here is me 12 weeks after my second delivery. i was pregnant with boy/girl twins the first time and sadly we lost our beautiful baby girl 3 weeks after they were born (prematurely). i got pregnant again about 6 weeks after we brought our son home from the hospital. 12 weeks ago i gave birth to a beautiful,healthy full term baby girl. my body isn’t what it was (i was 115 lbs when i started and now i am down to 135) but who cares?! a healthy baby is all that matters…i learned that the hard way…
Getting here was a tough road, in more ways than one. Although I am a young mother, my boyfriend and I planned for this baby. We had previously lost two little angels, the first was an early miscarriage while the second loss was discovered at 17 weeks. We were devastated, but it helped us to realize that we were ready to begin this journey together.
Six months after my D&C, we finally conceived our son. For years I had battled with my body, hating it, always trying to improve it, trying to learn to love it. When I got pregnant all of that faded away. I loved my curves, and I often complained about not being big enough to fill out my maternity clothes the “right” way. At 36 weeks I finally developed stretch marks. I had always hoped that I would be one of the “lucky ones” but despite genetics not being on my side, I secretly loved them, too. On May 28th, right on his due date, and after 33 hours of labor, our beautiful bundle appeared and the real journey began.
A friend of mine had her baby about 8 months prior. She was back in her pre-pregnancy clothes, looking great, at three weeks. Being the same age as she, and also breastfeeding, I was sure I would be the lucky one this time around. After having the baby I developed stretch marks on my inner thighs. Thats right, *after* the baby. I no longer loved those little marks. Try as I might, I could not picture them as my battle scars. After a month I still could not even think of fitting into my pre-pregnancy jeans. I was about to return to school, and I frantically bought what I called my “suck in underwear,” horrible afraid that when I walked around campus everyone would see my excess skin start to jiggle.
Along with that, I got post partum [depression?] which took a heavy toll on my relationship with both my son and my boyfriend. I was miserable. I cried every day. Breastfeeding was far more difficult than I had imagined it would be. We developed thrush which remained undiagnosed for three months, and because of the pain, I thought of my nursing relationship more like a punishment. I honestly hated motherhood, hated my relationship, and hated myself. I had wanted this after all the heartache of losing my two daughters, why was I so miserable now?
During the third month, everything changed. I got on medication. I became an avid visitor of this website. I got breastfeeding support. I cannot say I am 100% satisfied with everything about my body (admittingly, I took several pictures for this website, hoping that I could stand or suck in to look better, but I chose to post the first natural pictures that I took) Despite that, I can say that I am truly happy. I am a mother. I LOVE being a mother. I am now nearly 6 months post partem, totally off my medication, and my son is my entire world. It is a shame that it took me this long to stop worrying about every little thing. I am truly saddened that the first two months of my son’s life were wasted while I wallowed in my grief, but I am so thankful that we made it through. I am so much more fulfilled now than I can even express.
One woman commented on another person’s post in this website that this is how we are supposed to look. We aren’t supposed to look like women who haven’t had children. To that woman, I want to say thank you. That single comment changed my entire view. I know that these stretch marks and these curves are a part of me now. For better or worse, they are mine. They ARE my battle scars and battle bumps and battle curves. I still have my days where I am less than thrilled to go walking around in my underwear, but I can say that I am proud to have a mother’s body. I am proud to be a mother.
(The first picture was taken while I was in labor, the next were taken today at 6 months PP)
In 2006 I became pregnant while broken up with my husband, we weren’t married at the time but still seeing each other. At 5 weeks I miscarried and a month later we were married, it was already planned but it devastated me to lose my baby. Eight months later we conceived our son Jacob who turned one today November 1, 2008. I had a tough pregnancy with him and was in the hospital several times for severe dehydration. On Halloween 2007 I went into labor and delivered my son at 9:40am on November 1st, 2007. I am truly blessed to have a healthy baby boy. Attached is a picture after my first miscarriage, also attached are pictures from through out the pregnancy. the last picture is from now, a year later after baby
These are the pictures taken tonight, exactly one week after the birth of my first, Gunner Isaiah @ 26 weeks and 5 days. He was a micro-preemie and weighed 1 lb 13 oz and was 13.25 in. long. I had a normal pregnancy right up until I went into labor. I was thick before pregnancy and gained 10 lbs total. You can see in the pics that my navel piercing scar stretched a great deal. My unfinished tattoo on my ribs was not affected at all. Pumping so that I can eventually breastfeed has started to cause stretchmarks on my breasts, but other than that they look AMAZING! I am loving how big they are right now. :) The old stretchmarks I had on my hips and thighs had just started to extend, but it’s barely noticeable in the pictures. In a lot of ways I envy the moms who have stretchmarks to show. Since my son is in the NICU, the only physical indications that I even HAVE a baby are the hospital bracelets I refuse to take off. I would have rather had my whole lower body covered in stretch marks than have my son so early.
I’ve never been very skinny. The only point I can remember being so was when I was 13 and 5’6″ and maybe 90-100lbs. After that I plumed big time. At the age of 15 almost 16 I started having really bad pains that made it hard to walk, it was found that I had ovarian cysts, a month later I stopped having a menstrual cycle. When I turned 16 I was put on birth control pills to regulate my cycles and help with the cysts. In that time frame, age 15-16, I packed on around 30-40lbs and was around 170 at 5’7″. Not horribly overweight but still higher.
I was on birth control pills from 16 to just after 18 when my last pack ran out(June 2005). My OB/Gyn said that I may not be able to get pregnant, so part of me though why do I need pills then. In July 2005 I had a cyst burst, while at work, I crawled under my desk and cried till my boyfriend and boss found me and my boyfriend took me to my mom’s house, and she took me to the doctors. A month after that I found out I was pregnant. Just by chance too. I had a friend that we knew was pregnant, she had to be she was more then 2weeks late, but she refused to take a test unless some one did with her. Her older sister had never been with anyone and I was the only one around, so I bought her a 2 pack, I went first, looked and threw it out all with in seconds, she peed and handed it to me not wanting to look. Hers instantly was positive. I went back somewhere between 5-10minutes later and got mine out of the trash, to my shock it was positive.
Over the next few days I took 2 more tests each positive. Then August 12th, 2005 I started bleeding. I went to the ER but there was nothing that could be done, we’d lost the baby all within a week of finding out. It was hard, I was only 18, living in the not best conditions with my Fiance(no house), but in away I think it was a slight blessing even though I still cry about it to this day. My cycle never came back after that. My OB gave me a shot of progesterone in October and it started a small cycle, light bleeding for 2 days, nothing then spotting the day after, I’d never had light periods in my life so it was odd. My Fiance and I had an appointment set in November to get the depo shot, but I had to have a cycle first. Instead of going to get the depo shot, it turned into my first prenatal visit of sorts. I found out in early November 2005 that I was pregnant again. Sadly we were planning a move to Texas where my then fiance’s family lives so I didnt’ get a real prenatal appointment.
The move to Texas didn’t last, we were there from Mid December to early February. I was horridly sick, severe HG morning sickness, I couldn’t even keep water down and was in the ER a few times in Texas. I also missed my mom too much. So we moved back to Idaho in February. And I got my first real parental appointment at around 18 weeks. It was such a relief to be able to go to the doctors if needed. We found out just 10days before my 19th birthday that we were having a boy(March 2006) to the joy of both of us. I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes in late April 2006, which is partly why I had been so sick before. My blood pressure started going up too in late May early June, and became Pregnancy Induced Hypertension, and was being watched for pre-e.
My son, Seamus was born on July 18th, 2006. I was induced at 39weeks 5days because of the GD and PIH and he was born just barley at 39weeks 6days (10:12pm). He had a little stay in the incubator for jaundice and we got to come home on July 21st.
In September 2006 I had Mirena IUD placed. It was ok except for it caused me to gain 25lbs in a month. The weight gain made me mad sense I was already way past my prepregnancy weight and thought I’d actually get under 200lbs. I struggled with my weight over the next 2yrs. From November 2007 to May 2008 I lost 20lbs of that weight (I went from 200lbs pre IUD to 225 after, then to 250 a few months later) but it wasn’t much. In May 2008 I had my IUD removed in hopes it would help me to loose more weight. I had bleeding (not really a cycle) from May 17th to the 20th and slight spotting on the 21st. That was the last time I had real bleeding. I had some spotting in early July but it wasn’t any more then what could lightly be seen on toilet paper. I was getting frustrated in late July early August sense it had been almost 90days sense I had any type of bleeding. I went to the clinic they ran tests for thyroid problems which came back normal, and the doc just said it was PCOS a term I’ve herd many times in regards to me. They did a pregnancy test on August 1st just to be sure. Then told me it was negative and that I’d need medical help to get pregnant again, much like the progesterone with my son. They gave me a script for it and my husband and I decided we’d fill it but not use it till December.
One thing had been on my mind though the whole time. How sore my breasts were. I had a digital test lying around from when my IUD was taken out and I decided sense we were going to be trying any time soon that I’d use the test to get it out of the house. I peed and put the lid on it and set it down. I picked it up a couple seconds later expecting to see “Not Pregnant”…..thats not what it said…it said “Pregnant” I freaked, my 2yr old son was in there with me and was confused why mommy was being weird. My husband was still asleep and I took the test to him and shoved it in his face and woke him up, he laughed! I didn’t believe it so I made him buy me another test, took it and it was also positive right away(line test this time) it was a shocker (all this August 17th, 2008). I went to the doctors 2 weeks later sense we didnt’ know how far along I was and found out I was 6weeks 2days, and due April 19th, 2009.
So far things are going ok this time around, I haven’t been puking near as bad as with my son, and actually its getting better at this point, 12weeks 4days. I’m having to have my Gestational Diabetes testing done between 17-18weeks this time sense I was on insulin with my son, and they are watching me closely for pre-e this time. So far so good.
I really wanted to show some pictures of me, the not skinny plus sized, 21yr old mommy thats pregnant, and really you can’t tell because of my gut. I want ladies to see that not everyone is small :)
I have one beautiful daughter who is two years old and I hated my body afterward. I was single and I thought that no one would ever be attracted to me. I was disgusted by myself, and I couldn’t understand how anyone would want to have sex with me. When Brenna was 7 months old a friend of mine asked me on a date… I didn’t realize it was that kind of date until he started acting awkward and stammering with his words. It worked out and we are now married. He’s beautiful grumpy and we’re very happy together… We’re yin and yang.. and it’s just perfect. He’s 10 years older than me and has been wanting his own spawn for quite some time. After we got married we decided to have another baby, and we got pregnant very easily. A few days ago I thought I was 12 weeks pregnant. We went in for our first ultrasound and there was no heartbeat. They performed a D&C. And when I woke up the next morning the painful realization that I was not pregnant, doubled me over and I crumbled back into bed. I finally did get up and I looked in the mirror at the wreck my body is from 1 baby and how I’d wished it was still full. I feel so empty… like I felt after I had my daughter except I had her to show for it… This time I just feel empty. I know we’ll get pregnant and try again, but for now my body is just a reminder that I’m not pregnant anymore.
In high school, I was always a slender and athletic girl. At 6 feet tall, it was easy to put on 5 or 10 pounds without anyone noticing. I played a sport every season and enjoyed food.
When I went to college, I was the cliché: about 15 pounds, but lost it quickly, before my wedding. I got married after finishing my freshman year, to my high school boyfriend, and weighed 153 the day we got married. I was a size 10.
The summer before my senior year of college, we discovered that I was pregnant. It wasn’t what we had planned, but we adjusted and were very excited to meet our baby in the spring of 2004. I put on 61 pounds, including 12 pounds in the last week of the pregnancy. My body was so swollen and puffy.
My daughter was born 9 days before her due date and weighed 10 pounds and was 21 inches long. Within two days of delivering her, I could see my ankle bones again and was down 25 pounds.
Luckily, I enjoy walking and other forms of exercise, so I was able to continue losing most of the remaining weight in a healthful way. The stretch marks (which were so shocking at the beginning) faded to a silvery pink and don’t really bother me much.
We conceived our second child in June 2005. I had put on 50 pounds by my 35 week of pregnancy when I stopped feeling the baby move. We went in for a routine appointment to discover that our daughter had died. I delivered her two days later, in February 2006.
It was hard for so many reasons, but one of the least expected problems I experienced was coping with the post-pregnancy body without a baby to show for it. I wanted to scream, “This is baby fat–I just had a baby, but she’s dead!”
Support of friends, a precious husband, and a healthy workout pattern at the local Y helped me through those early weeks, and I lost 40 of the 50 pounds I had gained before embarking on our third pregnancy in April 2006.
We were blessed with a beautiful baby in December 2006, just 10 1/2 months after our second baby was stillborn. I was pregnant or breastfeeding 57 out of 59 months (through May of this year). My body was hardly mine!
Since then, I have been relishing the freedom to appreciate and use my body for myself instead of always setting aside my own needs for my children’s. I adore them, passionately and without reservations. But I am glad to have my body back, even though it’s not the one I started out with on this journey.
I currently fluctuate between a size 12 and 14, and weigh about 180 pounds. I work out 4-6 times per week, and will be running my first post-baby 5K later this fall.
Since having babies (all girls), I am more committed to appreciating the myriad ways our bodies are formed. The love handles, stretch marks, baby apron, and mis-matched breasts have their own beauty and give me a feeling of accomplishment.
I revel in the beauty I see on this site and all around me, and hope that our daughters (and their partners) will have an easier time of loving the female form than we have.
Before I got pregnant I was a very petite person. I used to worry about whether I’d manage to “stay pretty” during pregnancy, keep my weight gain reasonable, avoid stretch marks, etc. But the first time I became pregnant, unfortunately, it was an ectopic and the diagnosis was missed. The pregnancy in my left fallopian tube ruptured, I lost my tube and very nearly my life. After that reality check, I didn’t care so much about having a beautiful pregnancy – I just wanted to have a healthy one, that I could carry to completion without dying. I conceived again only months after the surgery but had an early miscarriage. We started to think it just wasn’t going to happen. I have a vivid memory of lying on a hospital gurney holding my husband’s hand, sobbing, apologizing for my apparent inability to give him the thing I know he has always wanted so very much…a child. The first photo below was taken at 6 weeks pregnant, when it was confirmed that the third time’s a charm…we had an embryo in the uterus where it belonged. It was a miracle! The egg had come from my left ovary, where we could see the corpus luteum on ultrasound, and navigated all the way across and through the remaining right-side fallopian tube into the uterus. I took the picture to document my pre-pregnancy body, hoping that this time instead of suffering a loss I would actually get as big and round as a healthy pregnant woman should. The second photo was at 36.5 weeks, just barely before my boy arrived. I love the round fullness of every curve, even though it’s never going back the way it was before…the new softness of my body is proof that it can do what it’s supposed to. No matter whether it ever becomes firm or lean again, or whether my boobs droop halfway to my knees when we stop breastfeeding, my husband and I are both grateful for the gift of a son. I love what my body has finally achieved, and will wear its new colors and shapes with happiness.
I am 23 yrs. old. This was my 2nd pregnancy but first born (1st on was a mc.) I was 167 lbs before pg. Went up to 210 lbs and I am now at 183 lbs. I have come to terms that this is now what my body looked like. At 167 I was in a size 11 and now I am in a size 16 (I can fit into a thirteen and actually get the zipper up now but It is still hard to breathe). But in the end I have to say it was all worth it for my beautiful baby girl.
I’m Proud of my Stretchmarks
Today, after 17 years, my belly looks like this. I´ve been thinking that I should try to dress myself in in yellow, orange and red colours and paint my strechmarks so that they look like flames from a fire or a vulcano erupting on the next Halloween-party I go to….. It gives me great satisfaction to know that I have been able to carry 2 (out of three) lovely children full term and that they have grown into two lovely young ladies which have now reached the age of 17 and 19. The eldest is actually born “breech birth” i.e. with her little “behind” first . So was I and one or two of my brothers and sister. The only one we know for sure is born ” like everybody else” with the head first is my twin brother.
Kind Regards
Ewa
