around 35 weeks, the last picture I felt comfortable taking in my last trimester
-Picture 3 is just from a few days ago, 3 1/2 months PP
-Picture 4 is of my beautiful daughter, Makenna Jaylene

A young mommy of 1, 10 months later (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom 7 Comments

Coming across this website has given me reassurance that I’m not the only one out there struggling with my post-partum belly. Seeing pictures and reading inspirational stories only motivates me more than ever! I realize that acheiving my ideal body is possible.

I have to admit that I have always thought down upon my body. After having my first child, my son, I now look back and realize what was I complaining about in the past?! I had a really good body! I believe that what I felt was normal, teenage thoughts of, “I’m fat”. But in reality, I was fairly petite all along.

I became pregnant at 17 years old after only dating my boyfriend for four months. It was unplanned and shook my world. I took full responsibility of my actions because let’s face it, we all know what we are doing when we are doing it! (for most situations anyway). My decision–OUR decision–to keep our son, has been one of the best choices I have ever made.

I had the best pregnancy I could have asked for. I actually fear the next baby, whenever that may be, because it will be complete opposite of my first pregnancy! ( :0D ) I had no morning sickness, no crazy mood swings… just a relaxing, exciting, joyful, pregnancy that I spent preparing for the biggest 180 life-changer.
The only downside to the pregnancy was gaining 45 pounds that I didn’t worry about while pregnant and didn’t realize would be hard to take off after. Also, the deep, long, reddish/purple stretch marks that I accumilated on my stomach, sides, thighs, and even the back of my knees.

I went into labor naturally at 40 weeks, 1 day at 5:30p.m. the day of Thanksgiving 2008. With no epidural and after 15.5 hours of labor and 30 minutes of pushing, I delievered my healthy 9 pound 5 oz., 21 inches long, baby boy at 9:43a.m. the next day.

Having my son has kept me holding onto my dreams. I believe that without him I would still be partying and doing things that would have let my goals in life slip away. I want my son to look up to me and that means doing the right things: I am going to school to become a RN, I quit smoking ciggarettes (nothing against people who do–I personally just don’t want my son seeing me do something that I will later be telling him not to do!), and just doing what I believe a mother should be doing and acting like. Since my own mother growing up was on drugs and always in and out of my life, I made a vow while pregnant to be the opposite of that. The love I have for him is a different kind of love (that also comes with tons of worries lol) that keeps growing by the day.
His father and I have been tested greatly through this experience. He is an outstanding dad and provider to our little family, and I’m proud to say that we have continued to stay together.
But still, I can’t help but feel self-concious over my body, especially around him. It has changed so much and is so flabby and jiggly. My thighs are huge, my love-handles stick out for a mile, my stomach hangs, my stretch marks adds onto what I feel like is already not attractive, but is the last thing I worry about when it comes to my body……I do have to admit that I have made no effort to change it, and know once I do so it will make a huge difference; because hey, this body ain’t gonna get toned itself! After coming across this website, like I said in the beginning, is only motivating more to get up and start making a change. It is so nice to see that we are all women with the same insecurities, bodies, hopes, etc.

I just wanted to write this to thank all the women who have shared their stories and photos and to encourage other people to be comfortable and confident with who they are; the road I am starting to walk down myself.

Thanks SOAM

– Age: 19
– Number of pregnancies and births: 1 preg., 1 birth
– Age of children: 10 months old
– Young mommy of 1, 10 months later

Here are my pictures :: underneath it all

– Picture #1: 2 days before labor
– Picture #2: 10 months PP at a distance
– Picture #3: 10 months PP closer
– Picture #4: 10 months PP sideview

Update – 20 months postpartum and I want another baby (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Butt, Child Loss, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 13 Comments

Your Age: 22
Number of pregnancies and births: 3 pregnancies, 1 birth
The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 20 months pp
Original entry here.

It has been 9 months since my previous post, and some things have happened. At 15 months we stopped breastfeeding. I’m still a little sad, I thought we would breastfeed longer than that but we gave my daughter whole milk after she turned 12 months and by 15 months she just wasn’t interested in me anymore. Once my milk dried up I noticed all of these little tiny white stretch marks surrounding my nipples. I hate them! My right boob has more than my left and they are bigger and deeper too. I think that is because she always preferred my right breast. I’m not happy with the way my boobs turned out at all! But on a positive note I am completely fine with the rest of my body. My tummy still sticks out a tiny bit but that’s okay. I have been running for 2 months now and I can really see a difference in my muscle tone! I also became pregnant shortly after we stopped nursing but at 5 weeks had a miscarriage. I would love to have another baby, I loved being pregnant and breastfeeding, but my husband wants to wait awhile. So right now I’m just trying to enjoy my body while I have it and hope in the next couple years we have another little one on the way!

3 photos of me and 2 of my boobs at 20 months postpartum.

Tif’s Story (Tif)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Child Loss, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 8 Comments

im 21
Second child
19 months PP

i had just gotten into college and was ready to have the time of my life. however i met this wonderful guy and it was love at first sight. i got pregnant soon after. i was scared. i knew that my parents would never accept it and i also knew that they would dis own me as well. well i guess the stress of it all cause me to lose my first baby. however i got pregnant again a few months later. as i predicted i was kicked out of my house and my entire family dis owned me, i had no contact with them. i suffered a nervous brake down and stopped attending my classes, so guess what , i was kicked out of school as well and lost all my scholarships. my BF, god bless him, decided that we should move in together. which we did. i must admit i had a very easy pregnancy, no morning sickness, nothing at all. all through the pregnancy i was like no strech marks, it wasnt until the last two weeks of pregnancy when they just appered all over my stomach. i was crushed. however i gave birth to a beautiful baby daughter no complications, in fact i was laughing throughout the labor and delivery, no lie. i was very happy to be a mother, but when i went home and saw the deflated thing that used to be my stomach and all the lines, i literally wanted to jump off a bridge, i am only 21, how can i go through the rest of my life looking like this? i can never wear a short shirt every again!!!! my BF is the one that kept me sane, in fact he tells me every day how sexy i am and that my marks are the marks of a REAL woman. i stll hate them no matter what he says. i stumbled across this site and saw that i am NOT alone. so i decided to share my story with you guys. this is what i look like now after 19 months, with out really working out.

Young Mommy (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 4 Comments

I’m a young mother. I got pregnant when I was 18, and gave birth to my beautiful son when I was 19. Despite everyone’s negativity, my husband and I got through it and he’s wonderful. I was 120 before I got pregnant. I am 5’0 so you can only imagine when I was 8 months, which is when I gave birth, I was huge! I hit 165 the day I gave birth. I do love my son dearly, but sometimes I wish I was skinny again. I’ts been almost a year, he is now 10 months. I feel like I should have lost more weight by now. I’m 150, my goal is to be at least 130. The first two photos are of my stomach now. The second is my before I got pregnant. And the last one is my beautiful son, Sean.

Stretch marks and deflated boobs, but I’m doing great! (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Butt, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 22 Comments

I am 26 years old and this was my first pregnancy. I am 4 months post partum at the time of these photographs. My prepregnacy weight was 110 and I am now at 119. At full term I was 149. My butt and thighs got so many stretch marks. I still can not get any of my prepregnancy pants past my thighs. They may not ever go back. I feel like my bones have shifted and my hips have widened….but I’m doing okay. I love being a mother and my husband has been so supportive of my new body. The stretch marks on my hips and thighs can be seen when I wear a bathing suit and that makes me self conscious though they are already fading a bit. They were dark purple and angry looking when I got them. I got all of my stretch marks in the very last month of pregnancy…I thought I was doing so good until then. The ones on my boobs are fading too, but breast feeding is sucking the life out of them. I was a 34B…then a 36DD…now I’m down to a 34 C or D…so they are starting to look a little like pancakes. Everytime I start to get down on my self I just think of my little boy and that helps…quite a bit.

~Your Age: 26
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1st
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 4 months

Wishing to be confident again (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 18 Comments

My age 23. Two children ages 3 and 1

I became pregnant at the age of 19 with my first son. I was scared for about half a second, then thrilled. I was worried about what would happen to my body, I was always very fit. But I knew a lot of girls who had babies and you could not tell by looking at them, so I figured I would be the same way. I ate fairly well through out my pregnancy, but I still gained over 60 lbs! Despite constantly rubbing coco butter all over my belly I was covered in stretch marks, I was devastated. On top of that, due to my weight gain and swelling, my thighs, inner thighs, and calves were also covered. I was going to include pictures but they have faded so much the camera didn’t pick them up. So not only can I not wear a bikini, now I couldn’t even wear shorts either!! At 21 I got pregnant with my second son, I didn’t gain as much weight with him, and didn’t even use any lotions because I already had marks everywhere. And surprisingly I didn’t not get a single new stretchie.
After 3 years I still cry over them, I feel so ugly. I work out daily hoping they will magically “unstretch” but they don’t. My sons’ father and I broke up this Feb and I want to start dating again. But when it comes to sex, well I try to put it off until I just break it off because I am so terrified that I will get dumped over having them. I love my boys more then anything, and they are worth every change to my body. But I still wish it could be different. I want everyone on here to know how much you have helped me start to feel like it’s okay to look this way. Don’t get me wrong, I do feel confident and sexy… when I have clothes on.
Also I have read comments about some girls lie about not having stretch marks, it’s true I am one of them. When people tell me how great I look and ask if I got them, I say no. Because when I say yes I just want to cry.
Anyways, thanks for reading my story. Hope it can make someone feel like they don’t look so bad… honestly some posts on here make me feel like I got pretty lucky because it could be so much worse. If that’s wrong I’m sorry.

Twin Momma of Two Boys (Emily)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom, Twins 10 Comments

My name is Emily, i’m on the verge of being 18. I got pregnant in mid- December 2008! I found out the of January that i was pregnant with twins. I remember crying in the ultrasound room in the er. When i was wheeled back into my room, I told my mom. She didn’t believe me, but the doctor confirmed it. I know I’m young and should have thought more about the choices i decided to make. But, I love the boys with all my heart. I’m 6 weeks post partum. Getting my G.E.D the end of October & trying to get my life on track, so I can be the best mother I can for my boys.
I had to have them by Cesarean August 17th, 2009, Michael wasn’t growing good anymore & Zachary was taking everything from him. They decided to take them also because I had already had pre-term labor twice, once at 31 weeks & again at 33 weeks. I finally had them at 35 & a half weeks.
There my world.
Here are a few pictures of my belly at 6 weeks post-partum & a few of the boys (and one more at 8 wks PP).
Thanks for reading,
Emily

Mother of two miracles (Mikayla)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Complications in Pregnancy, First Pregnancy, NICU, Postpartum, Preemie, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Teen Mom 4 Comments

AGE: 20
NUMBER OF PREGNANCIES: 2
NUMBER OF BIRTHS: 2 both vaginal, 1 with no pain meds.

Wow, where to start. First of all I love this site. I feel like I am the only mother who got stretch marks or who is not in her pre pregnancy clothes a few months after birth. I hate that society expect that. I WAS 128 lbs pre pregnancy, and a size 6. Now I am 170 a size 12 or 14 at 5’6.

I got pregnant with my son Dec. 2006. I was a senior in high school and not at all ready to be a mom. I knew that I could do it. My boyfriend and I had been together three years already (since we were 15) and I knew it was a little soon, but we were going to be excellent parents. It was funny I thought I had the flu and after a few weeks realized hey you haven’t had a period for awhile. I took a pregnancy test one of my closest friends bought at work. When I came out of the bathroom laughing saying I was pregnant no one believed me. I went straight to my boyfriend’s house after work, he was asleep. I turned on the light and told him to look at the test. He was scared ,mad but he eventually came around and said, we were having a boy he just knew.

My grandmother died April 4, 2007 unexpectedly it was very hard, she was very special to me and we had a very close relationship, she was definitely routing for me, and always believed in me. I know she never got to meet my lil man, but in a way I believe she did

I graduated high school June 7, 2007 with a honors diploma, and at about 7 ½ months pregnant – barely showing. Life was going good and baby Noah was growing perfectly inside me. I had the epitome of perfect pregnancy.

I thought I was having contractions on July 25, 2007. I went to the Dr. who sent me to the hospital because I was contracting regularly and was 2 centimeters dilated. They gave me a shot at the hospital and some antibiotics in case I did deliver. The contractions stopped and I stayed the night to be monitored. I went home the next afternoon, with some pills to take 3 times a day till I was full term.

They didn’t work I was back at the hospital at 10 p.m. I was far enough along to just let it take its course. I gave birth to Noah at 35 weeks and 1 day. He didn’t need any help breathing. He was 6 lbs. 4 oz and perfect. It was amazing. I felt so happy and so blessed. The next day the Dr.s told me they thought he had hydrocephalus (meaning water head literally) and needed to run some test. Noah had a cyst develop causing the spinal fluid to build up in his head making it larger and larger. They sent us to a bigger hospital 2 hrs away. Noah got surgery at 4 days old. They placed a shunt on his left side of his head right behind his ear. His cyst drained and we spent 2 weeks up there getting him to eat properly. With a premature baby especially one who undergoes surgery that can be a battle. But, he caught on and on the day we left the hospital he weigh a whopping 5 lb 9 oz.

I started college online in Sept. through my local community college. I have always wanted to be a nurse and that is what I am working toward. I am currently still in school and almost ready to apply to the program yay!

Everything was going smooth and life was good till Dec. 8, 2007when my sister at age 27 passed away very tragically. It is and was the most horrible experience of my life. It is has been 1 ½ and it is still hard. I cry at least 2x a week. But, some days are better than others.

On Dec 21, 2007 I found out I was pregnant again, my son was only 4 months. I was scared, but my boyfriend had a good job, I figured I could take a year off school and we would be okay. I did know I better say bye to my body though. With Noah my body looked good, almost went right back down to same size. But, I would never let my fears of losing my body keep me from bringing life into this world. It was much sooner than expected; my due date was my grandmother who passed birthday August 23, 2008. Crazy huh?

My pregnancy went by so fast probably because I was so busy with my baby boy. At the end of June my mom took me, Noah and my nephew to Arizona. We had a blast, lounging by the pool and just getting away. My boyfriend just stayed behind and watched the house and dogs.

When we got home I was really sick, I think from the plane I caught a cold. Right when I was getting over it about 6 days after we returned home, I knew I was going into labor, 2 months early. My mom took me to the hospital so my boyfriend could take care of Noah till we knew what was going on. They said I was 3 cm dilated. They gave me steroids, hooked my up to a monitor, gave me a shot to stop the contractions which didn’t work the way it did with Noah. They were still coming.

When I was checked at 12 p.m I was not dilating anymore and the contractions got lighter. I tried to sleep, visited with my mom, boyfriend and son. They decided to head home for the night around 6pm. They figured I had a couple of days.

At 7pm when a new nurse came in I told her how uncomfortable I was and I couldn’t possibly feel like this for days. She checked me and said I was 9 cm and my water was about to break.

I replied, “so should I call my boyfriend and mom?”

Lol my mom and boyfriend made the 20 min. drive in about 10. The doctor broke my water about 7:30 and I got to 10 cm by 8pm. I pushed for about 2 hrs and my daughter Gracelynne was born at 4lbs 14oz. She was very healthy but due to her prematurity at 32 weeks gestation she spent 8 days in the nicu needing to learn how to eat.

So that is basically everything haha. But, now I struggle with all the weight gain after the two back to back pregnancies. It took a toll on my body, sometimes I cry when I look in the mirror. Then I feel so guilty for caring what my body looks like when it gave me my two beautiful children. I am slowly losing weight. I cut out regular pop, and trying to only drink 1 diet a day…the stretch marks are fading and someday I hope to smile when I see my body, but for now I take it 1 day at a time.

1st picture is me about 9 months pregnant with my son, 2nd photoe my beautiful bay boy right before his 1st surgery 3rd photo is my big ol belly with my daughter, I was about 8 1/2 months there. 4th is my little girl. 5th and 6th are my body currently and the last one are my miracles now :)

So it doesn’t really matter after All (Deineria)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Complications in Pregnancy, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 19 Comments

First, I love this site. I think it provides immeasurable comfort to moms from all walks of life, and I also feel it is a reality check for those who initially believe what they see in magazines represents a fair picture of most women.

I had my first son when I was 19. I was a size 8, 34D bra size then, and I weighed about 155 lbs. I delivered him at 38 weeks vaginally, and I weighed 205 lbs at that point. I wore a 40DDD bra when I first started breastfeeding (though that did settle into a 38DD as time went on). I weighed around 165lbs and wore a size 8/10 for the first year or so, and overall, I felt pretty “frumpy,” but honestly, it did not bother me much. I breastfed him until he was 22 months old!

I did not really mind the weight because I did not start out what most people consider thin, and my size just was not on my mind. I was married and outside of that, I did not consider my appearance.

When my son was 16 months old, my then husband and I separated and filed for a divorce, and suddenly, my appearance mattered once again – and it mattered a GREAT DEAL, and I essentially cut my eating in half, and I went down to 135lbs. At nearly 5’9”, this put me in a size 2/4. I admit, I was pleased with how I looked more so at 21 through about 23 than I had ever been as a teenager. My family is pretty vain in general, and the weigh loss brought it out in a big way in me. I was so happy to be thin, the fact I went from a 36D bra to a 34B bra was wonderful as well.

I met the man I married in the winter of 2004, and eventually, a complacency set in, and gradually, the weight crept back up, but honestly, he did not and does not mind, and I realized that the fight with food just was not worth it. By the time we married in 2006, I was in a size 6-8 and weighed about 155 lbs.

After the heartbreaking loss of my three younger siblings in a fire, any concern about weight and appearance drained totally out of me, and I went up to about 170lbs. Then, in March of 2008, I became pregnant with my second son after a miscarriage only the month before, and in October of 2008, weighing 200 lbs at 33 weeks, I had an Emergency C-section following multiple hospital stays for severe pre-eclampsia. Blood flow to the baby was severely compromised, and when they got him out, he was in the last 24 hours babies usually have of life upon blood flow being cut that strictly, but after 2 weeks in the NICU, he came home and has done so well! I pumped for quite sometime to keep milk for his IV, and then breastfed him until my milk supply went away with this current pregnancy when he was 9 months old.

My weight stayed around 168-170, wearing a size 10, thanks to breastfeeding until I found out I was pregnant in May of 2009. This will be my third BOY, and at 22 weeks, I now weigh 187lbs. My dad died in June this year, right after I found out I was pregnant, and soon after, I was diagnosed with a very enlarged aortic root valve which may dissect during pregnancy and needs replaced following pregnancy, at any rate. My blood pressure problem makes this condition worse, and I am considered about as high risk as a one can be, and the doctors have told me this has to be my last baby.

I suppose worries about the health of this baby, which will almost certainly be quite early, and how the pregnancy will effect my heart, all adds to the larger weight gain this time, but when you realize this is your last child, like it or not, weight gain as a result of a pregnancy is so trivial.

I do not think of pregnancy as something that breaks down the body, makes a woman incapable of even upholding the “ideal” body women as “supposed” to present because in my experience, life events outside of child birth, both good and tragic, led to my body changing and the insignificance of my weight, though I am aware of the changes and all, is amplified with it all.

Do not get me wrong, my weight bothers someone, actually quite a few people – even my 8 year old son and 5 year old sister make comments, as do my grandmother and mother, but I think the healthiest mindset is one that just shrugs it off as the minor thing that it is.

I am aware that I do not get attention from the opposite sex like I did at 135-140lbs, but at this point in my life, it just does not matter, and whether I have to look a bit longer for jeans and shirts that suit me is not something on my “worry” list. I would not say I am nearly as confident in my body and image at this size, overall, but I am confident as a person in ways beyond that.

I am 14 year vegetarian, so I obviously want to be healthy, but I think I can be okay at 170lbs, if that is what I weigh without having to worry over what I am eating.

Yes, I got stretch marks, varicose veins, floppy boobs (mainly because mine become SO very huge) and with effort on my part, it all looked pretty dang good while I worked to maintain it – – – it is just that the life I have been dealt in general has made all of the time put into that seem a bit wasted and the “end result” seems rather unimportant now, and maybe that is the better perspective in the first place. I love my boys, love eating things I enjoy and my husband really does not mind if I squish here and there. :)