On Nov 6, 2008, I was blessed with a beautiful daughter. She is amazing to me because it is the first person in my life I can look at and see some resemblance of myself. I was adopted as a newborn, and always stuck out like a sore thumb with my light brown hair, blue eyes, and tall stature. It has always been very important to me have a child of my own. My daughter is the most precious gift I have ever received, and even on my worst days, she is the light that brightens my day. At 5 weeks pp, I am watching the changes in my body take place slowly. I gained 45 pounds during my pregnancy. I have lost 28 of it thus far. At 5’10”, I was a 165 pounds (a size 8), with an athletic body. Now I am good size 12, with 38E chest, and sagging belly. Sometimes it is difficult for me to understand how my husband can still find me sexually attractive. Clothed, I am for the most part comfortable with myself. I can cover the layers of skin & fat with a shirt & pants. Naked, I cringe if I look in the mirror. All I see is my sagging breasts, stretch marks, wider hips, and baby belly. As much I disagree with him that I am still beautiful, his words mean more to me than I can express. I know that beauty comes from within, and the confidence of finding yourself beautiful outweighs any outwardly appearance. I must to learn to love my stretch marks, bigger curves, and pudgy belly. I am slowly coming to terms that my body may never be the same as before, and now I am beautiful in a new type of way: a motherly way.



