The Before, During, and After of My Belly (Anonymous)

age 28
number pregnancies: 1 pregnant 25 weeks with next

I have always been pretty active and fit, I was 26 when I got pregnant with my son, it was unexpected and my husband and I had only been together for 6 months at the time. I tried and tried to avoid the stretch marks but I already had a ton of old ones from when I went through puberty so I knew it was a lost cause.

The angry little marks showed up around 37 weeks and I decided that I would document the changes in my belly from the end of pregnancy to immediately following the birth, to a couple weeks after to 2 years after to see how my body recovered. The marks do fade but never go away and you learn to live with them, I got a higher cut bikini to hide the old marks the best I can but I really don’t care anymore.

I am now 25 weeks pregnant with my second kid and wonder what will happen this time around, I’m sure I’ll be sad initially but I will look and see that the scars fade and life goes on. =)

picture 1 is of me a few months before getting pregnant
picture 2 is me the day I went to the hospital, the marks are hidden by the size of the belly!
picture 3 is an hour after birth while laying in the hospital bed
picture 4 is two weeks after
Two weeks
2 years after
Pregnant 25 weeks

Still not the same, but trying to feel OK. (Jessica L)

Going through my pregnancy and having my daughter was an experience I will never forget. Not only was I extremely happy I was also concerned the whole time. I did most of it on my own. My husband left for Afghanistan when I was six months pregnant in Oct. and just got back last week. He got to see the birth through skype and lots of pictures of our baby girl but never of my belly. Since he never saw the stretch marks with my belly actually stretched out he had no idea how many I was going to have when he got home and I was really nervous about what he would say. I’ve never been really skinny. I’m 5’9 and big boned so I have a more athletic structure and always played a lot of sports. I’ve always had my curves and learned to absolutely love them.. Now I have curves still but I also have this belly that partly hangs over my pants and I have thighs that I am still working to get down. When my husband saw he was more intrigued than anything else and didn’t make me feel bad about them at all but I still feel ugly to him. Some days I feel amazing and will dress up and others I feel like I could be doing better and that’s when I just curl up on the couch and watch netflix all day. I just want to be okay with my body and not feel like everyone is judging me when I know I’m the only one.

1st picture-8 months pregnant. Had my girl 1.5 months later- she was 2 weeks later
2-3- belly
4-My little girl getting held by her dad for the first time.

~Age: 20
~Number of pregnancies and births:1 and 1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 4 months PP

Struggling to accept my new body. (Anonymous)

Age-21
# of pregnancies & births- 1
9 months post-partum

It’s been 9 months since I had my beautiful little girl & while I love her with all my heart I can’t seem to accept my new body. I was 120 pounds before I got pregnant with a perfectly flat stomach. I had gestational diabetes during my pregnancy and was 180 the day I had her. I am 135 now but cannot seem to lose the mommy belly. I find myself comparing myself to all my friends that had babies and have perfectly flat stomachs & I honestly am embarrassed at times to go in to public around people who knew what I looked like before. Shopping for clothing is discouraging and frustrating. I feel like a nuisense to my boyfriend and family and can tell they are annoyed with my constant downing on myself about my body. It’s just hard to accept that this is my body now. I keep waiting for my stomach to shrink back down but some days I honestly think its only getting worse Thank you for letting me share with you ladies sometimes it feels better to get it all out.

The picture I included is of my stomach 9 months post-partum (now)

Where is my Self-Confidance? (Anonymous)

I am 24 years old. I have two children, 2 1/2 and 9 months old now. I met my husband back in 2007, he deployed for a year and then we began dating in July 2008. After three months we moved in together and after 8 months I was pregnant. It was unplanned as I was on birth control. I in no way will ever regret being pregnant at a young age. I had to give up college & much a of a social life but it was all worth it.

I had a massive weight gain with my first pregnancy, starting weight 138 and the day I gave birth I was 200 pounds. I had Preeclampsia by the end of my pregnancy and was induced 2 weeks early. 12 hours of labor and my baby girl was here. I’ll never forget that day.

Weight coming off with my first pregnancy seemed easy, I tried breast feeding for a month which I think helped in my weight loss. By a month with no working out, just eating right and drinking plenty of water, I lost 35 pounds of my baby weight. Then another 10 more pounds when I started working out a month before my wedding, which was just 5 months after the birth of my daughter. After my wedding, I just kind of let my body go. My husband loved my body, and I didn’t look awful but I still felt i did. Most depressing thing is having a baby who is 5 months old looking like i gave birth yesterday and then seeing a mom who is a tooth pick with a newborn. I guess some women are lucky?

My husband and I decided we wanted our children close together and so we started trying when my daughter was 6 months old. Nothing happened for months….but then tragically I lost my father when my daughter was 10 months old and for a month I just got depressed, lost hope of getting pregnant, knowing my father wouldn’t be here to see any more grandchildren.

When my daughter was a year old my husband and I discovered I was pregnant! We were so happy, I felt like it was a blessing from god. My depression got better, I accepted the death of my father and lived life as much as we possibly could as a family.

My weight gain with my second pregnancy was much less than with my first. I was 160 when I got pregnant with the second and when I gave birth to my son I weighed 195. The day I gave birth to my son, my mom couldn’t be there with me because she had to put my grandma into hospice who was diagnosed with cancer a month before my Dad passed away. So my depression just seemed to sky rocket. Not having my Dad with me, not having my Mom by my side and soon to be losing my only grandma left.

Two weeks passed and my grandma lost her battle with cancer.

Maybe I am a just weak minded person, I never thought I was. Depression took over me…at my 6 week check up my husband came with and unknowingly told my dr. that I was battling with depression and I needed something to help. I have always been strong and felt that taking depression pills made me weak, unstable and psycho.

It took a good month before I noticed a change.

I shouldn’t use my depression as an excuse to why I haven’t lost a lot of weight or fixed my body but I am so ashamed of how I look that I hate going out of the house. I don’t like being around old friends who haven’t gone through the childbearing process.

I have never been okay with the way I look, my sister called me fat all the time while growing up and sadly it has just stuck with me. My sister weighs less than 100 pounds and she also had a baby. So seeing her being so skinny a week after she had her son makes me feel horrible.
After my son was born, I got the implanon birth control. I in no way wanted to get pregnant until I have finished college and could fully help my husband support our family.

I was on it for four months, depression worsened, headaches were awful, and I had my period for 4 straight months. My husband and I had no sex life which was hurting our marriage by the day. I decided enough was enough and I was getting it out. A week later I felt amazing, my period stopped, my sex drive sky rocketed and my husband and I got a long amazingly and still do to this day.

We used condoms ever time we had sex, one night we didn’t have one and used the stupid pull out method…..which resulted in my getting pregnant with our “3rd Child”

We were shocked, scared and many other things. We weren’t financially ready to have another or mentally ready. Children take a lot of time work etc…..

After accepting we were having another, we started thinking of names, etc. I was 9 weeks pregnant and started cramping and spotting, called the dr. knowing it wasn’t normal.

Went in for blood work and ultrasound. Seeing the baby, I knew something wasn’t right, it was measuring 6 weeks when I was actually 9. So we had to meet with the dr. She told us we were going to miscarry. We were devastated, it’s been two weeks & I am still going through the miscarriage. I hope to be done soon.

I’ve been tired, feeling depressed, feeling I look disgusting….. I want to feel better soon.

9 months later after the birth of my son, I weigh 164. My goal is to weigh 140 again…. I have been walking/running which makes my days so much better.

This website gave me so much encouragement to face my body. Seeing other mothers in this world who struggle with the same body issues has made me feel better about myself, that I am not a lone. Thank you to all!

Nobody knows beauty until they have created children :)

I should add that before I had kids my bra size was 36 b now after two kids I wear a 36 DD…. That itself is hard to deal with, my boobs aren’t feeling young and perky anymore

Age: 24
Pregnancies: 3
Births: 2
Daughter is 2 1/2
Son is 9 months
9 Months pp
Vaginal Births, cellulite & some stretch marks

1st Picture: Me the summer before getting pregnant ( Brunette in black swim suit) Thought I was fat then.
2nd Picture: Me on the left the month I got pregnant (138 pounds)
3rd Picture: 5 months after my first child was born, my wedding day 150 pounds.
4th Picture: Me with my daughter 6 months after she was born
5th Picture: My stomach and thighs today 165 pounds
6th Picture: My breasts & stomach today
7th and 8th Pictures: Side views of my stomach
9th Picture: Thighs.

My stretch marks are worse on one side than the other. I have tried everything they make for stretch marks and nothing has helped. I do not tan anymore which I am sure helps with them looking less visible?

Trying to Cope (Claire-Bee)

ok so I’m a 24yr old mother of two, a 3 1/2 yr old and a 21month old. Both c-sections and both almost 10lbs each. It has been a rough journey to start. I was a size 9 with amazing abs. With my first I tried every cream on the market still got stretch marks. Bad ones they bleed towards the end. Now 21 months postpartum and working out like crazy, I realize those abs I once had will never show again. Just saggy stripped skin. I’m trying to be happy everyday that bathing suit season approaches but its hard knowing at 24 I’m going to be stuck in a one piece all summer. Good think my babies are healthy and beautiful, probably what gets me through.

* I have my 30in waist pre-pregnancy picture.
*my first pregnancy 38 weeks along with hubby
*my second pregnancy 39 weeks along with hubby and daughter
* my current 21month postpartum belly. 15lbs from my before weight.

Am I Really the “National Average?” (Misty)

Am I really the “National Average?”
Height: 5’8”
Weight: 205lb

I just found out that the new U.S. National Average for women’s sizes is 14-16 (up from 10-12). That puts me right in the national average at a size 14 jeans/dress. But, what does that really mean?

At almost fifteen months postpartum I feel like I should not look the way I do. I walk around the wall hiding most of my body behind a fluffy (and comfortable!) sweater and my daughter’s stroller because all I see are thinner, tanner, smoother looking women staring back at me. When I order something in the food court I feel like all their eyes are on me; I feel like they whisper, “OMG Becky, she is so fat! Look at her… I can’t believe she is ordering that! Eat a salad you tub-o-lard!”

I should say up-front that I was never thin. My entire adult life (aka when my body stopped growing up and started growing out at 16) I have been a size 10+. The lowest I have weighed is 174lb and this put me in size 8 jeans (and I mean size 8 at Old Navy in stretch… which is really like a size 12 anywhere else). When I got pregnant in 2010 I was 196 pounds. Prior to having my daughter this weight did not look all that bad on my size 5’8” frame. I have always gained all of my weight in my thighs, butt, and arms. My stomach, despite my being “overweight,” has always remained very flat.

Flash forward to my postpartum body and I now gain all of my weight in my stomach, hips, and face. My legs seem to stay roughly the same and my waist is still less than 32 inches around. But my stomach and love handles absolutely hate me and have waged war on my physique.
I chose to do an extreme protein shake diet when my daughter was five months to when she was around ten months and I lost 45 pounds. I went from 225 pounds to almost 180 pounds. I dropped pants sizes and I felt like I looked normal. I stopped dieting so intensely and the instant I began a normal calorie diet I gained 25 pounds back. I now feel like I am disgusting again and again with every look in the mirror but no matter what I do I cannot drop the weight.

SOAM’s website has shown me that everyone has problems with their body post-baby. I see these other women and I think of how beautiful they all look, even when some of them are exactly my size. Lately, instead of focusing so much on losing weight and inches, I have been trying to eat healthier options (100% whole wheat instead of “wheat,” more fresh fruits/vegetables, less salt) and I go to the YMCA to swim. As a side note, the YMCA is a great place. Because of its friendly atmosphere I have not ever felt judged there and every woman looks like me!

A final note: We are all beautiful. We created a human and we should appreciate our bodies for the miracles they are!

There is hope to loving your postpartum body. (Amanda)

My name is Amanda. I’m 24 years old, married for 5 years, and a mother of a beautiful 2 year old little boy. I have been very self conscious since probably the first 4 months during pregnancy. I gained a tremendous amount of weight. I am 5’4 – 5’5.and went from 135 to 193! I may have weighed more than that by the time I delivered though. After I had my son, I was severely depressed and hated my body. I didn’t want to leave my house, or be seen by anyone. I had stretch marks, huge thighs, big butt, you name it, I had it all. My weight did not just “fall off”.People were always commenting on my weight and it made me even more depressed, although I’m sure they didnt realize that they were truly hurting my feelings. I forgave them, but I used their words as my motivation. It was time to get serious!! So about 4 or 5 months ago, I started dieting and exercising. Zumba videos online daily, crunches, side bends, squats etc. and here I am now..2 years later.. Im feeling ALOT better.. I am now down to 131 pounds(a little less than pre-pregnancy) YAY :) My hips are bigger, and my body has changed quite a bit from pre-pregnancy, and Im much curvier.BUT I am learning to LOVE my new body everyday :)

1st pic- me, front view, 2 years postpartum
2nd pic- side view, 2 years postpartum
3rd pic- me 2 weeks, post partum. Had only lost about 10 pounds at this point.
4th pic- me pre-pregnancy, with clothes
5ht pic- me, 2 years post-partum, with clothes

The Road Map of California (Miss Jones)

I got pregnant young; I guess not as young as some mothers I know, but 18 is still a child in my mind. I was ready though. I had been forced to grow up quickly because of home-life circumstances. When I got pregnant I was a nice 120 pounds. I had a nice taught and tanned body. My breasts were perfect perky size C orbs. I am only 5’3″, so I am by no means a big girl. I have never thought of myself as petite, but I have been told by many people that I am. So there you go.

I gave birth to my son in October of 2004. I was then 19 years old. Who knew I would grow such a large child! My son stretched me beyond capacity. I applied vitamin E directly. It was sticky oil I applied all over my body three times per day. Palmer’s pregnancy butter was a favorite as well. I thought I was doing it right. I knew I would be one of those women that bounce back; you know with no signs of a child on my body. I knew I would breastfeed. There was no other option; that is what your breasts are for. When I was about six months pregnant, I couldn’t see my feet, or the underside of my belly obviously, and my aunt burst my bubble by notifying me I had several large red stretch marks creeping and crawling up my protruding belly. I was devastated. I put on even more products daily to help to avoid them becoming any worse. No use. My son was very large. I was not able to birth him because he was stuck in my pelvis. I am small, he is large; go figure. I had to undergo a cesarean birth after eleven hours of labor. I was so upset. The recovery process alone was almost enough to make me want to avoid another pregnancy, EVER. He was born at 9 pounds 4 ounces and was 22 inches. My breasts grew from the small C to a DD almost larger. I produced more milk than my son even needed. I then wore not a size five jeans but a size ten. That was a little disheartening. My belly was nothing but a stretched out balloon of hanging skin. I finally began referring to it as the road map of California; I mean with all the stretch marks crossing and meandering in and out with each other all over my abdomen, it resembled the complex road systems of a large state like California. My husband at the time still found me attractive and beautiful, but I did not. When my son weaned at ten months I gained even more weight because I continued to eat as though I was breastfeeding. I finally peaked at a size 14 and knew, for my own peace of mind, I needed to lose some weight. God bless South Beach!

My marriage failed. When my son was two I found myself a single mother. I met my second husband when my son was three. He loved my body. I thought he was crazy. I had completely saggy and deflated breasts. While I was back to a size 5, my belly never saw the light of day again. It was an embarrassing representation of what my son had done to my body. I had also discovered I had stretch marks in my vaginal area and on my pubis. How nice and attractive. Even though my body was a beaten and battered leftover of my teenage self, my husband praised it telling me I was a woman. I started to feel comfortable in my own skin.

I became pregnant when I was 24 with my second child; a girl this time. I was so happy. Even though I had thought I would never go through that process of pregnancy again, my husband had made me feel confident and comfortable with the idea. My doctor assured me the baby would be large again. I dreaded the C-section. My husband was actually upset because of the scheduled C-section. He has previous children, and none of them were born this way. He couldn’t understand. Needless to say, I felt less than adequate because of this. In any case, regardless, I was pregnant and would deliver with or without a scar. My doctor encouraged and even recommended a VBAC. So, of course my husband was excited. I was too, because I wanted the chance to birth a child naturally. Because this baby was a girl she was not as big; but still large anyhow. I gave birth to her vaginally in September of 2010. The circumstances surrounding her birth were very trying and miserable. I found out my husband was having an affair the day before I delivered. To make it even worse, the woman, he was in love with, was pregnant by about 15 weeks. It was extremely emotionally draining. Even though the situation was terrible, I welcomed my daughter at 8 pounds 15 ounces and 21 1/2 inches. She was beautiful. No extra stretch marks; my son had paved the way. She tore me though and so my vagina had to be “reconstructed for cosmetic purposes, mostly.” Because of the stress of my marriage, and breastfeeding to boot, I was down to my pre-pregnancy weight in a matter of about 10 days. My breasts were not as large; only a D cup from the C; I produced just enough milk.
My husband and I attempted to reconcile on more than one occasion. From the time of my daughter’s birth until now, we have tried at least six times. We even discussed and attempted to get pregnant a couple of times with no success. I always felt it was probably for the best. However, during a weak moment while visiting him, I became pregnant for the third time.

Currently, I am 29 weeks with another daughter by my husband. This will make my two girls only 20 months apart. I was roughly a size 5/6 and at 130 pounds when this pregnancy surprised me. My breasts are again filling with milk and only one cup size bigger. I will welcome her in July of this year.

I have learned to love my body through the processes of pregnancy and postpartum. I am a woman. Regardless the number of women I know who have had multiple pregnancies and have no stretch marks, I do, and I cannot change it. My road map adds character. I can look at my leather-like belly and smile knowing I produced three beautiful children. Now that I am again a single mother with my third miracle on the way, I can appreciate the fact that I was able to grow and protect such a perfect being inside my body; my breasts, those deflated leftovers of a time passed, nourished them and gave them the gifts God intended. While I will ensure I am back at a healthy weight after the birth of this daughter, I will not kill myself attempting to look modelesque. I am perfect in my own skin. I am a woman and I am a mother. There is nothing better than knowing I am able to work my body the way God intended. Here is to the woman; the vessel of one of life’s most amazing blessings and miracles. Embrace your body and love yourself. If you cannot, who can?

Pregnancies shouldn’t be this difficult. (Shelby)

Are you ready for this?

Okay, so I was a Virgin until I met the father of my children, I was 18, he was 21.. We wore condoms religiously until it broke one time and after i didnt get pregnant we really didnt worry. So, a year goes by and we just thought maybe one of us was reproductively broken in a way of words. BOY WERE WE WRONG! I got pregnant with our son, whose now 20 months old close to our 2 year anniversary, it seems nice except, the father wanted to just be wasted and not be there for me thru my pregnancy. I lost 19lbs the first trimester from the horrible constant all hours of the day vomiting. He never really was connected with me like I wanted him to be. I can count on one hand how many times he whillingly touched my stomach to feel our son kick and it tore me apart inside. 2 months after I had our son my boyfriend was apparently talking to other women bc I ended up having an episotomy from hell, cut all the way to the side of my poor butt hole, couldnt sit for a month and i was mad b/c I put my body thru hell, I feel like I ruined myself for a man who just wanted to use me for his own pleasure and giving him children and not bothering about how i felt about it all. I was 19 when i got pregnant and 20 when I had our son. Well once we could have sex again things seemed to change as horrible as it sounds, but we ended up breaking up after he tried to mount a supposeable friend on new years.. I gained 40 lbs after i left him and moved back to my home town, well I missed the bastard and we got back together after me taking care of our son by myself for over 6 months.. when my son was 10 months old we conceived our daughter again dispite my constant urges to wear condoms, he would literally rip them off while we were having sex. So i was very depressed when I conceived my dauther, then we found out she had a dialated ventricle in her brain, it was HELL going to the specialist 2 hours from home, and on top of everything he left me when i was pregnant b/c he is a meth addict.. he came around me and my son when he was on it, he hung out with this girl i used to be friends with and she taught him how to shoot up, I caught her in our bed, him in the kitchen going to get a spoon to OD himself, If i hadnt have walked in the house to catch them b/c he wasnt answering his phone after our son was hurt, he wouldnt me here. well none the less i called the cops on him. he went to jail sobered up got bailed out, moved in with his mom. relapsed when he moved back and i was the one AGAIN to find the needles in the garbage, I went thru going to the specialist on my own, living out of boxes sleeping on a couch with my son at my mothers house, being used by the man I devoted my entire life and body to, worrying what possible std i couldve contracted weither it be hepatitis or herpes b/c of the girl we has shooting up with is the town WHORE… I wanted to literally die, to not give birth to my daughter b/c she didnt deserve to live in a world like this.. well I struggled and struggled and didnt eat for days at an end b/c of everything that was going on.

thankfully I made it thru everything, had my daughter, tore slightly, my vagina is not the same, my stretch marks from my first pregnancy only grew a little on the top, but now my skin sags im terrified to lose weight b/c i dont want to sag further. The father of my children came clean with everything he was doing, deleted all the druggies out of his life, removed all the paraphenalia from the house, is waiting to be charged with a possible felony, was there for hte birth of our daughter, IM BEYOND HAPPY HE WORE CONDOMS WHEN HE SLEPT WITH OTHER WOMEN and didnt give me anything. im struggling with my body image and the constant horror of everything thath append, the feeling of betrayl, NO PREGNANT WOMEN SHOULD HAVE TO SUFFER LIKE I DID.. There is sooo much more to my story, I deal with overwhelming Panic attacks and Flashbacks of walking in on him and her and the look he gave me and all the lies he told me for nearly 9 months, the persistant presence of other women he was interacting with and making me feel like i was there to give him children, to do what he wanted and that he deserved to have his pie and eat it too along with some cake on the side, thinking about it disgusts me.. We are going to go to counseling, but everything thats happened.. its all too much to bare..

Im 6ft tall, before my son I was 190 average, after my son i ballooned (or atleast i felt that way) to over 240, size 36 pant, none of my pre pregnancy pants fit. My daughter I was 220 pregnant (massive weight loss due to major depression) After I had her I lost over 30 lbs from delivery alone, now Im back up to 220 post pregnancy, I do not love myself, Im horrible depressed, If it werent for my children id honestly be 6ft under.. I dont know how to be happy anymore, I cry every night before bed and the boyfriend is to the point where he doesnt want to talk about it bc he has a bad heart (genetic & drug induced) he has been having mini heart attacks @ only 25 and sometimes i wonder if it would just be better to let him find someone else to make him and happy and my children me and my stretch mark riddled body just go make another life & me be a single mother because I will NEVER let another man get close to me to hurt me like he has.

Ill include some pictures taken the day before I had my daughter, I had cried the whole day & my neighbor lady took them and insisted I smile…

~Age: 22
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2 Pregnancies, 2 births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 20 Months boy, 6 weeks girl PP 6 weeks

(Lisa)

I have a 6 month old son, first pregnancy.

My issue is this- I am over 200lbs. I had gained some weight before I got pregnant (met my now husband and became comfortable with him,slacked off and ate things I usually didn’t). Got pregnant, was so sick the entire time, I ate what I could. I did not eat alot at all, I felt like there was no room, and I got filled up so easily, but I did eat, and I craved protein 95% of the time. By the time all was said and done, I was about 250 lbs. NEVER been this heavy. Ever.

I am having trouble getting motivated to lose the weight. I am just so tired after work. I get up with him in the middle of the night also to take care of my son. My husband works alot, is very supportive, but I know he does not want a fat wife, and I don’t want to be one, I need to be healthy for my son. I do not feel sexy at all. Honestly, I don’t know how he has sex with me now. I was an exercise junkie before, worked out everyday. I don’t see the point if I get in even one day. I don’t eat too badly, but I eat what is in the house. Don’t even want to cook. I sound like a real lazy person- I do work full-time. Went back six weeks after having an emergency c-section.

I feel wound up all the time. If I don’t get things prepared for the next day when I get home, I will have even less time the next morning. I fall asleep before 8pm too. I know this sounds like complete crap, but I cannot fit into any of my pre-pregnancy clothes, don’t recognize the person I see in the mirror. Yes, I am so grateful my son is healthy and happy. I just want to go back to where I was, I can handle the stretch marks, I really didn’t get that many of them. What I did end up with is a huge belly- see pic.

I just wish someone could say some words that will jolt me into movement. I can’t be the only person to feel this way?