Second Pregnancy

Trying to be confidant the way I am. (Erin)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 7 Comments

Age: 22
2 pregnancies, 2 births
12 months postpartum

I was/am a young mom, I got pregnant at 19 and 145 lbs. (a few months earlier I was closer to 125 but had gained some weight after moving away from home) I gained 50 lbs and it took me 11 months to get back to 145, I stayed there for 2 more months and then got pregnant again. With my 2nd pregnancy I was much more careful about my eating habits and gained 30 lbs. I got back down to 145 around 6 months or so PP, and then I started counting calories and watching what I ate and got all the way down to 128!! I was super excited but got lazy and am currently at 132. I’m 5’4″ so this is a normal weight for my height but I’m not exactly thrilled. I am almost completely happy with my body, except for my saggy boobs which as long as I’m wearing a bra it’s all good and my stomach. I have a huge issue with my stomach. I’ve never had a flat stomach, I always had a slight pooch, but it really bothers me. You know those “belly bands” you wear while pregnant? I have worn one every single day since I had my son in November of 2009. I even fold it over twice so that it’s “tighter” and makes my stomach appear flatter.. Even while I was losing weight my stomach never got smaller after 145 lbs.(I measured) and that is really frustrating for me. I’ve tried cardio and all the ab workouts in the world but it will not tighten up. I’m not trying to be unrealistic and think that I’ll have this amazing rock hard stomach, but I really would love for it to just not have that weird upside down ‘shelf’ thing it has going on :/ anyways, here’s my body, I’m pretty comfortable with it like I said minus the belly.. I guess I just wish that as a 22 year old my body looked more like a lot of the other 22 year old’s haha

But, the best news is a have 2 beautiful children that I love to bits.

Update (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 10 Comments

Previous post here.

age: 23
pregnancies:2
births: 2
age of children: 2 and 3

It has been a little over a year since I have posted on TSOAM and it had been one heck of a year.
After I posted my first entry and reading some inspiring stories on here, I have decided that I cannot accept my body the way it was.
Not because I felt hideous but because I felt unhealthy (I was overweight at 4’11” 135-140 pounds)

Dancing was one of my biggest passion but because of my weight gain, I couldn’t do much. That’s when I switched gear and embarked on a journey to transform my body.

I’m not done yet, I haven’t reached my goal, but I did reach milestones.

I have lost inches off my waist and thighs (not sure how much though), dropped 10 pounds (currently teetering between 123-125), and I am able to dance again without feeling too much discomfort from fat flapping around (except I still kind of feel it in my tummy).

I hope to pass along the torch of inspiration to someone else as many of you guys have done for me and to remind you that your body is beautiful and if you’re not satisfied, you CAN do something about it!

here are my pictures.

In my golden days – a butter face at best. (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Teen Mom 29 Comments

I’m 21 years old, I have two kids. One just turned 2years old, while the other just turned 8months a few days ago. Both natural births, pretty much perfect the only good thing. I was only actually pushing for 10 minutes with the first baby and 5minutes with second baby, my labors were a breeze. I’m so lucky in that sense. I’m 8months post partum. I had them very close together. I never got the chance to really get back into shape when I became pregnant with my second child. I was down to a normal weight from breastfeeding, but I never really got the chance to work out and really tone myself up. I had known my husband for all my life.He knew me when I was still very much in shape. He’s told me how he was intimidated by my abs, and how fit and good looking I was,(I danced and played softball [catcher]) and how doughy I am now. I’ve always struggled with body image. I have always been a inwardly materialistic person. I don’t judge others, when I see others I think everyone is beautiful, but when I look in the mirror, at myself, I see the one person in the world that’s Ugly, most likely Inside* and Out*. My husband one time told me that people have told him I was* a butter face (everything’s good but her face) But now I wouldn’t even be considered that really. But in my “golden” days At least I had a body to speak of.

My life is pretty messy right now. I’m getting a divorce. He could claim that flirting with girls, telling them “If I wasn’t married I’d come save you” and emailing himself nude photos of these girl so he could keep them but delete them from his phone (hiding it from me) was acceptable. I Never confronted him about the photos ever. I knew what his response was.

He’s always wondered why I have body issues telling me “I love you darling, and you are perfect to me, that’s what matters, I find you sexy” But a lot of the burden of my issues became magnified 3 weeks after I had my first child, I found saved pictures of a girl he dates (a woman who shared my name) in her sexy halloween costume (it wasn’t even August yet….) and of her doing her “pole dance” routines. She has a wonderful body. I couldn’t help but think “this is the girl he wants”

He never really helped me with the kids, and I’ve always picked up the slack, I never got ME time. I never shopped for myself. I gave everything and received nothing, and to me this was normal, and not toxic, to me I still see it as acceptable behavior.

I was texting a co worker- a male. He sent me a photo of himself with his ‘hair’ cut; it was provocative, but unprovoked (unlike my husbands female counterparts where he’s asked for them) He found it, I left my phone in the car with him, cause in my eyes I had nothing to hide, he got the text.

This to my husband WAS cheating. in HIS HEAD i was a whore, who had sex with this man and did terrible things. He berated me in front of his family brought them all in, people I loved as much as my mom and dad. People who treated me like family and he painted me this snake, something awful. I was shamed in front of people I loved dearly for something that wasn’t my fault. Maybe talking to this man was a bad idea, but much of the time I was talking about my issues with food, how I had been restricting my diet, how my felt about my mother in law who to me is my MOMMY was dying of cancer, how I didn’t know how I could handle her death. how I didn’t know how to handle Sergio’s reaction. How what he’s done hurt me. This man listened, unlike my Husband. And he would try to flirt but i ALWAYS drew a line telling him “I’m a married woman and in no way will I betray my Husband ” He sent the photo and in the end I took responsibility for it, to me my actions were still inappropriate and I am not excused.

But never were his, but he felt they were.And to me – that was enough.

My husband was my first love, first kiss, and he took my virginity. I believed all his words.

We are now separating and divorcing – he’s been dirty and so completely opposite of what I thought I married – he’s been a monster. He kept me from my kids for a month with bogus protective orders and played the court like a toy. (they didn’t appreciate it in the end and i now have my kids)

I didn’t eat much this entire month, I honestly can’t recall eating anything. I must have though otherwise I would have passed out – I nearly did in court.

I missed my oldest sons 2 year birthday. It killed me, I still cry about it sometimes.

I drank water hoping to drown myself. My only thoughts were “Soon this will be over and I’ll have my kids i can only speak the truth and the truth will guide me to my children (it did) And in this moment I can’t bare to eat is a moment I can have my body back – I’ll be skinny soon enough”

I have terrible wrinkles from where I guess my skin stretched and jammed together like a spring set loose. I have two belly buttons it weight. dragging down. I want it gone.

I still can’t eat much, my body has gotten used to such a small amount of food that it sickens me to eat, and when I do I feel disgusting. I just want to be the size i was when I started to date Him.

16 – maybe it will be a reset button. I don’t do it for other men – I don;t think any man will accept me with two children. At least not in the town I’m in, but this place is all I know. My life is pretty much over but at least I can be happy with my body. And make my children’s joyous and fulfilling. for me though all i Want is to look in the mirror and say “wow flat stomach skinny waist beautiful collar bone, gorgeous legs, and a cute butt”

I reached 150lbs with my first pregnancy, dropped to 135 Until I got pregnant again and reached 155 lbs with my second.

I am now 120lbs, But my stomach is still there. I want to get down to 100. I’m doing INSANITY. even with my minute diet. I wake up feeling smaller, But i fear its all in my head and i’m diluting myself

I’m afraid I’ll never get rid of this saggy wrinkly thing. I’ll always have a “w” and a double belly button. that when I’m laying on my side this GROWTH will roll over lazily like jabba the hut.

I feel like even if I don’t seem like a terrible person with my story – I know I am a terrible person in some way. I know I am. I’m not good enough for anyone. Inside or Out. I read some of these entries and cry wishing i could be half the woman these gals are. But I have these two amazing boys, my only blessing. My only gift. The only thing that makes my heart worth beating.

And people tell me to be proud of my belly cause they were the result – but I see them, and they are in my heart. I don’t need this belly I don’t have to be proud of this belly.

For me I see this belly as a curse, maybe if i was a better person god, the cosmos, whatever would have blessed me with the ability to be skinny.
That my life would have fallen like puzzle pieces instead of shattering like glass.

I have to rebuild everything that I worked so hard to gain – and in the end I feel like “what if I really am just a worthless weight, and this belly is just showing me how true it is”

thank you for this website it’s an inspiration and this has been a great outlet.

Trying to be Patient: With My Body and My Husband (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Butt, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 45 Comments

~Age: 27
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2 pregnancies, 2 home births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 4 weeks PP

I am 4 weeks to the day PP with my second pregnancy. And like with my first pregnancy I don’t have much to show for it. During the course of my first pregnancy, I gained 18 pounds (although, when asked I lie and tell people I gained 20). And why for God’s sake is anyone asking what a woman gained during her pregnancy anyway? She gained a baby! Anyways..

I was cognizant of my weight gain, or lack there of. Comments from my friends or strangers pointing out how skinny I was only made me feel worse. I even had a few people tell me that I was going to have a tiny 5 lb baby. I bit my tongue and thought I (we) will prove them wrong. I was determined to gain weight. I wanted to have a home birth and so I knew how important it was to maintain a healthy and low risk pregnancy. I kept a record of what I ate, I ate every few hours, whether I had an appetite or not and I made a goal to eat at least 80 grams of protein a day. In the end, my son was 5 days over and I gave birth (at home) to a beautiful and healthy 8.0 lb 22 inch baby boy.

My second pregnancy was along those similar lines. I gained 25 lbs. I wore my regular clothes until I was 7 months pregnant. No retaining water, no stretch marks, no vaginal tear during delivery, blah blah blah. You are hating my right now. But please let me take this time and space to get this off my chest, because I can’t talk about this with my sister-who gained nearly 90 lbs with my nephew and has stretch marks covering her hips. And I can’t explain my feelings of dismay about my body with my best friend-who just had her first baby and gained 70 lbs and looks like Freddy Kruger tried to claw his way through her stomach.

This is my husband’s first child. At 5 months pregnant, he started to lose interest in sex and by 8 months it was completely gone. For me it was the exact opposite. If I had been a sexual creature before being pregnant, I had become a sexual MONSTER during pregnancy. So when he finally told me he wasn’t comfortable having sex until after the baby was born, I was… sad, mad, disappointed, confused.. etc. He blamed it on my huge belly (which really wasn’t that huge). Finally he admitted that he just wasn’t attracted to me. Ouch.. I tried being empathetic while at the same time I was completely enraged. ‘ I have needs God Damnit! I don’t care if you are not attracted to me!’ But instead I told myself to be patient. And even though I was told by strangers constantly that I was such a cute pregnant woman or that I looked great being 9 months pregnant or getting whistled at (twice) while getting into my car, the only person I wanted to find my attractive didn’t, so none if it really mattered.

I stopped being comfortable being naked around him and would wear my towel from the bathroom to the bedroom. I got dressed standing behind the closet door. I started sleeping in his t-shirt and boxers instead of just my underpants. I had the sense that he was completely repulsed by me. I tried explaining to him how this was affecting me and that I needed to feel desired by him. But my pleas didn’t hold any water. I was worried about how this tension between us would affect our planned home birth. If I am this uncomfortable around him now, would I feel comfortable laboring with him? Would it cause me to have complications during my labor?

And then the day came and we labored together just fine and it was the happiest (along with the day my son was born) day of my life. And for the next few weeks I contentedly set about fulfilling the task of 24/7 care of my daughter. Then last week I stopped bleeding. Hurray! I cautiously talked to my husband about the cessation and opened the discussing with him about when he would feel comfortable having sex again. He didn’t seem so thrilled. But the next day we tried. It was OK. Probably pretty average for the first time you try to have sex after baby. But that was a week ago and even though it’s been two months since we have had sex (except for our first “try” last week) he is showing no interest at all. And my self esteem is plummeting. He blames it on, ‘I am a mother now’ and he sees me in this “motherly light” and our daughter is always nursing and she is in bed with us and blah blah blah.

Just because I am a mother doesn’t mean I handed over my right to being sexy and that I no longer want to be desired by my husband.
So SOAM, here I am 4 weeks PP with my body in great shape for just having had a baby and…. I HATE it! I want my husband to desire me and he doesn’t. Fat or skinny, it does not matter what you look like if the man you are madly in love with has no interest in being intimate with you.

Young Mother of Two, Nearly Six Years Postpartum (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Legs, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 4 Comments

Age: 28
Pregnancies: 2
Births: 2, both vaginal.
I have 1 girl age 9 and 1 boy age 5.
Nearly 6 years postpartum.
Height & weight: 5’1 3/4 (those 3/4 totally count) & 124lbs.

Like many of you here, I’ve never liked my body. I was a teen mother, pregnant at 18. Before I had kids I struggled my my self loathing, but for different reasons than most. I was too thin, before my wonderful girl I was 87lbs. I did everything I could to gain weight, I ate donuts every day put butter, mayo & cheese on everything I could, tried to be as inactive as I could bear. I was still boney and angular, I felt I looked like an 8 year old, not the woman I was. Who could ever want me, when my body was covered in points? I wore baggy clothes to hide myself and carefully avoided touching people so I wouldn’t stab them with my angular hips and boney elbows. I panicked when people tried to tickle me, because if they touched me they would know how disgusting I was.. Just a walking skeleton. No one could ever love bones, my hugs would comfort no one. When I wore a bathing suit I wore T-Shirts over them so no one would see how my breastbone protruded from my chest and spent the whole time in the water or pulling the shirt away from my body in hopes no one would notice my child form. Well-meaning people handed me pamphlets telling me that there were people who would help me with my anorexia that I didn’t have. I tried wearing multiple layers of stretch pants under my jeans to make myself look thicker, but the biggest pair I owned were size 3. People still handed me pamphlets, brought me plates of food and watched me to make sure I didn’t go anywhere after eating. I understood how they felt, I looked sick and how could that just be the shape I was without starvation. Boys called me “Breastless” as a nickname and teased that I would be a virgin all my life because I wouldn’t ever look like a woman. Teenagers suck.

Eventually I found someone who didn’t see me that way and to make a long story short, we got pregnant. I got stretch marks all over my lower back and breasts, big ones. My face swelled up like a balloon. Towards the end of my pregnancy I got some matching ones on my hips, belly & thighs. My skin never stretched well, got stretchmarks on my tiny hips at 12 and all over the back of my calves one summer. So although I coated myself in greasy cocoa butter 3 times a day, it wasn’t surprising that I got stretchmarks while my girl was growing. All in all I gained 47lbs, my obgyn was thrilled, due to my low prior weight they wanted me to gain a lot. She was born (6lbs 9oz) and I made the mistake of looking into a full length mirror when she was a week old and burst into tears. As time went by, my stripes faded and I got less swollen looking, my weight dropped to 105. I couldn’t understand why my tummy never went away, although I was pretty happy at being able to finally put on some weight and look more normal. I even got boobs out of the deal, although breastfeeding made my areolas stretch much bigger than they used to be. I was pretty ok with the way things turned out, but tried to make sure E never got a good look at my new stomach.

Nearly three years later we got pregnant again, this time a boy. A few of my stretchmarks deepened, my face got swollen again, but all in all not too bad. Except for two days where my legs swelled up like sausages and I got stretchmarks all down the length of my legs. They were so dark and friend kept asking me what happened to my legs, did I fall? It was summer and I wore shorts and skirts in an attempt to keep cool. There was no hiding them. I carried him lower and bigger than my first, everyone swore I must be having twins. The heaviest I got was only 4lbs more than I had gotten with my daughter. Although my the first thing my mother-in-law said when she saw him was that he had my double chin. Two months after I turned 22 he was born and weighted a healthy 7lbs 6oz. The weight took a lot longer to lose and my goal was never to be thin, just less belly. Two years later I was down to 117 and had gotten pretty good at concealing my still loose tummy. However, my stomach is still the thickest part of me and it never really gets better. I lose weight it gets saggy, I gain any it starts there first and people ask if I’m pregnant.

Now it’s been almost 6 years since I had my boy and I’m the heaviest I’ve even been without being pregnant. Admittedly I have been eating more junk food lately. It seems that now that I’m approaching 30, my body is finally gaining weight, much easier than I though was possible. I don’t really care about the number on the scale, my doctor says my BMI is right where it should be.. But I feel fat now. I know I’m not but clothes just don’t fit right and seem to always make my stomach look big. I think because I used to be so thin, it’s warped how I see myself. After all I’m 6-7 sizes bigger than I was before, so feeling bigger than I was is inevitable. I could work out more, but I’m afraid I’ll get too skinny again. I never want to be that girl again, but I wouldn’t mind loosing the stretch marks and maybe being a little more tone. I’ve got hips now, but also a muffin top. My husband (the same guy who was the only one to call me beautiful) insists I look great, but I can’t believe him even though I know it could have been worse. I’ve thought about having more kids, but we can’t afford it, two is enough for now. There’s also a part of me which is terrified as to what another baby would do to my body.

This is what I look like today and even though there’s a few things I’d change, if I couldn’t I’d be at peace with it. There’s more to my story, but I tried to keep it more about the physical changes that came with my children.

Mid-Thirties Mom of Two (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 12 Comments

2 pregnancies, 2 births
3 years post-partum

Pregnancy was harder on my mind than on my body. I hated that my body was no longer my own to do with as I pleased. Post-partum, I hated that breastfeeding completely changed the look of my breasts, leaving me lopsided. I was resentful every time I looked in the mirror or passed a window, every time I tried on clothes.

With my 35th birthday looming, something inside of me changed. I’m turning 35. I’m supposed to be an adult. Where is that self-acceptance that everyone talks about? So I decided to find it. And, in my search, I found the beautiful women on this site. You have all inspired me to love myself, to embrace my body, and to be proud of what it has done. I’m now a content 35 year old mom of two, who just happens to have uneven breasts. But who cares? I’m a mother.

It’s a Fair Trade (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Child Loss, D-MER, Postpartum, PPD - Postpartum Depression, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 10 Comments

~ Age: 27
~Number of pregnancies and births: 3 pregnancies, 2 births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 2 year old and 6 month old

I love my life! I have an amazing, supportive husband and two adorable little boys who I get to spend everyday with as a stay-at-home-mom. We live in a quaint home in a peaceful neighborhood with family close by. It’s wonderful that they can share with us the joys of raising our children.

It’s been a lot of ups and downs in our mere 3.5 years of marriage, including losing our first pregnancy; a missed miscarriage confirmed at 10 weeks. It was a difficult three weeks as we waited for my body to pass the pregnancy naturally but in that time my husband and I grew very close and became certain in our decision to start a family. Fortunately, following the miscarriage, I was very lucky to have two complication free pregnancies (although physically they weren’t easy to get through) and relatively easy and uneventful vaginal deliveries. The crowning moment of my life was when the doctor told me to look down and to take my youngest son by the armpits. I pulled him from me, up to my chest and we met for the first time. I said “Hi baby” and his gaze, while I’m sure quite fuzzy, managed to meet incrediby intensely with mine. In that moment I knew the world and our family was complete.

I read and hear about other women’s stories and journeys into motherhood and I feel so blessed that I have been able to escape many of their difficulties. Yet, there is still a pain I am living with. It’s like a nagging that plagues my mind every second of every day. A nagging that I’m not good enough, not perfect enough. I’m not the wife or mother or housekeeper that I should be. I should be better with money, better with my diet, better about reading to my kids, the list goes on and on. Part of this little voice has always been there in the back of my head, the other part is a little monster that has risen out of PPD and D-MER.

Most people are knowledgeable about post-partum depression, but not with D-MER, so I will explain. D-MER, short for Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex, refers to mood swings created from the drop in dopamine that triggers a milk letdown while breastfeeding. What this means is that every time my son latches on, I get an intense feeling of panic, dread, guilt, frustration, annoyance, etc. The feelings change and are never the same from episode to episode. I have found that these negative feelings that ebb and flow many times throughout the day, along with PPD and sleep deprivation make it very hard to maintain a strong sense of self. I battle my demons with positive thoughts and some help from an antidepressant. I don’t win every battle but so far I am winning the war. Breastfeeding is very important to me and I didn’t want to stop because of this stupid thing called D-MER, so I keep fighting and try to keep winning. I have always had good self esteem and a healthy body image but the physical and emotional toll of bringing my babies into the world and nourishing them has made the negative voices creep in. ‘I’m not good enough. If I was skinnier and fitter then maybe I will be good enough’.

Most days I’m pretty certain that I will get a tummy tuck and a boob lift when we can save the money for it. On my better days I can look past the sagging skin and simply accept that this is the new me. In the mean time I’m trying to lose weight and get in shape. I ran my first 5k a few weeks ago!! Ok, well, I walked half of it. But never in my life did I think I would complete a 5K and I did it just 5 months after having my second baby in less then 2 years!

Currently I weigh 167 lbs. I started both my pregnancies at 174 lbs and got up to 194 lbs with my first and 202 lbs with my second. My current goal weight is 155. I could get down to 135 which is where I was in college, but who am I kidding, I’d rather be a little pudgy and get to enjoy all the tasty food life has to offer then be skinny and have to miss out, lol!

At the end of the day, I’m not thrilled with my body but I have so much in my life to be thankful for so I choose not to stress about it. I have an openhearted and inquisitive toddler who bring so much fun into my life and my 6 month old is a ball of smiles and laughs. I have a husband who is my soul mate and who loves me even at my worst. Those are the only things that really matter in this world. If I have to put up with a little sagging skin for all of that, I’ll call it a fair trade :)

I’m hoping that by sharing my far from perfect body it will help other women feel more comfortable with theirs.

Picture 1: Nursing
Picture 2: What happens when I pull the sag out :(
Picture 3: Side view
Picture 4: The hips that gave me easy deliveries
Picture 5: You can see I just fed on my left side, lol

Updated here.

Afraid of Second Pregnancy (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 11 Comments

First: I am very grateful for this site, it has helped me so much to accept my body.
Second: I’m not a native English speaker, I’m trying my best but don’t be surprised if you find some mistakes. :-)

Age: 25
Pregnancies: 2
Births: 1
18 months pp, 7 weeks pregnant

I was 22 when I found out I was pregnant. It wasn’t planned but I knew from the very first moment that I would keep the baby and my boyfriend also accepted the thought of becoming a dad. My pregnancy was relatively easy, some morning sickness, some back pain, but nothing serious. I liked my growing bump and my body until I found out that my boyfriend watched porn. I mean I knew that he had done this before but during my pregnancy it had gotten crazy, I couldn’t leave the room without him switching on the computer and starting his little films. I asked him to stop it but he didn’t. He refused to have sex with me, kept watching porn instead and it shattered my self esteem. I started hating being so big. Then at 35 weeks I discovered the first stretch marks on my belly. Somehow I always thought I wouldn’t get them because my mother didn’t get one with two pregnancies. I hated my body and cried a lot and I was so relieved when my water broke at 38 weeks. I had to be induced and labor was hell, after 15 hrs my son was finally born with 3000g (6.61 lbs) and 49cm (19.29 inches). The next day I saw that the underside of my belly was covered in purple stretch marks. I was disgusted, I had never seen a woman with stretch marks before.

Losing the weight (I had gone up from 57kg (125 lbs) to 73kg (161 lbs)) was no problem thanks to breastfeeding and also I started working out again 2 months after I had given birth. But I still hated my saggy boobs (I got shrinking stripes on them when I stopped breastfeeding after 10 months. SHRINKING stripes!), the extra skin on my belly and, most of all, my stretch marks. Nobody in my family has them, neither do my friends, they were all like “Didn’t you use moisturizer?”. Of course I did, several times a day. My boyfriend said things like “They will go away, right? You will go back to normal, right?” Um, no. They just recently faded, they were purple for months. Hating my body, dealing with my bf’s ongoing addiction to porn, having a baby that cried endlessly – I hated my life. I think I might have developed a depression, but I never went to the doctor to have it confirmed or treated.

Those dark months eventually passed, my boyfriend finally understood that he was seriously hurting me (I had started to cut myself, something I hadn’t done since my teenage years), my son stopped crying all day and all night long and I felt better overall.

Although I am still the only person I know that has developed stretch marks during pregnancy, I finally came to terms with my body. It could have been worse. They are not all over my belly. I still don’t like to see myself in the mirror and I’m not sure if I will wear a bikini this summer (or ever again), but at least I don’t cry over my body constantly anymore (only on bad days).

And now I’m pregnant again. It was planned this time and I am currently 7 weeks along. I am terribly afraid of getting more stretch marks, since I already know that my genetics suck when it comes to this. I hope I can avoid them by limiting my weight gain to 20 lbs and working out a lot. I am currently 53kg (117 lbs) at 167cm (5.48 ft). I go to the gym 3-4 times a week and hope I can keep this routine up as long as possible. In my first pregnancy I stopped working out when I was 7 months along because I had 2 jobs and went to the university and just didn’t find the time to go to the gym regularly. Hopefully I’ll be more disciplined this time!

Pictures:
I don’t have any prepregnancy pictures of my belly because I never really liked my body.
#1: 36 weeks pregnant. First stretch marks visible.
#2 and #3: me now, 18 months pp and 7 weeks pregnant

Updated here.

Motherly Beauty (Rachel)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 2 Comments

21
1 daughter (18m) and trying for another

I am a 21 year old mother of an 18 month old baby girl. I came upon this site while searching what to expect of your body after having a second child, as my husband and I are trying for our second.

Before becoming pregnant I had what most would call the perfect body. I am 5’8″ weighed 145 lbs…solid muscle. I never knew what love handles were. I could pull anything off. My boobs were amazing. Better than what most women pay to have done. I wore a size 5 and a 34b. Beautiful hourglass shape…I was in love with my body and proud of it as I put a ton of work into it. (picture below)

I continued to wear a size 5 through out my pregnancy. I experienced a ton of sickness. I could not even brush my teeth without vomiting. The smell of food sent me running for the bathroom… My first 3 months I lost 15 pounds. I looked like a stick person… My size 5 jeans were baggy on me… I was miserable…(picture also included) The picture of me with the 12 gauge was at 5 1/2 months, closer to six. Those jeans fit perfectly prior to the pregnancy… I had a small bump barely visible then… I did not start to show until 8 months…its like I woke up one morning and BAM! I routinely used Palmer’s and bio oil through the entire pregnancy but around 8 1/2m I developed them on my sides and one down the middle of my stomach…the same time my belly developed so did my breasts. I went from a 34b to 38D almost overnight, leaving me with horrible stretch marks around the entire perimeter of both of my breasts. I was all baby. After having my daughter who was 7lbs 13oz and 21 1/2 in, my body looked like it did before having her (2hrs later lol) then the water weight and the swelling set in. I wrapped my stomach with a corset type garment for the first 5 months after.. I had the infamous pouch on the front and love handles…which I hate! I have such a long torso that the love handles make me mis-shaped…its like they set in right above my hip bones just on the sides and not all the way around… crazy… Well anyways going from my pre-baby body to this mishapped mess really took its toll on me… I had a hard time adjusting to my curvy body and saggy boobs but my husband has helped me a lot… According to him I made him sick before having the baby because I was too skinny and a woman is supposed to have curves and meat on her bones… I agree with that now… I have come to love who I am. My mother tells me that I finally look like a healthy woman. And I feel that way now… I do still run nightly (2 miles) and toning…abs and push ups to maintain myself. Now that we are trying for our second child I am going to continue running through the pregnancy, as I was afraid that if I did the first time around I might lose the baby. I hope that my stories and picture give you new and expecting mothers hope… I didn’t know of resources like this for my first child.

Black swim suit is 17m after baby
rebel swim suit is 1m after baby
gun pic and red shirt are 5 1/2m prego
scrubs is before baby
black and white is 8 1/2m prego