First Pregnancy

Follow Up, A Year After Childbirth (Ann)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 17 Comments

Previous post here.

When I read over my previous submission from a year ago, my stomach clenches and my chest feels tight. I sounded so sad and hopeless, like pregnancy was an entry into a beauty contest that I had already lost. I have almost zero pictures of me and my baby when she was very young because I was so uncomfortable with my appearance and I will always regret that. I wish I could go back in time and say “Stop wallowing and take some damn pictures with your baby!”

I worked extremely hard in the following months to lose the 70lbs I gained during pregnancy. Strapped my daughter to my chest in a carrier and walked around the neighborhood as often as I could, followed a strict diet and did strength training in my living room when my kid fell asleep. It was tough but I’m stronger than I have ever been because I now have a reason to be healthy and not just skinny. I’m the first to recognize that I was relatively lucky in the skin department and admit that I sometimes use self-tanner/push-up bras to conceal my “flaws”, but no diet or exercise regime will ever erase the stretchmarks from my hips and thighs or lift my boobs back to their starting position. Obnoxious people in my life still have some less than flattering comments but I am usually OK with rocking a bikini because I earned these abs AND these stretchmarks.

Anyway- over the last year, my happiest memories have never been related to my outfit or my weight. The best days were the ones when I forgot about my appearance and just spent time with my kid.

First pic- six months after birth
Second pic- 11 months
Third pic-my guns from carrying an infant

(Un)expected Miracle (Proudmama)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 8 Comments

Previous entries here and here.

Age: 31
Number of pregnancy and birth: 1
Age of child/months postpartum: 20 months

I’ve been meaning to post an update for a while.

I realized the other day that the reason I hadn’t was because I was waiting for a miracle. I kept waiting for that day where I would wake up without that extra skin and that belly button drowning in wrinkles. Without the abdominal muscle separation that keeps me away from wearing certain type of clothes. So that I could post: “See, if you wait x amount of months, your body goes back to pre-pregnancy shape!” Not quite. Not for me anyway.

But I did take pictures a few days ago with the intend of updating and telling you that my body hadn’t changed much, but upon further examination it has. The changes are more subtle that I expected but while comparing these pictures with the 11months post-partum pictures, there are definitely less wrinkles and I think my shape has overall improved. It might just be because I’ve gained some confidence or because after 19 months of breastfeeding my breasts look like their old self again. It might very well be an optical illusion caused by lighting and a slight tan…But the important thing is that I’m able to look at myself and think, “You know what, I don’t look too bad at all.”

See the thing is, a miracle did happen, it just wasn’t the one I expected. My baby who at 11 months was just learning to stand on her own…well she isn’t quite a baby anymore. She’s this precious beautiful 20 month old little girl who’s running everywhere, getting into everything and talking up a storm. I’m in awe of her everyday. Every new word, every new skill is a miracle in itself. And while re-discovering the world through her eyes, I can’t help but see myself the way she sees me. And how can I not then think that my motherly shape is beautiful. She still loves to lovingly pat my belly (and now she actually says belly while doing so.) She still occasionally will lift my shirt to see if the breasts that nourished and comforted her for so long are still there. But now she just smiles and lay her head on my chest, “no boobies”, she says. Because she is “a big girl.”

My body might never be what it used to be and it might take me a long time to be confident enough to rock a bikini. But what it did by bringing my daughter into this life was miraculous. And whenever my little girl stops whatever she’s doing and runs over to give me a kiss, it really does remind me of what truly matters.

PS. I just wanted to let you know that after I sent the update, my husband and I found out we are expecting baby #2. We are ecstatic! And although a part of me does worry about how it will affect my body, it really is nothing compare to how blessed I feel to have been given the chance to experience motherhood a second time. I will keep you posted!

Updated here.

Momma of Twin Girls (Danica)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Twins 18 Comments

First off I’d like to state that the first picture posted is of me at 37 weeks & 2 days pregnant… it is also the day right before I gave birth to my twins so it gives you a nice glimpse as to how large my belly was. The second picture is of myself 7 weeks postpartum :) (7-14-2011) I am quite happy with how my belly is recovering and I am very secure with how my belly looks. I was able to deliver the twins vaginally which is what I wanted which also made recovering much smoother. The final picture is, of course, of me and my lovely twin girls!! Before I got pregnant I weighed 117 lbs. During the pregnancy my total weight gain was 53 lbs. I am now down to 132 lbs. I really enjoyed being pregnant and was able to embrace it after the first trimester. The first trimester was rough as I experienced harsh morning sickness and horrible fatigue. Once the second trimester hit, though, everything was great! I am definitely a very proud mother of two healthy beautiful fraternal twin girls!! :D

~Age: 23
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregnancy; twins
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 7 weeks postpartum as of 7-14-2011

1 Pregnancy, 1 Birth (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom 5 Comments

I was 16 when I got pregnant. I was just starting to live out my life after years of being shy and to myself. I had met the father of the baby about a year before I got pregnant. Luckily the father of my daughter is really good to me, loves our daughter and where going on two years and 1 month on Saturday.Pregnancy was complication free. Her birth was a pain. She 2 weeks past due, so I decided to go ahead with an induction. She still didn’t want to come out so I was stuck with a C-section. (scar is hardly noticeable) I was up and going after a week. Though here I am 5 weeks postpartum still can’t do vigorous exercise. I’m blessed with a beautiful family now. Honestly, it was worth the toll it took on my oh so young body. Lol. I’m learning to accept the things I can’t change, and change the things I can. Thankfully I haven’t had any stress what so ever . As soon as I got pregnant things sort of fell in to place. All with the exception of my body. See I’ve always have self-image issues. When I was in Elementary and a little bit of middle school, I was a bit chubbier than others. I developed bulimia and dropped a whole lot of weight! Even then I had the idea that I was saggy, and disgusting. Of course it didn’t help that I was always getting cheating on and told that I was not good enough.. “men always think they can do better until you leave them dry(;” Lol. Well anyways, even my father (douche bag) Always told me I was fat, & that my arms resemble chicken’s wings. (whatever) I started pregnancy at around 137 and at my last DR’s appointment I was weighing 180. :O holy cow that’s 47 pounds. I didn’t mind much about the weight it was the stretch marks that really got to me. I would BATHE in cocoa cutter, and Palmer’s Stretch Mark Solution night and day. Obviously it was a waste of money! Anyways, while I’m absolutely in love with my daughter, I have my days where I break down and start crying. My body will never be the same, I won’t ever feel sexy again. My boyfriend doesn’t mind them, but he gets annoyed of my constantly thinking he’s not attracted anymore, and of the fact I don’t stop slapping Cocoa butter on. I lost about 25 since I’ve left the hospital. I’d still like to lose another 25. I’m doing this the healthy way this time!! Other than that I’m blessed with a healthy baby. :)

1st picture: About 7 months pregnant
2nd:40 weeks
3rd: Pre-preggs
4: 2-3 weeks PP
5th: 5 weeks PP:

Hard to Feel Good (Chelsea)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 13 Comments

Hey there, I’m a 22 year old first time mother of a 7 month old beautiful little girl. While pregnant with my daughter I gained 80Lbs making my weight a whopping 220. At my age I feel like being a mom has certain expectations, one of them being that you shoudn’t look like you just gave birth. In our society it’s almost frowned upon to look like a “mom” and have pregnancy battle scars.

I have countless peers with children that don’t have one stretch mark, have no extra loose skin, and still wear two piece bathing suits. I have friends that are pregnant that would hyperventalate if their pregnancy left any physical scars on their body. That’s hard for me to see when I have gotten stretch marks on literally every part of my body including my belly, breasts, thighs, calves, upper arms, and butt, not to mention my permantent double chin.

When I first gave birth everyone reassured me that the scars would shrink and get lighter, I just needed to give it a few months, yet they seem to have gotten worse. Meanwhile I still need to lose 40Lbs to return to my prepregnancy weight.

It’s now summer and all I want to do is take my daughter swimming but I’m embarassed to go out in a bathing suit looking and feeling the way I do. I realise that there are a lot of moms that feel the same way I do, but where are they? When I’m out at the beach, or a store, all I see are these skinny, flat stomached young moms.It makes me feel like I should look a certain way being a young mother and that’s the hardest part of it all.

I feel like if there weren’t such harsh physical expectations on women then I would feel differently about my body, but when I’m drowned by images of tall, dark, slender, skinny women after birthing a child, I just feel defeated.

This website makes me feel better, actually being able to see that I’m not the only one whose body has been so affected by pregnancy. For the past 7 months I’ve been so hard on myself and the way I look so it’s nice to feel like it’s normal. Thank You.

Mommy Belly (Sarah)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 22 Comments

I’m 26 with 3 pregnancies, 2 births. I have a 4 year old son and 5 months and 2 week old daughter. I was 21 when I had my first child and I weighed 150 pre pregnancy, I wasn’t the skinniest I have ever been but I liked the way my body looked. I wore form fitting clothes and bikinis and didn’t even think twice about it. I gained 50lbs during my first pregnancy and postpartum I weighed 180lbs then gained back 10lbs a few months after the pregnancy, 40lbs over my pre pregnancy weight. It took me about 2 years to start loosing weight. I lost 35lbs but I still had my mommy belly with stretch marks and flabby skin. About 8 months after loosing my weight I became pregnant with my daughter. I had a difficult pregnancy with my daughter, I Went in to preterm labor with her at 32 weeks and was in the hospital till I gave birth at 36 weeks via repeat c-section. I only gained 25 lbs with my daughter. Postpartum I weighed 170lbs and currently still do, weighing 15lbs over my pre 2nd pregnancy weight.

I loved being pregnant and having a baby belly, I get baby belly fever in stead of baby fever! I miss having that cute little round belly with my sweet lil baby in side kicking and squirming around! I wish having a mommy belly was a fun as having a baby belly! I am working on losing 25 more lbs right now but what ever I do, I cant loose this mommy belly and I’m having trouble losing this post pregnancy weight again! My husband is currently deployed over seas and will be home in October. I am trying my hardest to lose this weight and my mommy belly with it but it just isn’t working that well! I want to surprise him when he gets home, I know he doesn’t care if I have mommy belly or a tight skinny belly. But It bugs me and I want to look good for him! I have been stressing over this for the last few weeks and I know I shouldn’t stress about it but I do….

Has any one had trouble with losing weight and your mommy belly after pregnancy? also does any one have tips on how to tighten and tone my stomach so its not so flabby. I do crunches and a ton or ab work outs but its not working. Most my friends have returned to their pre pregnancy weight and body’s with in 6 months of there pregnancy. I so wish it was that easy for me! How long after pregnancy did it take any of you to get back to your pre pregnancy weight and body?

photos
1st pic- pre pregnancies, 2nd pic- first pregnancy, 3rd pic-after first pregnancy, 4th pic- second pregnancy, 5th and 6th pics- what my tummy is now

Why Me? (Rachel)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom 15 Comments

Age~18 (17 when pregnant)
Number of pregnancies/births~1
Age of children/PP~8 weeks

I was 17 and had just started my senior year when I first found out I was pregnant. As you would have guessed I was very scared and cried lots over the subject. Loads of thoughts soared through my head, but instantly I knew I wanted to keep my baby. I was pressured by my family to stay in school and on top of my game. In the end I am very thankful because I graduated with straight A’s even though I was pregnant my ENTIRE senior year. My boyfriend and I had a kind of rocky relationship at first, maybe because we were together only 4 months before I got preggo but now we have been together a year and 4 months and still going strong. :) I don’t know what I would do without his help and support. Anyways, I had a generally happy and healthy pregnancy. I wasn’t (too) moody and not very sick either. The only problems were my back pain, swelling and I gained almost 50 pounds. Well and the feeling self conscious of being pregnant in High School, even though everyone told me I was the cutest pregnant person ever. When I went into my first sonogram we were both hoping for a boy. But we ended up with a baby girl instead. You get what you get, right? At 39 weeks I was induced so I could make it safely to graduation four days later. Checking into the hospital I was terrified…so many things could go wrong or I was definitely coming home with a baby girl. They had to ripen my cervix, since I was only 1 1/2 cm, before they hooked me up to pitocin. So they stuck the pill inside and about an hour later I was feeling mild contractions. Although I didn’t know they were mild, so I thought that was the limited amount of pain I would feel. I was like, “I can handle this, no problem!” Boy, was I completely wrong…after they started the pitocin my contractions were horrible. I cried, and cried. Especially when they broke my water. Luckily, I could recieve the epidural shortly after that and slept for about 3 more hours before I had to push. 30 minutes of pushing and a horrid episiotomy later I gave birth vaginally to a beautiful, healthy baby girl. So overall, I was lucky with my pregnancy, and my delivery with the minor exception of my cut. When I was moved to my room I was forced to go pee, which was the most painful experience of my life. Standing up and walking sucked too. But what was worse was looking into the mirror the first time and noticing my stomach was still big, and I had purple lines almost everywhere. I broke down and thought, “why me? why did this happen to me? It has to be my fault because I ate too much, or because I didn’t exercise at all because this, because that.” I had never seen anyone with stretch marks, and I don’t know any girls that have gotten them from being pregnant. It really hurt. Not only to dislike myself, but to know it was my fault that I did. When my boyfriend helped me into the shower I was scared of his reaction to how I looked. I will admit I cried over it, it hurt so much. He always tells me I’m beautiful and not to worry because he will always love me no matter how I look. I know he means it but I still wish I could feel good about myself. I never appreciated what I had before pregnancy, and this must be my punishment now…Although I have lost almost all of the weight (except for about 10 pounds) I am still have marks and saggy boobs.

I want to continue my schooling and continue to give my little girl everything she needs. I love her more than anything and I love being a mom, and I wouldn’t trade her for the world.

1st picture ~2 weeks before giving birth
2nd & 3rd ~ side stretch marks
4th & 5th ~ 8 weeks PP
6th~ Today
7th~ Me and Aales
8th~My baby girl: Aales (Uh-Lease) Jaedan Brack

Summer Lovin’ (Kayla)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 9 Comments

Previous posts here and here.

My daughter will be 3 months old on the 4th of July. That is coming way too fast for me. I really thought 6 weeks after birth I would be back to pre-pregnancy…Seems like every girl I know bounces right back. I lost 35 pounds in the hospital after I had her. I still am weighing 12 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight. I know they say “9 months to gain, 9 months to lose” but I always thought I would be different. I am disappointed in myself for not working out. She is sleeping all night now! From 9pm-6am but she keeps me so busy during the day and isn’t a napper. So, we are always playing and doing things during the day. Then by the time the evening comes I am beat. I really need to find the strength in me to start working out again. I used to be in pretty good shape.

I try to tell myself that none of that matters. My wonderful husband loves me and thinks I am beautiful and my daughter will always look up to me just like I looked up to my mom and still do today. I want her to grow up knowing that all women are beautiful and that I am not ashamed of my body. My stretch marks are the marks of my love for her and my husband. I gave up my youthful looking body to give her life and to give my husband a daughter. We are a family now and my body is what made that happen.

I was so afraid when I became pregnant that I was going to end up with stretch marks on my stomach. I rubbed myself down with every kind of stretch mark cream that exists in hopes of keeping them away. I checked my stomach and had my husband look where I couldn’t see to make sure I hadn’t developed them yet. I was clear of stretch marks by the time I went into the hospital to be induced! Yay, I was so happy! J Right after I gave birth to her though, and I was in the post partum room, I got up to take a shower and SURPRISE. These lovely little marks had appeared under my belly button. I cried and cried to my husband and he told me I was crazy. He said they weren’t that bad and that I got off really lucky. Everyone told me that. I wouldn’t believe them for anything. I thought it was the end of the world. A few weeks after my daughter’s birth, I just decided not to care anymore. Why was I so hung up on it anyway? My daughter was growing up right before my eyes and my husband was dying for my affection and I was just too distracted to notice!

Well, enough of that. I am done feeling sorry for myself or being down about the way my body looks. I am a woman! I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl! I am more in love with my husband than I ever have been. Our relationship is better than ever, so obviously my body is not an issue for him. Why is it for me? The stupid media tries to convince me to be skinny right after birth. Sorry, but I am not one of those women that go in for a scheduled C-section and gets a tummy tuck right after. I am not “too posh to push”. I gave birth to my daughter naturally and nobody can take that empowering experience from me. Every woman that has been through pregnancy and birth (c-section or not) should be very proud of themselves because that is a great accomplishment and one of the hardest things on the human body. So, obviously we aren’t going to come out of it mark free! We are going to have marks and scars because our bodies were put through hell.

My daughter is my world. I never want to let her see my insecurities about my body. So, I am starting today. Before she is old enough to be aware of me covering myself up, I am stopping. I am getting out in the sun and wearing a bikini. That’s right, I said bikini. I am going to say to the world, (Or just everyone at the pool) “Hey, this is the shape of a mother, and if you don’t like it, that is YOUR problem, because I am beautiful.” I encourage all of you to do the same, for yourselves, your partners, and your children. We can change the way the world sees mothers, we just have to stop hiding.

Picture 1- Me just got back from the pool
Picture 2- Kiss it society!
Picture 3- Me and my beautiful daughter
Picture 4- The loves of my life :)

I Control My Body, My Body Does Not Control Me! (Danielle)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 11 Comments

My age: 35
Number of children: 2 – Daughter 3yrs, Son 5 months

No one ever told me anything about what happens after pregnancy – the fatigue, depression, mood swings, bleeding for weeks, body changes – the list goes on. I was prepared for my baby, but not prepared for what pregnancy did to me.

I got pregnant with my daughter the month I turned 31. It was the first month we tried and my husband and I were ecstatic. I don’t remember much about the pregnancy except the fear and the aches and pains toward the end of the pregnancy. I have been a runner since the age of 19 and so continued to run while pregnant. I ran up until I was around 32 weeks along. In the end, I gained 40lbs and got severe, sudden onset pre-eclampsia and had to be induced. My beautiful baby girl was born healthy and full-term at 37 weeks weighing 5lbs 11.5oz, 17in long. She is the joy of my life.

After her birth, I continued to have high blood pressure for a couple of weeks and developed PPD along with strange looking bruised spots on my lower legs which I later learned can be caused by high blood pressure. I was unable to breastfeed my daughter because the doctor gave me water pills which dried up my supply. This didn’t help with my depression. I had suffered with depression before, but nothing prepared me for PPD. I do not believe in taking anti-depressants so I handled my PPD the way I always handled depression – I ran.

At first I thought the running was going to kill me. I remember the first time I tried to run I barely made it 100 yards. I could feel my tummy jiggling and that really upset me. I wondered if I would always feel that and I had thoughts of giving up and accepting failure. But I kept trying to run, even holding my tummy and wearing tight fitting pants to hold it in. Eventually I could run a mile, then two, then three and more. And eventually my tummy stopped jiggling.

In 3 months I dropped all of the pregnancy weight (I had 25lbs to lose) and, though still slightly depressed, I felt more like myself than I had for six months prior. Around that same time I ran a 10k and finished in an hour flat. It felt good! By 6 months postpartum I weighed the same as I did prior to becoming pregnant and was a whole dress size smaller.

I got pregnant with my second child almost two years later. This pregnancy was a lot more memorable and I was very comfortable with being pregnant. I took belly shots and documented the pregnancy up until the day I delivered my son at 39 weeks. I gained 35lbs and, as with my first pregnancy, I ran up until I was 32 weeks along, but, unlike with my daughter, I continued to walk every day for 30 minutes until he was born. There were no complications with his delivery. He weighed 6lbs 13oz and was 19.5 inches long. He is the love of my life.

This time I lost all of my pregnancy weight by 4 weeks postpartum. I believe it was because I pumped for four weeks to give my son as much breast milk as I could. I did not get PPD either. Instead, I felt amazing! I started running again at 2 weeks postpartum. A month later I added toning exercises. I currently work out 45-60 minutes a day, five days a week, and vary my workout between running, cycling, step aerobics and body toning exercises. Do I have to work out so much? No. I could keep my body looking like it does working out half that much, but I LOVE working out. It is time for ME and I feel powerful when I do it because I know that my body doesn’t control me – I control my body.

I am now 5 months postpartum and weigh the same as I did pre-pregnancy. I did not get any stretch marks from either pregnancy and the extra skin I do have is minimal. I do remember having less extra skin after my first pregnancy than I got this time around and it upsets me a little, but I know that if I continue to watch what I eat and exercise that the skin will eventually return to how it was pre-pregnancy, just like it did after my daughter. I started out a C cup and with each pregnancy, went up to a DD cup, and then back to a C cup. The only thing different about my breasts is that they are a little less perky, but otherwise look the same.

My only complaint about my body now is that I have spider veins in my lower leg and still have those strange bruise-like spots on one calf. I plan on getting laser vein treatments but am waiting until I know for sure if I will try for a third child. My doctor told me the veins are genetic, but considering the other genes I could have inherited, I am not complaining.

I could not find any photos of me pre-pregnancy for comparison, but I can tell you my body looked the same about six months after my first baby as it did pre-pregnancy.