Belly

Same Weight, Different Body (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 26 Comments

-Age 24, 1 child
-5 months PP

My pregnancy was awful. Since college, I’ve been a pretty healthy person at 5’1 and 145 but I’ve slowly crept up in weight from 120-145 but I feel comfortable at 135. Well, when I graduated from college last year, I discovered that I was pregnant–my boyfriend whom had already talked marriage with and I had only been dating a few months. Well, we got married and I went crazy because of hormones and the first year of marriage and gained a good 40 lbs even though I only probably needed to gain 25. I was crying all the time and yelling at my husband. My midwife said I was hypertensive and chose to induce me almost a week after my due day. The birth was fine and really great, no complications, and I felt very good about everything and I delivered a wonderfully healthy little boy at 7 lbs. 6 oz and I fell in love. We fell in love. And we were all happy.

Now, my self esteem is ruining everything. I knew my husband thought I was heavy when we first started dating and I tried to lose weight and then baby came and that stopped.Now I exercise regularly and eat healthy (when I feel like eating. I force myself to eat sometimes because I am breastfeeding and my little guy needs it). I’m now 142 after 5 months but this isn’t what my body looked like before! I have stretch marks all on my stomach, up and down my thighs and on my breasts. I don’t feel very attractive even though my husband insists he finds me very attractive, more so now than ever (it’s because of the boobs–I had none before my son) yet he hasn’t seen me naked since my first trimester. My insecurities were further exacerbated when I happened to come across some rather suggestive pictures of his long time friend (whom he has had a MAJOR crush on for almost a decade) in his stash of naked ladies. I was sick when i found them. She’s very slim lady and I think he’d love me more if I was slimmer. Now in my head there’s a constant competition over who is more attractive. Intellectually, I know my husband adores me, loves my body, and our life together and he just likes this girl because her personality has made him find her attractive but emotionally, I feel otherwise. I think if I didn’t have stretch marks, longer legs, and a smaller nose he’d love me more and I get so depressed because I’m not that I just don’t eat and stay in bed. I worry further that after I stop breastfeeding and I lose these amazing Ds that he won’t want to have sex with me or find it satisfying because I’ll go back to having my small scant B cup when he’s a man who loves his boobies big.

Some day I’ll feel better about everything, but right now I have other important items that should be on my mind other than feeling miserable and needing to exact revenge on this girl who doesn’t even know I hate her. I know I”m beautiful but some days it’s harder to believe it.

The pictures are me 5 months PP. Note the awful stretch marks.

My Body (Stephanie)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Child Loss, Four or More Pregnancies, Homebirth, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions, VBAC 36 Comments

I have a love hate relationship with my body. I was obese or morbidly obese pretty much all my life, since the time I was 11. At least my mother kept telling me I was fat from that point on. I just lived up to her expectations I guess.

I took surgical measures to finally lose weight and lost 150 pounds and counting. I’ve weighed as much as 325 pounds and as little as 165 pounds. I’m 180 pounds and hoping to get to 150 pounds.

My body has carried 9 children within it, but only 8 survived.

My body has been sliced open to give birth once, and then I took control to give birth 7 more times without surgery. 6 of those births were in the comfort of my own home.

My body has nourished or tried to nourish all of my babies through my now saggy breasts.

My body has been ridiculed and adored. It has been loved and it has been hated. My body provides a safe place for my children to cuddle up on. In the future I hope my body will provide a safe place for other people’s children as a foster parent.

I may not have smooth skin, washboard abs, or perky breasts, but my body has a story because it’s been on a journey and that journey has really only begun.

~Age: I am 36 (1975 birth year)
~Number of pregnancies and births: 9 pregnancies, 1 miscarriage, 1 c/s, 1 hospital VBAC, 5 Unassisted Water Births, 1 Unassisted Home Birth.
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are:
G-12, G-11, B-9, B-8, B-6, G-5, B-3, G-1

Perfectly Imperfect (Blondiebroken)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Piercing, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom 8 Comments

I am a teen mother, I got pregnant my first time having sex at the age of 17. I am now 19 years old and my son is 19 months old. When I was pregnant I had gained around 70-80 pounds and now that I am 19 months P.P. I still have 20 or 25 pounds to lose. It’s hard for me to lose that extra pouch of skin, I just get so jealous seeing these other moms who have a tight body, even after pregnancy. I am ashamed of my stretchmarks, but I am NOT ashamed of my son. It’s summer time now, I still dislike my body, but I am able to show it off when in public and I’m not ashamed of it. I am only ashamed of my body when in private areas, I will not admit my fears to random people and this is a big step for me to post something as personal as this. When I see these ladies on this site posting pictures of themselves and they’re afraid to even wear a low cut shirt, it makes me really sad. A lot of women after pregnancy can’t get back to pre-pregnancy size and it is a sad thing but it’s also a new step in your life that not many other women(those without children)will ever accomplish, you have :) don’t be ashamed of the marks. I just wanted to say that even with a child, you can still be sexy and show it off. I have the new form that I am gonna have to live with, whether I like it or not. One day I do hope to love my body 100% of the time.

1st picture-Before pregnancy
2nd picture-41 weeks pregnant
3rd picture-After son was born <3 4th picture-After pregnancy; Stomach from side 5th picture-Close up of my stomach and stretchmarks 6th picture-At the beach and in a bikini 7th picture-My son <3 Age: As stated above, 19. Number of pregnancies and birth: 1(for both) The age of your child, or how postpartum you are: 19 months old and 19 months P.P. [gallery]

Follow Up, A Year After Childbirth (Ann)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 17 Comments

Previous post here.

When I read over my previous submission from a year ago, my stomach clenches and my chest feels tight. I sounded so sad and hopeless, like pregnancy was an entry into a beauty contest that I had already lost. I have almost zero pictures of me and my baby when she was very young because I was so uncomfortable with my appearance and I will always regret that. I wish I could go back in time and say “Stop wallowing and take some damn pictures with your baby!”

I worked extremely hard in the following months to lose the 70lbs I gained during pregnancy. Strapped my daughter to my chest in a carrier and walked around the neighborhood as often as I could, followed a strict diet and did strength training in my living room when my kid fell asleep. It was tough but I’m stronger than I have ever been because I now have a reason to be healthy and not just skinny. I’m the first to recognize that I was relatively lucky in the skin department and admit that I sometimes use self-tanner/push-up bras to conceal my “flaws”, but no diet or exercise regime will ever erase the stretchmarks from my hips and thighs or lift my boobs back to their starting position. Obnoxious people in my life still have some less than flattering comments but I am usually OK with rocking a bikini because I earned these abs AND these stretchmarks.

Anyway- over the last year, my happiest memories have never been related to my outfit or my weight. The best days were the ones when I forgot about my appearance and just spent time with my kid.

First pic- six months after birth
Second pic- 11 months
Third pic-my guns from carrying an infant

Hating My Body (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Mothers with Health Complications, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 17 Comments

2 Births
6 weeks Postpartum

Hey everyone. First of all let me just say I LOVE this website. It helps to see everyone else is struggling with their body image and acceptance just like I am.

I have had 2 awesome kids. I have a 3 1/2 year old daughter and now a 6 week old son. I got ZERO stretch marks with my first pregnancy and with my second ugh!!! I got them in the worst possible place, the ones on my sides I couldn’t care less about, those are never seen and they are expected where they are. The ones on my chest are terrible, they are deep and none of my clothes will work anymore because of how high up they are on my chest. I have a hard time being intimate with my husband and although he wont admit it, I think it bothers him. I had the perfect perky C size breast before my daughter and they were just lovely. I never could have imagined the pancake stretch mark things I have now. I am thinking about a breast lift or augmentation… or both!? I also am considering laser treatment on my stretch marks but right now I am now well so it would be really hard. I am happy about my stomach size though, especially since I am unable to exercise due to a autoimmune disorder I have which causes me to be almost completely bedridden most of the time. I think that’s why I obsess about my body, I am so un-happy about my life. I have to have help with my kids because I cannot take care of them by myself. There is no treatment for what I have either so I am stuck feeling/living this way for God knows how long. Both of my kids were unplanned and we were using birth control as well. I am SO happy I have them though, they truly keep me going and get me through each day. I just wish I could keep the body I had before with the kids I have now… that’s life though.

Updated here.

I feel like a stranger in my own skin! (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 11 Comments

I am 24, and I really dislike my body! I don’t feel like the same person,I feel like a stranger in my own skin! It is always on my mind. Its my saggy breasts that feel “deflated!”and my striped jelly belly. I hide my belly, my butt, my thighs, almost everything from my husband and I am absolutely terrified I will always feel that way! My husband says I am beautiful, but I cant see it at all! I need to lose about 50 lbs I was PP 125lbs (5’4”) and currently struggling to get under 170lbs. To make matters worse My husband is an ex marine and a bodybuilder! He has a near perfect physic! I feel like I don’t match up with him anymore! When I am pregnant I watch my body change into an alien while his just slowly improves! Its not fair! My husband says he is happy and he proves it, but it is still in the back of MY mind that he deserves a better looking wife! Any advice on how to love yourself again?

~Age: 24
~Number of pregnancies and births:2 Pregnancies : 2 Births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 3 years, 5 months Boys!

First Picture is Before I had any Pregnancies and The second and third picture is 5 months Post Pregnancy with my second.

(Un)expected Miracle (Proudmama)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 8 Comments

Previous entries here and here.

Age: 31
Number of pregnancy and birth: 1
Age of child/months postpartum: 20 months

I’ve been meaning to post an update for a while.

I realized the other day that the reason I hadn’t was because I was waiting for a miracle. I kept waiting for that day where I would wake up without that extra skin and that belly button drowning in wrinkles. Without the abdominal muscle separation that keeps me away from wearing certain type of clothes. So that I could post: “See, if you wait x amount of months, your body goes back to pre-pregnancy shape!” Not quite. Not for me anyway.

But I did take pictures a few days ago with the intend of updating and telling you that my body hadn’t changed much, but upon further examination it has. The changes are more subtle that I expected but while comparing these pictures with the 11months post-partum pictures, there are definitely less wrinkles and I think my shape has overall improved. It might just be because I’ve gained some confidence or because after 19 months of breastfeeding my breasts look like their old self again. It might very well be an optical illusion caused by lighting and a slight tan…But the important thing is that I’m able to look at myself and think, “You know what, I don’t look too bad at all.”

See the thing is, a miracle did happen, it just wasn’t the one I expected. My baby who at 11 months was just learning to stand on her own…well she isn’t quite a baby anymore. She’s this precious beautiful 20 month old little girl who’s running everywhere, getting into everything and talking up a storm. I’m in awe of her everyday. Every new word, every new skill is a miracle in itself. And while re-discovering the world through her eyes, I can’t help but see myself the way she sees me. And how can I not then think that my motherly shape is beautiful. She still loves to lovingly pat my belly (and now she actually says belly while doing so.) She still occasionally will lift my shirt to see if the breasts that nourished and comforted her for so long are still there. But now she just smiles and lay her head on my chest, “no boobies”, she says. Because she is “a big girl.”

My body might never be what it used to be and it might take me a long time to be confident enough to rock a bikini. But what it did by bringing my daughter into this life was miraculous. And whenever my little girl stops whatever she’s doing and runs over to give me a kiss, it really does remind me of what truly matters.

PS. I just wanted to let you know that after I sent the update, my husband and I found out we are expecting baby #2. We are ecstatic! And although a part of me does worry about how it will affect my body, it really is nothing compare to how blessed I feel to have been given the chance to experience motherhood a second time. I will keep you posted!

Updated here.

I Got My Second Miracle (Michelle)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 1 Comment

Original entry here.

Age: 26
Number of pregnancies: 5
Number of births: 2
Ages of children: 3.5 years, 2 months

Right around 9 months ago I posted my story… I was 6 weeks pregnant and scared as hell of losing another baby. I am happy to report that our second beautiful princess was born may 10th, 1.5 hours into my 37th week of pregnancy. i went to the hospital about 8:00 pm because of pain in my old csection scar… Imagine my surprise when they hooked me up to the monitor and we found out I was having contractions regularly every 2-3 minutes lasting around 40 seconds… I was given two bags of I.V. fluids initially to try to stop the contractions and at 12:04 AM was told I would be having a repeat csection at 1:00 am because i was in labor. Our daughter was born at 1:35 am weiging 7 lbs 13 ounces (big 37 weeker) and 18 inches long. She had some fluid in her lungs so was in the nursery for about 4 hours, but was healthy (aside from a minor kidney issue which we already knew about). We were able to take her home two days later. She is on a daily antibiotic for her kidney issues and we will find out soon if she will need surgery to fix the issue or if they will let her try to outgrow it. Our oldest is an amazing big sister who loves the crap out of “her baby.”

Picture 1: me 36 weeks and 5 days pregnant (2 days before having baby)
Picture 2: my beautiful little princesses
picture 3: me 3 weeks post partum
pictures 4-7: me 8 weeks post partum

Momma of Twin Girls (Danica)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Twins 18 Comments

First off I’d like to state that the first picture posted is of me at 37 weeks & 2 days pregnant… it is also the day right before I gave birth to my twins so it gives you a nice glimpse as to how large my belly was. The second picture is of myself 7 weeks postpartum :) (7-14-2011) I am quite happy with how my belly is recovering and I am very secure with how my belly looks. I was able to deliver the twins vaginally which is what I wanted which also made recovering much smoother. The final picture is, of course, of me and my lovely twin girls!! Before I got pregnant I weighed 117 lbs. During the pregnancy my total weight gain was 53 lbs. I am now down to 132 lbs. I really enjoyed being pregnant and was able to embrace it after the first trimester. The first trimester was rough as I experienced harsh morning sickness and horrible fatigue. Once the second trimester hit, though, everything was great! I am definitely a very proud mother of two healthy beautiful fraternal twin girls!! :D

~Age: 23
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregnancy; twins
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 7 weeks postpartum as of 7-14-2011