Postpartum

21 Year Old Who Feels Inadequate in Her New Body (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 19 Comments

When I got pregnant, we definitely were not planning it. I had got pregnant several months before our planned wedding date and as a result we pushed the wedding date way up and I was 3 months pregnant on my wedding day. I am still so ashamed that it happened that way. As a result, it was extremely hard, everything in the first year was so rushed, but I am so blessed that my husband endured it all with me and we came out on the other side. We were given a gorgeous baby boy, whom never ceases to amaze me. God has blessed us so much.

Now, that being said and done…I love being a mother, but after giving birth I really fell into a deep hole of depression regarding my body. I felt so disgusting, and unseen. It was like the world kept moving but I didn’t. I was fine the first month or so but then I hit a wall. I thought losing the weight wouldn’t be that difficult. I mean, I’m young, and most people I know my age that were my size were able to lose it fairly quickly…well, I wasn’t so lucky I guess. I had started out weighing 135 (5′ 10″ tall) and by the end of the pregnancy weighed in at a whopping 187 lbs. After I gave birth to my 8lb. 1oz., 20 in. baby boy, I lost about 20 lbs immediately, in the two weeks. I was pretty excited about that, but little did I know in the next 4 months I wouldn’t lose anything more. I even joined a gym and started working out 2 months after he was born, 2 days a week…and I mean pretty hardcore working out. I lost nothing. I got off birth control and lost 5 lbs. Since then I haven’t lost anything. It seems like no matter what I do, I can’t possibly lose another pound. It’s just hard feeling like what you want more than anything is unreachable. So if anyone has any encouragement for plateauing I’d deeply appreciate it. I just feel alone, this is my first child. It should be easier…

So, yeah…I’m working on myself. Trying to accept myself exactly the way I am, but It’s so hard. I don’t believe my husband when he tells me I’m beautiful. I feel like he’s watching all the other women out there who aren’t huge like me. I’ve officially become paranoid, and trust me I know this is unhealthy…so I’m posting on here because this site has been such an inspiration to me…and any kind words would help me realize that I am not as alone as I feel like I am. So does anyone out there identify with how I feel? OH and I must warn you…most of my baby weight went straight to my hips, butt, and legs. That’s where my genetics like them. haha and I also got stretch marks everywhere on my body…especially my belly and breasts. My stomach has a freaken basket weave texture now…and since my breasts went from a 34A to a 36C, I have what looks like sun rays coming out of them. haha

pic 1 …4 days overdue
pic 2-5…4 months postpardum

It’s Not Really So Bad (Autumn)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 7 Comments

Your Age: 29
Number of pregnancies and births: One pregnancy, one birth
The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 9 months

Today marks 281 days since my daughter was born. The same amount of time that she spent on the “inside”. I’ve been looking forward to this day, it feel momentous for some reason.

I look over the landscape of my changed body and I’m grateful that I’m not so changed that i don’t recognize myself but also thankful for the signs that my daughter once occupied my space. The day after her birth (by c-section, after 27 hours of hard labor) i saw my deflated belly in the mirror and thought “I have arrived”. My mind went back to all the mothers on this website and i knew that i was going to be
with the majority with my stretchy skin and mother’s “apron” and not one of the few who return to hard, flat bellies within a few weeks.

Silvery stretchmarks line my belly but they’re only visible in certain lights. In the blinding, brilliant sun they fade into the rest of my skin but in harsh overhead lighting they look like craters. But I’ve grown comfortable in the skin i’m in. I’m not saying that I’m about to get in a bikini and head down to the beach, but i also realize that I’m not in competition with 19 year old spring-breakers. I credit this website with the acceptance, and even love that i have for my new form. Before SOAM i hadn’t seen what a “real mother” looked like without her clothes off. My mom, through genes that somehow skipped me, had no stretchmarks and maintained a very svelte figure. So thank you to all of you for having the courage to post your photos and stories and for giving me the courage to love my jiggle and stretchmarks and even my c-section scar enough to do the same.

Photos-
1 – 40 weeks pregnant, I was HUUUUUGGEEE
2 – My 40 week belly, it was not a “pretty pregnant belly”
3 – Today, sucking in makes it look worse
4 – Today, letting it go makes it look smoother
5 – Today, in the right light everything looks pretty good
6 – My daughter, the reason for this post in the first place.

10 Months Update VCC (Angelica)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 3 Comments

My age:22
# of pregnancy: 1
months pp: 10

Hi
i already posted pictures of my new figure when i was 2 months and 4 months pp and the title is VCC. I want to share this new pictures with you because this journey isn’t easy, it takes time to adjust and to accept this new “era” of my life, my husband always tells me that i am beautiful and that he loves me no matter what, y am happy with my life God gave the most precious gift, my baby girl.
before i was pregnat i was size 7, i still fit in almost all my pants and i am decided not to buy any other size because i don’t wnat to gain weight i want to loose 5 kilos. I still can buy size 7 but they just don’t fit the way they used to fit me!
So here are my pictures 10 months pp, i see a tiny difference between these and the last pictures
dont you??
Thank you!!!

Amanda

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 19 Comments

hello there. my name is amanda,i’m 23 years old. i thought i would send a quick note to go with the photos! my daughter is now 15 months old, she weighed 10 pds 9 oz ( healthy baby) i gained 70pds with her, i went up to 212 pds. i didnt have 1 strech mark till the last month of my pregnancy! i had a c-section after 27 hours of labour! so now after all the stretch marks, weight gain, and c-section, i now have skin the feels empty ( if that makes any sence) and it droops over top of my cesarian and i have a pooch :( i hate it.. so here’s some photos of before pregnancy, 12 weeks after haing my daughter to right to the date of today! so roughly 15 months after having amilya! i tried sending the pics other ways but my computer has a block on it for some reason! do wut u like with my pictures!

2nd Baby 12 weeks PP, I Hate My Body! (2nd Time Mom)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 14 Comments

I was 18 when I got pregnant with my first and gave birth when I was 19, and then when I had just turned 21 I became pregnant again, and Just gave birth in March. My baby is 12 weeks old. She weighed 8 lbs 2 oz I am breastfeeding and doing Wii Fit to try and get back in to shape but these stretch marks are very depressing!! At my highest pregnancy weight I was 192, and 2 weeks after I gave birth I was 158 and I have gained 10 lbs back so I am at about 168. My goal is to be 145, but that is a long term goal. It has taken a lot to submit this, so please be nice!

1st pic is pre pregnancy, about 6 months before.
2nd pic is the night I went in to labor with my 2nd
3rd pic is 2 days pp
4th pic is 12 weeks pp
5th is 12 weeks pp

~Your Age: 22
~Number of pregnancies and births: 4 pregnancies, 2 births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: almost 3 years and 12 weeks

Mama of Three Under Five (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 14 Comments

I have three kids under age five.
I enjoy this site and believe that all mothers are united by that bond of knowing what only a mother knows- that you helped create this life with your flesh and bone – nurtured and grew it, protected and fed it, thrilled in its movements and spent sleepness nights with worry over one who would eventually reveal him/herself as an amazing little boy or girl. All mothers’ bodies are beautiful for this reason alone.
My first child, a daughter, was born 8 pounds, 15 oz., born two days early (vaginal delivery but with pitocin and epidural)… I had a small tear that didn’t heal well and that coupled with trouble breastfeeding caused me so much angst and pain! If only someone had told me that it does pass, it is worth it, and it did, and it was. I had a linea negra mark on my belly and I hoped it would stay, but as you can see from my pictures it vanished. I thought it was a beautiful “mother’s mark.” I think my swimming-pool-sized belly button suffices for that though. ;)
My second child, also a daughter, was born 8 pounds, 6 oz., induced one day after my due date. Things went so much more smoothly after this one. Breastfeeding was easier in general because I knew things would get easier, which they did. At about 6 weeks I developed mastitis once (my only time getting it), but with some good antibiotics the pain and fever were gone in hours. I also developed late-onset post-partum anxiety around 9 months, but that went away a few months later with time, patience, and meds. Both pregnancies themselves were uneventful in a good way… I was pretty active and didn’t have any morning sickness to speak of.
My third child, a boy, was born 9 pounds 6 oz., induced one day before his estimated due date. Another awesome, easy delivery (thank you epi!) and breastfeeding and everything else was the easiest yet. I haven’t had trouble eventually losing the 50 to 60 pounds I gained with each pregnancy because of breastfeeding I guess, and also just being tall and predisposed to slenderness. I don’t eat terribly but I don’t diet, and I’m active but I never “work out.” Having three kids keeps you busy in general. Heck, having one busy kid does that!
I’m finding motherhood a joyous if incredibly stressful journey, riddled with peaks of happiness and valleys of fear and occasional despair, all just the typical patchwork of mothering emotions for us all. I feel like I was a successful enough person before having kids, but boy, the experience of raising these children is my greatest triumph, and it so far surpasses anything in my past that those great adventures pale in comparison. In this, we mothers are all united, and I think we are all in on some great and wondrous little secret. ;)

~Your Age: 35
~Number of pregnancies and births: 3
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 4.11, 3.2, 11 mos

Out in Left Field (Lisa)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 8 Comments

Name: Lisa
Age: 26
Number of pregnancies: 2 complete, currently pregnant with #3
Current Weight: 130-ish
Dress Size: 6-8

Ultimately, I have always been my own worst enemy. As a teen, I worked perhaps a little TOO hard on showcasing my body. I got a lot of attention (both good, and bad). When I married my husband in 2005 – we started trying for a baby. At that time I was 112 lbs. and was a size 4 respectively. I had a cute belly, complete with sparkly navel jewelry. I wore cute clothes, sassy heels, I took care to look my best.
Pregnant with my first, I loved my pregnant physique. I liked my big round tummy, and felt womanly and special. After she was born, and I came home to find that no size 4, size 6, size 8 or size 10 pants would fit…..a change in my body perception forever changed. I was a size 12. 2 weeks after birth, I was weighing in at 146 pounds. “It will come off, it takes time” was what my mother said. But it wasn’t just that. My skin was saggy, stretched, lose. I looked in the mirror – and I didn’t recognize myself. Here I was, a new mother who was madly in love with my child…but I couldnt look in the mirror. When I showered, I hung a towel across the mirror. I didn’t even want to catch a glimpse of my reflection.
My husband waited, patiently, for the time to come when we could be intimate again. I think he felt I was scared…..but it wasn’t that. Under my clothing was a COMPLETELY different body than what he’d fallen in love with, what he’s married, what he’d last seen prior to a baby being housed inside. What was he going to think? What if he took one look and lost all desire? I did the best I could to cover myself, without being obvious. I felt awkward when he reached out to touch me.

I started reconnecting with old friends during my first few months of motherhood. People I’d gone to school with. People who were the same age. Looking at their photos, everyone looked…..the same. The beautiful girls were still beautiful. Now, I really WAS all alone. The first of my “group” to marry, then to have children, and then to completely “let herself go”. I felt disassociated with myself. With the world. My husband took a job working out of town 5 days a week, so it was just me and the baby. It was during this time that I made bad choices with my eating habits. Skipping breakfast, skipping lunch, and picking at dinner. The weight came off. I went back to 120lbs. But nothing really changed. There was still sagging and bagging….but I was happIER than I had been before. Then, the shock of my life when we found out quite unexpectedly just as my daughter was turning a year that we were pregnant….again. I was overtaken with joy, and excitment. But the next thought was, “I didn’t even get my body back. NOW what’s going to happen to me?”

I gained more with my second. 55 pounds. Pregnant, I looked ok. My sizable belly made it difficult to notice where all that weight was. Then, I gave birth, and i was staring, yet again, at someone I didn’t feel I knew. The stretchmarks were bigger, brighter and had spread. I had cellulite and sagging in places I didn’t even realize you COULD get cellulite and sagging. I was ashamed. I stopped wearing tank tops, or skirts, even shorts. I wore my black maternity pants for as long as possible. I tried to hide what I didn’t like.

What took place in me over the next few months was an acceptance of what I was, in a sense. I knew the stretch marks would never go away. I knew that my breasts would never look the same. I knew that losing the extra weight had to come with time. What I couldn’t accept then, or now, is that despite having two exquisite children and loving my role as their mother – I feel less like a woman than I ever have. I feel a loss of confidence, sexuality and femininity. In social settings with girls my age…I feel alone. I make up for a complete lack of pride in myself by making jokes about my forever changed body. “Yep, I have pregnancy service stripes” or, “sometimes I feel a stinging sensation and realize Im standing on my own titty”. It works, in the moment, to help make light of it.

I guess ultimately, all I really want is to turn that acceptance of myself into an actual LOVE for myself. My husband still tells me I am beautiful. One day, I want to see that too.

The photos below are from today…..2 babies in 2 years, and 9 weeks pregnant with my third.

My Little Angel (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Eating Disorder, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 3 Comments

I was anorexic 5 years before pregnancy. I’ve never been satisfied with my body even when I had only 105 lbs (height 5 6). This pregnancy has totally changed my way of life. I’ve gained about 40 lbs, but my daughter is worth every pound, every stretch mark. Btw. I thought I’m gonna be stretch-mark free, but now I see them lol. I got purple ones on my behind and really pale on my belly. I love my daughter more than anything. Pictures are 1 week post partum

Your age: 20
Number of pregnancies/births:1/1
Age of my daughter:1 week

Perfect at Last! (Jen)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 5 Comments

When I was younger I was naturally very thin and I hated my body. Then I gained weight and I hated my body. Then got healthy and I hated my body. Then at 26 I got pregnant and I discovered my body. In July of ’08 almost one year ago I gave natural birth to a 9lb 6oz little boy. I gained around 50lbs and since then have lost it. Now here I am with stretch marks on my bottom wrinkles on my belly, stretched out nipples; older, freckled, cellulite and spider veins everywhere (the photos aren’t picking most of this up) and I LOVE my body. I created life! I will get older and things will sag, things will wrinkle and stretch out even more. I will eventually turn to dust but my creations and what my body has made will live on and create even more life. To some I may be too scrawny, too flat chest or much more but to me I am perfect.

Our bodies really are temples. You only have one chance at this life and I don’t want to waste another moment obsessing about what has been and will always be a perfect body! I am not a model or an actress; I am not a doctor or a CEO; I am a mother and nothing can top that! After years of being self conscience about my entire being I have learned the hard way that being confidant in yourself and your flaws is what makes you feel and look beautiful.

-Pic #1 is 4 weeks pregnant
-Pic #2 is 40 weeks pregnant
-Pic #3 is 10 days postpartum
-Pic #4 & #5 is 9 months postpartum

Mommy to a Princess (Amanda)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 6 Comments

Age: 20
First baby
19 months pp

Hello :)
First, I wanted to say that I love this website. I think all of the mama’s on this website are absolutely beautiful!

Well, I started out at 5’1 and 110 lbs. I was only 17 years old when I became pregnant. I was scared to death but I thank god everyday that I have a beautiful little girl who absolutely adores me! Her daddy stood by me through everything, I couldn’t ask to have a better guy! I loved being pregnant, until week 26 when I was put on bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy. I gained 40 lbs while pregnant getting me up to 150 on the day I gave birth. I didn’t get any stretch marks until week 38. I remember putting a mirror underneath my HUGE belly & seeing all of the bright red stretch marks! Considering I put special lotion on my belly 3 times a day to prevent them, I was horrified.
On October 25, 2007 my beautiful little girl entered the world weighing 7lbs even. During the first 3 months I tried to ignore the fact that I was 130 lbs. I soon started to go on the treadmill every single day & by 6 months pp I was back down to my pre-pregnancy weight. My stretch marks faded completly but I still wasn’t happy with my weight. By 9 months pp I got myself down to 87lbs at 5’1! I admit, I ate nothing and excercised much more than I probably should have, but I liked the way I looked. By my daughters first birthday I started to gain a little bit of weight back and by 15 months pp I was back up to 110 lbs! I have been eating healthy this time and walking every day with my daughter. I am now at 100 lbs and completely happy with myself.
I love spending every single second of my life with my daughter. She puts a permanent smile on my face! I would do it all over again in a heartbeat :)

first pic: 1 month pp
second pic: 19 months pp
third pic: me & my daughter
fourth pic: my princess