My name is Hope, I’m 24 years old and I had my first child this July. I had a truly empowering and beautiful natural childbirth at a birth center, and my baby is absolutely gorgeous! For the first couple months after having her, I was very unhappy with my body. I thought that is was gross, abnormal, etc etc. My wonderful boyfriend always told me how beautiful I was, and not in a demeaning sort of way (I think that they whole “I love you because you made our child” this is crap–yeah it’s true, but it also sounds like you’re saying “you’re not actually pretty, but because of our pre-existing relationship I think you are” ), he unequivocally called me beautiful. I’m starting to believe and understand this. I know just how strong I am, and how strong my body is. I pushed out a baby that weighed almost 9 pounds, after about 24hrs of labor, all on my own. I’m a superhero! And if I am going to love my little girl, no matter he size or shape, then I have no excuse but to love myself.
I am now 4 months post-partum, and still 10-15 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight. but my baby and my boyfriend both love the soft mom snuggles that my new body can give them.
I feel for the women who come here to commiserate in their sadness and deflated self-opinions. I think that they are subverting what could be a revolutionary movement, and turning it into something that only serves to reinforce the overly strict ideals of beauty that we are trying to correct! Remember that learning to love yourself starts with positive affirmations– say it even if you don’t believe it!
Body pics are 4mo post-partum, not sure on the BF photo.
2 thoughts on “If I Love My Daughter, I Have to Love Myself (Hope)”
Soft of heart! That is what matters, and we all know it. No matter the firmness or lack thereof, of the body. Keep up the good work.
I love your post so much! It is so positive and valid that it makes me want to kick myself in the head for ever thinking any different… it seems like your advice should be common sense, but because of the media and social expectations of the female body it’s not so ‘common’ after all. Keep up the good work and positive attitude! If you haven’t been able to shed the extra 10-15 pounds, don’t be so hard on yourself. I’m still 5 pounds ahead of my pre-pregnancy weight (16 months pp & I have a petite frame), but I don’t feel terrible about myself for it & I’m no longer actively trying to lose it. I just pretend the extra pounds evenly distributed between my bum and breasts because that’s the extras I got after having my child haha so it works out. Just live a healthy lifestyle and be you (15 pounds heavier, or not)!