African American

Sad But Not Giving Up Hope (Anon)

Bonnie (SOAM) African American, Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 7 Comments

I’m writing to you all the from Jamaica. I’m 23 years old and 3 weeks 1 day postpartum. Maybe its too early for me to submit my story since I’ve not yet healed properly, but I just wna share my story.

Also, I must say that I read the stories of other strong beautiful mothers daily. Its very encouraging and helps me to embrace my body. So maybe my story will encourage you. My mother also encourages me a lot. She has 3 of us, when she was my age (23) she was done with kids. She is still suffering with her image and insomnia to this day. But no one knows unless she tells them. When she sees her children, all grown up, she says she’s nevr been happier.

I got pregnant December last year for my boyfriend of 2 yrs, I nevr wanted kids, I love my freedom, and loved my body even more. It made me, me. A confident individual. A bit too confident maybe. Before getting pregnant I was 137 pounds, 182 pounds at 39 weeks. I’m 5’5″. During my pregnancy I worried about stretch marks, the most, I rubbed my belly with olive oil and cocoa butter almost evry day. Initially, I had a small belly, at 6 months my fundal height was 13 inches. In just a few weeks my belly skyrocketed. At first they came on my sides. They were real small, and right before my eyes, they exploded. I thought I cud wrk with tht. But not on my belly please stay away. I also got them on my legs and calves. But not my belly.

I was happy that my chances of escaping stretch marks on my belly. At 38 weeks pregnant my doc said he’d induce me at 39 weeks. My baby’s head was in the birth canal, and could come at anytime, I lived abt 45 mins from the hospital, he didn’t want any accidents, so thts the reason I was induced.

I got home from my 38 week check up, laying in bed, my mom expressed shock, she saw lines on my belly, one more week to go, and they had to show up there ugly selves. I cried that night. I was crushed. Depressed. My mother comforted me, told me wen I have my baby I’ll appreciate it. I started having nightmares, because I was so deep in thought tht my bf may not want me any more. He nver liked big girls. I told him how I felt, told him my nightmares. He told me id be fine and should not worry. When he saw the marks, he laughed and asked me if that was really why I was behaving like that. It made me smile. He even bought me oils and creams tht would help get them off. I’ve not seen any improvements yet, but its just been 3 weeks. 6 days after giving birth I weighed 165 pounds.
My boyfreind tells me to be patient, and tht I’ll be fine. Even though my body won’t go back to normal, I’m now a mother, so I’ll hv a body thts considered normal for my new role in life.

I had a problem free pregnancy, smooth delivery. Painful, but worth evry second, I thank God.
I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy weighing 8 pounds 4 ounces on the 9th of september, 10 days before my 23rd bday, the 19-9. I love him so much, he has made me appreciate life so much more, he makes me smile evryday. I’m happy I have him. And evry one says he looks just like me.
I promise to keep u posted.

The first 3 pics: pre preggo
4th: day after delivery
5th: 10 days after delivery
6th: 11 days after delivery
7th: side stretch marks
8th: full body
9 & 10th: 2 weeks 3 days after delivery, belly up close
11th: my sweetie pie
12 &13: 38 & 39 weeks

Updated here.

Obsessed with this jelly belly (B.J.)

Bonnie (SOAM) African American, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 13 Comments

I’ve struggled with my weight since I was 9.At one point in time I even became anorexic. I’ve always been one to exercise and diet to stay in shape. In high school I had a really nice body, and for once I was kind of proud of it. But at the age of 16 I got pregnant and gave birth to my son in June of 2009. I lost all of the weight really fast but my stomach is saggy and stretched with stretch marks. I can’t wear a bikini and though with clothes on my body looks fine, I try not to look at myself in the mirror with clothes off. I’m getting married in December and my fiance’ has never seen me with my clothes off. I’ve told him about this dilemma and he assures me its not that big of a deal but he hasn’t seen it yet so I’m like how can he say its not a big deal? I don’t even wanna take my shirt off around him. I’ve been dieting and exercising and though the rest of my body is in shape my stomach is so ugly. I’ve been using creams and everything but the results are limited. I emailed pictures to doctors and they tell me only a tummy tuck will fix my tummy and no amount of dieting or exercise will give me significant results. I just want my husband to think of me as beautiful when he finally sees whats underneath but I doubt he can if I can”t even look myself in the mirror.

Age:19
Number of pregnancies and childbirths:1
Age of child: 2 years
Postpartum: 2 years

What a Mother of Six Really Looks Like (Erykah)

Bonnie (SOAM) African American, Belly, Cesarean, Four or More Pregnancies, Homebirth, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions, VBAC 14 Comments

After I had my son in 1999 I felt ruined. I had never witnessed a postpartum stomach that looked like mine and being that I was only 21 years old, I was sure that I was beyond repair unless I had a tummy tuck. And then I had twins and my sense of “ruined” hit me ten fold. My husband assured me that I was beautiful and that I should be proud of my stomach as it was the “house that grew my twins.” We proceeded to have four children in five years including the twins. My stomach has gotten progressively worse over the years. I now have diastasis recti and six wonderful kids. I know that for my health and the preservation of my back muscles, a tummy tuck is in my future. But to be honest even without the diastis, I would still probably opt for a tummy tuck not for shame but because I miss what I used to look like.

~Age: 33
~Number of pregnancies and births: Five Pregnancies, Five Births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 12 years old, 9 years old (non biological), 4.5 years old twins, 2.5 year old and 9 months old. Bikini Picture: 8 months pregnant with number 5; hospital gown 39 weeks 4 day pregnant with twins; outdoor/black shirt picture 40 weeks pregnant with number six.
~I have had two c-sections (1999 and 2006), a hospital VBA2C (2008) and a homebirth (2010)

I Love My Body…With Clothes ON! (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) African American, Belly, Breasts, Butt, Cesarean, Legs, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 14 Comments

I found out I was pregnant with my first child when I was 19 years old. I was extremely excited but of course I was scared about what was to come. I was actually anxious to start to show…that didn’t happen until I was 6 months. Then I exploded like a hot air balloon. In the back of my head I always knew that I would get stretch marks, gain a lot of weight and look a hot mess because it was genetic. Both my mom and sisters gained a lot of weight…and “gave birth” via C-Section! :-(

I was 135lbs pre-pregnancy. When I gave birth to my child I weighed in at 209lbs at the hospital…74lbs. I am only 5’4″ so that looked disgusting. I had to have a C-Section because I had “Failure To Progress” which I think is a load of BS since neither I nor the baby was in any kind of danger. I think my doctor just wanted to go home. I digress. I breast fed for 9 months with baby #1. I only got back down to 175lbs. Then got preggers with baby #2 when baby #1 was 13 months. I had immense stretch marks already but there was no reason to do anything about them since I was already preggers again.

After baby #2 I hated my body. I was fat and stratted up (straie for stretch marks – you know – instead of tatted up?! Yeah Im corney). I had stretch marks everywhere except my feet, head, arms and hands. Literally. I was so depressed. I did go on WW and I lost 50 pounds and got all the way back down to 135lbs! But then me and their father split and I gained a lot back keeping me at 155lbs for two years but then I became ill a few months ago and am now at 144lbs.

The pictures below show my tummy…which I want a Tummy Tuck because doctors said that is the ONLY way to get rid of all the excess skin and stretch marks. I have a six back under the loose skin. I’ve always been muscular. I’ve tried to show you guys as close as possible the ones on my thighs, but, and sides.

To me there is nothing special about stretch marks. Getting rid of them does NOT mean that I resent my children…that’s the dumbest thing I have ever heard. I deserve to be happy with my body regardless of having children…

* Age: 25
* Number of pregnancies and births: 2 Pregnancies, 2 Births
* The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 5 and 3: 3 years PP.

Beautiful Blessings (Leah)

Bonnie (SOAM) African American, Belly, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 10 Comments

I am 23 years old and expecting my third baby. My children are 1 and 8 months apart ,I have two girls and I’m praying for a little boy. My first pregnancy was a natural birth that lasted 5 hrs. and my second pregnancy was an emergancy c-section. I love my doctor I have the smallest scar you ever seen. The journey through both pregnancies were life changing and I can’t wait to see whats next. I came across this site to get a glimps of what my belly might look like in my third pregnancy and I’ve seen dissapionting comments that led me to post my story. Not only am I m having a third baby but my children are bi-racial and I know how it feels to be ridicualed in public by people. They are half puerto rican and african american and their beautiful. I actually was in shoprite and A women came up to me and said your a very young nanny, I thought to myself she must think my kids were somebody elses becauses their so light and I’m darker then them. It did hurt alittle, but I just told here that these are my children and then she went on saying that I should be ashamed because of my age. I asked her how old do you think I am , she replied 15 and yes I do look young but to flat out embaress me like that in public was rude of an older women.

so I finally told here that Im 23 and I could see that she was embaressed , I said its ok I get it alot. I knew she was embaressed and she apologized. I had so many comments given to because thier bi racial and because I look young but, I just pray for those people and keep my head up. I write this not only for myself but all moms out there. God bless you and keep doing the best career in the World.

Accepting Change (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) African American, Belly, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Tattoo, Teen Mom 9 Comments

Age: 26
Number of pregnancies 3, Number of births: 2
Kids ages: 10 and 4 months
4 months postpartum

I was 16 when I had my daughter. Before I had gotten pregnant I was 116 lbs. Quickly after I gave birth, I returned to 116 lbs. I got a few stretch marks and dealt with it. It took years for me to be comfortable in my skin but I was glad that I was able to overcome it. Fast forward 10 year later, I gave birth to my son during my 39th week (my weight peaked at 154 lbs). It was a quick, but grueling labor. My son was born weighing 6 lbs 15 oz (my daughter was 6 lbs 6 oz) so he was kind of small. I remember the day I came home from the
hospital and I had a friend come by to see the baby. First thing she said when I opened the door for her was “You sure you don’t have another one still in there?”

As a new mom I wanted to cry, but I sucked it up. After she left I came to the realization that this weight loss progress isn’t going to be easy. Before I had my son I was 5’2 in height and about 124 lbs. Now at 4 months postpartum I am 130 lbs. I know some people might not think that it isn’t that much, but it
is still a change. Lose skin, stretch marks, uneven breast is what I am dealing with now. For the past few weeks exercise has been my best friend. At times I feel like giving up, maybe cause I am not getting the results as fast as I would like them. I have also started to count calories. That takes a lot of self
control because I still have the appetite of a pregnant woman….I WANT TO EAT EVERYTHING =)

I feel very fortunate that I have a wonderful man in my life. Sometimes I feel ashamed to be naked in front of him. Surprisingly, he doesn’t mind my flaws. He’s always touching and rubbing my stomach. I think as women we are self conscious about our appearance, and I blame the media for that. Beauty comes in
all different shapes & sizes though…..we are all beautiful because we were created by God!

I stumbled across this website through a google search, but I am so glad I found it. I appreciate each and every one of your stories. As moms, we go through many sacrifices but each one of them are worth it. I feel privileged and honored that God chose me to carry HIS kids.

First pic- A month before I got pregnant with my son
Second pic- Me and my daughter, dressed for my baby shower, I was 7 ½ months
pregnant with my son
Third pic- Last picture I took while pregnant with my son
Fourth/fifth pics- 3 weeks post partum
Sixth/seventh/eighth pics- 4 months post partum (The eighth one my stretch marks
are really visible)
Ninth pic- my babies =)

Already Shaped Like a Mother (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) African American, Before Pregnancy, Breasts, Submissions 16 Comments

First off let me say that my story is quite unusual. I’m 22 and I have never been pregnant, and I don’t plan on trying any time soon. However, I’ve always had body issues, and for some strange reason I found this site and got hooked. Many of you women are complaining about your saggy breasts and stretch marks AFTER having children, but I have never been pregnant and I have saggy breast and stretch marks already! I have never, ever been overweight (and I’m about 5’8” and I’ve been about 150 lbs for the last 10 years.) Although it is very, very hard, I’m actually learning to love my breasts and I want to encourage you mothers to be happy that you ever had perky breasts (unlike me ;-) and that your breasts can still be beautiful even if they’re saggy. I’ll probably post on here one day when I actually do have children, and hopefully I will be able to cope with my then, even saggier breasts.

– I know the quality of the pictures is not the best, but you get the point.
– In case your wondering, I’m African American, one breast is larger than the other, and my breasts are very light in color compared to my body (I have no idea why that is).

Trying to Deal With This New Body (Nicole)

Bonnie (SOAM) African American, Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 10 Comments

I have known my childs father for as long as i can remember it seems. Ive never been a person that loved kids. I was the one in the family people knew not to call me because of how i was with children. I was 20 when i found out i was pregnant so i was not excatly happy when i found out. So after dealing with any easy pregnancy and a terrible labor i was left with zero self esteem. I had a belly percing that turned of to look horrible as i grew in the pregnancy plus the stretch marks.My bf tells me everyday how much he loves my body but i just dont see it. I try not to look at other peoples bodies but you really cant avoid it especially at the beach. I hope that as time goes on that maybe i love my body and see it the way that he does

~Your Age:23
~Number of pregnancies and births:1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are:18 months

1st pic- me now and if you look carefully you can see my scar
2nd pic- me 9 months post
3rd- my lil diva

Anonymous

Bonnie (SOAM) African American, Belly, Breasts, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 12 Comments

I am 33 years old, these pictures are taken 5 years post-partum. I’ve had 2 pregnancies (first one at 13), and given birth once. My body has changed. My butt has flattned, my waist windned. Due to a number of reasons, my weight has fluctuated greatly. From 170 at pre-pregnacny, to 163 one month post partum. 204 at my highest depression (and 6 months sober), to now, 184lbs. I’m 5’5″ and have never admitted that publiclly. Other than my daughter, I’ve not allowed anyone to see me naked, for I am so ashamed. My waist is huge, my breasts saggy, my bum flat, and stretch marks. I love my daughter, and slowly loving my body, as I have to accept that *this* is it (well, that and excercise, however there will be no more bubble butt).

She Changed My Life (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) African American, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 16 Comments

28 years old/ 1 pregnancy/1 birth/12 months postpartum

First off, I would like to say that I appreciate this site and the support that it offers to mothers. I have been visiting it ever since I was about 7 months pregnant, and it has been cathartic to me and my struggle with my body. Here is my story:

I grew up thick. Being classified as an African American, thick connotates having a little extra meat to love on your body. My parents, family, and friends never criticized my looks and I always felt like I was accepted. After leaving for college, I developed some poor eating habits( eating fast food everyday) and I topped out weighing about 185lb and being a size 12. Im 5’8 so it didnt look bad, but I wasn’t healthy. One day in 2006, I looked at my body in the mirror, and I hated the reflection. So I did something about it. I joined a fitness center, and with the help of a personal trainer, I dropped 40lb and got down to a size 4. My confidence and self esteem went through the roof! And I was beating the men off needless to say….I met my husband during this physical journey also. After having quite a few ups and downs over the next two years, we decided to consciously get pregnant.

After making this decision to bring life into this world, I was pregnant two weeks later! We were happy and excited to have a combination of ourselves coming into our lives. I had bad morning sickness until I was five months pregnant, and lost a few lbs, but after the sixth month, I was hungry again!!! I got to about 34 weeks with no stretch marks, until one morning I noticed one creeping up the bottom of my belly. It was a wrap after that. Everyday it seemed I developed a new mark. I had a really hard time accepting this. I had hoped to be one of the “lucky” ones, and not have any, and I slathered on raw shea butter and oil daily. Needless to say, as She grew, I was covered in stretch marks. And I gained a hearty 36lbs. From side to side, past my belly button, which looked weird and popped out. I went past my due date, which was June 7th.

Early in my pregnancy, I had planned to have a natural birth. I exercised throughout my pregnancy, ate heartily and prepared myself mentally with childbirth classes and lots of reading. The OB decided to break my water on June 9th. I chose a hospital that had nurses familiar with the natural birthing process, and they allowed me lots of movement during my labor. I even got to get in the shower while I was transitioning, which kept me from losing my mind! My daughter was born on June 10th, unmedicated, and when her head popped out I didn’t feel anything but joy! (Seriously) She opened her eyes and looked around the room before her body was out. It was the best experience of my life, and I will never forget that day.

I had a minor tear that took three stitches, and I was ok with that. But back to my body. My tummy was black and wrinkly at first. I used belly bandits to shrink it and I nursed my daughter until she was 6 months old. I did have tummy skin that I was unfamiliar with. How am I going to fix this? So about 2 weeks after I began walking, and as the months went on I gradually increased my activity. I had a lot of support from my husband to work out, despite whatever issues we had. I was a full time student, and I managed to stay in school, work out, and take care of my daughter. I had help from family and friends, and I’m very thankful for that. I know some women aren’t as blessed. I lost all my weight plus some by the time she was 9 months, but still was paranoid about my marks and extra skin. My husband and I had a lot of problems and this made me feel worse.

I started P90x about 2 months ago, and it really helped tone up my midsection and whole body. I still have the marks and skin, but you can hardly see it. It still moves and flaps a bit when I sit down. I have thought about tummy tucks, but I actually am fitter now and look better in clothes now than before I had her. The jury is still out about the tummy tucks…I don’t have the money, and the down time could drive me crazy. I’m a fitness junkie now.

Thank you for reading this long post, I have been waiting over a year to submit it. I am including some pictures of my stomach and breasts, as well as a picture of my love, Aashima. I feel like more of woman now, I have so much motivation to be successful, and I owe it to her.

The pictures are all 12 months postpartum. And the photo of Aashima is at 8 months.