Pregnant

Plus Size and Pregnant -Again (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Child Loss, Plus-Sized Mom, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 12 Comments

I am 24 years old and on my third pregnancy. First pregnancy was a miscarriage at 12 weeks. Second pregnancy resulted in my beautiful Daughter born 2/21/08. I am now 22 months PP with daughter’s pregnancy and I am 20 weeks pregnant with this pregnancy (another girl). I’ve always been overweight, expect for one time in high school! With my first daughter I was a size 13 at 165 lbs at 5’3″. My pregnancy ended with me hitting almost 210. After I had my daughter I lost weight until I got down to 175 lbs but my body carried weight differently now. At 20 weeks I am now 178 lbs, trying to watch my diet and exercise this time around. I am still in my post pregnancy pants size 14-16 but I wear maternity at well when I want to feel extra comfy. I have been very uncomfortable with my body since the birth of my daughter. Between the stretch marks and the extra skin/fat and my new found hips and butt I have been really hard on myself. I want to feel beautiful but it is hard when you don’t feel like you will ever get your body back again. Anyways I know there are so many other woman, big and small, that feel the same as me and I wanted to share my story and pictures to show you that you are not alone. I hope someone finds comfort in my post as I have found comfort in others posts.

~Your Age: 24 (25 this month)
~Number of pregnancies and births: 3 pregnancy, one m/c, on birth, currently pregnant DUE 5/24/10
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: Daughter is 22 months

18 months postpartum (kimq33)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Piercing, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Tattoo 3 Comments

It took me a long time to accept that my body isn’t going to look the way it did when I got pregnant. I was 18, and 110 lbs at the time, and my stomach was flat. When I was pregnant, I loved my body. I thought it was adorable. I only got a few stretch marks on my thighs, and none on my belly. I used Palmer’s Tummy Butter everyday, usually twice a day.

After my son was born, I hated my body. I gained 50 lbs while I was pregnant, and have lost 40 so far. This was without much excercise, and no dieting. It just took a lot longer than I expected. For about 8 or 9 months, I didn’t like looking in the mirror. Now I feel like I look good again. My body may not look like it used to, but it is still great. It carried my beautiful son for 9 months, what more could I ask for?

Learning to accept my new body and hopefully one day love! (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions, Tattoo, Update 6 Comments

– 22 years old
– 1st pregnancy
– 4 weeks postpartum

Firstly I would like to say that I think this website is absolutely fantastic! During and following my pregnancy, this site has made me realise that I’m not the only person struggling to come to terms with my new body and anyone who posts pictures of themselves and parts of their bodies that they’re unhappy with (and happy for that matter) are so brave! So to all you mothers who are also struggling, I want to say thanks for making me realise I am not alone!

I gave birth to my beautiful little boy on the 3rd December this year! I am 4 weeks post-partum to this day! Before I was pregnant I weighed just under 11 stone, I was a curvy and volumptuous size UK 12/14. I’ve never really had any major issues with the way I looked, I’d have my ‘fat’ days, but generally I was happy. Throughout my pregnancy I put on a total of about 28 pounds and it generally was all on my belly, so as far as I’m concerned I did quite well. Towards the end I was huge, I also went over by 13 days, so I don’t think this helped either!

Then on the 3rd December 2009 I gave birth to Noah, who in my eyes is the most perfect and beautiful little boy ever! He weighed a very healthy 9 pounds, which explains why I was so huge towards the end!!!

I’m now 4 weeks post partum and I am only 7 pounds heavier than what I was before I had him, so I haven’t got an awful lot to lose, however, it’s not the weight that I’m unhappy about, but the amount of stretchmarks and the way that my body has altered! I didn’t really have many stretchmarks whilst I was pregnant, but then from about week 35 they just came everywhere! There’s now not a part of me that hasn’t got a stretchmark! I’ve got them on my thighs, behind my knees, all over my belly, my bum and my boobs! People keep telling me they’ll fade, but this doesn’t make me feel any better! I want to cry just thinking about the way I look, I actually disgust myself! I hate the way my once perk boobs are no longer and feel almost empty and drooping, my thighs and bum are now so out of shape it’s unreal, I’ve got like a pouch on my belly and my sides are now fatty, which hides what once was my womanly curves! I’m ashamed to even show my body to my partner, who constantly reassures me that he’s not bothered and that I still look beautiful, but I don’t and can’t believe him for one second! If it wasn’t for my partner being at the hospital whilst a midwife checked my stomach, he still wouldn’t have seen it to this day!

I feel so awful and ashamed of myself for feeling so resentful towards my body, because if it wasn’t for my body and the changes it went through, I wouldn’t have my little boy. But I can’t help but hate the way I look! People keep telling me the stretch marks will fade and nothing that a bit of spinning can’t sort out, but I don’t believe them!

I just wish now when I had my body before – which has now long gone – I had appreciated and loved it more, as to be honest it was pretty good, even if I say so myself!!! But for now I’m learning to accept myself and hopefully once I can accept myself, I can then learn to love myself once more!

I’ve attached a picture of firstly my little boy, before I was pregnant and me at about 34 weeks pregnant! I haven’t attached any of me post-partum as it would mean having to get my partner to take them and I’m not yet ready for him to see me! But hopefully in time I will have the courage to post pictures of my post-partum body!

Updated here and here.

My right to choose (Lucia)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 12 Comments

age 19
1st pregnancy, 15 weeks along

I´m pro-choice, I´ve always been, I think a woman has the right to decide when on whether to become a mother, I think a woman should have some saying over what goes on in her body and her life and that should start with having access to sexual education. My mother is pro-life.

I told her about my pregnancy over the phone, since we are so far apart, I started out by telling her how happy I was, and how my plans went, so she wouldn’t be worried, how my boyfriend feels about it, how loving and supportive he is, that we had plans to get married and have kids in the future and the baby just got ahead our plans, that I´m going to stay in college.

A couple of days later she called me and said something that upset me very much, she sugar coated it as much as she could, telling me that I was too young and that if I “decided not to have it” it would be a good idea too, that when I´m older I can have as many children as I want. In spite of the sugar coat all I heard was “You should murder your baby, your flesh and blood, because it gets in the way of my plans for you, you should kill him because it’s so insignificant, it’s so meaningless it can be replaced later on…”

I cried so hard when we had that conversation that everyone in my house noticed, my grandma came in to comfort me and I told her, I wanted to tell her just like I had told my mom, telling her how happy I was and that everything was going to be fine, but I didn’t get that chance, because I was in tears and her response was telling me that my mother was right. I was physically sick for days after that.

I´ve always thought it’s not right when girls are forced to have babies they do not want because of how the law goes in my country and how many women get injured and even killed getting an illegal abortion under poor conditions because they didn’t have access to anything better, a better education, better ways to take care of themselves, a better life. But I think we hardly consider those teenage girls that are forced to get an abortion or to give up their children because they are underage and it doesn’t matter if they love their babies, and if they are willing to work hard for them, whoever is in charged won´t give them the chance. I´m pro-choice, and I choose to have my baby, I haven’t considered anything else.

pics: 9 weeks, 14 weeks

Updated here.

Worth it – Update (Regina)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Teen Mom, Update 7 Comments

Previous entries here and here.

I have posted here several times now. This website keeps me going. Reminds me that there is nothing wrong with my body. There is something wrong with other’s expectations of me.

I am beautiful. I am strong. I am 21 and I have carried 2 babies 8 days overdue each. I have breastfed. i have fought the internal war when I had to give that up. I can balance a toddler on one hip with a baby in a sling and still go grocery shopping. I am a mother. I am an amazing mother. I don’t do everything right. Most of the time I don’t think I do anything right. But I am.And I do. I have birthed with pain meds. I have birthed naturally.

I will never have the body I had before I had my children. I DON’T WANT IT! It was beautiful, YES. It was flawless and unmarked. It was unappreciated and hated. And weak. Let it die now. I didn’t have a body I wanted. So I was given a new one by motherhood. It is not disgusting or flawed. It is new and full of life. It is strong. It can handle pain and heartache. It can handle a kick to the gut by a 3 year old and it can handle infection upon infection caused by improper breastfeeding.

My new body is bigger. It has more fat and skin. It has bigger breasts and a bigger butt. Thighs that refuse to tone. And stretch marks.

Let me tell you something about stretch marks. There is nothing about my body I love more. I can not explain it. These scars that cause women so much heartache are the greatest joy of my body. They are beautiful. They were given to me when my daughter’s grew within me. Each time adding more than I even thought possible. Like laugh lines that mark happiness and sun “damage” that shows a youth spent at the beach, my stretch marks show that I too have carried and birthed babies. No one has to like them or notice or appreciate them like i do. I never want them to go away.

My story:
I became pregnant with my first daughter when I was 16 years old. I am 5’6″ and I weighed 158 pounds and wore a size 11 in juniors. By 32 weeks, the week I was married to the father, I had gained 15 pounds. By the time I delivered 8 days overdue on January 9, 2006 I had gained 47 pounds, topping out at 205. I lost 20 in delivery. Leaving me at 185 pounds. And then lost NOTHING. During the 2nd year of my daughter’s life I worked my day down to 173 pounds. But then it worked it’s way back up again and when I found out I was pregnant with my second child on January 24, 2008 when I was 19 years old, I weighed 186 pounds and wore a size 15-17 in Juniors. Through out the pregnancy I gained 18 pounds and birthed my daughter 100% natural 8 days overdue on October 5, 2008. I lost the entire 18 pounds in delivery. When my second daughter was 7 months old I left my husband. Suddenly I had so much free time. There were whole days when I didn’t have the girls. I also only had my self and my children to pick up after. So I started to take care of myself again. I started working out every day, sadly I reverted back to my highschool ways and ate only 300 calories a day. But in only a few months I was down to 158 pounds. My PRE-MOTHERHOOD weight!!! I met another man and we started dating. He is a personal trainer and was not very happy about my eating habits or lack there of. So I started eating again. I have gained pretty much all the weight back. I weight 180 pounds right now. But I wear a size 13 in juniors and my body is not too bad looking. I know that I just don’t have the will power to bring my weight down the healthy way. Which is the only way to keep it down. So I might as well make the best with what I do have. So my goal is to have a sexy, voluptuous, curvy body. Instead of shooting for skinny. Which seems so unattainable to me, i just want the body I have to look the best it can.

*Picture 1: 9 months pregnant with #1
*Picture 2: 24 months post partum from #1
*Picture 3: 9 months pregnant with #2
*picture 4: 10 months post partum #2 158 pounds
*picture 5: 14 months post partum #2 180 pounds
*picture 6 & 7: The most beautiful gift ever received

~Age: 21 years old
~Number of pregnancies and births: 4 pregnancies, 2 births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 4 years and 14 months

Belly still swollen 4 and a half months postpartum (Jill)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 25 Comments

Age 34

Hi. My name is Jill and I am so glad I found this website. I gave birth July 24th to a 9 lb. 22 inch healthy baby boy via c-section. It was so hard that I am totally afraid to have another. I probably wont because of my age and because Im terrified to go through it again. Don’t get me wrong, I love my child and would never give him up… infact, I am slowly forgetting the pain. I am and has always been an exercise freak. I exercise about 5 times a week both cardio and weightlifting. As you can see in my pics though, my belly looks just the same as it did when I was about 5 months Prego. I did learn through this site about the problem that occurs when your stomach muscles separate and your belly pushes through. I really think I have this because I have lost all but 4 pounds of my weight but my belly is still like this… Yuck I hate it and am so self conscious over my body. I used to surf a lot and wear bathing suits at the beach but since then, I use a romper over my suit and never go in the water if there are more than 2 people at the beach, which includes myself and my baby! Has anyone gone through what I am and slowly lost their stomach? Will mine ever go flat? I have very minimal stretch marks considering how large my belly got. Please someone help…. I consider myself depressed…..

Long Journey (Sarah)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 5 Comments

Age: 25
# of pregnancies:1
#of births:1
6 mo. PP.

I had my son 6 months ago after gaining an astonishing 65 lbs while pregnant with him. I’ve struggled all of my life to keep weight off, and stay “attractive” so I was blown away at how hormones and the miracle of pregnancy can really change your view on things! I probably took things a little far, eating cake every night in jubilation at my newfound guilt-free eating…but it’s worked out okay.

I had a 46 hour labor, and finally got an epidural 45 minutes before he was ready to be born…I had an uncomplicated delivery…and was surprised when I came home to find that after giving birth to a 7lb 6oz baby that I only weighed 4 lbs less than I did at check in! (which was 182). I stayed at this weight for a good 2 weeks because I couldn’t lose the water weight from the epidural…I visited the Dr a couple of times to make sure there were no complications…but it was just my body’s way of dealing with the medication…to give me horrible edema that took another 6 weeks at LEAST to completely subside.

Now I’m at a solid 138, 6 months later. I didn’t push myself, I just walk around a lot and avoid cake ;) I’m kind of glad that it’s been a slow weight loss because the only stretch marks I have are right above where I got my bellybutton pierced…not bad at all. I also started doing meditation yoga in the mornings for 20 minutes which will tone those flabby arms RIGHT up! Anyway, the first pic is 19 weeks pregnant (I didn’t show for AWHILE!), the pregnant ones are one week before I gave birth, and the lingerie and bathroom picture are from yesterday. Women’s bodies are AMAZING!!!!!!!!! Go team!!!!!

I did it! 9 Months PP Minus 60 Pounds! (Elissa)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 16 Comments

Anonymous
Age of pregnancy: 22
Age now: 24

Previous entry here.

I just posted at 8 Months PP I had 5 pounds to go. Well, I made my goal 9 months pp! For all you ladies with those annoying women in your life that tell you what you need to do to lose your weight and constantly tell you how you should do it…Don’t listen…Do what works for you. I had a friend who gained about 42 pounds and lost it all within 5 months. She was a size 3 when she was 6 months PP and I was watching her try on clothes in a wheelchair at 36 weeks pregnant. LOTS OF FUN FOR ME! At 4 months PP she tried to get me to go on walks and do P90X with her. I had a C-Section and I still didn’t feel like my body was ready. P90X works but it killed my recovering body and after 15 minutes of doing it I wouldn’t do it again. I was so sore! My friend informed me that if I wanted to lose my weight I needed to eat fat burning foods…My friend didn’t breastfeed and I did…I started trying what she told me to do because I was in a rut…Well, I kept getting migraines and was getting really sick. I had to go to the doctor and they told me not to starve myself and eat lots of protien and enough carbs…DON’T LISTEN TO those know it all friends, they don’t help and take you off of what was working for you. Our bodies are all completely different and we will lose weight at the pace our body wants to lose it. My body isn’t what it once was, and my butt doesn’t seem to want to perk up for me…But I love it. I am finding that I grow to love my pooch on my tummy more and more because that’s where my daughter lived for 9 months. If anyone needs any pointers I will be glad to help with advice on what worked for me. I LOVE my food and eating right wasn’t even a challenge for me because I still ate yummy food, just ate the right amounts and watched my calorie intake. I also splurged on strawberry frozen yogurt. Good luck ladies, I know how it feels when you’re first starting out with the new baby and new body. It took me 9 months!

Updated here.

Not What I Expected! (Roo)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 13 Comments

Age: 22
Number of Preg. and Births: 1
4 months postpartum

I’m going to try and make this as short as possible. I became pregnant in November of 08. Whoo was I surprised!!! I was so scared and happy at the same time. I had a very hard pregnancy, not because of health…but because my boyfriend was not happy. It still upsets me that I wasn’t able to share my happiness and excitement with him, talk about our future son, shop for baby things etc. We stayed together…which is still unbelievable to me. I didn’t know until the day I had our son if he was going to be around or not. I’m still not sure what made him decide to stick around, but I’m glad he did. He loves our little boy more than anything : ) Anyway, before I had our little boy I modeled. Most of what I modeled was swimsuits for Tease Um bikini. I thought my pre-pregnancy body would snap right back. Boy was I wrong! I have some stretch marks and loose skin. I feel so gross. I’m not really dealing with this very well. I don’t think my bf finds me very attractive anymore. I don’t know, I guess I’ll get used to it. All I know is that my baby was and is worth every imperfection I have now.

Update – 18months PP 38 weeks pregnant (Berni)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 5 Comments

Age – 20

I originally posted around 3 months after the birth of my son, and again when I was 6 and a half month postpartum. Around the time of my last post I’m ashamed to admit I became very depressed about my body and started to make myself sick, thankfully I realised how stupid I was being and only did it a few times. Slowly I came to accept my body although I still had some very down days. I especially hated the wrinkles on my stomach, the weird belly button and although faint the millions of stretch marks. I also seem to have a massive gap between my stomach muscles.

At 10 months post partum I weighed around 128lbs at just under 5’8 (around 7lb less then my pre-pregnancy weight).I remember thinking I was still fat but I look back now and I can see now that I was very slim. I then discovered that I was pregnant again. I am now 38 weeks pregnant (EDD 12/12/09) with a baby girl we think we will call Lilac. I have gained 35lb so far which is a fair deal less than last time. I’m planning a water HBAC .

I really hope I can come to accept my body as it is now I’m having a daughter as I’d hate to pass on any body image issues to her.

The first pic is 10 months PP
The second pic is also 10 month PP
The third pic is 10 months PP
The fourth pic 33 weeks pregnant with number 2
The fifth pic is now (38 weeks pregnant with number 2)
The sixth pic is me and my son (18 months)

Updated here.