First Pregnancy

Does Your Boob Hang Low? (Amanda)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 8 Comments

I had my beautiful baby boy in October 2010, ventouse delivery on his due date! I became absolutely massive as my pregnancy progressed with swelling in every part of my body. I think I was 52 inches around the waist the last time I measured my stomach when pregnant. I gained around 30 kg’s with my pregnancy and my little boy was an ounce short of 9 lb’s.

He has been breastfed since birth and is now 18 months old and still an avid nursling (which I love!) with no signs of readiness to stop any time soon. I know that my boobs are wonky from pregnancy (although I didn’t realise how badly until this picture was taken) and that I’m still quite large around the middle with the saggy skin and stretch marks to boot.

We live with my parents who constantly tell me how fat I am (I was a skinny teen) which brings me down a heck of a lot. We are not financially stable enough for me to afford gym and with an 18 month old toddler running around you’d think I would lose weight a lot quicker! But being very close to my pre-pregnancy size, seeing this site and discovering how normal I am will give me the strength to ignore the nasty comments about my weight. I KNOW I’m not fat but it still tears me up a little to hear my own parents telling me what an elephant I am and comparing me to other people post pregnancy. I also have a merina iud fitted that makes it hard to lose weight but thanks to breastfeeding I’m not gaining weight either.

We have all done such a beautiful thing with our bodies that we should consider the after effects as battle scars from going through such intense and traumatic changes. And just as the battle scars of soldiers, we should wear them proudly and without fear.

Well done ladies, you’ve all made me feel so much better.
Xxx

24, 1 pregnancy, 1 child Sebastian 18 months old

18, Overweight, and Pregnant (Trish)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Plus-Sized Mom, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom 6 Comments

I have always been over weight for as long as i can remember, at 18 i met my fiance and he was 33! he was so fun and it was risky and fun to be with an older guy and i knew my family would hate it. but 4months in i found out i was pregnant, i freaked out how could i be? i was on the pill! but i was. he was so understanding and actually excited! well my family dis-owned me and his dis-owned him, we carried on our relationship, i moved in with him & in Nov. along came our son! he was amazing and 6months later i am finally ok with my body because my son loves me no matter what and so does my fiance and thats all that matters so i started to love myself to, i am working on losing some weight, to be healthy not to look any better! :)

the photo in the tshirt i am 38 weeks pregnant. the others are 6months PP.

This is Me (Leanne)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Legs, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 9 Comments

23 years old, 1 pregnancy 1 birth, daughter aged 4

I fell pregnant a month after my 18th birthday. It wasn’t planned and came as a total shock, but once the initial shock was over, I was happy. I prepared myself mentally for everything that was to come; except the changes to my body. I developed stretch marks at around 22 weeks. I remember seeing one in the mirror for the first time and thinking ‘Oh no, I’m going to have that scar for life!’ but I wasn’t prepared for the dozens upon dozens of stretch marks to follow. By the time my beautiful girl was born, I was covered. I was so happy and thrilled to be a mother that at first I put them to the back of my mind, but as she got older and time went on the more I focused back on myself. I hated my body. I was over-weight, covered in scars, my breasts had dropped after breast feeding and I felt like an old woman. But I didn’t give in to my negative thoughts. By the time my little girl was one years old, I’d joined a diet club and was exercising more and began to slowly lose my baby weight; that’s when the turning point came. As my friends and family complimented me on how much weight I’d lost and how healthy I was looking, it spurned me on. I didn’t go over the top, but just kept to what I was doing and still enjoyed precious time with my daughter. I accepted that I could lose weight if I tried but would never lose the scars. Once I accepted it I started to love my body again. I’m now 23 with my confidence back. My scars tell a story of the most important journey of my life and make me who I am. For the first time since I had my daughter, I wore a bikini on holiday last year. Yes, I don’t have the beach perfect body, but I’m a young woman, who wants to wear a bikini and why should I let worries of what other people may think stop me? As a woman, the greatest thing you can do is bring life into this world, why be ashamed of the signs that have proven you did just that!

7 Months Pregnant and Scared (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, PCOS, Pregnant, Submissions 11 Comments

I came across your site after seeing it in the DM, I don’t feel easier, (yet) but am glad I am not alone.

I have never been a size 8, always a 12/14, after my daughter was born a size 14 was most comfortable. I grew up with a women who made food and weight a bit issue in the house, it never bothered me back then, but in this pregnancy all my insecurities are coming out.
It started when I went for my 12 week scan, and the midwife basically told me I was to fat too see the baby properly, at this point I should say I am 5ft 4 and weighed round 10ish stone, I have PCOS and my stomach has always been bloated and to top it off I have a anterior placenta.
It didn’t help though, I walked out the scan room in tears, I chucked out my scales and swore to cut back on food, and for 6 weeks I did, and my weight levelled. Having no will power, I started comfort eating, I still do, every day I look at my body in disgust trying not to cry, I love being pregnant, but can’t handle the changes that are happening. I have a friend who is 5 weeks behind me, she knows my issues, yet she is always going on about how the MW says she’s a perfect weight, and her scan was fantastic because she is so thin :( I tend to avoid her now.
I love being pregnant and having a bump, its the excess skin under it I hate, I have no fat any were else really, bar normal weight gain on chin/arms/ankles which I know I will lose slowly after birth, I just cannot stand my stomach. My husband is fed up with it, doesn’t understand, I don’t expect him too.

All the things that were thrown at me as I was growing up haunt me every time I eat, guilt hitting me but I can’t stop. My (ex) mother always made out fat people to be bad and disgusting and lazy (who I feel I am today :()

Its really getting to me, I have 13 weeks left, and I don’t know how I am going to get through without going mad with worry how I am going to deal with my body after, I am scared my weight means I am going to have a 9/10lb baby and that frightens me, I have no motivation to exercise and all my hubby wants to eat is junk, I try healthy eating but he then promptly has a second meal as he is still hungry I end up eating again and feel guilty about my stomach and the poor boy inside!

I read the papers every day, I see all over face book these slim women who have bounced back to shape and get so jealous, so finding your site, I hope to seek comfort here, bouncing back to nothing isn’t the norm, to have a belly and stretch marks is nothing to be ashamed of, I just wish I could believe it, and live by that, but currently I can’t :(

Society and it’s size 0 perfect body mentality sucks

Pic added I was 23 weeks 5 days I refuse to let the camera near me now, yes I well and truly edited it to hide the rankness!

Age: 30
I currently have one child who is 2yrs 6mths and 7months pregnant

Loving My Mommy Body (Raven)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, PPD - Postpartum Depression, Submissions 5 Comments

My name is Raven, I am 20 years old and I have one son that is now 18 months old. I had him via cesarean section.

I had a lot happen to me after I had my son. I had just assumed since having a baby was one of the happiest and greatest things that could happen to someone that nothing in life would be bad after having a child. It did not take me long to find out how wrong I was. I love my son more than I could ever put into words but the year after having my him I suffered with such horrible depression that I didn’t even want to live anymore. It’s embarrassing admitting that and openly talking about my depression because I always fear people will view me as a bad mother but now, after everything is said and done, I am so grateful that I had to go through that. I had the choice of going on anti-depressants or changing my lifestyle which meant becoming more active and eating healthier. I had always struggled with my weight and body image so I thought why not make a change for myself instead of having to take medication. After my son’s first birthday I started eating a lot better and working out regularly and now I really do love my body. Sure, there are things I am shy to show others but overall I love everything about it. I have a pooch at the bottom of my belly because I had a big baby. My boobs are not perky any more and they are much smaller, but being able to provide my son with all the nutrients he needed with them is a fair trade. I have stretch marks all over but let’s be honest, who doesn’t have stretch marks? I have a nice big five inch scar from where my beautiful baby boy was brought into this world and guess what, I even love that too! Knowing that everything that is “wrong” with my body was caused by creating my wonderful son really allows me to embrace everything about myself and I love it.

My pictures are of me now, 18 months PP and a nice big close up of my c-sec scar and stretch marks :)

I’m Not Perfect, But That’s OK With Me (Kate)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 5 Comments

I am 25 years old. I have a beautiful 19 month old son. I LOVE this page and visit often. I have always had problems with my body, as I am sure most women do, but I have never hated my body. I have always been curvy and thicker than most girls. I am 5’9″ with a large bone structure and big hips. After having my son, I remember many of my friends, some also post partum, including me in their plans to shed the baby wieght. They’d say “We need to start exercising and dieting, I can’t stand looking like this”. I would think “We?”, how funny of them to automatically assume that I felt the same way? I thought it would be nice to lose wieght, but I didn’t torture myself over it, like some of my friends did. I think this had to do with me being a big girl, growing up, I didn’t feel like I had changed much since giving birth. Some days I feel great about myself, and I dress accordingly but other days I throw on a sweater and don’t leave the house. When I feel like that, I try to convince myself that the world isn’t ending because my stomach is a little pudgier than it used to be, or because I feel like a whale. It helps to also think about how lucky I am to have such a beautiful life, with great, encouraging people in it. That gets me by :)

7 Month Update (Shantel)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 11 Comments

7 months post 1 pregnancy age 24.

So I made a post about 3 months ago it can be found here.

It has been tough but I am finally beginning to have hope for my body. My skin is still sagging badly but the abs are coming back together and my tummy is flattening out I am still considering surgery but I am giving it more time. I have been doing a strict diet for the past three weeks and I’ve lost 13 pounds so far I’m at 118 today so only 8 more pounds till I’m at pre pregnancy weight !

The first four pictures are from about a month ago. The rest are from now.

5 Months PP and struggling with PPD and body image (MB)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Hyperemesis Gravidarum, Hypoplasia, Insufficient Glandular Tissue (IGT), Postpartum, Submissions 5 Comments

Age: 25
Number of births: 1
Months PP: 5

I am 25 years old and a stay at home mom and wife. I had Hyperemesis during the entirety of my pregnancy and only gained 5 lbs, but seeing as I was already “obese” at 196 lbs when I found out I was expecting my OB said not to worry (easy for them to say, they should try puking 6-14 times a day for 9 months straight!). I delivered my baby 5 months ago via emergency c-section after 18 hours of labor. (I cried so hard when they prepped me for surgery I puked. Last thing I wanted to do at the time).

I am 5’4″ and the last time I was weighed I was 195 (1 month PP) although I feel I’ve lost a few more lbs. I weighed 225 lbs before delivery of my son. Although my hips, thighs, butt and tummy grew, the only part that bothers me is the extra skin hanging down over the bulge left on my belly. Cute bras and panties can cover sagging breasts and big lumpy butts, but hiding a deflated, shriveled belly is harder. I’ve always been short with broad shoulders and wide hips, but my waist has always been tiny giving me an exaggerated hour glass shape that I loved.
I struggled to breastfeed even when doctors told me to give up and just accept formula. My son had a shallow latch and I was not producing milk so he would get frustrated and suckle furiously leaving blisters and broken skin. I had to switch to pumping and refused to give up (I had one episode where I broke down in hysterics because I pumped blood, lovely right?). Through internet research I have found out that I have hyperlastic tuberous breasts and therefore lack a significant amount of breast tissue. After finding out the reason for my lack of milk production and I am overjoyed to announce that I finally am able to almost exclusively breastfeed with only one 4 oz bottle of formula given a day! I no longer blame myself for poor milk production, its a common birth defect and I overcame it in the best way I could.

I am struggling with my body and how ruined it is as well as pp depression (which isn’t helping things). My husband insists that he loves my new body (He went nuts when he discovered how big my butt was getting during the pregnancy) but it’s hard to believe a man who turns down his wife’s advances when the baby is put to bed only to masturbate to porn after she too goes to bed (sobbing). I struggled late in the pregnancy as well because he had been watching “pregnant porn” and barely touching me all the while I was feeling friskier than ever. Why other look at pregnant women and not the one right in front of him? I thought it was just fear of hurting the baby, but he hasn’t stopped. This has also attributed to my lack of confidence. I’ve tried hard to talk to him about it but he gets defensive and angry and tells me “Its just what guys do” and that “I wasn’t giving him what he needed” (this was 4 weeks after surgery while I was hemorrhaging and was in pain) In all other aspects he’s an amazing husband and father, always going out of his way to do what’s best for our son and me.

I am now trying to stop focusing on my belly and focus on the tiny boy who loves to lay on it.

The first pic is of my 5 month pp belly. You can see where a stretch mark popped outwards into a little bubble. 2nd is a side view where you can see the “mother’s apron”

My husband loves my body, why can’t I? (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Legs, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 13 Comments

Age-24
Pregnancies/Births-1

Today I am 17 weeks postpartum.

Just a little background- I had always had self image problems. I remember puking in middle school until high school were during my junior year I met my now husband.He immediately was putting “meat” on my frail 80lb body. I am 5’2”. So I was really starved and needed the help. My husband and I have been together for 7 1/2 years now. Yes, do the math we met when I was 16. And my husband is 7 years older than I am as well.

During my pregnancy my Mother in Law who lives 2 hours away would say how “huge” I had gotten. I ended up almost destroying our relationship. I didn’t get ONE stretch mark until 32 weeks. After I had my beautiful baby girl I was proud of my baby and my body after the birth. This body created life. Something so beautiful! My husband and I were crazy for each other and our baby! We couldn’t keep our hands off each other- Just as we were just before birth and before I was carrying our baby. I had the birth I dreamed of. I managed the pain and had a natural birth. Our plans came together and we worked together beautifully during the birth.

And then life hit and my mom was in the room after I had taken a bath during the day after having my baby. “Oh my god, your stretch marks are worse than mine” I was still positive then- It had barely been 16 hours. I brushed it off. We come home and I still embrace them. I began nursing her and she grew like a weed! almost 3 pounds in 13 days! After she was a month old I began scrutinizing my body in the mirror. My legs had large amounts almost to my knee cap and my stomach had plenty as well. Ugh. I tried Mederma and used it religiously and would ask my husband if they looked any better.

Months later she still says my stretch marks are worse than hers because I have them on my legs as well. I can’t get over this. I have lost the 27 pounds I gained during pregnancy. And most of the marks have faded. She does ultrasound cavitation you may have seen it on Dr Oz. Anyways she has done that on them as well. And they look somewhat better. But I am to the point now I DO NOT want to be around her. I wear clothes that cover my mid section so she doesn’t have to see a roll or a mark. It’s the same in public as well. I will feel like a goddess at home in my clothes while nursing etc and then when I leave I feel like everyone knows. Everyone sees my marks my scars. They see my tattoo along with the scars and probably think yep she will never show that off again.

I want to wear my stretch marks with pride. My husband LOVES my body now. He loves rubbing it. Hell, He keeps me up most nights rubbing me and shaking my ass begging me to love on him and kiss him. He constantly wants to make love. And I can’t get over my body while making love. He wasn’t like this before- I swear- we loved one another but not like this. It is really like he is obsessed with me now. Why can’t I feel this good about my body if he does?

I am still in the process of healing my mind from the scarring. But, I come to this site often and love to read and look at photos and I figured why not. I could help someone else and it might help me as well. I want to feel like a goddess when I leave my home even when my husband isn’t beside me telling my how beautiful I am. I am afraid if I don’t fix my mind now it could take a toll on our relationship. If you don’t love yourself no one else can love you either.

Photo #1- 2010 photo I took for my husband before we got married.
Photo#2- 38 weeks pregnant- I gave birth just 2 weeks later but I remained the same measurements
photo #3- 3 months post-natal
Photo #4-3 months post-natal side view

Uncomfortable In My Skin (Amber)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 13 Comments

Age: 21, Pregnancies: 1, Births: 1, Children: 1 girl, age 3.

I was 17 when I found out I was pregnant, half way through my senior year of High School. I had my daughter one month after my 18th birthday.

I conceived my daughter the very first time I had slept with my new boyfriend. We found out when I was 8 weeks along. We were both horrified and discussed all the options, we both agreed that abortion was the only way and we couldn’t tell our parents either. Needless to say, I didn’t have an abortion, and I am beyond thankful because I love my daughter more than I have ever loved anything.

I have always been uncomfortable with myself, even before I became pregnant, and now I regret being self conscious when I should have appreciated the body I once had. The scars I have now, I can’t hide. I hate hating my body, so I try to own my beauty and what came from these scars. It’s hard, the hardest battle I have fought is accepting myself. It holds me back in a lot of what I do, I am always careful in making sure that I hide my scars to the best of my ability. It’s on my mind in everything I do, and every move I make. But I realize now, after finding this wonderful site, I’m not the only one.

In the first photo you see me 36 weeks along, the scars were all there, but my boyfriend(now ex/daughters father) photo shopped the picture, and I think that made my self consciousness worse. Knowing that he wasn’t okay with what had happened to my body made me even less okay with it. How was I supposed to love what I had become if the person who helped me do this doesn’t love what I have become. Even worse when we separated, how was I supposed to find someone else who could love what I have become. Another hard battle to fight.

But I have to remember, from these scars came something beautiful, and I will own that.

Photos:
1: 36 weeks pregnant (photo shopped)
2: My belly now
3: The beauty that came from these marks