Belly

If I Love My Daughter, I Have to Love Myself (Hope)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breastfeeding, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 2 Comments

My name is Hope, I’m 24 years old and I had my first child this July. I had a truly empowering and beautiful natural childbirth at a birth center, and my baby is absolutely gorgeous! For the first couple months after having her, I was very unhappy with my body. I thought that is was gross, abnormal, etc etc. My wonderful boyfriend always told me how beautiful I was, and not in a demeaning sort of way (I think that they whole “I love you because you made our child” this is crap–yeah it’s true, but it also sounds like you’re saying “you’re not actually pretty, but because of our pre-existing relationship I think you are” ), he unequivocally called me beautiful. I’m starting to believe and understand this. I know just how strong I am, and how strong my body is. I pushed out a baby that weighed almost 9 pounds, after about 24hrs of labor, all on my own. I’m a superhero! And if I am going to love my little girl, no matter he size or shape, then I have no excuse but to love myself.

I am now 4 months post-partum, and still 10-15 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight. but my baby and my boyfriend both love the soft mom snuggles that my new body can give them.

I feel for the women who come here to commiserate in their sadness and deflated self-opinions. I think that they are subverting what could be a revolutionary movement, and turning it into something that only serves to reinforce the overly strict ideals of beauty that we are trying to correct! Remember that learning to love yourself starts with positive affirmations– say it even if you don’t believe it!

Body pics are 4mo post-partum, not sure on the BF photo.

The Body I’ve Always Wanted to Change

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 11 Comments

Age:20
Numbers of Births/Pregnancies: 1

I am currently 2 months and 8 days postpartum. I was a tiny girl in high school and even then I always felt fat like I needed to lose weight, and the only time I felt pretty was when I wasn’t eating at all and exercising excessively. Then I got into college and I got confident somewhat, but I still exercised and ate healthy and remained tiny. Well after all the work of becoming confident I fell in love with the man of my dreams and I got pregnant, I wouldn’t change my life for anything and I love my little family but it really knocked my confidence into the ground once I saw my body afterwards. I’m only two months postpartum and was told by the nutritionist that I need to lose 25lbs, (I gained 55 in pregnancy). So not only do I feel like I look fat but I have others telling me to lose 25 pounds! I’m trying to stay positive and tell myself I can do it but I don’t know how to do that with everything going on in my life. My boyfriend says I’m beautiful and that I don’t really look like I changed but I see different. My whole life there has always been something about myself that I’ve wanted to change and I’m tired of that unsatisfied feeling. I want to feel beautiful and look beautiful to others. I want to wear a bikini this summer and have people ask me how I did it! My mom bounced back so well, she had no stretch marks and looked like she didn’t have one child when she actually had 3. I just wish that all women would be defined as beautiful not just the super tiny ones. One thing I do love about my post pregnancy body is the curves, but if it’s possible to get smaller I’d feel better I think.

3 Months PP Mother of 5 (Ellen)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Submissions 6 Comments

Hi! My name is Ellen. I’m 28 years old and 3 months post c-section. I have had 5 kids in 6 years and had a tubal ligation done with the last one, which was my only c-section.

I’m 5’6 and used to be an athletic 160 lbs and right now I’m stuck at 200. I have major issues with my body now and am planning on having a mommy makeover next year.

The stretch marks are really bad in the light and my breasts, although bigger than they ever were are a bit droopy. My stomach isn’t as bad as it could be, but I don’t like the look of it either. My butt lost a lot of its roundness and my thighs are huge.

As much as I could complain, my children are worth it all. Plus whatever can’t be fixed on its own can be corrected with surgery. Yes, some of our bodies change immensely after having children, but it’s worth the miracle.

Changes (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Child Loss, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Submissions 13 Comments

My body is a blessing. Before now I wasn’t so sure. Ironically, though I had given birth 4 times vaginally (twice without meds) it took my emergency c-section to show me just how wonderful my body is. I’m not skinny, I haven’t been since my first pregnancy in high school, I have stretch marks and loose skin, cellulite, freckles and scars. I have carried seven people with in me. 5 made it earth side and 2 were called home. My body has given life and it has experienced terrible loss. The BMI index considers me over weight, and I’m ok with it. I have a scar now that is the biggest one on my body. The deepest. And it’s so beautiful. I can’t express to you just how in love with my scar that I am. I look at it and I know that we survived. We made it. No matter what I feel victorious in how I birthed my son. So please, c-section Mama’s, don’t think that because you didn’t give birth vaginally that you didn’t do something amazing. I’ve given birth just about every way that someone CAN give birth and I promise you, you’re all big damn heroes to me :) . You have that scar and your baby is here, it may not have been the birth you wanted, and next time you’re going to crush that VBAC if you go for it (I have faith in you) but please, in between now and then just remember that you’re beautiful, and that you’re no less of a woman because you had MAJOR surgery to get that baby here. Because from my experience, that takes as much of a birth warrior as squatting down and pushing baby out. <3 Age: 23 Number of pregnancies and births: 7 pregnancies 7 births 5 live births (4 mine one surro babe) number of children: 7, 3, 1 and 1 month [gallery ids="12108,12104,12105,12106,12107"]

4 Months After 5 Kids (Momma of 5)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Submissions 6 Comments

I am soon to be 26 yrs old. I have had five pregnancies and five happy babies born in the last six years. I would never have changed having my kids so close together but having a baby every year didn’t give me a chance to lose much weight and tone up again between each pregnancy. Before kids I’ve always had a tight thin body with large perky boobs and was always proud of my body. I do have hope that I can tighten my tummy more than it is now but I’m still amazed looking back that I had 5 kids back to back and by body did its job growing and protecting each one, so I am so proud of my body. I was 138 lbs before my fifth pregnancy and I went up to 194 lbs at the end of the pregnancy. Now I am 149 lbs at four months post partum. Breastfeeding helps mentally that My body is still useful even if it doesn’t look the same.

Thanks for reading

122313-mommaof5-1

My Body Struggle (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 8 Comments

I met my now husband in 6th grade, and we’ve been “on and off” since. We have been together with no break ups for 5 years now, married for two of those years. I know my husband loves me and is attracted to me but I NEVER feel good enough. He had cheated on me once while we were still in high school and I feel it still haunts me. I always feel like something was my fault. Now that we have our beautiful daughter, my husband and I are closer than ever, but I still feel so insecure. I have stretch marks and slightly loose skin and I am in no way a skinny girl. I have cried several times over this, and think that I may have some sort of postpartum depression that only deals with my own body image. I just want to share my pictures in case young women like myself feel like they are the only mom their age who have changed bodies after pregnancy. I know that is how I’ve felt since I know tons of moms my age that look exactly the same if not better than before. I want to be able to feel sexy again someday, but I’m not sure if that’s going to happen. Everyday I struggle with my body image, and I wish I didn’t. I know I don’t have the WORST body, but this is no where near MY best body.

~Age: 21
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1/1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 3 months

3 months pp from cesarean, do I have diastatis recti? (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 5 Comments

~Age: 36
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 3 months

I had elective cesarean section 3 months ago because my baby boy was breech. The cesarean wasn’t a great experience as I lost a lot of blood (2 litres) and was put on iron tablets that me horrendous constipation and tummy ache. I also suffered for weeks with trapped wind and gas. Infact I’m still more gassy now than I ever used to be.

My baby boy was a gorgeous healthy 7lbs15oz.

Before pregnancy I had a very flat stomach and good BMI. I wasn’t really toned but I walked my dog for an hour a day and felt healthy (I have included a photo of my tummy when I was 5 weeks pregnant). During pregnancy I put on about 3 stone (40lbs) but luckily didn’t get any stretch marks. Post partum my stomach started going down very quickly initially and I don’t have a ceseran overhang around the scar. But what has upset me is I still look pregnant – people are asking if I am expecting again as I have a round bump all at the front. It feels firm-ish and doesn’t sag (see photos).

I do still have a stone to lose to be back at pre pregnancy weight but that’s more around hips/bum. My belly feels like it has a small layer of fat covering it, but is firm and comes out. Is this diastatis recti? Or normal after a caesarean and do I just have to be patient and it will take a year to go down?
rom my iPhone

5 weeks pregnant

I Want to Be Me Again (Desiree)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 4 Comments

my name is desiree im 22 a mother of one amazing boy who is 14 months before baby I was 125 pounds which is curvy for my height a tiny 5 ft tall at full term I was 172 a year later im still bouncing between 140 and 145. my husband is the kindest most understanding person he “loves” my new mommy curves and I was “too skinny before ” but I feel disgusting I wear 2 girdles sometimes just to hide my bloated belly which is partially due to ulcerative colitis that was triggered by pregnancy I wish I could fix it but no amount of working out did anything to help and surgery is too drastic and expensive im thankful for my awesome son and and amazing hubby but I want to feel sexy again I loved my body before I just want to go back to that. my close friend has 4 kids and is a size 2 with barely a mark on her so I kinda expected the same with myself this site showed me everyone is different and im not alone in the struggle to be comfortable in my own skin again after baby thank you for that ?

My Stomach Looks Distorted (Rebecca)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Child Loss, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Teen Mom 12 Comments

Age-21
Pregnancies/births-3/1
Postpartum-3 years

Hey there ladies! First off I’d like to say that I love this site and what its all about!! So, here’s my story. I gave birth to my first child,stillborn, at the age of 14. I was very petite, had a flat stomach,small boobs, and a bubble butt. I delivered Benny @ 7.5 months…..my stomach bounced back right away, but because I did go through a natural labor, my breast still filled with milk
and went from a 34 A to a DD which left me with very stretched out, saggy, dark nipple breasts. I later became pregnant with my second son Jody, at the age of 16 and birthed him @ 17….weighing in @ 8.5 oz. Throughout my whole pregnancy with him, I was smooth sailing….eating whatever I wanted when I wanted….thinking “oh, well since im still young and I already know that my body will bounce back- I don’t HAVE TO take precaution because I’ve been through this already.” BOY WAS I WRONG!!!! my pre-pregnancy weight was 112(I was actually struggling to gain weight,as I wanted to be “thick” like the other girls..which I some what did!!! I had finally fit into a size 3.yayyy!!!) flat stomach, ruined breast…with the same bubble butt. So I started @ 112….finished off the pregnancy @ 160(roughly) this left my stomach in a horrific sight!!!! After I delivered….. My stomach wasn’t huge anymore so I automatically felt “sexy” again. A few weeks later when the whole parenting thing was set….I started focusing on my body! I was so depressed..I cried and cried for days straight, having pity parties and constantly reminding myself that I WILL NEVER look as good as ANY OTHER FEMALE WHO EXISTED ON PLANET EARTH. 3 years later….I still have a hard time looking in the mirror and believing the compliments people give me, especially my BD (we’ve gone through the whole ” why the fuck do u have to look @ porn when I’m right here motherfucker!!! WHAT? AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!!) Its better….but we still can’t watch rated R movies that show the perfect bitches. I still have a lot of learning to do to be confident with who I am, how I’ve changed, and accepting the wrinkling skin that I’m in. I find myself seriously considering surgery.

My stats before/after: 112/140; size3/size9 ;34A/34B (stretch marks, saggy, forever cursed with large dark nipples) ; firm body& confidence/ very loose jiggly body with very low confidence. I can’t help but to compare myself to EVERY WOMAN, especially the ones close to my age (21) and feel nothing but envy. They can wear bikinis and crop tops and look great…me on the other hand…. … *tears* will never know how that feels. I pretty much feel like a fat girl trapped in a skinny girls body. I can’t wear what I’m attracted to because its meant for girls who have nice bodies. I hope to one day, get off my ass, get back into sports…..exercise and quit throwing pity parties in fitting rooms. Any words of advice??