Postpartum

Learning to Love (Jill)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 7 Comments

It makes me angry how much pressure society puts on women to look perfect at all times, even after bearing a baby. Instead of being proud of growing a life we turn to hate and fail to see the immense beauty that has taken place. Our bodies brought new life into this world and that is amazing!

After having my first son, I hated my body. I was disgusted with myself. I thought it pointless to even try and do anything about it. Pregnant with my second son, I learned to appreciate my body and take care of it. I was carrying my child, my body was doing an extraordinary thing. I’m not quite 3 months post partum from my second son, still over my pre-pregnancy weight, still covered in stretchmarks and sagging skin and I don’t think my body will ever be the same again but I don’t think I’ve ever loved myself more.

25 years
3 pregnancies, 2 births
Sons aged 2 years 9 months and 2 months 2 weeks

Does Your Boob Hang Low? (Amanda)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 8 Comments

I had my beautiful baby boy in October 2010, ventouse delivery on his due date! I became absolutely massive as my pregnancy progressed with swelling in every part of my body. I think I was 52 inches around the waist the last time I measured my stomach when pregnant. I gained around 30 kg’s with my pregnancy and my little boy was an ounce short of 9 lb’s.

He has been breastfed since birth and is now 18 months old and still an avid nursling (which I love!) with no signs of readiness to stop any time soon. I know that my boobs are wonky from pregnancy (although I didn’t realise how badly until this picture was taken) and that I’m still quite large around the middle with the saggy skin and stretch marks to boot.

We live with my parents who constantly tell me how fat I am (I was a skinny teen) which brings me down a heck of a lot. We are not financially stable enough for me to afford gym and with an 18 month old toddler running around you’d think I would lose weight a lot quicker! But being very close to my pre-pregnancy size, seeing this site and discovering how normal I am will give me the strength to ignore the nasty comments about my weight. I KNOW I’m not fat but it still tears me up a little to hear my own parents telling me what an elephant I am and comparing me to other people post pregnancy. I also have a merina iud fitted that makes it hard to lose weight but thanks to breastfeeding I’m not gaining weight either.

We have all done such a beautiful thing with our bodies that we should consider the after effects as battle scars from going through such intense and traumatic changes. And just as the battle scars of soldiers, we should wear them proudly and without fear.

Well done ladies, you’ve all made me feel so much better.
Xxx

24, 1 pregnancy, 1 child Sebastian 18 months old

18, Overweight, and Pregnant (Trish)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Plus-Sized Mom, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom 6 Comments

I have always been over weight for as long as i can remember, at 18 i met my fiance and he was 33! he was so fun and it was risky and fun to be with an older guy and i knew my family would hate it. but 4months in i found out i was pregnant, i freaked out how could i be? i was on the pill! but i was. he was so understanding and actually excited! well my family dis-owned me and his dis-owned him, we carried on our relationship, i moved in with him & in Nov. along came our son! he was amazing and 6months later i am finally ok with my body because my son loves me no matter what and so does my fiance and thats all that matters so i started to love myself to, i am working on losing some weight, to be healthy not to look any better! :)

the photo in the tshirt i am 38 weeks pregnant. the others are 6months PP.

Unlovely: Round Three (Mir)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Child Loss, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Update 2 Comments

Previous post here.

Age: 29
Pregnancies: 3
Births: 2
Children: 4-years-old & 1-year-old

I last posted here in August 2009. A lot has happened–that’s how it tends to go in life. I lost a lot of weight but the saggy/baggy tummy I had never went away no matter how more fit and thin I got. In the spring of 2010, I suffered a miscarriage. It was awful. For some reason, my sense of self–especially my body concept was really affected by that miscarriage. My husband and my relationship was not going well and I was so desperate for someone to tell me that I was beautiful that I got into some things I soon regretted. Thankfully, there is forgiveness and we’ve moved on from that time. But, it still was and is painful. I got pregnant again in the summer of 2010 and my daughter was born in the spring of 2011. It was a much easier pregnancy and birth with a lot less post-partum depression. But, here I am with the same darn saggy/baggy tummy. It doesn’t shatter my world as much as it once did but I really am seriously considering a tummy tuck and breast lift after I’m done breastfeeding my daughter. My husband really wants to have more children but I don’t want to wait to get my body back. So, I am not sure what’s going to happen with that. Lately, I’ve just been feeling so sad about the state of my belly. I’ve been in pilates 3 times a week for the past 6 months and have gotten a lot stronger and healthier but still my stomach shows no difference. Just makes me feel like crying. Sometimes I just feel really unlovely and unlovable. I’m only 29 but my body looks so terrible. I guess I’m just afraid to inherit my mother’s body. She always hated her saggy/baggy tummy–she had a lot more extra weight than I have, though. I don’t want to be old before my time and that’s exactly what my tummy looks like to me.

This is Me (Leanne)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Legs, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 9 Comments

23 years old, 1 pregnancy 1 birth, daughter aged 4

I fell pregnant a month after my 18th birthday. It wasn’t planned and came as a total shock, but once the initial shock was over, I was happy. I prepared myself mentally for everything that was to come; except the changes to my body. I developed stretch marks at around 22 weeks. I remember seeing one in the mirror for the first time and thinking ‘Oh no, I’m going to have that scar for life!’ but I wasn’t prepared for the dozens upon dozens of stretch marks to follow. By the time my beautiful girl was born, I was covered. I was so happy and thrilled to be a mother that at first I put them to the back of my mind, but as she got older and time went on the more I focused back on myself. I hated my body. I was over-weight, covered in scars, my breasts had dropped after breast feeding and I felt like an old woman. But I didn’t give in to my negative thoughts. By the time my little girl was one years old, I’d joined a diet club and was exercising more and began to slowly lose my baby weight; that’s when the turning point came. As my friends and family complimented me on how much weight I’d lost and how healthy I was looking, it spurned me on. I didn’t go over the top, but just kept to what I was doing and still enjoyed precious time with my daughter. I accepted that I could lose weight if I tried but would never lose the scars. Once I accepted it I started to love my body again. I’m now 23 with my confidence back. My scars tell a story of the most important journey of my life and make me who I am. For the first time since I had my daughter, I wore a bikini on holiday last year. Yes, I don’t have the beach perfect body, but I’m a young woman, who wants to wear a bikini and why should I let worries of what other people may think stop me? As a woman, the greatest thing you can do is bring life into this world, why be ashamed of the signs that have proven you did just that!

Learning to Move On (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Teen Mom 4 Comments

Age 22
2 children – 4 year old and a 6 month old.

I came across this site by accident. It came at the right time as the night before I’d opened up to my partner for the first time about my hatred for the way I look. I’ll start from the beginning of my story.

My first son came as a surprise to me. I was almost 5 months pregnant when I found out I was expecting. At 17 I had not planned on having a baby! As soon as I found out I was over joyed and scared. My partner at the time was not a very nice man, we broke up several times and finally finished for good not long after I had my son. My fear of my body stems from him I believe, he would scream at me that I was discussing and nobody would want me. If anybody else had said that to me I don’t think it would have been so painful, but I had carried his baby in my body and I honestly did not care about my stretch marks or sagging skin, my son was beautiful. However as time went on his constant belittling of the way I looked started to take its toll. I found my self alone with no friends that understood what it was like to be 17 and have the body I did. I watched as they all went on with their lives with their young beautiful bodies while I sat around feeling sorry for my self. For a very long time I didn’t think I was worthy of anybody to love me.

When my son was 2 I met my current partner. He is the most wonderful man and I love him more than I can express. He loves my son as his own and I could not ask for anything more. When we had our second son I feared that his feeling would change towards my son but they didn’t he loves him just as he always did. My own insecurities resurfaced after giving birth again however. He showers me with compliments and I know that he really does love me as I am, stretch marks and sagging skin included!! I just don’t. I push him away constantly, I can’t understand how somebody can look at me and think I look nice! Recently we have talked properly about things and I have realised that it doesnt matter, he loves my body, why shouldn’t I?

It doesn’t help with all the pictures of the celebs with their fantastic figures after and hour of giving birth! This is why this site is so amazing, it has helped me realise that we really are beautiful. We should be proud that our bodies carried our whole worlds for 9 months and be grateful we where so lucky to be able to. I’ve come to realise that it doesn’t matter what I look like, I am lucky. It’s not fair to those who haven’t been unable to conceive or to my children to care how I look. They are a blessing. I am slowly dealing with my issues and I hope that everybody out there can do to!

Your all beautiful ladies – be happy!! X

Loving My Mommy Body (Raven)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, PPD - Postpartum Depression, Submissions 5 Comments

My name is Raven, I am 20 years old and I have one son that is now 18 months old. I had him via cesarean section.

I had a lot happen to me after I had my son. I had just assumed since having a baby was one of the happiest and greatest things that could happen to someone that nothing in life would be bad after having a child. It did not take me long to find out how wrong I was. I love my son more than I could ever put into words but the year after having my him I suffered with such horrible depression that I didn’t even want to live anymore. It’s embarrassing admitting that and openly talking about my depression because I always fear people will view me as a bad mother but now, after everything is said and done, I am so grateful that I had to go through that. I had the choice of going on anti-depressants or changing my lifestyle which meant becoming more active and eating healthier. I had always struggled with my weight and body image so I thought why not make a change for myself instead of having to take medication. After my son’s first birthday I started eating a lot better and working out regularly and now I really do love my body. Sure, there are things I am shy to show others but overall I love everything about it. I have a pooch at the bottom of my belly because I had a big baby. My boobs are not perky any more and they are much smaller, but being able to provide my son with all the nutrients he needed with them is a fair trade. I have stretch marks all over but let’s be honest, who doesn’t have stretch marks? I have a nice big five inch scar from where my beautiful baby boy was brought into this world and guess what, I even love that too! Knowing that everything that is “wrong” with my body was caused by creating my wonderful son really allows me to embrace everything about myself and I love it.

My pictures are of me now, 18 months PP and a nice big close up of my c-sec scar and stretch marks :)

Three Years Later (Christina)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 2 Comments

Age-31years
Number of Pregnancies/Births-2
Children Aged 5 and 3..sooo postpartum 3years.

So, I came across this website sometime in the last three years. I have glanced at it over time and read some of the submissions. I have hated my body, been disgusted, even resented my children at times for causing my body such changes. Before I had children I was in incredible shape, I was going to start working towards figure/bodybuilding competition. I informed my husband that I couldn’t do both, compete and have kids, at least not at the same time. I explained to him what such extreme training can do to your period and your cycle. So we chose to start our family. I was roughly about 150lbs pre-pregnancy the first time. I gained 50lbs with him, I was just over 200lbs by the time I went into labor.
There were two years in between my children, and I can honestly say that I didn’t make enough effort to loose the extra weight. I didn’t think there was much point since I was going to be getting pregnant again. So I became pregnant with baby #2 and weighed somewhere around the high 150’s. Again I gained 50lbs. Not to sure how this happened since I was more aware of my food choices, chasing a toddler and working a full-time physically demanding job! At time of delivery I was around 210lbs.

Three years later I have hovered between 186 (my highest) and 168lbs. I have even stopped taking hormonal birth control and have chosen to use a fertility awareness method, tracking body temperature and such. I am currently having my thryoid checked on a regular basis, since it seems to be just low enough to register, but not enough to really deal with it yet, so my doctor tells me. It has taken me three years to work up the courage to post to this website. While I have still chosen to give another name (my own, but not my common one), it would seem I’m not completely comfortable, but maybe this website and my story and pictures will help me to accept my own tiger stripes. Maybe someone else can relate to me.

On a side note I have recently kicked my exercise habits into high gear with some intense tabata training, bootcamps, cardio and heavy weights, so we’ll see what the next few months brings. But I think this came with a new awareness, understanding and acceptance of my body as it was! My battle scars!

It’s OK to Feel Beautiful (Jennifer)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Plus-Sized Mom, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 17 Comments

age 23
4 pregnancies/ 3 births

I am a 23 year old mother of 3 children ages, 6,4 and 2. I gave birth to my oldest at the young age of 17…Even then I was overweight… Not nearly as big as I am now, but chunky none the less… I had given birth vaginally 3 times in 4.5 years… I barely had any time between pregnancies to get my body in shape… I used to hate myself and I was ashamed of how I looked. I remember looking at myself in the mirror and just crying looking at myself. I was embarrassed when I would go to the OB and have to pull up my shirt to show tons and tons of stretchmarks covering my belly and sides. Not to mention having to have anatomy scans done in the hospital rather than in office because the machines weren’t strong enough to get a clear shot through all of my extra belly fat. I can remember the embarrassment during labor and having to be naked in front of practically everyone in the room. I remember thinking ” I wish I were thinner, I KNOW I wouldn’t be so embarrassed” or thinking that everyone is in disgust with my body…

Right before I gave birth to my youngest, my husband cheated on me for the 4th time.. I had allowed this behavior over and over again because I didn’t feel deserving of love and true happiness because I didn’t love myself. And each time my husband got with another woman, it pushed me further and further away from myself and bringing more disgust and hate and blaming my looks for him straying…

It’s been 2 years since I have given birth and I am 80lbs down from the 378lbs that I was when I delivered. I separated from my husband and I have met the man of my dreams, the one who I always though I deserved. Someone who truly loves everything about me( even my weird toes :P)He showed me that I am allowed to love myself and that there is someone who finds everything I find imperfect about myself, perfect. He makes me feel like a princess and I love him so much…

I feel fabulous. I love who I am, I love every little stretch mark, I love my voluptuous shape, I don’t even mind my cellulite.. All these years I had been telling myself I am not allowed to love who I am and think I am beautiful because of my weight.. But now I know I was wrong. I was beautiful then and I’m beautiful now.. Size does not equate worth, or love, or beauty..

Saggy boobs, mommy pooch, wide hips even my stretchmarks.. They’re beautiful.

I’m Not Perfect, But That’s OK With Me (Kate)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 5 Comments

I am 25 years old. I have a beautiful 19 month old son. I LOVE this page and visit often. I have always had problems with my body, as I am sure most women do, but I have never hated my body. I have always been curvy and thicker than most girls. I am 5’9″ with a large bone structure and big hips. After having my son, I remember many of my friends, some also post partum, including me in their plans to shed the baby wieght. They’d say “We need to start exercising and dieting, I can’t stand looking like this”. I would think “We?”, how funny of them to automatically assume that I felt the same way? I thought it would be nice to lose wieght, but I didn’t torture myself over it, like some of my friends did. I think this had to do with me being a big girl, growing up, I didn’t feel like I had changed much since giving birth. Some days I feel great about myself, and I dress accordingly but other days I throw on a sweater and don’t leave the house. When I feel like that, I try to convince myself that the world isn’t ending because my stomach is a little pudgier than it used to be, or because I feel like a whale. It helps to also think about how lucky I am to have such a beautiful life, with great, encouraging people in it. That gets me by :)