Postpartum

Three Years Later – Almost (Bryana)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Child Loss, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 3 Comments

Age: 24 (25 in August)
Pregnancies: 3 (2 births, 1 miscarriage)
Childrens Ages: Rayden 6 & Cairo 2 (3 on June 23)
Post Partum: 2 years 11 months

Almost 3 years ago I gave birth to my daughter, and my last child. The last 3 years have been nothing short of amazing and wonderful. I have finally began to rediscover myself and learn on a deeper level who I am aside from being a mother.
I began having kids at such a young age that I never really had a chance to find out who I was, so my new journey of self discovery and meaning has been miraculous and very much a beautiful gift. Although there have been many highs, there have also been lows.
Not even 3 months after having our daughter, my husband and I decided he would have a vasectomy. At the time it seemed the best decision and one we were happy and content with. After being blessed with our 2 children, and suffering 1 miscarriage, it seemed appropriate and a good decision. However, in the last 6 months I have come to realize that our decision had been made to hastily and under the wrong conditions. Our daughter, Cairo, was a very difficult baby. I was running on nearly zero sleep and my hormones were going ballistic. My husband was also in the same boat as me. He was currently laid off from work and was spending every minute with me and our children and was suffering just as much emotionally and mentally as I was. So the decision to have a vasectomy, I believe, was made out of fear and at the completely wrong time.
I now feel that all I want is to have another baby, or at least try. I am, however, torn because of my self discovery. I want to go out into the world and find a job, a career, become a member of society in a way I never have been. We have finally got our feet on the ground and have found a groove we work well within. And I know having another baby would not only turn our world upside down, but it would take just as long, if not longer, to find our groove again. And I was told after my daughter that another pregnancy would not be best on my body. Medically I am not the best candidate for multiple pregnancies, which my body has also proven to me aside from all the doctors.
I am unsure where my husband stands on the situation. But he has began talking about how he “doesn’t feel that we are done having kids”. He believes that in time, despite his vasectomy, that I will become pregnant again. I’m not sure if that is his way of voicing his feelings about it, or if he does just truly feel that if it is meant to be, than it will be.
Either way I leave it in God’s hands. I do believe if it should be than it will be.
I love my family, my babies, and the life we have created together. I look forward to our future, and what awaits us.

Mommy of Three (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 10 Comments

26
Number of pregnancies and births: 3.

I just had my third baby on April 2, 2012. My oldest son is 6, my daughter is 14 months, and my youngest son us 6 Weeks. I have always been a bigger girl. Im 5′ 7 and around 190. I think having my last two only 12 1/2 months apart has really taken a toll on my body. Im weighing in right at 200 now. So ivl have lost 29 lbs so far. I just feel like my stomach is stretched out. I love my kids and know it was all worth it though. Just takes somes getting used to I guess. I just really need some words of encouragement I guess.

First pic I was 39 Weeks preggo
Second pic 5 Weeks PP
third pic another 5 Weeks PP

Will I Ever Be Sexy Again? (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 19 Comments

Age: 23
Number Of Births: 1

I married the love of my life in May of 2011, and we conceived our baby boy on our honeymoon. At that time I weighed 145 lbs at 5′ 4″. I’d never been a skinny girl, but pretty athletic and active. Over the nine months I carried my baby, I gained 40 pounds. 20 more than I’d hoped for. I had beautiful skin and not a single stretch mark… Until I hit my 35th week. Then they spread like wildfire. I was devastated. I did everything I possibly could to prevent them, cocoa butter, massage, body brushing.. but in the end they took over. I had planned for a home water birth, but after 36 hours of labor, and being stuck at 6 cm dilated for 12 hours, I had to go to the hospital. Got an epidural, then 4 hours later with no progress, led to a c-section. Everything went as well as major abdominal surgury could go.. I recovered well and my boy latched on and breastfed wonderfully. My precious baby is the best thing, by far, that has ever happened to me. But the body that I was left with has been really hard for me to deal with.

My stomach, love handles, thighs, and around my breasts were covered in stretch marks, and I felt saggy, floppy, and unattractive. I’ve cried to my husband many times saying how afraid I am that I’ll never be sexy again. Of course he reassures me that he thinks I’m the most beautiful woman ever, but it’s hard to believe that when I see my reflection in the mirror. I hear everyone say stretch marks are a badge of mother-honor.. but that’s no comfort to me. I want my pretty, flawless skin back, and I know it’ll most likely never happen. My breasts have grown 3 cup sizes and with breastfeeding they’re extremely heavy. They feel like they’re sagging like crazy and that makes it hard to be topless during intimate moments with my husband. My legs and butt used to be very tight and toned, but now when I run they jiggle like jello. I know that if I stick with exercising, the jiggle can be fixed, but I’m so afraid that my mid-section and breasts are a lost cause.

I’m not exactly sure why I’m telling everyone my sob story, but I felt like I could relate to alot of women on this site. I realize that almost every mom has issues with her post-baby body, and I’m no exception. Still, I thought this would be good for me to share my experience and show that difference of what I had, and what I have now. My precious baby boy is the best thing in my life and he’s worth every sacrifice and hardship that I’ve gone through . But I just hope someday I can get my body somewhat back so he can have a pretty, fit, and healthy looking mommy that he’s proud of. I want to be a good example to my babies.

Picture #1: Summer before marriage, weight 145
Picture #2: Belly 5 weeks before birth, right before stretch marks plagued me
Picture #3: 11 weeks after birth
Picture #4: 11 weeks after birth (side)
Picture #5: Stretch Mark Areas

Pregnant when told I never would be. (Paula)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 5 Comments

my names Paula and im from essex in the untied kingdom, I am 16 weeks pregnant and my daughter is 26 weeks old, my starting weight was eight stone 3 lbs and in my first pregnancy i gained three stone, through a mixture of things.

I had My daughter by c-section due to having severe and i do mean severe SPD, it ruined my pregnancy, i coudlnt work i couldnt exercise i couldnt even stay the house on my own due to either passing out from gestational diabetes which i didnt know i had and exhaustion from all the painkillers i was being given to help me last as long as i could for my daughter.

I was proud of my figure pre pregnancy i had always been a good size six, (i say good because i was never skeletal i just have a small frame) and had big enough boobs that i never felt out of place in bikinis. Id spent my life being told i would never have children the natural way and had resigned myself to that fact so i liked what i saw in the mirror and that was fine with me.

then I found my partner again after ten years and just five months in to our new relationship we found that i was pregnant… I have never been so shocked as i was that day. however that day was the day i said goodbye to ym wardrobe and my collection of over 100+ shoes (not good) i started only eating what i would have normally but then i was active with work and going out, so when i became pregnant and devloped SPD almostimmidiatly i became unable to exercise or be active so when i ate out of boredom and then i could nothing about burnng it off it all soon piled on. three stone….. three stone i was sick at my final weigh in before the birth… how could i have put all that on? it was serioulsy scary even more so when my daughter came out weighing just 6lbs4oz i wanted to know where hte other wieght was and had to look at myself for eating all that i had…id never been one to eat for the sake of it and it made me sick seeing pictures of me that size i hated it… hated the face fat the huge butt the massive thighs. im lucky that i didnt get any stretch marks and thank all my stars for that lucky twist of fate but it seemedto take me ages to lose it. i couldnt exercise to make it go away and the c-section scar and spd were making life hard thank god i had a perfect baby she made life easy x

then just as i though i was making prgress and fitting some of my clothes i noticed the weight loss stopped again and i had no clue why…i became frustratd and angry at myself and the world and desparatly wanted my old shape back i hatedwht i saw in the mirror and still do even now.

howeverthe eventual reason to my sudden halt in weightloss turned out to be my second pregnancy wich i am in the second trimester of am suffereing already. again my clothes no longer fit my boobs look out of place and im left wondering will I ever be me again or am i simply doomed to be the bigger cuddlier version of my former self? oh pleasehelp me.

this first picture is me before any of my pregnancies,
the second one is of me with two weeks to go in my first pregnancy
i never did lose all of the weight from the first pregnancy i still had a stone to go so now i start this next pregnancy off bigger then ever and i just want to cry

The Beauty Within the “Ugly” (Ashley)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 9 Comments

I have never been happy with my body. I have always been chubby but my stomach never hanged over my pants or sagged…now it does. I am only 5’1 and gave birth to a beautiful 9lbs 12oz baby girl! All natural too! It was the most beautiful experience of my life. I love my baby girl more than anything. Some days I HATE my body…other days it isn’t so bad. Clothes don’t fit me right or well. Sometimes I am embarrassed of my body. But I am trying to appreciate it for all the work it has done and the nice home it created for my sweet baby girl. I am only 20 so it is hard to not have a thin, tight tummy! But my tummy has done work! Being pregnant was hard on my body and even after her birth it is still hard but it is all worth it. I know my body will never be perfect or close to perfect but my body served a purpose…it made a life…a beautiful sweet little life. I hate the appearance of it but it served its purpose! I used to have wonderful boobs, now they sag and have an ugly color to them but they feed my little angel. I’m just trying to see the beauty within the “ugly”…

Age: 20
Pregnancies: 1

(Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) 20+ Years Postpartum, Child Loss, Four or More Pregnancies, Mom over 30, No Photos (Story Only), Postpartum, Submissions 3 Comments

I am a (almost) 50 year old woman. I have had 6 pregnancies, resulting in 4 live births and 2 very late (mid second trimester) miscarriages. My “babies” are now aged from 19 up to 25.

When I started having my children in the mid-80s I was considered to be slightly overweight (5-9 and 165lbs), after I had my first daughter (1986) I was 5’9 and (185) – try as I might I never lost that weight and was made to feel such a failure because of it. Forget that I was successfully breastfeeding this gorgeous little creature that I had successfully made and given birth to, all that was concentrated on was “getting back to normal” with absolutely no regard that – for me – “normal” would have to be redefined as I was now a mother and had done something amazing.

Let’s fastforward some 7 years and 3 more children (and 1 of those miscarriages) later and I gained another 5lbs with each of the pregnancies. EVERYBODY and I mean everybody was soooo concerned with how I looked – my own Mother was constantly nagging at me to “get back into shape” (forgetting the fact that she NEVER had!). I began to consider myself totally worthless.

I felt an absolute failure, all of my friends seemed to be able to do it and I couldn’t. I guess that started the terrible relationship with food that I have to this day. 20 years down the line and 1 Gastric by-pass later, I’m once again 165 and now I look at myself in the mirror and think “Ok, so not so good naked but GREAT clothed!” lol.

I really think that had I realised 25 years ago that it doesn’t all “go back to ‘normal'” and that I should redefine normal I’d have felt far less pressured.

I think younger women should realise that this is something that has been happening for generations – It’s great that women are becoming more open with each other.

With today’s scattered families, frequently we can’t ask our parents (I live in a different country from my parents) so we have to learn from other women.

Uphill Battle (Jade)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom 22 Comments

-Age- 18
-Pregnancy’s- 1 and -Birth’s- 1
-Children Age- almost 2yrs

I was only 15 when i concieved my little boy, zander. I had him June 1st of 2010 at 12.51pm. he weighed 8lb 14 oz and 21 1/2inches long. I have had a hard time dealing with the way i look. i know it could be alot worse but from where i was before having my son to now is a big change. at 15 pre-pregnancy i was 5’5″ 95lbs and a 34DD. my body was so perfect in my mind. my boobs where so perfect and perky, my nipples where the right size and shape. my tummy was supper flat, i was a dancer and had a dancer belly. now my sides have strectch marks, which u cannot really see in the picture, and truely they arent to bad compared to others but for me i worry so much about them. I hate almost everything about me and i know i shouldnt but i do. my fiance is kind of supportive. i know he thinks he loves me but i know i love him more than he loves me. but last october he did cheat on me. so i worry about his mind set it also made me feel so ugly and not good enough. we have been togethere for 4years now hes 4years older than me making him 22yrs old. sometimes i feel stuck because i want my son to have a daddy in his life but i dont know if me and him are right for each other. i have a fear of being alone and i dont know if someone is going to want me for the fact of the way i look and i have a child. now im rambeling haha. but thankyou for reading this and i love this site it has made me feel better and less alone

well the one picture is of my son Zander
my belly as of today 2years after birth(weighing 105lbs and a 34D)
me at 9 months pregnant

My Struggle (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 10 Comments

20 years old. 1 pregnancy, 1 birth.

I have struggled with my weight for years. My sister was always the tiny/petite one and I was always the chunky tomboy. At 15, my manager at American Eagle introduced me to adderall..I could take it and work hard all day without eating anything. I was losing weight and starting to feel good about myself for the first time in my whole life! In the summer of ’09 I was approached to model for Hollister..I started working there and befriended one of the managers right away! We bonded over our adderall use and it quickly turned into a stupid competition on who could lose more weight and look better in super low rise jeans and tiny tank tops. I was around 135lbs and a size 4 when I started working there and by the summer of 2010 I was 118lbs and a size 0 which was VERY thin for my 5ft 9in frame. On December 6th, two days before my 19th birthday…I found out I was pregnant! I stopped taking adderall immediately and started taking care of myself. My tiny sister had a 2 year old and was pregnant with her second child at the time, she had no stretch marks and went home from the hospital in her skinny jeans so, I was hoping I would get lucky like that too! At almost 30 weeks my very round belly started to itch CONSTANTLY and that’s when I noticed my stretch marks for the first time. I couldn’t stop crying..my husband tried to act like he didn’t see them and told me not to worry about it. I was almost 200lbs when I gave birth to our 7lb 14oz baby boy…my doctor never had any concern about my weight because of my build (I asked at every visit!) I was still hoping to shrink back down to normal when we got home but it didn’t happen..I was still huge and I had stretch marks on my stomach, sides, thighs, and legs. My sister kept telling me it wasn’t a big deal and I was depressed for no reason but hearing that from someone with two kids and no stretch marks just pissed me off more. A few girls that I went to school with had babies a couple of weeks after my son was born and it seemed like I was the only one with stretch marks…they were all back to their normal sizes just days after birth and I was still struggling.

My son is almost 10 months old now, I weigh about 145lbs and my stretch marks and saggy stomach still bother me every day. I truly believe that this little blonde haired blue eyed boy saved my life because if he hadn’t come along when he did, I wouldn’t have changed my unhealthy and very destructive lifestyle. This site made me realize that I’m not alone and I really enjoyed reading all of the inspirational stories. One day, I hope to be proud of my body and what it has endured.

Photos:
Summer of 2010
9 months post
9 months post
My handsome boy.

Still Struggling, but Starting to Accept It (Autumn)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 2 Comments

Age:21 almost 22
Previous Post here.
Pregancies: 2, Births: 2 Boys.

Hi My name Autumn and This is my Second Post, Its been Alil over 2 years since I last posted. Theres alot to update on My last post was in October 2010, I was 8 months pp with my first son, A month later in Nov 2010 I found out I was pregnant with my second son. They both were VIA c-Section, Hunter was 9’5 Kaige was 8’8 So I had big babies. Since My last post iv been through a birth of a second son, Weight up and down, Loosing our house on christmas day, and Moving back in with my mom, Loosing jobs and Getting new ones, I will admit i dont feel as bad as I did in my last post About my body, I know It created life and that My Man is not going anywhere, Hes been there for me through thick and Thin and was there for both the boys birth and is there and is such a good father. I gave birth to my second son In auguest 2011 So as of right now I am 21 months PP with my Second Son, Since the birth Of my second son I have Lost About 50 something pounds and now am down to 124 pounds, I was 108 when i got pregnant with my first one. But my body still isnt in pre baby shape. I just wish i didnt have the pooch because it hangs over my c section, I think its because I had big babies and Had a c section. Thanks for listening.

The pictures are me 21 months pp

Bikini Season (Monica)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 10 Comments

14 months postpartum
Mother of 3 year old and 14 month old

I came across this site after the birth of my first child. I was going through postpartum depression and it felt like everyone was pointing out my new mommy body and weight. This site made me feel so much better but still I couldn’t except my self. Being pregnant with my son I was 75 lbs larger (200 lbs) than I was before becoming a mommy. Even though he was a ten pounder it looked looked I hadnt lost any weight after the birth. Summer came and even though I live next to the beach, I went once in an athletic cover it all swim suit. That bathing suit was almost to my knees. Time went by and my husband went on deployment. My husband loves my body but I’ve always been ashamed around him. Once he was gone I realized I had to do something. I ran around my house, used workout videos, and ate right and for the first time since becoming a mom I felt fabulous. I didn’t lose all the weight, the stretch marks are still here but I am beautiful. I’m more beautiful than before. I just needed to love accept the body that I have and that carried my children. This year I’m showing the world that I am beautiful on the beach. Hope everyone has a fabulous bikini season.