Pregnant

Only my partner could love this… before, during and after. (Terri)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 15 Comments

20 years of age
1 pregnancy, 1 birth to a beautiful baby girl
Baby’s aged 7 weeks.

Whilst I was pregnant I always thought that after the baby was born I could just do a couple of sit ups and i’d get my body back the way it was before. I was applying baby oil religiously every night for the whole of my pregnancy in ingnorance of hoping that
it would prevent stretch marks and I regularly went out for walks to help prevent the belly. Oh how ignorance was bliss! I didn’t get stretch marks on my stomach so I was fooled into thinking i’d be one of the lucky ones. Nope! A couple of days after my baby
was born I got them all over my stomach, all over my boobs and on my thighs. I didn’t even dare look at my bum and look at the dreaded cellulite! Now I find that as much as I love my little bundle of joy I absolutley hate my new body. My confidence now has
a huge dent in it and no matter what my partner says about my body (all of it positive) I still can’t see what he sees. All I see is the rolls of fat when I bend over to my now saggy chest. I’m no longer the confident woman I once was. I get annoyed at everyone
telling me I should be proud because it carried my baby because I was fooled into thinking I should look like all of those celebs that lose it no matter what. I am proud! But I just want to be me again not mum! Even though I am very proud to be a mum.
And also although I am back in my size 8 clothes I can’t help but notice that I now have a bit of skin hanging over my jeans :( And I also would LOVE to have another baby but this has made me scared about what would happen to my body after I have that one.

Afraid of Second Pregnancy (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 11 Comments

First: I am very grateful for this site, it has helped me so much to accept my body.
Second: I’m not a native English speaker, I’m trying my best but don’t be surprised if you find some mistakes. :-)

Age: 25
Pregnancies: 2
Births: 1
18 months pp, 7 weeks pregnant

I was 22 when I found out I was pregnant. It wasn’t planned but I knew from the very first moment that I would keep the baby and my boyfriend also accepted the thought of becoming a dad. My pregnancy was relatively easy, some morning sickness, some back pain, but nothing serious. I liked my growing bump and my body until I found out that my boyfriend watched porn. I mean I knew that he had done this before but during my pregnancy it had gotten crazy, I couldn’t leave the room without him switching on the computer and starting his little films. I asked him to stop it but he didn’t. He refused to have sex with me, kept watching porn instead and it shattered my self esteem. I started hating being so big. Then at 35 weeks I discovered the first stretch marks on my belly. Somehow I always thought I wouldn’t get them because my mother didn’t get one with two pregnancies. I hated my body and cried a lot and I was so relieved when my water broke at 38 weeks. I had to be induced and labor was hell, after 15 hrs my son was finally born with 3000g (6.61 lbs) and 49cm (19.29 inches). The next day I saw that the underside of my belly was covered in purple stretch marks. I was disgusted, I had never seen a woman with stretch marks before.

Losing the weight (I had gone up from 57kg (125 lbs) to 73kg (161 lbs)) was no problem thanks to breastfeeding and also I started working out again 2 months after I had given birth. But I still hated my saggy boobs (I got shrinking stripes on them when I stopped breastfeeding after 10 months. SHRINKING stripes!), the extra skin on my belly and, most of all, my stretch marks. Nobody in my family has them, neither do my friends, they were all like “Didn’t you use moisturizer?”. Of course I did, several times a day. My boyfriend said things like “They will go away, right? You will go back to normal, right?” Um, no. They just recently faded, they were purple for months. Hating my body, dealing with my bf’s ongoing addiction to porn, having a baby that cried endlessly – I hated my life. I think I might have developed a depression, but I never went to the doctor to have it confirmed or treated.

Those dark months eventually passed, my boyfriend finally understood that he was seriously hurting me (I had started to cut myself, something I hadn’t done since my teenage years), my son stopped crying all day and all night long and I felt better overall.

Although I am still the only person I know that has developed stretch marks during pregnancy, I finally came to terms with my body. It could have been worse. They are not all over my belly. I still don’t like to see myself in the mirror and I’m not sure if I will wear a bikini this summer (or ever again), but at least I don’t cry over my body constantly anymore (only on bad days).

And now I’m pregnant again. It was planned this time and I am currently 7 weeks along. I am terribly afraid of getting more stretch marks, since I already know that my genetics suck when it comes to this. I hope I can avoid them by limiting my weight gain to 20 lbs and working out a lot. I am currently 53kg (117 lbs) at 167cm (5.48 ft). I go to the gym 3-4 times a week and hope I can keep this routine up as long as possible. In my first pregnancy I stopped working out when I was 7 months along because I had 2 jobs and went to the university and just didn’t find the time to go to the gym regularly. Hopefully I’ll be more disciplined this time!

Pictures:
I don’t have any prepregnancy pictures of my belly because I never really liked my body.
#1: 36 weeks pregnant. First stretch marks visible.
#2 and #3: me now, 18 months pp and 7 weeks pregnant

Updated here.

Coming to terms with the new me! (Krystal)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions 2 Comments

Tomorrow is the 36th week of my pregnancy. It seems like overnight my body has changed – some changes are beautiful others are a little harder to accept. I’ve waited 29 years to have a baby. In fact, I never thought I would get the chance to be pregnant or carry a baby but somehow, here I am! :) In just four weeks my dreams will come true – I’ll be a mother of a beautiful baby girl – so why do I find myself scrutinizing my body in the mirror looking at every new stretch mark and every pound gained? I tell myself that it is ridiculous that I am so consumed with changes that are NATURAL and part of being a mother. I try to remind myself that the ridiculous image of women portrayed by the media is warped and wrong and that I should be proud of this body that is nourishing and protecting my daughter and giving her life. Still, it’s hard. So, here I am writing this post so that I can force myself to be proud of the New Me. I am no longer the Krystal who never felt her daughter roll around and jump in her belly or whose breasts grew so that she could feed her little girl. I am a mother now and that is something incredibly wonderful and something that I should be proud of. My stretch marks and new body are my proof that I am this new person and I am going to wear them with pride. I’m not going to let the world dictate to me that I should look 18 years old forever. I am going to do this so that I can break the cycle of “achieving perfection” with my own daughter. I’m going to look at these changes every day and remember that I am a very blessed woman who should appreciate that she given an opportunity that some women don’t get to share. I am going to be thankful and most importantly, I am going to be proud!!

***The pictures show my pre-pregnancy body. I was working out a lot to try to get in shape which explains the crazy pose and really low pants! lol Then there is a close-up of the stretch marks on the right/left/ front of my belly and my breasts which have grown almost 3 cup sizes!***

~Age: 29
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1st pregnancy with my daughter Carmen
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: No children until July 16, 2012!

Motherly Beauty (Rachel)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 2 Comments

21
1 daughter (18m) and trying for another

I am a 21 year old mother of an 18 month old baby girl. I came upon this site while searching what to expect of your body after having a second child, as my husband and I are trying for our second.

Before becoming pregnant I had what most would call the perfect body. I am 5’8″ weighed 145 lbs…solid muscle. I never knew what love handles were. I could pull anything off. My boobs were amazing. Better than what most women pay to have done. I wore a size 5 and a 34b. Beautiful hourglass shape…I was in love with my body and proud of it as I put a ton of work into it. (picture below)

I continued to wear a size 5 through out my pregnancy. I experienced a ton of sickness. I could not even brush my teeth without vomiting. The smell of food sent me running for the bathroom… My first 3 months I lost 15 pounds. I looked like a stick person… My size 5 jeans were baggy on me… I was miserable…(picture also included) The picture of me with the 12 gauge was at 5 1/2 months, closer to six. Those jeans fit perfectly prior to the pregnancy… I had a small bump barely visible then… I did not start to show until 8 months…its like I woke up one morning and BAM! I routinely used Palmer’s and bio oil through the entire pregnancy but around 8 1/2m I developed them on my sides and one down the middle of my stomach…the same time my belly developed so did my breasts. I went from a 34b to 38D almost overnight, leaving me with horrible stretch marks around the entire perimeter of both of my breasts. I was all baby. After having my daughter who was 7lbs 13oz and 21 1/2 in, my body looked like it did before having her (2hrs later lol) then the water weight and the swelling set in. I wrapped my stomach with a corset type garment for the first 5 months after.. I had the infamous pouch on the front and love handles…which I hate! I have such a long torso that the love handles make me mis-shaped…its like they set in right above my hip bones just on the sides and not all the way around… crazy… Well anyways going from my pre-baby body to this mishapped mess really took its toll on me… I had a hard time adjusting to my curvy body and saggy boobs but my husband has helped me a lot… According to him I made him sick before having the baby because I was too skinny and a woman is supposed to have curves and meat on her bones… I agree with that now… I have come to love who I am. My mother tells me that I finally look like a healthy woman. And I feel that way now… I do still run nightly (2 miles) and toning…abs and push ups to maintain myself. Now that we are trying for our second child I am going to continue running through the pregnancy, as I was afraid that if I did the first time around I might lose the baby. I hope that my stories and picture give you new and expecting mothers hope… I didn’t know of resources like this for my first child.

Black swim suit is 17m after baby
rebel swim suit is 1m after baby
gun pic and red shirt are 5 1/2m prego
scrubs is before baby
black and white is 8 1/2m prego

Learning to work at my body and love how I got here. Wanting to give hope to other mommies out there. (Kelly)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 3 Comments

I am a 31 year old mother of 2 little girls ages 5 and 2. Before I had my first daughter I weighed about 135lbs and I am 5’9″, I was athletic and in great shape…..with my first daughter at the time I thought I looked horrible and worked very hard to get back to my pre baby weight. When I delivered her I was 212 lbs I did it in about 9 months and was pretty close to looking like I never had a baby :) When we decided to have our second daughter, I had been through a lot emotionally and was about 145lbs, still healthy for someone my height (I have a small slender frame even though I am tall, I wore a size 2 my senior year of high school) my second pregnancy I had gestational diabetes and was so lethargic and tired all the time from it that I was not able this time to work out during my pregnancy……the day I delivered her I weighed in at 245 lbs! I had a 3 1/2 finger ab separation and had undergone a c section…..I have been doing light workouts from the time the doc gave the ok, focusing on training my core muscles back together, until about a year post partum…..I upped my workouts a little more but since I still had about a 2 finger ab separation I was limited to certain workouts otherwise I may have done forever damage to my abdominal wall. About 6 months ago I increased my workouts to 6 days a week which included about 30 minutes cardio and an hour of various weight training…..I am currently about 170lbs and hoping to lose another 25lbs in the next 6 months…..my main concern is the wrinkled skin and extra fat on my abdomen which with the help of Argan oil treatments and tons of ab workouts seems to be diminishing little by little everyday and I also have 0 ab separation at this time and my core is stronger than ever (so for those of you out there with the same problem, I am living proof that an ab separation does NOT always mean surgery) I have attached a pic of my tummy from about a month ago, I don’t have and did not take pics of before 6 months ago because I was sad and ashamed so I don’t have a comparison for the look of it now but trust when I say it looked like a deflated balloon and hung a little over my panties…….I will try to update on my progress if I can over the next few months but I do believe with hard work and discipline I will look again like I did before my babies came along……:) Oh and I have completely changed my diet, I am not on a diet, but I eat very healthy and drink tons of water…..without this I don’t think that I would have made the progress I have made so far…..I have read about other mothers who have stuck to the old fashioned patience and working out and they have had the success I am looking for, so keep plugging along and love yourself for the beautiful miricle you have brought into this world……

Bun in the Oven (Jeannie Roshar)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Humor, Pregnant, Submissions 11 Comments

When I was pregnant, I felt like men stopped looking at me as a woman. They even talked to me differently. Sometimes, they would talk to me like I was something “dear” that needed protection. That didn’t bother me so much, I mean, it’s sweet and of course we should protect and honor all of our mothers-to-be. But, what really bothered me was men would seem physically uncomfortable around me. Some even seemed grossed out! This made me really irritated, I mean, where do they think they came from? Well, since I’m a comedienne, I had to do something about it. So I got 4 other pregnant women and we made a raunchy rap video to stick it to them! Not safe for work and raunchy, so don’t watch it around kids, but I hope you enjoy!

~It may look airbrushed, but it’s not. We had good lighting! Makes all the difference!!!
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1st pregnancy/birth for three of us, 2nd for one and 4th for one!

32 weeks pregnant and stretchies have started… (Toni)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 2 Comments

Age – 24
Currently 32 weeks pregnant with #1

When I first discovered I was pregnant I became increasingly curious about predicting what my body would be like during and after pregnancy, and so I started to stalk this site. Although I wasn’t overweight when I fell pregnant, I have always been very self-conscious in my body as I was overweight during early high school and had stretch marks from puberty. I stocked up on Bio Oil and Cocoa butter, but knowing my mum and sister didn’t get any during their pregnancies, I was hoping genetics would save me.

I am so embarrassed to say that I was/am petrified of stretch marks and constantly worried that I am never going to feel confident or sexy again. I know that the little human growing inside of me is worth every mark, but it’s so hard to see the bigger picture. I have been with my Boyfriend for 7 years, and I love him so much. I know that he will still love me post-pregnancy, but I am scared that he won’t be attracted to me any more. My stretchies have only just begun and I know they will get bigger and bring friends :D over the next 8 weeks. I just hope that I can ‘get over it’ and enjoy the rest of my pregnancy.

Pictures of me now at 32 weeks from both sides and a picture of me at 10weeks pregnant.

Toni xox

Updated here.

Can’t accept the huge change to my body. (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 18 Comments

I’m 21 years old and my beautiful son is 8 months old. He’s my first. Before I got pregnant I weighed 118-120 lbs. and now I weigh 140 lbs. When I was pregnant the last time i weighed myself was about a week before I gave birth and I was 154 lbs. and about a week after my son was born I got down to 132. I thought wow this is great i’ll be back to my pre-pregnancy weight in no time! But I had to stop breast feeding at about 3 months because I wasn’t producing enough for my little toad! Now i’m back up to 140 or more I guess i’ve been too afraid to weigh myself the past month or so. I went from a small C to a DD while I was breast feeding and now i’m back down to a small C and my breasts are covered in stretch marks and so saggy I feel like an old woman at 21. My stomach doesn’t have bad stretch marks just some under my belly button but i’m still very self conscious about them and I think I look like i’m still pregnant. I hate wearing anything but hanes t-shirts because I feel like someone’s going to ask me when i’m due. I have family that makes fun of my stomach which I know they don’t mean it to be mean but it kills me inside everytime anyone says anything. My husband loves me more than anything and doesn’t care what I look like and I know that but he hasn’t told me i’m beautiful since I was first pregnant which makes me feel so much worse. Today was the first day i’ve let him see me completely naked since I was breast feeding. He told me “You don’t look that bad.” I know he didn’t mean it the way it sounds but my heart dropped to the ground when he said that. I’ve tried excercising but I have something wrong with my hips and if I do anything physical I can barely walk the next day because i’m in so much pain. This started when I was in my second trimester and I would literally have to crawl to the bathroom in the middle of the night to pee because I was in so much pain. The doctor told me it was just my hips moving to prepare for child birth but its been 8 months since my son was born and the pain is still there so I don’t know what to do. It seems like everytime I go to the doctor for anything they look at me and see that yes i’m skinny besides my stomach and i’m young so whatever pain i’m feeling is nothing serious. Well I think if I can barely walk because of dibilitating hip pain something is wrong regardless of my age and physique!! But anyway that’s not why i’m posting on here. I just want to know that i’m not alone and that someone else is going through what I am because I see girls the same age as me or even older looking like they’ve never had kids walking around in bikinis with no stretch marks and beautiful bodies and I feel like a fat freak. And yes I know people are a lot worse off than me but i’m not used to this feeling I have always loved my body and felt very lucky because I come from a family that has a lot of over weight people and i’ve always been so thankful to be able to look like I do but now that I look like this I just feel horrible and feel like everyone is comparing me to how I used to look and thinking i’m fat. I also feel like my husband isn’t attracted to me anymore even though he says he is. Well i’ll stop babbling now and I look forward to your comments! <3 1st picture- my husband and I at our first prom together 2nd picture- 4 weeks pregnant 3rd picture- 31 weeks pregnant 4th-7th picture- me today 8 months postpartum [gallery]

Building self-esteem after husband’s affairs (Joelle)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Butt, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Toxemia, Vulva/Vaginal Damage 20 Comments

Age: 23
Number of Pregnancies and Births: 2 pregnancies, 1 birth, 1 baby in heaven
Age of child and how far post-partum: Isabella 6 months and four days old. I am 6 months and four days post- partum

I found this site from a woman who posted this site on the Birth Without Fear facebook page. I thought how wonderful it was to see other women of all ages post up their pictures of post-partum bodies and share their story on how they felt, whether feeling upset or comfortable in their own skin. Pregnancy has done a lot to our bodies, including mine. I miscarried with my first pregnancy at the age of 18 at 8 weeks along. It took me a while to accept the miscarriage and move forward. After my second pregnancy, if you saw me walking in a tank top and jeans, you’d never guessed I gave birth. I’ve been blessed to lose all the weight; I gained 36 pounds and lost the majority of it when my daughter was born. She weighed 9.7 pounds and 21 inches long. I am only 5’1 and was 95 pounds pre-pregnancy. With her being so big, my belly was stretched to its limit and my body bloated really badly: in my face, my thighs, butt, and legs. By week nine in pregnancy, I could no longer wear my jeans. I automatically knew I was having a girl by week nine since all my friends who had boys could wear their jeans throughout their entire pregnancy and it was my instincts saying “girl.” Not going to lie, that devastated me to not fit in my jeans, so I stuck to dresses and skirts since I had room to stretch those out (did not want to see me go up in pants and it was cheaper). At my 21 week scan, the technician asked me if the midwife got my due date right since my baby was measuring almost 2 weeks ahead of her age and I said yeah, that I even tracked my fertility and ovulation for TTC. Turned out she was just a good size baby because she came four days after her due date, no interventions.

My body went through hell and back with my pregnancy and child birth. I had fallen on my tailbone. I went to the ER over that to make sure my daughter was fine, could care less about my body. My daughter was just fine. The fall caused me to have major back pain for the rest of the pregnancy and especially when she would kick my back or body slammed against it. I had a huge cyst right below my urethra, so sex was impossible as it hurt too much. The doctors refused to remove the cyst for me and it did not even burst while birthing her. I had sciatic nerve problems and bruised like feeling on my skin and muscles all up my ribs from her pushing out my ribs to make room in the last trimester. I started getting stretch marks in early 2nd trimester and by my due date, my butt and thighs looked as if a cat used me as a clawing post. I got a 2nd degree tear during child birth from being told to push with all my might since my daughter’s left shoulder got stuck. Two nurses were doing pelvic pressure on me along with my husband, very crazy experience so I tore horribly from all the hard pushing to get her out. The midwife who delivered my baby at the Naval Hospital (military hospital) stitched me back up but I have some insides kind of on the outside and my vagina just looks bad… Though I loved being able to have her naturally, I’m upset with how my vagina turned out. I asked my husband’s honest opinion on it, he said I’m little bit looser (I’m okay with that) and that it’s even prettier to him. Kind of hard to believe but I try to trust him on that. However, he cheated on me a month after I birthed my daughter and once while I was pregnant, so it’s very hard to trust him on his compliments to me. The only reason I stayed is because he went to rehab over his alcoholism (he cheated while wasted, still not a good excuse) and I want our family to be together. My self- esteem is shot to hell because he cheated on me with an overweight woman with large breasts. I’m opposite; I’m petite with A cup size breasts… I know I’m not ugly, I get other Marines (my husband is a Marine) staring and calling out to me even while I’m carrying my daughter. I just can’t help but feel my body is not good enough for my husband, that I’m not enough.

We’re in marriage counseling, we’ve been working on the marriage. I just can’t help but feel my pregnant body and PP body is not satisfying to him. I’m so terrified to get pregnant again after his affairs. Being able to share this to strangers kind of makes me feel better. Maybe some other women have been in a similar position or not… Just feels good to get it off my chest that I don’t feel good enough for the man I married.

7 Months PP & HATING Myself! (Sarah)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, PPD - Postpartum Depression, Pregnant, Submissions, Toxemia 12 Comments

Age: 21
7 months PP
1 pregnancy

Pre-pregnancy weight: 150
Current weight: About 190

Let me start off by saying that I’ve never liked my body! Before I got pregnant I weighed 150 lbs. About a year before I was pregnant I weighed around 180 and after working as housekeeping I lost 30 lbs. When I found out I was pregnant I was scared for my body! My family has a curse, I swear!, and once us women get pregnant we seem to grow larger and larger by the years. During my pregnancy I got A LOT of stretch marks, which are still bad today. I look like I was attacked by a bear! Anyway, a little over a month before my due date I found out my blood pressure was going up. I ended up going into labor 3 weeks before my due date. The problem was preeclampsia It made since the more I got about it! I gained 10 lbs in 1 week! I remember almost crying when the doctor told me that! I stayed within the 25 lb limit during my pregnancy up until that point. Well, I ended up gaining 60 lbs when I went into labor. After the preeclampsia was gone I did lose 20 lbs the first month my daughter was born because I was so busy and tired that I had no urge to eat. Once I got use to the no sleeping I got my appetite back – which was the worst thing that could have happened!

My husband works nights and he works 7 nights straight, so it’s just me and the baby most of the time. I’m a stay at home mom so it’s very lonely! So lonely that I got bad PP depression, which made me eat away my feelings. At that point I realized how much I did not like myself! I was disgusted at looking in the mirror or putting on clothes! 4 months PP and my depression seemed to go down a lot and I stopped eating when I was bored and lonely. I lost 5 lbs Not a huge deal but it showed I was making progress! Now here I am 7 months PP and I don’t know if my depression has came back but I noticed I eat when I’m bored again! I can not break this cycle! I am soon getting my CNA and I am so excited because I know it will help me get my butt back into shape!

I wouldn’t be so hateful towards myself but I’d had several friends who have babies and they barely gained any baby weight and they lost it within 3 months. I also feel like I’ve let my husband down by not controlling myself and getting so big. Summer’s here and all I want to do is take my little girl swimming for the first time, but I’m terrified of what I’m going to wear and I’m going to be paranoid that people are staring at me. I have to find clothing that covers my stretch marks on my stomach and thighs, which is hard!

I want to learn to love myself. I hate being naked and I hate when my husband sees me naked! I’m in constant fear of my husband leaving me for a better looking women, who is real thin and has no stretch marks, that it stupidly makes me eat even more. He calls me sexy and beautiful everyday but I shrug it off. I don’t believe him. Does anyone else have this problem? How can I ignore all these thoughts in my head? I want to actually feel beautiful. I feel like I went through an amazing journey being pregnant and giving birth that I should have something to show for it besides a huge pouch!

The 3 belly photos are from now. Pregnant belly is of course during pregnancy lol & the one with the pink shirt is my pre-pregnancy weight.