First Pregnancy

Perspective (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 4 Comments

There are days when I love my body! There are moments when I love my body. There are times when I have to remind myself I should be happy that I have two functioning arms, legs, and a relatively healthy body + mind. Alas I guess we can all have our good + bad days, our good + bad moments.

I have two daughters that I wouldn’t trade anything in the world for! I hope they will grow up to love themselves + be healthy. My oldest is 5 and my youngest is 15 months.

After my first pregnancy at 26 my body rebounded like a rubber band. I was left with some little stretch marks, but I lost all the weight, still had some volume in my breasts after I weaned my daughter and I even had a toned tummy. My skin was not really stretched out and I felt good about myself.

After my second pregnancy at 30 it was a different story. I didn’t know that pregnancy could change my body the way it did the second time around. I had a much harder time losing the weight, the tummy just didn’t spring back like it did with the first and I was left with excess skin through the mid-section. Luckily this doesn’t show unless I’m bent over. I can feel it + the tightness is just not there, but maybe it will get better with time (and maybe not—that’s ok too). I also lost a substantial amount of volume in my breasts the second time around, especially when I weaned my daughter a few months ago. Little sacrifices in comparison to the gift of mothering two amazing little girls.

I gained 34 pounds with my first pregnancy + 35 with my second so the amount of weight gained was not the difference. I weighed 169 going into labor with my first + 170 going into labor with my second. I’m 5’7″ and I weigh about 130 now, a few pounds lighter than my pre-pregnancy weight (I got pregnant weighing about 135 both times). My first daughter weighed a healthy 7lbs15oz and my second weighed in at 8lbs14oz.

Here are some pictures…One after my first pregnancy, one of me 8.5months pregnant with my second, one of my tummy standing flexed, one relaxed, a tummy shot laying down, and a couple tummy shots from under “downward dog” position to show the extra skin. The good the bad + the ugly…it’s all about perspective. I just thought I’d show that all of these are me.

~Age:31
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 5 years + 15 months

Metamorphosis In More Ways Than One (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 4 Comments

I was five days overdue with my first child. My husband and i chose not to find out if it was a boy or a girl because we loved the idea of the surprise. However, i felt very strongly ever since i knew i was pregnant that i was having a boy. I was five days overdue (which is normal for a first pregnancy). I really enjoyed my pregnancy. I didn’t get too sick, i loved my changing body, my husband did too, and we were in awe of the energy and beauty of sensing our baby grow. I did not get stretchmarks, not one single one, until i was 8 months pregnant. And then, boom, boom, boom, they rippled up my sides in angry purple streaks like lightning preparing for a storm. Out of any change that my body went through, this one challenged me the most. Now, 2 1/2 months pp, i feel that they will fade and i will learn to accept them as battle scars….for my birth was truly a battle of fears and it was a rebirth for me too. I love my son with my entire being. He is the most precious gift and i knew without a doubt he was meant to come to this planet. Thank you for blessing us with your presence my little one. He was born 5/13/13 at 10:14 pm and weighed 7 lb, 3 oz.

~Age: 24
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 2 1/2 months

First Pregnancy (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 7 Comments

Anonymous
Age 21
Number of Pregnancies 1
Number Of Births 1
Age of Child 4 months

When I become pregnant with my daughter it was a total surprise. Luckily I had an easy pregnancy, only got sick a few times and worked up until I was 38 weeks. When I found out that I was pregnant I was 5’4″ and 120 pounds. A little on the heavy side for myself, but still at a healthy weight. Pre pregnancy I fluctuated anywhere from 110-115 pounds. I ate whatever I wanted while I was pregnant but didn’t overindulge. I ate when I was hungry, and stopped when I was full. I gained weight slowly at first but then into my third trimester it really picked up. The day I went into labor I weighed 143, so a 23 pound weight gain total.

I had always had small breasts, but proportionally they looked fine on my small frame. I was a B cup pre pregnancy and a large C throughout my pregnancy. When my milk came in I was a DD. My pregnant belly always was on the smaller side, when they measured it at my appointments I usually was measuring anywhere between two and four weeks behind schedule. I even had an ultrasound to check and make sure my daughter didn’t have growth retardation. I was told that since I was on the small side myself it was likely I would have a small baby. Because of the fact my belly was generally smaller than average, and I gained my weight so gradually, I attribute that to the fact that I didn’t get a single stretch mark on my tummy. My breasts are another story altogether however. I call them “tiger boobs” because they are so covered in stretch marks. My daughter was never able to latch so I pumped exclusively for two months until my milk dried up. When my milk went away I went back to a B cup. My breasts are still perky, but feel less dense. They are definitely softer, but aside from the stretch marks they look nearly exactly the same as they did before.

I went overdue with my daughter and was set to be induced on a Wednesday. On Sunday night I had horrible contractions that made me double over in pain, they finally went away so the next night when I had them again, I thought that they would just go away. They started Monday morning at 2 am, by 9 am I couldn’t take the pain anymore and was begging my husband to take me to the hospital, if nothing else I could get something for pain to hold me over until Wednesday. We went to the hospital and hooked my up to the monitors. I was 3 cm dilated (I had been 2 cm for weeks). They left and said they would check back in an hour to see how I had progressed. After 45 minutes I hit the call light in tears begging for some relief from the pain. They checked me again and I was 5cm, they then admitted me. I was expecting to be sent home, so I was definitely in shock that today would be the day. I got the epidural at 12 pm and from there it was smooth sailing. At 4:32 pm after pushing for 3 contractions my sweet girl was born weighing in at 7lbs 1oz. Up until I pushed, I was told she was ‘definitely small’. She was so beautiful and I was instantly in love.

I wore a post partum belly binder for a few weeks. My belly was flat after six days but still felt like mush. It took about two months to feel firm again. At 5 weeks I was working out again. I weighed 133 when I came home from the hospital, 117 at two months post partum, and 107 at three months postpartum. I now fluctuate between 105-108. I run about 16 miles a week, and watch what I eat, but overall I am happy with my body. I gave another person life and that is the most miraculous thing a body can do. I didn’t have expectations to look exactly as I used to so I can’t be disappointed.

I used to check this website religiously throughout my pregnancy, I wanted to see how pregnancy affected other women, I was nervous but I knew that giving new life and being a mother was the most important thing. To say that pregnancy didn’t change my body would be a lie. I do think that genetics and age play the largest role in your transformation though. That’s why I never slathered myself in cocoa butter or bio oil. I knew if I was going to get stretch marks that’s just the way it would be, and it was useless to worry about it. The picture of me in the pink bikini is pre-pregnancy. I weighed 112 in that photo. The photo of me in the green sweatpants is six days after giving birth, I swear by the belly binder for making your tummy go back down quickly. The next is a side by side comparison of 39 weeks pregnant and two months post-partum. Two months is when I began to feel good about my body again and my tummy started to firm up, I was about 115 in that photo. The last photo is of me four months post partum weighing in at 106. I’m now at a point where I’m just trying to maintain my health. If anyone has any questions please feel free to ask. I know how much this website helped me and I just want to help others in their journeys into motherhood. :)

Struggling to Accept My New Body (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Diastasis Recti, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 9 Comments

I am a 23 year old mother who got pregnant unexpectedly. I was 120 before pregnancy and gained 75 pounds. My baby was 9 pounds 5 ounces and my body will never be the same. I have diastasis recti, and my boobs are uneven and sagging. Although I’ve lost all the pregnancy weight (nursing), my body is definitely much looser than it was before. Trying to get my confidence back by posing in a swimsuit although I’m sure I’ll never wear a bikini in public again :-(:-(

~Age: 23
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2 pregnancies, 1 birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 6.5 months postpartum

From Loving My Body to Loathing It (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Eating Disorder, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 24 Comments

I got pregnant at 17. It was unplanned and unexpected. I was scared, but a little excited too. My boyfriend was supportive and so were his family. I loved being pregnant.. I so enjoyed watching my belly grow each month. For the first time in my life, I felt womanly and sexy. Pre-pregnancy I was a mere 89 lbs. Keep in mind I am very petite- only 4″11. Well, by the time I delivered my son I was 115 lbs. I was happy though, because I really felt like I was all belly. I never got a single stretch mark. My beautiful baby boy entered this world weighing 6 lbs 3 oz.. a decent size for me I think. By the time I got home, I realized what pregnancy had really done to my body. My stomach was loose and flabby. My boobs were so saggy I hardly recognized them. Not to mention my nipples went from being small and pink to being giant and brown. My ass is too big to get into any of my jeans, which I wore my ENTIRE pregnancy, I might add. Every time I look in the mirror I want to scream. My vagina looks like complete roadkill.. I won’t include a pic because I’m honestly too embarrassed but my urethra is much lower than it used to be, and my labia is very stretched out. I also have a new ‘lip’ from getting snipped down there. I feel like no one will ever want me ever again. My boyfriend assures me my boobs aren’t ‘that’ saggy and I’m not ‘that’ fat, but then he tells me to curl ups and go running. If we ever break up, I know that no man would want me. I have battled anorexia, bulimia, depression, and bipolar disorder since I was 13. I have been self harming for many years as well. My body is already covered in scars. I no longer feel beautiful and womanly like I did when I was pregnant.. I feel empty, deflated, and disgusting. My son is so much more important than my body, but I am so depressed about the changes that came after him that I’m finding it really hard to enjoy being a mom. I cry during late night feedings, I hardly leave my house, when my dad offers to watch him I decline because I don’t have anyone to hangout with anyway. No one wants to hear me cry about how awful I feel.. and I really don’t blame them. I currently weigh 97 lbs, I’m hoping to get down to 90 by the time my son is 12 weeks old. I only hope that I can overcome this loathing of my body so that I can fully enjoy him while he’s this small. I feel like I’m missing out on being a mom because this is eating away at my self esteem. I don’t want to fall back into the cycle of cutting myself, starving myself, and purging because I want so badly to be happy for him. I hope god hears my prayers, because right now, I am lost.

Your Age: 18
Number of pregnancies and births: 1
The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 4 weeks postpartum

Inverted Nipples (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Breasts, First Pregnancy, Inverted Nipples, Pregnant, Submissions 10 Comments

Age: 26 ys
pregnancy 31 week

Hi, this e’my first pregnancy and my breast nipples hey were always Inverted.
We know that many women leave to breastfeed their babies by reason of not having breast nipples!
I was always ashamed by tua inverted nipples I hate them I feel ashamed and so ugly.
There is little time they went out to outside. I’m afraid of not breastfeed my baby. Some mummy has or has had the same problem???

Toned After Twins (Lindsay)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Twins 5 Comments

I am a 27 year old mom of beautiful twin girls! my pregnancy was a very difficult one- spending the majority of it on bed rest and in the hospital. My girls were born too early and spent 2 months in the NICU. Once they arrived home, I could never find the time or energy to get to the gym. I started working out from home when I could and lost all of the twin baby weight in the privacy of my own bedroom! I do have slight stretch marks, and I don’t quite look how I did before, but I am happy with the progress I have made and feel good about myself as a mother of twins! I have now created a blog to help others stay motivated to reach their own health and fitness goals, to provide a fun and supportive community, and to share healthy recipes for families! But most importantly, I am a proud stay at home mom to my happy and healthy girls and am LOVING every minute of it!

~Age: 27
~Number of pregnancies and births: one pregnancy, twin birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: First photo was taken hours before walking into my c-section, second photos were taken one year postpartum!

080213-lindsay-1

My Story (Marie)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 36 Comments

Hi, I’m Marie. I have a 5 year old daughter. I’m a single mom since my husband left me, and I’ve been single and celibate for 5 years now. I would love to remarry and have a companion, a lover, and a father-figure for my daughter. But I am so insecure and ashamed of my post-pregnancy body that I refuse to get close to any guy, refuse to be seen naked, heaven forbid try to have sex. I know I should be more mature than this, and less shallow when it comes to physical beauty, but for 5 years I’ve been ashamed of my body and I don’t think I’ll ever stop feeling ugly and unworthy because of it.

I got countless stretch marks during pregnancy. My belly is covered from belly button all the way down to where pubic hair starts. My hips and thighs and upper buttocks are covered in stretch marks, too. My breasts as well, covered, and even the backs of my calves. The deepest ones are on my belly and breasts. If I stand far away in good lighting you can’t see them, because they’ve faded mostly white, and my skin is fair. But They are still deep, and countless. I also have some looseness of skin on my belly and my breast’s skin is not as taut as it was before pregnancy. My breasts themselves also became lower and “empty” feeling immediately following pregnancy/end of breast feeding. So I feel like my breasts are pretty saggy for my age and the fact that I’ve only had one child.
I didn’t know what to expect with pregnancy. Nobody told me about stretch marks or loose skin or abdominal muscles tearing, etc, etc. I didn’t know about vitamin E oil and that it can/might/sometimes helps/prevents/reduces/softens stretch marks and loose skin acquired during pregnancy. I feel horrible that I did not oil myself, as one is supposed to, during pregnancy. I feel like if I had, then maybe I would not have gotten stretch marks and loose skin, maybe my breasts would have stayed more taut, maybe it would have just reduced the number and/or severity of my stretch marks and loose skin..but it’s obviously too late now, and I’ll never know. Now I feel like since 1. my body is ruined and 2. it is my fault that it is ruined that 1. I am ugly and 2. unworthy of a husband/lover/additional pregnancies.

I’ve included some photos of myself, but remember that the resolution is so poor that my deep stretch marks do not really show. I don’t have a good camera, only a webcam with fuzzy resolution. But hopefully some of the loose skin and breast sagginess is visible enough to prove the legitimacy of my concerns. Trust me, you can’t see my stretchmarks in the pics, but they are deep and countless and all over my body.

I Feel Like They Can’t Be Fixed (Adria)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Body Dysmorphic Disroder, Body Image, Breasts, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 26 Comments

20 (age)
Pregnancies (1)
8 months post partum by cesarean.

When i first became pregnant, during my first trimester i lost 20 pounds. Than the rest of my pregnancy i only gained 10 pounds. After i delivered i then lost 25 more. This is what alot of people would call “bouncing back” and yes in some ways i did. Two weeks after delivery i could fit back into my pre pregnancy clothing. 3 months after delivery though i developed a condition called body dysmorphic disorder, it took over my life to the piont of suicide. At around the same piont my husband wanted to leave because he couldnt understand why i felt so horrible about myself, he got tired of trying to help but with no results. Ne never left though he stuck by my side and continued to try, much to my appreciation. If it wernt for him i wouldnt be here to write this post today. I went to counciling and i am no where near as down as i was thankfully. With exersize i got some of my old form back. The only thing hindering me from total and complete love for my self again is my breasts, they make me sick. To rememeber what they used to be and what they are now is dissapionting. I weigh 118 pounds now, i think im ok with the rest of my body now. I still have my days i just hope one day that i can accept the changes my son did to my body and any future children as well. Included is a picture of my handsom son, hes keeping me going :)

Updated here.

What Pregnancy Has Done (Nicole)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breastfeeding, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 4 Comments

Age: 22
Children: 1 Child, 7 months old

Like most young ladies, I struggled with body image. It was the most severe when I was in middle school and my doctor made a comment about my weight being high. I was only 124 pounds, which was a healthy weight for my height. I ripped myself apart for the longest time. When I was 20, I met my husband. I weighed 120 pounds, at 5’2″. I knew I looked good, but I didn’t feel it. We planned our pregnancy and successfully conceived one month after we married. I embraced pregnancy because I finally had a reason to look bloated! I loved it so much, we are planning on a second pregnancy already.

I gained 20 pounds while I was pregnant, which is slightly below the 25-35 pounds of weight gain that is recommended for my body type. I was on track to gain 25-35, but I stopped gaining weight at 28 weeks because I lost my appetite. My baby boy, Finn, was born at 38 weeks and 1 day, weighing 6 pounds 8 ounces. I didn’t get a single stretch mark and my body snapped right back into shape. My friends called me a freak of nature and my neighbor told me that I am the kind of woman that other women hate.

Now, at 7 months postpartum, I am 5’2″ and 115 pounds. I have never been in better shape, and not only that, I’ve never had so much self confidence! There is nothing I did to get where I am today. I did not exercise during pregnancy or after pregnancy and I do not eat very well. I honestly believe that breastfeeding may even have had something to do with it.
My breastfeeding story is interesting, to say the least. I breastfed until Finnegan was 3 weeks old, completely stopped for 8 weeks, and decided to relactate when he was 10 weeks old. I pumped around the clock, took every supplement and drug I could get my hands on, and regained a full supply and our exclusively breastfeeding relationship within one month. My weight plateaued for a while until I relactated, when I lost an additional 5 pounds.

I feel like I get a lot of scrutiny because of my figure. People tell me that it isn’t fair or that it’s wrong. I believe that every woman has a shape, this just happens to be mine, and mine just happens to be one that society favors. Unfortunately that makes the women who have naturally different shapes feel that they are doing something wrong, or that they are not beautiful. All woman are beautiful, though! All mothers are beautiful. Every body is amazing. Just look at what you did with it; look at who you made. :) Pregnancy and childbirth are the most spectacular experience and the most incredible thing I have ever done!

The photos I have posted are of myself at full-term while pregnant with Finn, myself at 7 months postpartum, and my bouncing baby boy! Thank you for reading.