Belly

32 weeks pregnant and stretchies have started… (Toni)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 2 Comments

Age – 24
Currently 32 weeks pregnant with #1

When I first discovered I was pregnant I became increasingly curious about predicting what my body would be like during and after pregnancy, and so I started to stalk this site. Although I wasn’t overweight when I fell pregnant, I have always been very self-conscious in my body as I was overweight during early high school and had stretch marks from puberty. I stocked up on Bio Oil and Cocoa butter, but knowing my mum and sister didn’t get any during their pregnancies, I was hoping genetics would save me.

I am so embarrassed to say that I was/am petrified of stretch marks and constantly worried that I am never going to feel confident or sexy again. I know that the little human growing inside of me is worth every mark, but it’s so hard to see the bigger picture. I have been with my Boyfriend for 7 years, and I love him so much. I know that he will still love me post-pregnancy, but I am scared that he won’t be attracted to me any more. My stretchies have only just begun and I know they will get bigger and bring friends :D over the next 8 weeks. I just hope that I can ‘get over it’ and enjoy the rest of my pregnancy.

Pictures of me now at 32 weeks from both sides and a picture of me at 10weeks pregnant.

Toni xox

Updated here.

My belly, the first home of my biggest blessings… far from flawless, but I love it anyway. (Julie)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Child Loss, Four or More Pregnancies, Gestational Diabetes, Hyperemesis Gravidarum, Polyhydramnios, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 5 Comments

-24 years old
-6 pregnancies, 5 children. (1 loss at 9 weeks gestation.)
-J, 7 years old. P, 6 years old. K, 5 years old. G, 3.5 years old. L, 2 years old.

– Hello ladies! Thank you for allowing me the oppeortunity to share my own story. :)

My husband and I found out we were expecting 6 months before we planned to marry. Our relationship is a little unique. He is 5 years older than I, we have been together since I was 14 and lived in our own home since I was 15 & he was 20. I was 16 when we found out I was pregnant, April 20th 2004. We had been planning to wed, with the blessings of my parents, October 16th 2004. 2 months after my 17th birthday. When we found out we were expecting.. I was 5’1, very lean and toned, and weighed 112 pounds. We did indeed wed on October 17th, with our daughter present in utero. :) My pregnancy with her was for the most part uneventful once I got past the first trimester. The first 13 weeks I suffered from Hypermesis Gravidarum and before I was finally prescribed Zofran for it, I vomited all day, every day, and felt awful. I frequently landed myself in the ER because of dehydration. I got down to 108lbs, and that is when they decided to prescribe the Zofran. Later in pregnancy, I developed what they call “polyhydramnious.” This meant I had a lot of extra fluid, for unexplained reasons. Because of this, my stomach grew rapidly and I experienced very sudden weight gain the last few weeks. My last weight before giving birth was 162lbs. Going off 108, I gained 54 pounds. J was born at 38 weeks on December 21st, beautiful and healthy, weighing 7lbs 1oz.

My husband and I knew from the get-go, even being young parents and newly weds, that we wanted a large family. We are both from large families and we wanted the same. So we decided to let go with “not trying, not preventing” as far as our sexual relationship went. Coincedently, I found out I was pregnant for the 2nd time, AGAIN on April 20th, 2005. The EDD was the same as J’s, as well! We were shocked given the circumstances & the fact their dates were exact, but we were ELATED! J was 1 day shy of 4mos old, and I still had a lot of work that needed to be done to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. Obviously, that was going to have to be put on hold. The next month consisted of a lot of blood work, a lot of doctor visits, and a lot of ultrasounds. Unfortunately on May 26th, 2005.. after a month of no growth or change in the embryo, including no heartbeat… we realized the pregnancy was not viable. My midwife scheduled a D&C with the OBGYN at the clinic I went to. On May 27th, 2005, we said goodbye to our Angel that wasn’t mean for this world. We were obviously heartbroken, disappointed, sad, etc. But we had J to keep us busy and we focused on what we had been blessed with, each other and our beautiful daughter.

And then just a few weeks later, mid July, we found out for the third time we were expecting AGAIN! Obviously we were very nervous because of the miscarriage, but thankfully the pregnancy progressed and everything went well. Our 2nd child, a beautiful baby boy, was born also at 38 weeks on April 10th 2006 after an uneventful pregnancy. He weighed 8lbs 1oz and like his sister, was healthy as can be. J was 15 months old when she became a big sister.

Now if I continue to give the run down on all my pregnancies, my story will get ridiculously long… LOL! So I’ll just share the bare minimum from here on out.

#3, our 2nd son, was born on June 24th of 2007. I had polyhydramnios with him as well and gained a massive amount of weight. Because of the severe PH, my water broke at 36 weeks. Even so, K weighed 7lbs 2ozs and other than some jaundice from his premature liver, he was healthy as can be. At the time of his birth, J was 2.5 years old and P was 14mos old.

#4, our 3rd son, was born at 38 weeks gestation on December 18th 2008. G was another uneventful pregnancy, born healthy weighing 8lbs 10ozs. At the time of G’s birth, J was just shy of her 4th birthday, P was 2.5 years old, and K was a week shy of 18 months old.

#5, our 2nd girl, was born at 38 weeks gestation on April 19th 2010. With L, I had what my midwife called “borderline gestational diabetes.” I failed my 1hr Glucose test with her, just as I did with G, but with him I went on the pass the 3hr. With L, I failed by just a few points. I was RIGHT under the “normal” range. Because of this, I had to monitor my blood sugar during my pregnancy and eat a semi-diabetic diet. At 2 weeks early, L was born weighed 8lbs 15ozs.. 1 oz shy of 9lbs.. and that is AFTER she took a nice pee on me just seconds after she was born. I think it’s safe to say she would have weighed at least 9lbs even if she had been weighed before peeing. They tested her blood sugar shortly after her birth since she was such a good sized baby even 2 weeks early, which is a sign of macrosomia… large baby caused by gestational diabetes. Her blood sugar was absolutely fine… she was just a healthy girl. At the time of her birth J was 5yrs old, P was 4, K was 2 mos shy of his 3rd birthday, and G was 16mos old.

A grand total of 5 pregnancies, 1 loss, and 5 healthy blessings in 5 years and 4 months time. The grand total of the baby weight my uterus held comes to 39lbs, 15ozs! That’s just the weight of the babies.. not to mention the fluid, blood, placenta, etc. Obviously with only 4-8 months between each pregnancy… I didn’t have a lot of time to lose the baby weight, and instead it just kept piling on. I breastfed, but unfortunately I was not one of the lucky mamas who shed the pounds with the help of nursing.

I grew more and more uncomfortable in my own skin as the years went on… and for some reason, I lacked the will power and confidence to get back in shape. Around the time of my daughters 2nd birthday.. I finally became fed up. She hadn’t nursed for quite some time, and I knew it was time to take control of my life and get back to a point whre I could be comfortable with myself. So I got serious, and I decided to make a lifestyle change. At that time, my starting weight was 195lbs. At 5’2. I was morbidly obese. The girl who was always “naturally slender,” was morbidly obese. I know you ladies can imagine how I felt. I visited my family physician, we set up a weight loss plan complete with my goals, and he prescribed me a weight loss aid to help me along. My goal is not to become skinny. My goal is to become HEALTHY and be COMFORTABLE with my body. The body that has done AMAZING things for me and kept the 5 most important people in my life HEALTHY until it was time for them to be born. 12 weeks later I have managed to lose 45 pounds, 13 combined inches (waist, hips, thighs) and 2, ALMOST 3 pant sizes. I am 15lbs from my goal weight, and granted my weight loss has slowed down significantly from what it was in the beginning.. I am still working hard to get there so I can be healthy and feel good about myself… and I can honestly say I grow more and more comfortable with my body each week! The stretch marks do not bother me. The loose skin does not bother me. As I said, my body did the most amazing thing for me… FIVE times. The weight gain, the struggle to lose it… it has all been MORE than worth it. I will never have that tight, perfectly toned, flawless body I had before kids and that is perfectly fine with me. That’s not my goal. I am so proud of myself and my confidence, the way I feel about myself, is better than it has ever been. I am proud of my body regardless of the fact I still have 15lbs to go to my goal (which by the way is on the heigher end of “normal” given me height. But like I said, I’m not trying to get skinny.) and a LOT of toning to do. Fitness and exercise have become an every day part of my life, and it will be even after I hit my goal. It’s something my family and I can do together, and it makes us feel good. The weight loss has been a blessing.. but the biggest blessing of all is my children and I will forever be greatful for the body that carried them and kept them safe during their gestational period…. MY body. <3 Oh, and for the inquiring minds.... no, neither my husband or I got any permanent sterilization. We are using precautions and plan to for a while longer.. but we do intend to welcome at least one more child into our family sometime in the future, assuming it is meant to be and we are blessed again. Just taking a break for now. :) Thanks again for allowing me the opportunity to share my story. :) If you made it through the novel, kudos to you and thanks for reading! (My progress pictures are ready to be updated with the 12th week photos. This is start, 3 weeks, 6 weeks, and 9 weeks. I have lost 5 more pounds since the 9th week photo.) [gallery]

Can’t accept the huge change to my body. (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 18 Comments

I’m 21 years old and my beautiful son is 8 months old. He’s my first. Before I got pregnant I weighed 118-120 lbs. and now I weigh 140 lbs. When I was pregnant the last time i weighed myself was about a week before I gave birth and I was 154 lbs. and about a week after my son was born I got down to 132. I thought wow this is great i’ll be back to my pre-pregnancy weight in no time! But I had to stop breast feeding at about 3 months because I wasn’t producing enough for my little toad! Now i’m back up to 140 or more I guess i’ve been too afraid to weigh myself the past month or so. I went from a small C to a DD while I was breast feeding and now i’m back down to a small C and my breasts are covered in stretch marks and so saggy I feel like an old woman at 21. My stomach doesn’t have bad stretch marks just some under my belly button but i’m still very self conscious about them and I think I look like i’m still pregnant. I hate wearing anything but hanes t-shirts because I feel like someone’s going to ask me when i’m due. I have family that makes fun of my stomach which I know they don’t mean it to be mean but it kills me inside everytime anyone says anything. My husband loves me more than anything and doesn’t care what I look like and I know that but he hasn’t told me i’m beautiful since I was first pregnant which makes me feel so much worse. Today was the first day i’ve let him see me completely naked since I was breast feeding. He told me “You don’t look that bad.” I know he didn’t mean it the way it sounds but my heart dropped to the ground when he said that. I’ve tried excercising but I have something wrong with my hips and if I do anything physical I can barely walk the next day because i’m in so much pain. This started when I was in my second trimester and I would literally have to crawl to the bathroom in the middle of the night to pee because I was in so much pain. The doctor told me it was just my hips moving to prepare for child birth but its been 8 months since my son was born and the pain is still there so I don’t know what to do. It seems like everytime I go to the doctor for anything they look at me and see that yes i’m skinny besides my stomach and i’m young so whatever pain i’m feeling is nothing serious. Well I think if I can barely walk because of dibilitating hip pain something is wrong regardless of my age and physique!! But anyway that’s not why i’m posting on here. I just want to know that i’m not alone and that someone else is going through what I am because I see girls the same age as me or even older looking like they’ve never had kids walking around in bikinis with no stretch marks and beautiful bodies and I feel like a fat freak. And yes I know people are a lot worse off than me but i’m not used to this feeling I have always loved my body and felt very lucky because I come from a family that has a lot of over weight people and i’ve always been so thankful to be able to look like I do but now that I look like this I just feel horrible and feel like everyone is comparing me to how I used to look and thinking i’m fat. I also feel like my husband isn’t attracted to me anymore even though he says he is. Well i’ll stop babbling now and I look forward to your comments! <3 1st picture- my husband and I at our first prom together 2nd picture- 4 weeks pregnant 3rd picture- 31 weeks pregnant 4th-7th picture- me today 8 months postpartum [gallery]

Building self-esteem after husband’s affairs (Joelle)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Butt, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Toxemia, Vulva/Vaginal Damage 20 Comments

Age: 23
Number of Pregnancies and Births: 2 pregnancies, 1 birth, 1 baby in heaven
Age of child and how far post-partum: Isabella 6 months and four days old. I am 6 months and four days post- partum

I found this site from a woman who posted this site on the Birth Without Fear facebook page. I thought how wonderful it was to see other women of all ages post up their pictures of post-partum bodies and share their story on how they felt, whether feeling upset or comfortable in their own skin. Pregnancy has done a lot to our bodies, including mine. I miscarried with my first pregnancy at the age of 18 at 8 weeks along. It took me a while to accept the miscarriage and move forward. After my second pregnancy, if you saw me walking in a tank top and jeans, you’d never guessed I gave birth. I’ve been blessed to lose all the weight; I gained 36 pounds and lost the majority of it when my daughter was born. She weighed 9.7 pounds and 21 inches long. I am only 5’1 and was 95 pounds pre-pregnancy. With her being so big, my belly was stretched to its limit and my body bloated really badly: in my face, my thighs, butt, and legs. By week nine in pregnancy, I could no longer wear my jeans. I automatically knew I was having a girl by week nine since all my friends who had boys could wear their jeans throughout their entire pregnancy and it was my instincts saying “girl.” Not going to lie, that devastated me to not fit in my jeans, so I stuck to dresses and skirts since I had room to stretch those out (did not want to see me go up in pants and it was cheaper). At my 21 week scan, the technician asked me if the midwife got my due date right since my baby was measuring almost 2 weeks ahead of her age and I said yeah, that I even tracked my fertility and ovulation for TTC. Turned out she was just a good size baby because she came four days after her due date, no interventions.

My body went through hell and back with my pregnancy and child birth. I had fallen on my tailbone. I went to the ER over that to make sure my daughter was fine, could care less about my body. My daughter was just fine. The fall caused me to have major back pain for the rest of the pregnancy and especially when she would kick my back or body slammed against it. I had a huge cyst right below my urethra, so sex was impossible as it hurt too much. The doctors refused to remove the cyst for me and it did not even burst while birthing her. I had sciatic nerve problems and bruised like feeling on my skin and muscles all up my ribs from her pushing out my ribs to make room in the last trimester. I started getting stretch marks in early 2nd trimester and by my due date, my butt and thighs looked as if a cat used me as a clawing post. I got a 2nd degree tear during child birth from being told to push with all my might since my daughter’s left shoulder got stuck. Two nurses were doing pelvic pressure on me along with my husband, very crazy experience so I tore horribly from all the hard pushing to get her out. The midwife who delivered my baby at the Naval Hospital (military hospital) stitched me back up but I have some insides kind of on the outside and my vagina just looks bad… Though I loved being able to have her naturally, I’m upset with how my vagina turned out. I asked my husband’s honest opinion on it, he said I’m little bit looser (I’m okay with that) and that it’s even prettier to him. Kind of hard to believe but I try to trust him on that. However, he cheated on me a month after I birthed my daughter and once while I was pregnant, so it’s very hard to trust him on his compliments to me. The only reason I stayed is because he went to rehab over his alcoholism (he cheated while wasted, still not a good excuse) and I want our family to be together. My self- esteem is shot to hell because he cheated on me with an overweight woman with large breasts. I’m opposite; I’m petite with A cup size breasts… I know I’m not ugly, I get other Marines (my husband is a Marine) staring and calling out to me even while I’m carrying my daughter. I just can’t help but feel my body is not good enough for my husband, that I’m not enough.

We’re in marriage counseling, we’ve been working on the marriage. I just can’t help but feel my pregnant body and PP body is not satisfying to him. I’m so terrified to get pregnant again after his affairs. Being able to share this to strangers kind of makes me feel better. Maybe some other women have been in a similar position or not… Just feels good to get it off my chest that I don’t feel good enough for the man I married.

7 Months PP & HATING Myself! (Sarah)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, PPD - Postpartum Depression, Pregnant, Submissions, Toxemia 12 Comments

Age: 21
7 months PP
1 pregnancy

Pre-pregnancy weight: 150
Current weight: About 190

Let me start off by saying that I’ve never liked my body! Before I got pregnant I weighed 150 lbs. About a year before I was pregnant I weighed around 180 and after working as housekeeping I lost 30 lbs. When I found out I was pregnant I was scared for my body! My family has a curse, I swear!, and once us women get pregnant we seem to grow larger and larger by the years. During my pregnancy I got A LOT of stretch marks, which are still bad today. I look like I was attacked by a bear! Anyway, a little over a month before my due date I found out my blood pressure was going up. I ended up going into labor 3 weeks before my due date. The problem was preeclampsia It made since the more I got about it! I gained 10 lbs in 1 week! I remember almost crying when the doctor told me that! I stayed within the 25 lb limit during my pregnancy up until that point. Well, I ended up gaining 60 lbs when I went into labor. After the preeclampsia was gone I did lose 20 lbs the first month my daughter was born because I was so busy and tired that I had no urge to eat. Once I got use to the no sleeping I got my appetite back – which was the worst thing that could have happened!

My husband works nights and he works 7 nights straight, so it’s just me and the baby most of the time. I’m a stay at home mom so it’s very lonely! So lonely that I got bad PP depression, which made me eat away my feelings. At that point I realized how much I did not like myself! I was disgusted at looking in the mirror or putting on clothes! 4 months PP and my depression seemed to go down a lot and I stopped eating when I was bored and lonely. I lost 5 lbs Not a huge deal but it showed I was making progress! Now here I am 7 months PP and I don’t know if my depression has came back but I noticed I eat when I’m bored again! I can not break this cycle! I am soon getting my CNA and I am so excited because I know it will help me get my butt back into shape!

I wouldn’t be so hateful towards myself but I’d had several friends who have babies and they barely gained any baby weight and they lost it within 3 months. I also feel like I’ve let my husband down by not controlling myself and getting so big. Summer’s here and all I want to do is take my little girl swimming for the first time, but I’m terrified of what I’m going to wear and I’m going to be paranoid that people are staring at me. I have to find clothing that covers my stretch marks on my stomach and thighs, which is hard!

I want to learn to love myself. I hate being naked and I hate when my husband sees me naked! I’m in constant fear of my husband leaving me for a better looking women, who is real thin and has no stretch marks, that it stupidly makes me eat even more. He calls me sexy and beautiful everyday but I shrug it off. I don’t believe him. Does anyone else have this problem? How can I ignore all these thoughts in my head? I want to actually feel beautiful. I feel like I went through an amazing journey being pregnant and giving birth that I should have something to show for it besides a huge pouch!

The 3 belly photos are from now. Pregnant belly is of course during pregnancy lol & the one with the pink shirt is my pre-pregnancy weight.

Finally happy with myself; it wasn’t easy, though! (Susan)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 5 Comments

age 26

I have always had issues with my weight, so I didn’t think pregnancy would have a huge effect on my body.

I gave birth to my son via emergency cesarean in September 2005. I quickly realized my stomach was sagging, even at my highest weight my stomach never hung, and my stretch marks were VERY dark.

My breast had always been symetrical, but after my second child, a daughter, was born in September 2010, my left breast started producing milk at a much higher rate. Causing my daughter to nurse mainly on the left side.

By this time I was totally used to my stomach, but the huge difference in breast size took me a long time to get used too.

I recently started blogging about obesity and parenting, and I think your site is wonderful! I have been treated so horribly over the years because of my weight, but the worst came when I tried to join play date groups. Its amazing to see I am not alone!

Finding support in others who understand that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes has helped me so much. My boyfriend has shown me that it doesn’t matter what others say, I am a good mother. I carried two babies 9 months, fed them each for 2 years with my breasts (almost there with my daughter, although we’re practicing self weaning with her), and no matter what I am beautiful.

So now with a 6 1/2 year old and a 20 month old, and a new found self confidence, I’m proud to share my body including my D and B breasts.

Photo 1: 20 months PP with #2 weight 250
Photo 2: 20 months PP with #2 Weight 250
Photo 3: Breasts Left D cup Right B cup
Photo 4: Cesarean scar(had infection after 2nd, but nothing serious)
Photo 5: 20 weeks with #1 weight 182
Photo 6: 37 weeks with # 2 weight 261
Photo 7: My beautiful babies, they make it all worth it

Unhappy and Envious (Danielle)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 24 Comments

23 yrs old. 1 pregnancy/birth. Daughter is now 18 months old

As the second summer after the birth of my daughter approaches, I once again find my self looking at bikini’s and wishing I was able to wear one. Before pregnancy I was 120 lbs and felt wonderful about myself when wearing a bikini. The first summer after my daughter was born (6 months after) I went to try on swimsuits and found myself sobbing in the department store dressing room. Although I have found a little more confidence since then, it’s not enough to even attempt the terrifying task of trying another on. I feel young, I WISH I could wear a bikini, and to be honest I feel to young for the “Mom” one piece, yet my body tells me a different story. I battle daily with the thought “Get your fat ass of the couch and just do it!” or “Who cares what anyone thinks?! Be THAT girl! Just wear it proudly, and love every minute!” Although I wish I were the latter, I just can’t do it. Not to mention the excessive stretch marks I have acquired :/ I know I am not as big as I was at 9 months pregnant (183lbs) and even though my husband says I look good in a bikini, I just can’t help but feel disgusting..

I just want to say thank God for the creator of this site and the women who post! You all have made me realize it’s ok to not be “magazine perfect.” I don’t have to look like Kourtney Kardashian to be beautiful, and even though I will probably always struggle with my self image, I’m not alone.

Three Years Later – Almost (Bryana)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Child Loss, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 3 Comments

Age: 24 (25 in August)
Pregnancies: 3 (2 births, 1 miscarriage)
Childrens Ages: Rayden 6 & Cairo 2 (3 on June 23)
Post Partum: 2 years 11 months

Almost 3 years ago I gave birth to my daughter, and my last child. The last 3 years have been nothing short of amazing and wonderful. I have finally began to rediscover myself and learn on a deeper level who I am aside from being a mother.
I began having kids at such a young age that I never really had a chance to find out who I was, so my new journey of self discovery and meaning has been miraculous and very much a beautiful gift. Although there have been many highs, there have also been lows.
Not even 3 months after having our daughter, my husband and I decided he would have a vasectomy. At the time it seemed the best decision and one we were happy and content with. After being blessed with our 2 children, and suffering 1 miscarriage, it seemed appropriate and a good decision. However, in the last 6 months I have come to realize that our decision had been made to hastily and under the wrong conditions. Our daughter, Cairo, was a very difficult baby. I was running on nearly zero sleep and my hormones were going ballistic. My husband was also in the same boat as me. He was currently laid off from work and was spending every minute with me and our children and was suffering just as much emotionally and mentally as I was. So the decision to have a vasectomy, I believe, was made out of fear and at the completely wrong time.
I now feel that all I want is to have another baby, or at least try. I am, however, torn because of my self discovery. I want to go out into the world and find a job, a career, become a member of society in a way I never have been. We have finally got our feet on the ground and have found a groove we work well within. And I know having another baby would not only turn our world upside down, but it would take just as long, if not longer, to find our groove again. And I was told after my daughter that another pregnancy would not be best on my body. Medically I am not the best candidate for multiple pregnancies, which my body has also proven to me aside from all the doctors.
I am unsure where my husband stands on the situation. But he has began talking about how he “doesn’t feel that we are done having kids”. He believes that in time, despite his vasectomy, that I will become pregnant again. I’m not sure if that is his way of voicing his feelings about it, or if he does just truly feel that if it is meant to be, than it will be.
Either way I leave it in God’s hands. I do believe if it should be than it will be.
I love my family, my babies, and the life we have created together. I look forward to our future, and what awaits us.

Mommy of Three (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 10 Comments

26
Number of pregnancies and births: 3.

I just had my third baby on April 2, 2012. My oldest son is 6, my daughter is 14 months, and my youngest son us 6 Weeks. I have always been a bigger girl. Im 5′ 7 and around 190. I think having my last two only 12 1/2 months apart has really taken a toll on my body. Im weighing in right at 200 now. So ivl have lost 29 lbs so far. I just feel like my stomach is stretched out. I love my kids and know it was all worth it though. Just takes somes getting used to I guess. I just really need some words of encouragement I guess.

First pic I was 39 Weeks preggo
Second pic 5 Weeks PP
third pic another 5 Weeks PP

Will I Ever Be Sexy Again? (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 19 Comments

Age: 23
Number Of Births: 1

I married the love of my life in May of 2011, and we conceived our baby boy on our honeymoon. At that time I weighed 145 lbs at 5′ 4″. I’d never been a skinny girl, but pretty athletic and active. Over the nine months I carried my baby, I gained 40 pounds. 20 more than I’d hoped for. I had beautiful skin and not a single stretch mark… Until I hit my 35th week. Then they spread like wildfire. I was devastated. I did everything I possibly could to prevent them, cocoa butter, massage, body brushing.. but in the end they took over. I had planned for a home water birth, but after 36 hours of labor, and being stuck at 6 cm dilated for 12 hours, I had to go to the hospital. Got an epidural, then 4 hours later with no progress, led to a c-section. Everything went as well as major abdominal surgury could go.. I recovered well and my boy latched on and breastfed wonderfully. My precious baby is the best thing, by far, that has ever happened to me. But the body that I was left with has been really hard for me to deal with.

My stomach, love handles, thighs, and around my breasts were covered in stretch marks, and I felt saggy, floppy, and unattractive. I’ve cried to my husband many times saying how afraid I am that I’ll never be sexy again. Of course he reassures me that he thinks I’m the most beautiful woman ever, but it’s hard to believe that when I see my reflection in the mirror. I hear everyone say stretch marks are a badge of mother-honor.. but that’s no comfort to me. I want my pretty, flawless skin back, and I know it’ll most likely never happen. My breasts have grown 3 cup sizes and with breastfeeding they’re extremely heavy. They feel like they’re sagging like crazy and that makes it hard to be topless during intimate moments with my husband. My legs and butt used to be very tight and toned, but now when I run they jiggle like jello. I know that if I stick with exercising, the jiggle can be fixed, but I’m so afraid that my mid-section and breasts are a lost cause.

I’m not exactly sure why I’m telling everyone my sob story, but I felt like I could relate to alot of women on this site. I realize that almost every mom has issues with her post-baby body, and I’m no exception. Still, I thought this would be good for me to share my experience and show that difference of what I had, and what I have now. My precious baby boy is the best thing in my life and he’s worth every sacrifice and hardship that I’ve gone through . But I just hope someday I can get my body somewhat back so he can have a pretty, fit, and healthy looking mommy that he’s proud of. I want to be a good example to my babies.

Picture #1: Summer before marriage, weight 145
Picture #2: Belly 5 weeks before birth, right before stretch marks plagued me
Picture #3: 11 weeks after birth
Picture #4: 11 weeks after birth (side)
Picture #5: Stretch Mark Areas