~Number of pregnancies and births: 2 pregnancies, 1 birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 6 months post partum
Up until 4years ago I had never had body issues. I’d always been slim and fit, but after one termitated pregnancy at 19 I had implanon inserted as a contraception. I gained 15kg (33pounds) in the 6months following. Previously I weighed 60kg (132pounds) and ended up 75kg (165pounds).
During my pregnancy with my now 6mo baby boy I got upto 86kg (189pounds). I am now back to 76.5kg (168.6pounds) and very unhappy with this. Even though I am not a lot heavier than I was pre-baby, my body shape is completely different and I have a lot of purple coloured stretch marks covering my belly. I hate what I look like in the mirror and for the first time I look at photos of my body and think, “Am I really THAT fat? Do I really look like that?” My stomach looks like a deflated balloon and I feel very unattractive. My partner has told me he really doesn’t care what I look like and he’ll be with me regardless, I’d love him to tell me he thinks that I am beautiful, but he has never been that type of guy.
I look at other mothers that are slimmer, not so stretched and just look amazing after giving birth and feel quite jealous. My son is worth everything, and I realise that long term this should not matter, because I am fortunate enough to have a beautiful, happy, healthy little boy who is the light of my life, and a supportive partner who always stands by me.
I’d give anything to get back to 60kg, but I know it would never happen and I am never going to look that way again. I just want to feel beautiful and sexy again.
My photos are of me 34weeks pregnant, my baby boy Kevin at 5months old, a pre-pregnancy photo in a bikini, and various pics of my stomach and sides 6 months post partum