Cesarean

Worried (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Cesarean, Complications in Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 4 Comments

I just had my first baby 9 months (and a bit) ago. The pregnancy was very difficult and although I was told numerous times that I should have been enjoying myself, fun was the last thing I had.
When I found out that I was pregnant, it was the happiest day of my life. And yet, things were very surrealistic. Before being pregnant, I was only 165 lbs at 5’8. During the pregnancy, I gained 40 pounds. I remember that at the worst point, I weighed 220 lbs. I was mortified because I had finally achieved the body I had wanted to achieve. After that, very early in the pregnancy my symphisis split. Apparently, my daughter was in a breach position and was very active from around 2 months in the pregnancy. She would kick and kick! The pain was so bad that I had to carry my belly even if I was walking only a handful of steps. I asked my obstetrician if the pain I was having was normal and she said that this was part of the uterus expanding. Well, the pain never decreased. It was horrible. On top of everything, I got this horrible cough during my pregnancy and we went to the hospital numerous times just because I couldn’t breathe.
The first time we went, they wouldn’t give us any medications. The second time (I was having contractions, not bhc) they still wouldn’t treat the cough even though my coughing was inducing the contractions. The third time, we finally got an inhaler but the cough simply didn’t want to go.
I really had wanted a v-birth with no pain killers, but my OB decided that a planned c-section would be the best for me since I was in so much pain.
My daughter was born prematurely at 6 lbs, 2 ounces (at 36 weeks and 6 days). When the doctor examined her in the OR, he failed to see that she had a tongue-tie. The next few days were rough. Leeloo didn’t want to latch (or couldn’t we found out later on) so we ended up finger feeding her every two hours because she dropped so much weight. I am happy to say that the pain went away the minute they took her out. They didn’t want to release us from the hospital but after a lot of work, we got her weight up substantially and were able to go home after being 4 days in the hospital.
Once we got home, my whole family stepped in to help (we finally got her to latch somewhat using a nipple shield) and we breast/bottle fed her. They told us that if she got dehydrated then it would be a good thing to simply bottle feed. We ended up doing this while trying to get her tongue tie dealt with. Finally, she ended up tearing her own tongue-tie but by then she was used to bottle feeding. It took five months for my milk to dry up (I had enough to feed between 2-3 babies) and that was incredibly painful because every time my daughter cried, my breasts would fill up again.
The next months were really rough because I was sleeping all the time (I suffer from low blood pressure), and my epilepsy started acting up. It got to the point where I was hardly in the picture. After that, I tore a ligament in my right knee (trying to release some stress while exercising) so that made me even more withdrawn. My husband pretty much ran the show (and I must admit that having all of these things happen to me when I am only 28 years old was quite horrible).
Now that my health is finally under control (the issues any way), I am finally starting to get involved with my daughter. She is 9 months old. On top of everything, my body is all misshapen and I can’t really do any exercise.
I have also been experiencing very irregular periods and my breasts are all swollen, my body is bloated and I am always tired. I have done so many pregnancy tests that it is not funny anymore and I have no idea what is happening in my body. Every day I look in the mirror and try and come to terms with my body. It is just very hard. I guess that I should be grateful though because my daughter is awesome and incredibly happy. Anyway, if any one has been in my position, please comment as I really don’t know what is happening. At least I can walk again but it is a little saddening when my daughter doesn’t seem to have much of a connection with me.






9 Weeks PP With 2nd Baby (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Cesarean, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 7 Comments

I’m 24 years old and have given birth to two handsome little boys by C-section. I had my first son in early 2007 and just had my 2nd this past November. My kids are my entire world and I love them them to pieces. The result of my pregnacies and left me stretched, buldged and beauty marked all over. It’s not something I call “beautiful” but I am proud of my Mommy body in all it’s glory. My husband tells me I’m beautiful every day and his desire for me hasn’t changed at all. I do hope some day to be able to have a tummy tuck. I need to lose about 20 lbs. to get back my original weight but I know that will not put me back to where I started before my 1st pregnancy. Maybe someday…. The first picture is of me on my honeymoon, the 2nd is of me pregnant with my 2nd son around 25 weeks, the others are me just over 9 weeks PP.






2nd Time Around (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 13 Comments

My story is 2nd c section was a uk size 10 never had to diet or exercise before even after my first son was born. This time coming to terms with my shape is troubling me its not the weight issue its the shape my tummy has become. 15 months i thought my shape would be alot better. Its not although excersise and crunches done on a reg basis still not gettin there. I still look 5 mnths preg. Appreciate some comment here and if i am not the only one out there with such a pushed out abdomen. Thanks





Anonymous

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Butt, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Eating Disorder, First Pregnancy, Hips, Legs, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 17 Comments

I’ve procrastinated writing this for a long time now. I found this website when I was pregnant with my son. He’s turning 2 years old now and I think it’s time to settle things with myself. Let me first say thank you for hosting such an amazing website. Now, I have a long history of self-hatred and depression. Without getting into to many details, I’ve cumulatively spent more than 6 months in hospitals being treated for anorexia and have been in therapy for the last 8 years. As I began my road to recovery, I was told that I may not be able to conceive because of the abuse to my body. I had no period for 6 years, a condition called amenorrhea. Then on the night that my husband proposed to me, I got my first period. He was so happy, not for my fertility, but at this beautiful sign of health. 3 Months before our wedding I got three consecutive periods and on our wedding night we conceived our son. Pregnancy was difficult. I was on progesterone supplements for the first trimester. The hormones put on quite a bit of water weight and I had gained 20 lbs in my first trimester alone. I gained a total of 54lbs, and on my 5ft frame that was just enough to make me miserable. We were planning to have a natural birth without medications. Then, three and a half weeks before my due date I came down with a high fever. When I went to the hospital I was having contractions and my baby was showing some signs of weakness. I was given antibiotics and cervadil to ripen my cervix and we were going to induce the next morning. I was induced and labored naturally for 12 hours. My cervix only dialated to 4 and my son was starting to struggle in the womb. I consented to a c-section and he was born healthy within the hour. Of course it’s not how I planned, but that is what life gave me. I love my scar, I think it’s beautiful. My son nursed for 17months until he weaned himself. Those were some of the most special moments together. I was fortunate enough to have an oversupply of breast milk and I froze and gave milk to my nephew who was born premature. I have light stretch marks all over my breasts, lower belly, belly button, thighs and butt. My belly button herniated as well and I too, like so many women here, have flat pancake breasts. The curves and the stretch marks have grown on me since. I have good and bad days. Most days my husband makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. I’m so grateful for that. Then there are days when I can’t shut up the voice in my head. My heart breaks for my past, but I’m not ashamed of it nor do I wish it hadn’t happened. Dealing with my anorexia and depression has made me who I am today. It has made me a stronger person and a better mom. My husband and I have made the decision not to have any more children, but I don’t take it for granted, not for a second. Every time I look at my body with despise, I think of how blessed I am.







16 Weeks PP, 2nd Baby, 38 Years Old (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Belly, Breast or Body Art, Breasts, Cesarean, Child Loss, Complications in Pregnancy, Gestational Diabetes, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 22 Comments

This site has made me feel so much better about my post-baby body. I haven’t struggled as much with body issues after baby #2 although I still have 15 pounds to go and haven’t lost any weight since my 1 week checkup despite breastfeeding-baby is now 4 months old. I don’t personally experience much in the way of weight loss with breastfeeding-if anything it seems the opposite. I weighed 148 at my checkup and have been 151 since a month pp-I gained 28 lbs.. I tried working out for a while but I just was absolutely exhausted. I know I’ll get there eventually and I know that the weight will come off eventually-even if it takes longer at 38 than it did at 33. 9 months on, 9 months off has been true for me. The thing I’m having a hard time with is that we’ll be visiting my husband’s family abroad in about 10 weeks, and I know nothing much will change in that time and they’re very critical. I’m trying to just let it go and focus on my joy in my baby because I struggled so much to get her here: 4 miscarriages, a blood disorder I had to take daily injections for, gestational diabetes and a c-section due to concern over irregular (and life-threatening) attachment of the cord to the placenta. We are lucky. She is healthy. I wish I was not so hung up on losing this 15 pounds already. Everytime I eat anything my inlaws will cluck at me, I know it. I want to be a good role model to my daughters and not buy into the body facism we live under. First pic is my belly 2 weeks prior to delivery. the rest of my photos: 1 week pre-delivery 5 months preggo 3.5 months postpartum 4 months postpartum.







1st Pregnancy, 1st C-Section, Six Years Later (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 6 Comments

I never planned on having a c-section. I was hoping for a natural birth, but my daughter had other ideas. At 32 weeks we found out she was breech, and despite our best efforts, wouldn’t turn. I went 8 days overdue, and finally my OB/GYN decided to schedule me for a c-section when it became apparent she would not turn on her own. We found out, during the cesarean, why she hadn’t turned, and that was because she had gotten herself tangled up in her cord when she tried. Really, I am thankful that she is here at all. These pictures were taken 2 years after my daughter was born, after I had started to lose the weight I had put on, and after the stretch marks started to fade. My daughter is 6 now, and very proud of those “stripes” she gave me. I’d like to think that she will be proud to get them herself when she becomes a mother.






Six Months After Second Cesarean (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Cesarean, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 16 Comments

I am back to pre-pregnancy weight but in better shape so yes it’s possible – even after a cesarean. I gained about 45 pounds each time. Afterwards I stuck to a 1400 calorie a day diet, 2X a week weight training, and 2X a week mat pilates at a local gym during lunch (went back to work after 6 weeks). Still have a light linea negra that will hopefully be gone by the summer…

Pic 1 – pre-pregnancy age 20 Pic 2 – 9 months pregnant age 27 Pic 3 – post both babies age 32



What 6 Months of Breastfeeding Can Do! (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 24 Comments

After gaining 60lbs during my pregnancy and crossing a very scary number (I got to 204lbs) I gave birth (via unplanned Cesarean :() to a healthy 8lb 12oz baby girl! Despite c-section I planned on getting back into shape right away, as a former college ice hockey player I had been in pretty good shape before, but as with the birth of my daughter, things didn’t go quite according to plan.

I healed pretty fast and played a couple games of hockey at 8 weeks postpartum, so far so good, it was now summer and I started taking my daughter on long walks, 1 to 2 miles a day (now here was my big mistake) IN FLIP FLOPS! After about a month of walking pretty regularly I started having pain in my ankle, no big deal, I’m tough, don’t like to complain, I keep going for long walks. My ankle keeps getting worse, once my other ankle starts hurting 2 weeks after the 1st one, walking becomes pretty difficult. So I finally decide maybe I should see a Dr. (fast forward a month and 4 doctors!) I am finally told that I have severe Posterior Tibial Tendinitis in both ankles, how did it happen? Well it was pretty obvious after the fact! Walking in flip flops that much is bad, but I’d always done that, turns out walking that much in flip flops right after your pregnancy is really bad! My muscles and ligaments were still lose from the “relaxin”. Combine that with long walks in flip flops and you get two destroyed ankles!

Nine months postpartum and I am slowly getting better I had to wear a really stylish (sarcasm) walking boot for 2 months, and have been in ankle braces for the last 4 months now. But I am finally able to start going to the gym again!

Moral of the story… flip flops, aka thongs. aka slippers, etc. ARE BAD!

So what does all of this have to do with breastfeeding? Glad you asked! Like I said, I gained 60 lbs during my pregnancy and basically haven’t been able to work out, or even walk for that matter, for about 8 months of my 9 months postpartum. BUT thanks to breastfeeding and a good metabolism I lost 60lbs in the first 6 months! No diet, no exercise! While I have lost all of the weight, I am excited to be able to get back to the gym again. My body may weigh what it did pre-pregnancy but it certainly doesn’t look or feel like it did! I have lost A LOT of muscle, especially in my legs which are totally atrophied from lack of use :(

Moral of THIS story, BREASTFEEDING ROCKS!

The first picture is 8 weeks postpartum and the second is 8 months postpartum (hence the 6 months of breastfeeding) I’ll try to remember to come back and up date this after I’ve had some time in the gym.

I’m still working on accepting the stretch marks… But, even with the stretch marks, and the ankle nightmare, I’m pretty grateful for the body I have.



Updated here and here.

Long Hard Road (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Teen Mom, VBAC 10 Comments

I’ve never been perfect. I know this. But for most of my life I’ve been satisfied with my body. As a teenager I had a wonderful body in my opinion. No, I never fit into those size 0 jeans, but I was curvy, had a pretty flat stomach, and all of this was done with no effort. I could pig out all day for weeks on end and end up losing 5lbs. I adored my 36-26-36 hourglass figure.

I got pregnant with my son when I was 18. I absolutely loved it, but my body didn’t. My sedentary lifestyle wasn’t cutting it anymore and I gained a total of 60lbs before all was said and done. I managed to make it until my 8th month before the stretchmarks started coming, but when they did they came on full force. Suddenly I was covered all across my stomach, my hips, my butt, my thighs, and even on the back of my knees and calves. It was horrendous! After having my son I felt anything BUT sexy. And it didn’t help that I had him by c-section, so my confidence in my body was already shot down because I didn’t even feel like a woman anymore.

I lost a little of the weight but the stretchmarks remained behind as reminders of the wonderful little boy I carried for 9 months. Over time I gained more confidence and soon the stretchmarks faded from red to silver. But my body was still foreign to me and I’ve never felt quite comfortable in my own skin since…

Then almost 2 years later we decide to have another child. I kept my weight gain at a good 38lbs, only got a few more stretchmarks, and for the most part was happy that my body wasn’t falling apart again on me. I had a wonderful successful natural VBAC and regained the confidence in my body and how it worked. I wasn’t broken anymore.

But even that lift in spirits over the mechanics of my body still can’t override my dissatisfaction in the way I look. I keep telling myself that I’ve just given birth 2 months ago. That my body is a result of the beautiful children I’ve brought into this world. That I am beautiful. But every time I look in the mirror I see differently. I see the sagging breasts that have nourished my kids. I see the stretched out, saggy, loose, scarred stomach. I’m no longer that 36-26-36 I used to be. Now I’m 39-39-42. I’m fighting a war with myself. I’ll never be like I used to be and that’s fine with me. But I need to be comfortable at least. I can’t go on afraid to be sexual with my husband or avoiding mirrors when I change clothes. This has to stop.

So I’m traveling down a long hard road on a journey to find myself and the confidence that I used to have in my body. I’m not sure where or when I’ll find it, but I’m working on getting healthier and into shape. One day I’ll finally feel like me again and I can’t wait until that day comes….