Before Pregnancy

3 weeks PP and in the Navy (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 10 Comments

Age: 21
Number of pregnancies/births: 1/1
Age of children: 3 week old baby boy

I joined the Navy when I was 18. Went to bootcamp in Great Lakes Illinois two weeks after I graduated from High School on July 3, 2007 and graduated August 31, 2007. I ended up being stationed at NAS Oceana in Virginia Beach Va, across the country from my family in California. I met my amazing boyfriend in the Navy and found out we were expecting a baby November 2009. I was terrified and i felt so alone being so far from home.

I weighed around 150 when I met my boyfriend and was comfortable with my weight. I had gained 20 lbs by the time I found out I was pregnant. I weighed 206 just before I gave birth and I hated the way my body looked. I’ve never had a flat stomach and a perfect body but I’ve always been so comfortable with my body until I got pregnant. The stretch marks I could handle. I’ve had them before and they faded with time until they were almost invisible. It was the darkening of my nipples and arreola that horrified me. They used to be a pretty pink and now they are a dark brown. I now have a dark line from my belly button down to my pubic bone. My body doesn’t feel like my own anymore.

I have 6 months to get back in shape for the Navy. I have to get down to 145 or 32% body fat. I weigh 178 and am nowhere near being 32% body fat. I have more pressure to get back into shape from both the Navy and my boyfriend. I feel useless in my own body. I can’t work out until I hit 6 weeks PP. That’s when I go back to work and am cleared to start working out again.

On top of everything I’m trying to heal physically and emotionally from my c section. I feel like a failure as a mother for not being able to have a normal vaginal birth. I feel like I have been robbed of experiencing my baby’s birth.

Hopefully one day I recover from the experience and be able to lose the weight and get back into shape. As for my flabby stomach and saggy uneven breasts, I plan on having plastic surgery in a year when I transfer to another command. I’ve never felt confident enough to wear a bikini and I’d like to wear one someday. My breasts have never been perky and they’ve always been pancake like and my nipples always pointed down. I love my baby but not the body that came with him. He is so worth it though.

1st pic: Pre pregnancy
2nd pic: 40 weeks pregnant
3rd pic: 3 weeks PP belly
4th pic: uneven saggy breasts
5th pic: side view
6th pic: c section scar
7th pic Anthony Gabriel
8th pic: Anthony and Daddy(I’m jealous of his abs lol)
9th pic: Anthony and mommy

From Girl to Woman (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 2 Comments

28
ten months post body

i posted just only today also talking about my belli and my job .

i wanted to share this amazing transformation with you mummas i am absoluty amazed at how the body grows and changes , i mean really the pic speak for them selfs !!!!! i am learning to love there new transformation,,its going to take some time , this is apart of my healing.

pic 1 and 2 pre pregancy
pic 3 ,,8 weeks pregant ,,pic 4 16 weeks pregant ,,pic 5 and 6, 32 weeks pregant ,, pic 7 40 weeks pregant,, pic 8 two weeks after having my baby , pic 9 and 10,, ten months after baby ..

Australian Ex-Professional Dancer Battles with Post Baby Body (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 26 Comments

28
one child
ten months post body
65-kg before pregnancy
95 peak pregnancy
75-kg to date,

i use to dance professionally in burlesque and cabaret-bars , having my whole job revolve around my body and my own sense of sexuality i was always great shape , having to keep toned by having a active and a healthy life style.

when deciding to have a family i had no idea what the consequences were to be upon my body , i had the idea to keep working afterward ( of course with a healthy time of to share with my baby) but i find my self with a incurably saggy belle and a thousand strong deep stretch marks , i will always have to wear a corset now if i decide to go back to work,, during my pregnancy i ate all hearted !! i ate lamb shanks , mash potato , i though to my self i am growing a baby i may as well give her all the food she needs !! or was that food for me ?? during my dancing i had to watch what i ate, it was plenty of small frequent low carb nutritious-meals , to keep my figure , so needed in the high class of exotic dancing,, i had a lot of water retention and the blue marks appeared-around week 34 and at my peak of pregnancy i had put on a whopping 30-kg but gosh those cup cakes never tasted so good !!! best yr. of my life !!!

i have lost the weight but now i am left with the saggy left over skin.

sometimes i wonder weather the skin stretched so much because i put on so much weight and it was all my own fault, but then i have two friends that were tiny ( like myself) before falling pregnant and have bellies-like my own ( very saggy and wrinkly , so i think its a mix of heritor ( my mother had the same thing ) weight gain , and skin elastic ,my daughter was two weeks over due and i was huge … my skin stretched to impossible lengths it was like i was carrying twins , ( see pic below in labour )

so i find my self kinda in a state of shock , my body has changed so quickly in just one and a half yrs. , been put through so much strain, ( created the most amazing thing in return ) but sometimes i feels hard letting go of my own body image and excepting the change .

it some times does not feel like my body, i am uncomfortable in my sexuality for the first time in my life , and find my self not wanting to share my self with my lover , i feel ashamed with the change , i am trying to love and except ,, but its not easy …

my breasts are much fuller and saggy now , i personally feel quite at peace with them in my own private life , but the thought of returning to work now and showing my breast sounds terrifying to me,, but my belli is a different matter , i am so disgusted by it i cannot even look at it ,i always am having to wear a corset , to be honest i think i just may never dance again ,, which honestly is devastating ,,, i love what i do and love bringing joy and humor to people through my shows ,, my savings were extremely healthy and i always had strong work ethics and was am proud of what it do ,i was never ready to give up dancing,, i feel like my successful business was taken away from me .

if i was GIVEN 20 thousand dollars for a breast enhancement and tummy tuck would i do it ?? YES
would i pay 20 thousand from my OWN savings for the operations ,,, NO

my hard earn money would go to my family , not myself . but god i would love to win the lotto !!!

in retrospect if i had of know back then of what i do now of my change in body i would never want it any other way ,, the joy of mother hood far out ways the way i am feeling about my body ,, one strechmark for every smiles from my baby girl ,, now that a good exchange :) , i am trying to move on and heal through this , thats why i want to say a big thank-you to all you other moms who have shared there story, you are all apart of my healing .

i am struggling to keep positive

Second entry here.

7 weeks postpartum with twin boys (Ash)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Twins 17 Comments

Age: 25
Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregnancy 2 births
The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 7 weeks

I had my twin boys at 38 weeks 1 day they were 6 lb 2 oz and 5 lb 5 oz, and perfectly healthy. I gained about 35 lbs with the pregnancy and I had to try pretty hard to put that weight on. I started my
pregnancy at 130 lbs (I’m 5’6″) and I currently weigh 134 and have been at this weight for about 5 weeks now. I seemed to lose most of my weight fairly quickly and was in my old jeans at 5 days postpartum.
Strangers tell me thing like “You look amazing” “Are these really your babies?” “You don’t even look like you’ve had one baby” Sounds great doesn’t it? Except those people don’t have to look at me naked.
I was left with a belly full of stretchmarks and a deformed belly button. I have been trying to not let my body get me down and today is the first day that I really feel hopeless and ugly, I really didn’t think it was THAT bad until I took the pictures. I wish I didn’t care, I wish I still felt beautiful, and I wish I appreciated my body more before. Luckily, my husband is wonderful, literally the best man in the world. He tells me I am more beautiful now than I have ever been, and I believe am to him (he has been very convincing), but I
certainly don’t feel beautiful at all. I got my first stretch mark when I was 30 weeks pregnant and I have not been comfortable in my skin since. I feel like I have a secret under my shirt something no one can ever see, and I am paranoid my shirt will ride up and expose it. During my pregnancy I would constantly think to myself “you are ruined” and “you will never be beautiful again” but I am glad to say I don’t feel entirely ruined, I did make two perfect boys.

I am hoping my skin will tighten up and my stretch marks will fade. How come the fat I have after pregnancy is so much softer than the fat before pregnancy? My belly always had a little bit of fat but it didn’t feel mushy like this. This fat hangs out over my pants and jiggles. I guess I should start a good workout program…

pictures 1-4 are me now, the 5th is a picture of my boys, the 6th is of my belly the day I delivered, and the 7th is my belly right after I found out I was pregnant.

Coming To Terms With Being Pregnant (Anon)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Eating Disorder, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions, Tattoo 15 Comments

Age: 22
Pregnancies and births: currently pregnant (4 months)

I found out I was pregnant March 24, 2010. It was a shock for both me and my husband, and I cried when I called to tell him. I wish I could be noble and say that they were tears of joy, but I was shocked, upset, and did not want to be a mother.

I’ve been obsessed with my weight since I was 10 years old. In high school I developed an eating disorder, but my weight remained between 140-150 at 5′ 7″ The lowest I ever got was 135 and you could count all my ribs. I always felt fat, always felt that number on the scale was the only thing that mattered. I carry a LOT of muscle in my legs and have always been pretty thin on top, so it’s hard for me to look healthy when my weight gets too low. I met a man who thought I was beautiful inside and out, grew comfortable with my body and stopped fighting it. Four years later, we went on vacation while I weighed 174, and while I wished I weighed less, I didn’t think I looked entirely undesirable. When my hsuband went out to sea (he’s in the Navy) I went about frantically losing weight, exercising, dieting religiously… when he got back 3 months later I lost 30lbs and settled at 145.

Three months later I had settled at a non-dieting weight of 154… and that’s when I found out I was pregnant. And that positive test result was like a death march in my head: YOU ARE GOING TO BE FAT. And there’d be nothing I could do about it. I’ve been making peace with the idea of gaining weight, it’s not easy. I had to start eating throughout the day when I was used to eating one or two meals and occasionally purging. I’ve been chilling around 163 for the last three weeks. I try to exercise every day– I have leg weights I do lifts with, a treadmill and stationary bike– I want so badly to be fit for my pregnancy so that after the bit I can go back to being the way I was.

My husband’s shipmates tease him by saying I’ll gain like crazy and I’ll be a whale…. to his credit, he sticks up for me and says I’m too devoted to my body to let self go like that and whatever weight I do gain will not make me fat, it’ll make me pregnant. I’ve found that I love hearing him say that. Do I look fat? No, baby, you look pregnant. I could get used to that. I’m grateful that I’ve managed to find a man who has never once used my physical body to put me down. He’s never called me fat, never said anything derogatory toward me.

I do love this site. It makes me feel like I have the courage to face what may happen to my body with a little dignity instead of running from it like a child. I’ll definitely post again when I really start showing… right now the suspect baby bump comes and goes. I don’t want to be stick thin anymore. I’ve made enough peace with my body that I can accept it’s beautiful as it is; I no longer think models like Miranda Kerr and Alesandra Ambrosio are healthy-looking or that their bodies are particularly enviable… I am built like a woman, I could never look like a little boy, it’s not in my genes. I’ve grown to respect and adore models like Lizzie Miller and Crystal Renn, they have the womanly figure and make me aspire to look more like Aphrodite… not Angelina. When I look at their beauty, it gives me confidence that I can stay healthy through this pregnancy and still be beautiful afterwards— even with a few stretch marks and extra pounds.

First Picture: me, July 2009 (174 lbs)
Second Picture: me, December 2009 (145 lbs)
Third Picture: 15 weeks along (163 lbs)
Fourth Picture: 16 weeks along (still 163, but where did the bump go??)

Updated here, here and here.

5 week PP, hating my body (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Tattoo, Teen Mom 8 Comments

Pre-pregnancy weight: 169
Labor Weight: 210
Weight now: 200

I have been struggling with my weight since I was a kid. I was 240 in my sophmore year of high school and just last year I got down to my weight of 157. I wasn’t too happy there, but I was content and felt like I looked great. I met my husband and I gained love pounds. So when I got pregnant I was 169. I lost 20 pounds my first and second trimesters, and then gained it all back when I got to my third. I got a beautiful baby girl now, but now it just looks like I never even had a baby. I just look plain old fat. I’m having the toughest time getting back on a healthy diet and exercise plan. My husband says I’m still attractive to him, but I just hate myself and how I look. I know I have a beautiful baby girl that makes it all worth it, but I can’t help to hate myself for it.

First 3 pictures are of me 5 week PP and my last picture is of me pre-pregnancy

~Age: 19
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1/1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 5 week PP

Any confidence I had (which was minimal) is GONE! (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 17 Comments

I have always had insecurities about my body, which eventually led to an eating disorder. I got down to almost 85 lbs (I am 5′ 3″). Fortunately, I was able to stop. I slowly gained weight back, and wasn’t exactly happy, but I dealt with it and had the support of my husband. Then, I got pregnant. I knew I would gain weight but never realized the toll that pregnancy would have on my body. I gained about 50 lbs and had to have a c-section due to arrested dilation. My baby was put under the bili-lights for the first week of life and therefore could not breastfeed. She got too used to the bottle and I have ended up bottle-feeding her. So, I was stuck with this extra weight to lose without the aid of breastfeeding. So, here I am now, 3 months postpartum, with saggy breasts, HORRIBLE stretch marks, and so much extra weight it is not even funny. I am only 21 but am already past my prime. It’s a really sad realization and I am trying to accept it. I’m having trouble with the eating disorder now too. I feel so out of control. And my husband is gone due to the military. It’s hard. But my baby girl is the light of my life now. Pray for me please :)

P.S. The last picture is of me before I got pregnant, just in case you couldn’t tell the difference ;D

~Age: 21
~Number of pregnancies and births: 3 pregnancies, 1 live birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 3 months postpartum

A Stomach Like a Deflated Balloon (Sarah)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 15 Comments

~Age: 24
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2 pregnancies, 1 birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 6 months post partum

Up until 4years ago I had never had body issues. I’d always been slim and fit, but after one termitated pregnancy at 19 I had implanon inserted as a contraception. I gained 15kg (33pounds) in the 6months following. Previously I weighed 60kg (132pounds) and ended up 75kg (165pounds).

During my pregnancy with my now 6mo baby boy I got upto 86kg (189pounds). I am now back to 76.5kg (168.6pounds) and very unhappy with this. Even though I am not a lot heavier than I was pre-baby, my body shape is completely different and I have a lot of purple coloured stretch marks covering my belly. I hate what I look like in the mirror and for the first time I look at photos of my body and think, “Am I really THAT fat? Do I really look like that?” My stomach looks like a deflated balloon and I feel very unattractive. My partner has told me he really doesn’t care what I look like and he’ll be with me regardless, I’d love him to tell me he thinks that I am beautiful, but he has never been that type of guy.

I look at other mothers that are slimmer, not so stretched and just look amazing after giving birth and feel quite jealous. My son is worth everything, and I realise that long term this should not matter, because I am fortunate enough to have a beautiful, happy, healthy little boy who is the light of my life, and a supportive partner who always stands by me.

I’d give anything to get back to 60kg, but I know it would never happen and I am never going to look that way again. I just want to feel beautiful and sexy again.

My photos are of me 34weeks pregnant, my baby boy Kevin at 5months old, a pre-pregnancy photo in a bikini, and various pics of my stomach and sides 6 months post partum

Updated here.

My Story – I Have a Long Way to Go (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, Butt, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 33 Comments

Age: 30
2 Pregnancies, 2 Births
Children 9yrs & 7.5yrs

When I was a kid I was skinny/average, like most kids were back then. When I hit 10 or so I started to gain some weight. I lived on a farm so I had to do hard work and because of that my weight fluctuated a bit (not as much work/activity in the winter). I never really noticed that I was chubby until I was 13 and met my “best friend”. She made fun of EVERY part of me. I was to short, my nose was crooked, my top lip was too poofy for the size of my bottom lip (they are about the same size), my butt was too wide for how big it was top to bottom, my finger nails to pointy, my eyes to almond shaped, my hips too small. You name it, she had something bad to say about it. It was such an impressionable time for me and she ruined what self esteem I had. I met my husband when I was almost 18. He always said he thought I was sexy and beautiful. Even when I was pregnant he still wanted to see me naked and make love with me. During my first pregnancy I gained about 30 pounds. I didn’t quite lose all the weight when I became pregnant again when my first was 10.5 months old. Again I gained about 30-35 pounds. I nursed through my pregnancy and went on to tandem nurse. I lost a LOT of weight rather quickly. I lost all the baby weight and more probably by the time my second child was a year old. I am smaller now than I was before I was ever pregnant, about 25 pounds lighter. You would think that would make me feel really good but it doesn’t. I work out regularly (at least until the past month or), stay active through out the day and eat really healthy. I can’t stand to see my stretch marks, loose skin and small breasts. After nursing for 6 years straight my breasts are even smaller than their already to small pre-pregnancy size and my nipples are stretched out.

I really want to get a boob job, nose job and a tummy tuck but my husband says no way, I’m beautiful just the way I am and he wouldn’t want to touch my boobs if they were fake. He thinks they would look and feel weird. I can’t stand my stomach. I can’t seem to burn the last of the fat off of it, unless I starve myself. The loose skin on it is just disgusting too. I am always grabbing and pinching it wishing it would just go away. My husband says he thinks my stomach is as sexy as it ever was and it’s amazing because it accommodated our precious children. Under normal circumstances I would believe all these things except he has been looking at porn so much. A few months ago he promised me he would not do that ever again and that if we made love every day he wouldn’t want to do it anymore. We do make love almost every day and I still caught him looking at it when I was outside in the yard, playing with the kids! He couldn’t even wait until I wasn’t home to do it (oh and we had just made love the morning before and I had no idea he was even horny that day). He says it’s not because he doesn’t find me attractive. He always tells me how sexy I am and can’t keep his hands off of me. He’ll walk by and say, “MMM MMM” or squeeze my butt when I walk by or bend over. All I can figure is that if I looked like the porn stars he loves to look at so much he would stop looking at other women (I took some naked pics that even I can’t deny I actually look really good in but he still prefers to look at other women naked when it comes to satisfying himself. He actually wanted to show them to his co-workers, or someone because he said I looked so beautiful it was hard to keep them to his self!). Unfortunately we can’t afford for me to get any plastic surgery. I keep telling him when I save up I’m getting it done whether he approves or not. Why wouldn’t he want me to get these things done if I’m willing to do them??? He would be the one benefiting from it. It just doesn’t make sense. I know he loves me very much. He helps out around the house, helps out with the kids and supports me in everything I do. I have become obsessed with is porn habit though. Every time I go outside to do yard work or leave with the kids all I can think about is that he must be jacking off to porn. I just can’t let this go. I don’t know if most women’s husbands look at it and they think it’s no big deal but it’s a big deal to me.

I have so much work to get myself emotionally healthy. I really don’t want to pass this negative body image and screwed up thinking onto my daughter. I’m always worried that I’m going to gain a pound or two and then my husband won’t want to look at me or touch me anymore. I’m thinking about seeing a counselor. I’m not sure at this point if it will do me any good though. I just can’t imagine looking at myself in the mirror and not thinking I’m fat, ugly, stretched out and scarred up. Thanks for listening to me.

The first attached picture is me when I was 19 before I was pregnant, the second is 27 weeks with my second baby, the last picture is a full body shot taken yesterday.

New Mummy, New body to accept (Kelly)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 18 Comments

~Age: 22
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregnancy, 1 birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: Kara is 4 weeks old

My partner Matt and I are both young, I’m 22, he is 20. We had Kara 4 weeks ago, I had to have an emergency c-section as I was induced at 9 days overdue and after 12 hours of hard labour I hadn’t dilated at all.

I was happy with the c-section, although it took me about a week to walk unsupported I am happy with how everything went.
I have never been a totally stick skinny person, I’ve always been curvy and I’ve always had big boobs. Now they are just massive haha (and my breastfeeding nipples are so huge!!!).

I’m lucky to have an amazingly supportive partner who tells me every day that I’m still attractive and that he loves my tummy (pouch and all). I got more stretchmarks than I was expecting but I will grow to accept them.

I can’t help but feel down when I see other girls my age in bikinis and such but I have decided that once summer comes round again (December here in Australia) I’ll bear a bikini no matter how floppy I still am because it’ll feel empowering to show of those marks that I like to think of as “Mummy badges”.

I’ve lost so 8 kilos so far, 5 from the birth and 3 kilos since. I aim to get down to 60kgs which is 22 kilos away!!! I’m using Wii Fit for light exercise… I can’t wait til it stops telling me I’m obese!!!

I’ll include a small bunch of pics to show off all my changes

1st pic: pre pregnancy body (actually the night Matt and I found out we were expecting!)
2nd pic: 40 weeks pregnant
3rd pic: 2 hours post c-section
4th pic: 1 week post c-section
5th pic: 4 weeks post c-section, stretchmarks on butt, hip, thigh and stomach
6th pic: 4 weeks post c-section, stretchmarks on stomach and c-section scar
7th pic: 4 weeks post c-section, post partum body
8th pic: Kara Lee Eleanor – 4 weeks old