News

SOAM on Oprah?

Bonnie (SOAM) News 4 Comments

Awhile back, I posted a link to a facebook group my friends have created in the hopes that Oprah will take notice of the site and feature it on her show. My friends and others have written letters to this effect and I felt it was time that I do the same. I wanted to share it with you all:

Dear Miss Winfrey,

My name is Bonnie Crowder and I am a mother. Having struggled with body image issues my whole life (as so many women do) and being completely unprepared for the effects of pregnancy upon my body, I lived in shame for a long time about how my body looked. One day, I happened to see another mother’s belly and I realized that it was not my fault for looking this way and that I am certainly not the only one whose body was forever changed. I felt that if I was so very relieved to know this truth, then there must be many other moms who are hungry for reality, too. And so I began TheShapeofaMother.com where women submit photos of themselves before, during and after pregnancy – where we find others who are like us in body and mind.

By the end of its first month, the site was featured in media outlets around the world, including the London Guardian. It has since been in magazines, articles, and was recently featured in a UK documentary by Louise Redknapp. We get over 3,000,000 hits monthly. I have received letters from women in many countries thanking me for the opportunity to ease their minds and see some real bodies. Clearly, this is something that has been very good for women across the globe.

Recently, some of my friends have written to you in the hopes that you would consider featuring the website on your show – I am eternally grateful to these women for supporting me so wonderfully. But it’s not fair to make them do all the work, is it? At first I felt uncomfortable for promoting myself in this way, but then it occurred to me, that this is not about me at all, but about Womanhood. I hope you consider this – your show could make such a wonderful impact on the self-esteem of American women. If we could change the shape of women in the media, we could do worlds of good for this and following generations.

Thank you,
Bonnie

If you feel moved to participate, you can join the group here and submit a letter here.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Bonnie (SOAM) Body Image, My Own Ramblings, News 3 Comments

To all you who have participated.
To all you who have read the site and passed it on.
To all of you who have been empowered.
To all of you who have been relieved.
To those with stretch marks and those without.
To those who no longer recognize their bodies, and those who bounced back.
You who are uncertain you could ever appreciate your body again.
You who grew, nourished, and loved the tiny person who came from your body.
And to you who have no child to hold this day – you are mothers, too.

There is so much we have to fight for as women and as mothers. Today let’s take just a little bit of our dignity back. Today you should appreciate your body in any small way that you can, and today you will forgive yourself a little of the pain of trying to fit physically into this Barbie world. Today – give yourself a happy Mother’s Day.

I hope your day is lovely and that your family pampers you accordingly! Blessings to mamas everywhere!

Thanks to the French

Bonnie (SOAM) Celebrity Beautiful, News 5 Comments

This month’s French version of Elle magazine features several celebrities photographed without makeup or photoshopping. And guess what? They are still beautiful. It’s a different kind of beauty, one that shows the imperfections in their skin, but a more important beauty for the world to see. Granted, they are still professionally lit and dressed and hairdressed, but, hey, it’s a start. Check it out.

When a Child Dies

Bonnie (SOAM) Activism, Child Loss, Link, News 11 Comments

I lived in a sweetly ignorant world before I opened this website – I never knew of a person who had lost a baby. Not here in the US! Not in this day and age of good medical care and awareness of baby safety! I knew it happened, but it was rare – so rare.

And then, shortly after this site opened, a mother wrote a post here about having lost her son and it punched me right in the heart. But she was not the only one, many mothers have since written here about the same thing.

That same summer, a friend of mine was at the birth of her goddaughter when that beautiful little girl did not make it – and there was no known reason for it. I listened to my friend as she tried to make sense of this, as she went through the grieving process, the legal process – the fears during her friend’s next pregnancy, and the joyful outcome of a healthy baby at the end.

This website is here for us mothers to help us deal with our body issues, but as I have learned here, mamas need an outlet to grieve as well. This week, a friend pointed me to a beautiful website for parents to blog along the road to healing. I would like to know of other websites as well to keep them here as a resource for parents who need them. If you know of any that have helped you, please leave them in a comment here.

This past week, two babies in the blogging community have died. Maddie and Thalon. You can read more and find links at this BlogHer Post. If you think you can help, please do. If you cannot afford to help monetarily, even just a comment or a moment of silence, I believe, would do the world some good.

Send me your photos!

Bonnie (SOAM) News 0 Comment

I am working on a new project in relation to this site and would like your help. I am planning to create posters and cards for midwives, OB’s, LC’s, doulas, etc, to post and keep in their offices as literature (if you can call it literature when it is primarily photos, in fact I am sure you cannot call it literature, but am too tired to try to figure out what you CAN call it). I also hope to create some merchandise like bumper stickers, etc, that you can choose to buy (I once upon a time had a Cafe Press store, but I am going to start completely from scratch with classy new designs).

I need help with this! I need you to send me your photos along with your permission to use them.* The photos will need to be high resolution and clear images. I would like all body parts (breasts, bellies, bums, legs and more), all body shapes and sizes, and all body colors!

If you can participate, please e-mail me at bonnie@theshapeofamother.com with “PHOTOS FOR POSTERS” as your subject line. Please attach the photos and give me permission to use them by copying and pasting the text below and inserting your own name. Photos will remain anonymous. If I use your photo, I will compensate you in some small way TBA.

Permission (please include):
I, ~insert your full name~, give Bonnie Crowder permission to use these photos as she sees fit for public service literature and/or promotional items for sale.

Thanks, everyone! Please pass the message on to anyone you think might be interested!

*I will give credit to photos where I can – if nothing else, I will promise you a page here at this website dedicated to thanking you publicly or anonymously with links to your original photos if you like.

Ads on the home page

Bonnie (SOAM) News 1 Comment

I realize that a lot of the ads on the home page are rather the opposite message from what I am hoping to convey here at The Shape of a Mother and I apologize for that. I do not endorse any of those ads. Unfortunately, I cannot filter ads by keyword, merely by blocking each individual website – and there is never a shortage for stretchmark cream companies et cetera.

That said, I am hoping to find a way to solve this problem within the next few weeks. Thank you for your patience while this is sorted out.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

A Request from a Participant

Bonnie (SOAM) News, Submissions 0 Comment

Sarah, a contributor here for the Save our Daughters project has humbly requested that we help her out. She has entered a contest which will enable her, if she wins, to live her dream photography project. Under almost any other circumstances, I would not post such a request here, but her project idea falls right in line with this website and would would greatly benefit women and girls everywhere. Click here to read more. If you feel moved by it, you can “Pic It” (upper left corner) and help her stay within the top 20 which will move her entry on to be judged by a panel of experts.

Filming for the Documentary

Bonnie (SOAM) Activism, In the Media, News 4 Comments

filming the documentary
My friend Lorien (SOAM entry here) speaking her mind towards the end of the day

A few weeks ago, I gathered with some other amazing women (around a pool – in January!) to film a segment for a British documentary. Focusing on body image and motherhood, the documentary (currently aiming to air in March in the UK) looks to be positive and moving. It was an empowering moment there with women whose body issues ranged from virtually non-existent to quite serious, and yet, despite the diversity, I felt we all had a bond. I am so honored to have been a part of this, and so excited to help bring this message to the women of the world – that we are worthy, regardless of how we view our physical figures. Thank you, to all involved, for allowing The Shape of a Mother to be a part of this!