Second Pregnancy

Accepting Change (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) African American, Belly, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Tattoo, Teen Mom 9 Comments

Age: 26
Number of pregnancies 3, Number of births: 2
Kids ages: 10 and 4 months
4 months postpartum

I was 16 when I had my daughter. Before I had gotten pregnant I was 116 lbs. Quickly after I gave birth, I returned to 116 lbs. I got a few stretch marks and dealt with it. It took years for me to be comfortable in my skin but I was glad that I was able to overcome it. Fast forward 10 year later, I gave birth to my son during my 39th week (my weight peaked at 154 lbs). It was a quick, but grueling labor. My son was born weighing 6 lbs 15 oz (my daughter was 6 lbs 6 oz) so he was kind of small. I remember the day I came home from the
hospital and I had a friend come by to see the baby. First thing she said when I opened the door for her was “You sure you don’t have another one still in there?”

As a new mom I wanted to cry, but I sucked it up. After she left I came to the realization that this weight loss progress isn’t going to be easy. Before I had my son I was 5’2 in height and about 124 lbs. Now at 4 months postpartum I am 130 lbs. I know some people might not think that it isn’t that much, but it
is still a change. Lose skin, stretch marks, uneven breast is what I am dealing with now. For the past few weeks exercise has been my best friend. At times I feel like giving up, maybe cause I am not getting the results as fast as I would like them. I have also started to count calories. That takes a lot of self
control because I still have the appetite of a pregnant woman….I WANT TO EAT EVERYTHING =)

I feel very fortunate that I have a wonderful man in my life. Sometimes I feel ashamed to be naked in front of him. Surprisingly, he doesn’t mind my flaws. He’s always touching and rubbing my stomach. I think as women we are self conscious about our appearance, and I blame the media for that. Beauty comes in
all different shapes & sizes though…..we are all beautiful because we were created by God!

I stumbled across this website through a google search, but I am so glad I found it. I appreciate each and every one of your stories. As moms, we go through many sacrifices but each one of them are worth it. I feel privileged and honored that God chose me to carry HIS kids.

First pic- A month before I got pregnant with my son
Second pic- Me and my daughter, dressed for my baby shower, I was 7 ½ months
pregnant with my son
Third pic- Last picture I took while pregnant with my son
Fourth/fifth pics- 3 weeks post partum
Sixth/seventh/eighth pics- 4 months post partum (The eighth one my stretch marks
are really visible)
Ninth pic- my babies =)

I Am Beautiful (Julie)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 9 Comments

I got pregnant at 18. I had a amaing little boy who weighed 10 pounds, and I myself, gained 98 pounds. I have stretch marks from the back of my legs to my breast. I felt so ugly, so ashamed and ruined. I thought I was a freak and lost who I was as a woman. Two years later I became pregnant with my second child, a 8 pound baby. I breast fed both my boys, and am still breast feeding the newest. My sister n law sent me your web site with the title “you are a real woman”. It hit me that my prebaby body did not define me as a woman. I now define my womanhood by being a mom. I grew two lifes inside my body and in return I am a real woman! These marks show the amazing journey I have been through.I am 23, I had a baby a year ago and I am beautiful….You are welcome to share my story and pictures. I hope by others seeing them, that they will know they are beautiful and to be proud of their body

Blooming Second Pregnancy (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Mom over 30, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 15 Comments

This is my second pregnancy and I am 33 weeks now and as with my first pregnancy I am absolutely massive. I am a proud 32 year old mummy of a lovely 6 year old girl delivered via emergency c section and hoping for a natural birth this time round. Must admit not relishing the challenge of getting rid of the jelly belly once baby is here!!!

38 Weeks, 4 Days (Bethany Actually)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 9 Comments

Originally posted over at BethanyActually.com back in November.

I’ve said it more than once: I don’t do belly shots.

I’m grateful to have had two healthy pregnancies. I have seen too many friends and relatives struggle with infertility and grieve over ectopic pregnancies and miscarriages to ever take my relative ease in getting pregnant and carrying babies to term for granted. I think it’s amazing that my body is equipped, like all mothers’ bodies, to do such miraculous things as grow, birth, and nurse babies. I think a pregnant woman’s body can be beautiful, and I don’t mind other people’s weekly belly shots a bit.

That said, however, I will confess: I don’t take photos of my belly mostly because I don’t like being pregnant at all. It’s a means to an end for me. I don’t like feeling the baby moving around—it’s usually uncomfortable and sometimes downright painful. Maternity clothes annoy me beyond telling. It drives me crazy how absent-minded and butterfingered pregnancy makes me. And can we talk about how much I hate sleeping on my side? I hate it with the fire of a thousand suns.

Before Troy and I were parents and people asked how many kids we wanted, I always said, “We’ll have one and see how that goes.” When Annalie was born, I remember thinking just minutes after, Yeah, I could do that again someday. Giving birth wasn’t exactly the most fun thing I’ve ever done, but I did it and when I was done I was proud of myself.
Breastfeeding wasn’t exactly a picnic at first. Annalie being a tiny preemie made it a challenge from the start. Added on top of that, she had a not-quite-right latch that went uncorrected so long that it affected my milk supply and led to weeks of pumping and using a supplemental nursing system which was just as fun as you might imagine. (No fun at all. I should blog all about that someday.) But I was determined to succeed, partly from stubbornness and partly because I am lazy and breastfeeding is so much less work than bottles, whether they’re used for pumped breastmilk or formula.

Eventually, we realized we were going to have to supplement the nursing with a few ounces of formula per day. I gladly said good-bye to the SNS and we reluctantly added one bottle-feeding to our day. It affected how often Annalie nursed each day exactly zero. She still nursed every hour or two, night and day, till she started eating solids a couple of months later. Then she cut out maybe one nursing session per day. She didn’t sleep through the night till she was 13 months old, and she continued nursing till just past her second birthday.

I guess what I’m trying to convey is that although I don’t like being pregnant, I do appreciate other parts of having babies. Giving birth was painful but amazing. Breastfeeding was difficult at first but we stuck with it, found our groove, and I daresay we became experts at it. So although I have been grumping my way through this pregnancy and pointedly not taking weekly photos of my growing belly, I am looking forward to meeting our second daughter and enjoying her babyhood in a way I couldn’t with Annalie because this time I have experience under my belt.

Last night, as I passed by the mirror in our bedroom just before going to bed, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and the cozy-looking room beyond me. I remembered this photo of Jen’s and grabbed my camera. Here’s hoping I won’t have many more opportunities to take photos like this one before we meet our baby girl.


38 weeks, 4 days

Elliora Violet was born on November 29, 2010.

The Perfect Food, Not Quite the Perfect Packaging (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Breastfeeding, Breasts, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 11 Comments

Age: 30
# of pregnancies and births: 2 pregnancies, 2 births
Ages of children: 3 and 9 months

When my first daughter was born she showed a clear preference for my right breast to nurse from. When she began biting ‘lefty’ terribly to the point of bleeding I decided to nurse her exclusively from my right breast. I did consult with Dr. Newman first and he recommended it. So began her near 3 year career of nursing from one breast, til the day she weaned on New Years Eve 2010 of her own accord. She nursed through my entire second pregnancy and well after my second daughter was born. After my next little lady was born, the same thing happened. A clear preference for my right breast and a severe distaste for poor ‘lefty’. I decided to pull my left breast off the menu and now my second darling daughter only nurses from the one side.

Because of this I am very lopsided. “Righty” is a D cup, full, covered in stretch marks, veiny with a lovely pink nipple, always ready to fill a tiny tummy with milky goodness. “Lefty” is a small B cup, soft, even toned skin and near empty. It sure tries to keep up with the non-demand for milk though.

I do rely on the thoughts that someday they will soon resemble each other again. Also, I’m proud that even though I’ve had strange difficulties with my picky babies and their preferences, I’ve still been able to nurse them well and as long as they’d like. I’m not ready to allow them to go back to being a source of womanly sexiness between my husband and I, but that will come someday and like a good man he respects that entirely.

We’re all done having babies, so I know I’ll look rockin’ in a bathing suit again within the next few years. Fingers crossed!

Two Beautiful Babies, One Beautiful Mommy (Mary V)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 21 Comments

Age: 24
Pregnancies/Births: 2/2
Children: 2yrs, 4yrs

I have been up and down over the last few years, blogging on this site has helped me so much. This morning I went to the gym, I go 3 days a week for 2 hours each day. As kickboxing was about to begin the instructor and I were chatting and she lifted her shirt to reveal her “mommy” tummy, it was my “mommy” tummy! She is incredibly fit and gorgeous, I was taken back by how confident she was, even while showing something that most of us go to great lengths to hide. I quickly lifted my shirt to share my dirty little secret, and now I feel incredible. I have been working hard to get fit, and I am done obsessing over things I can not change. I am lucky to have two amazing, smart children and at the end of the day I have a husband who holds me tight. Life doesn’t get much better than this!

Progress, Not Perfection (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cosmetic and/or Reconstructive Surgery, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Surgical Scar (Non-Cesarean) 17 Comments

First of all, I would just like to say that I love this website, and I have visited it nearly everyday since I found it. It is truly amazing the giant gap between the body images we are fed in the media and the REALITY of what healthy women really look like. But of course, being aware of the problem and overcoming the problem are two very different things, and the latter takes an immense amount of work to accomplish. I think I am getting there, but I know I have a long way to go. Some days are better than others. So, here is my story…

I became pregnant with my first child three months shy of my 20th birthday. I was in a horrible relationship, but didn’t realize it yet. My pregnancy was complicated by preeclampsia, due to stress, and depression. The father of the baby, whom I was living with, was (is still) an alcoholic and drug addict. I didn’t know about the drugs then, but I did know that he rarely came home at night. I stayed up worrying many nights. When he did come back, he would often threaten to leave me, occasionally packing all of his stuff in the car. He screamed a lot, and called me names. I was in a constant state of anxiety, and I felt like I was going crazy. He didn’t want to touch me all through the pregnancy. One night, he brought home this girl- a mutual “friend” of ours- and had sex with her in our bed while I was home.

My daughter was born in March. Her father was there, physically, but not mentally or emotionally. I spent the first month after my baby was born with a family member, and then we moved back to where her father was from. The abuse got worse, and turned physical. I honestly can’t remember him holding his daughter at all. Ever. I mean, I’m sure it happened a few times, but for the most part I was a single mom (with financial support). I breastfed my daughter for over a year. After a few months though, she only wanted to nurse on one side. I know it is pretty common for something like that to happen, but in my situation, it was unbearable. I was teased by her father and even his mother for my “lopsidedness”. I won’t drag you all through the next two years, but eventually I got sick of it all and got smart. Just after my daughter’s second birthday, I moved back home, got a job and moved on with my life.

Fast forward four years. I’m happily married and have a son now too. Sometimes I sit back and wonder how I got from 2007 to today. Luck? It seems so very far away, and yet it really wasn’t all that long ago. I still suffer from depression and now I have post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and get panic attacks. I birthed my son at a birth center without any pain medication. He was a robust nine pounds even. I felt fantastic (okay, maybe not fantastic)- but pretty damn good after the delivery. It was so much better than having an epidural, even though my labor was hard. My husband is a freaking angel. He is the most supportive, loving, amazing person I have ever met. He has put up with my “crazies” for the last three years like a champ.

Last year I had a breast augmentation to try to fix my uneven breasts. I am really happy with the result- although I do have days that I wish I could have been happy the way I was. I think my doctor did an amazing job, and I think they look and feel very natural. My husband was perfectly happy with me before, but he was very supportive of my decision too.

I had lost a lot of the weight I gained with my son, but I’ve recently gained some of it back. I’m not sure if it my diet, or the fact that I stopped hormonal birth control. We aren’t trying for another baby, and use condoms, but I just wanted to see what my cycle (and emotional state) would be like off of birth control. I had been on some form or another for almost ten years. I’m really unhappy about my weight right now. I was (a tiny) 120 before my daughter’s birth, gained 65 pounds during that pregnancy, and got down to 130 pounds about two years postpartum. The second time around, I think I gained about 40 pounds, got down to 135 and now I’m about 141 or so. I can’t fit into any of my old pants- even the things I was wearing 1 year postpartum, and it is really frustrating. I’m doing an ab class three times a week, but not much else. My diet is pretty sucky right now too. I am thinking about going vegetarian again- that’s what I did last year to get down to 135. I have an old scar on my belly- it’s not from a cesarean, but very similar to one like that- so I have that kind of skin/fat overhang thing there too, which I hate!

There is a lot more to my story of course… I’m just working on being able to talk about and share it all. Thank you for reading this. If there is one thing I’d wish for, it would be for everyone to be a little bit kinder to themselves and each other. Everyone has a story- some of them are like mine. Some stories are worse, and some are better. But everyone carries something around with them.

The first five photos are of me today, and the last one is when I was about 34 weeks pregnant with #2.

Age: 25
Number of pregnancies and births: 4 pregnancies, 2 births
The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 6 & 2, 2 years postpartum

Here We Go Again (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 9 Comments

Previous submission here.

My age: 31
Number of Pregnancies: 2
Children: 21 months and 1 month
4 weeks post partum

I was surprised to find myself covered in stretch marks at the end of my eighth month of pregnancy. My previous submission shows an almost blemish free belly. Yet I am not upset about them, just as I am not upset about any of the scars on my body, they have all come with a story. If anything these are the scars I am most proud of, because they were the hardest to earn. What does upset me is the weight gain and the mommy apron. I know I am responsible for both of these things and in a way that is what makes them even more upsetting. How did I allow my body to get this out of hand?

I read posts from other moms who are in better shape post pregnancy than they were pre pregnancy, sometimes with in a few short months and I think, ” How can I be such a failure?”

I am proud of my two healthy boys and would not give them up for anything, but being a Mommy has definitely taken it’s toll.

I am hoping this post will help me to find the strength to get through the weight loss, and trials of mommyhood that lie ahead.

First four photos: 4 weeks post partum
Last two photos: 38 weeks and 6 days pregnant, day of scheduled c-section

Am I the only one? (Randi)

Bonnie (SOAM) Child Loss, No Photos (Story Only), Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 21 Comments

~Age: 20
~Number of pregnancies and births: two pregnancies. One still birth at 22 weeks pregnant. One live birth.
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: son Jacob is 15months old. So 15 months pp.

I have always wanted to be a mother. Not necessarily get pregnant at a young age I always knew I would be a good mother.. When the time came. I was dating a guy I prefer to remain nameless but for this story let’s call him joe. Joe and I were not together for very long. Just long enough for me to realize he was a loser who dropped out of high school. Didnt care about getting a job and really wasn’t going anywhere in life. So I left him. No big deal. A few weeks later I took a pregnancy test and to my horror I was pregnant. Pregnant and alone. I managed the courage to call him and tell him we needed to meet up and talk. When i told him the news he said “well I hope u get an abortion, or else prepare to be a single mother” those were exact words I can’t force myself to forget. So I then found the courage to tell my parents. They were nothing but understanding, my mom told me “what’s done is done, and now we just need topray and take it day by day”. I’m so glad I have such an amazing family.

So the days went by and I spent a lot of my time crying and wondering how I was going to do this. I looked into options. Abortion was never an option, not for me. And I couldn’t figure out how I could carry a baby for nine months and then give it up for adoption. So my decision was made. I was going to keep the baby and do the best I could. Over the next few weeks I met a guy I really liked. His name is nick, But telling him I was pregnant is not something that was on the top of my to do list. But eventually I did, I told him over the phone. Immediately after I told him, he had to get off the phone. I figured “great” I scared away the only man willing to spend time with me. A few days later he sent me a text asking if he could take me out to dinner and talk to me. Of course I agreed. He told me that he didn’t care that I was pregnant and wasn’t going anywhere. Over the next few months he became very active in my pregnancy. He went to doctor appointments, ultrasounds, and even birthing class’s. On my birthday he told me that he loved me more than anything in the world and wanted to marry me and raise this baby as his own. I didn’t know what to say. He made me so happy I couldn’t say no. Every night we would lay in bed and hen would rub my belly and sing to the baby and read him books. Before we fell asleep he would get his face right up to my belly button and whisper “I can’t wait to meet you, daddy loves you son”. Not long after I was 2 weeks overdue and scheduling a c section. On august 12th 2009 my son Jacob Dean was born at 9 pounds 6 ounces. Nick cried and said “my son is so beautiful”. Jacob had some health issues and was in an incubator for a few days and had an iv. Nick never left my side once. He ate in the hospital cafeteria and showered in my rooms bathroom. Every time Jacob cried it was his duty to change diapers since I could barely move due to the c section. Nick is an only child with no cousins. Jacob was the first baby he had ever held. But he did an amazing job. He never complained about anything and was just so great with the baby.

Then it was time to go home, and all of a sudden all the confidence I had…was gone. I didn’t have a nurse to help me when I didn’t know what to do. We were on our own. My head was filled with “what if’s”. I didn’t know how I would take care of this tiny life. Every time I looked in the mirror I was disgusted by what I saw. I saw this ugly stretch marked skin and flabby fat that hung over the top of my jeans. I didn’t fit into any of my clothes and I felt like a whale. Nick always told me how beautiful I was and that now my body is beautiful in a new way. I carried and brought a life into the world. He said I should feel proud. But whenever I would breastfeed I would sit in our room and cry, and sometimes I didn’t even know why I was crying. I had a beautiful son and an amazing boyfriend but I was so unhappy with how I looked that I looked over all that. And reality also set in that I couldn’t go back to work and we didn’t know how we were going to pay for all the things he needed. I thought for sure nick would leave when he saw what actually went into being a parent. But he didn’t, he never left our side.

Now our son is one and a half. He is a happy boy who still has a great number of health issues. We live with my inlaws but soon will have to leave since we can’t afford the rent. We haven’t paid them rent in over six months. I am back in school and actually about to graduate and get my liscence as an Esthetician. Nick is still by my side and Jacob loves him more than anything in the world. Inside I sometimes still get sad that Jacobs biological father doesn’t care about him. He is not a good guy and would not have made a good father but it still hurts me that he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care that he has a son and he has never wanted to see him, I don’t know why this bothers me, am I wrong for feeling this way? I don’t understand it and it confuses me. I wonder why Jacob and I weren’t good enough for him and his family. When Jacob grows up I have no idea what I’ll tell him. He knows nick is his dad. Anyone can make a baby. But a parent is a nurturer. A role model. And a provider. Nick is the one who gets up with him in the night, feeds him in the day, plays with him at the park, picks when up when he falls down and gives him praise when he does something good. I feel sad that his biological father will never know what am amazing child Jacob is. And I think I’m wrong to feel that way.

I know my life is not that interesting and thank you to anyone who read this far. I guess I just needed to vent, tell someone my story. I always am at home and crave adult interaction. I’m scared because my son is almost out of diapers and I know I can’t afford to buy him more. Sometimes I wonder if I’m the only one who has these feelings. Are there other women out there who can relate? Who have input? I am eternally grateful to my boyfriend. He dropped everything he used to love for Jacob and me. He always tells me he wouldn’t change his decision for the world. He wants to try again for another baby. He loves being a father and he is great at it. My family loves him and they love that he is taking part in raising Jacob. They are grateful he came into our lives as well. Some people tell me I’m wrong for letting a man who isn’t the biological father raise him. I don’t get why that’s wrong. He loves Jacob. That’s what matters. Right? This site has made me see how real women are and how real our feelings are. We aren’t like the women in magazines. We aren’t back to a size two a week after birth. Thank you to everyone who writes thier stories on here. It made me not afraid to speak out about my story and my life. I just wanted to feel important and tell my story. To someone who will care about it.

Picture 1: nick and baby Jacob. I wasn’t out of surgery yet.
Picture 2: my mom holding baby Jacob. My first look at him right after my c section.
Picture 3: Jacob in his daddy’s arms. 2 weeks old.
Picture 4: nick and Jacob. One year old.
Picture 5: me and Jacob
Picture 6: Jacob now at 1 and a half.

Has it been 4 years already? (Amanda)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Child Loss, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Teen Mom 7 Comments

Age: 21
Number of pregnancies and births: 2 pregnancies, 1 miscarriage, 1 birth
Child’s Age: 4 years

I can’t believe it’s been 4 years already. My body has done some amazing things! When I got pregnant, I was only 17. Like most 17 year olds, I had a nice cute little perfect body. (Of course I didn’t think so at the time…). I weighed around 140, and got up to about 180 during my pregnancy.

Afterwards, I developed severe post-partum depression. I didn’t eat, barely slept, and since I was breastfeeding I lost weight ridiculously fast. In 2 weeks I dropped down to 130, well below my pre-pregnancy weight.

Once I went on meds, my mood (and my weight) stabilized at a much more healthy level. And since then, it has been a few years. My weight has crept up slowly, and I’m back up at 180.

Anyway, here are some pictures of me. I have one of those awesome botticelli bodies, at least I think so. Of course, there are those few areas that bug me. For some reason, my stretch marks have never faded. And I have that not-so-attractive shelf because of my cesarean scar. But, in general, I think I’m pretty cute! Even without the flat stomach and perky boobs. My body says I’m good at bearing children, which I’m assuming is attractive to men. At least, I haven’t had very many people turn me down!