Original entry here.
Just wanted to add these pics which better show the saggies and stretchmarks. All the pics except the pregnancy one were taken at about 6 months pp from my second child, the two most recent taken when I was lying down. I feel like I have offended people and I want people to see that I am not some airbrushed supermom who bounced right back, nor am I delusional and imagining the marks I am trying to learn to love.The whole intention of my post was lost I think, and for that I am sorry :(
15 thoughts on “Two More Photos and an Apology (Anonymous)”
I don’t think you have to feel bad for the previous post, or issue an apology. The feelings each of us experience with our own bodies is an individual one, not everyone will understand or “see” at any given time one anothers insecurities and feelings. I think you’re beautiful and thanks for sharing your story.
I don’t think you owe anyone an apology. Just because they don’t view you the way you do, doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to feel the way you feel. It really bothers me when women are snarky to each other, saying some of the things that were said on your other submission. Did you manage to get by with far less damage than many mothers? Sure. But that doesn’t mean your body didn’t change, and you’re allowed to be upset about that if it bothers you! However, know that no one else pays as close of attention to the little flaws as you, and it’s highly likely that you’re the only one who notices them. ;)
I think what it is, is we are all our own worst critic. I think you look amazing. I can see where your belly button has lost its shape a little from pregnancy, but that’s really all I see. When I look in the mirror, I see 2 c section scars, stretch marks ALL over the place, a bunch of left over fat, and a TON of extra skin. Literally, I have a flap of skin that hangs over itself. You look 10,000 times better than I do. I’m sure though, when you look in the mirror, you see something different than we do. Just like when people compliment me, I see something totally different. I feel like a monster. I’m down to 119 after having 3 kids, which isn’t bad at all.. But I don’t look at it that way. I look at it like “I want to look good period, not for having 3 kids” So I understand. I think if people are getting offended by your posts, they should step back and remember we all see ourselves differently than others (or most of us do) We can’t find acceptance in others words, we have to find it in ourselves. I can hear compliments all the time, and it doesn’t help me. Me choosing to feel good about myself, is what helps me.
I am so sorry that you felt a need to explain yourself and apologize for your previous post. Thank you for sharing your photos and thoughts.
You shouldn’t have to apologize for how you feel, or how you see yourself.
I know the intent is to be supportive, but many of the comments on this site trouble me. I don’t think it’s helpful to admonish someone to love their body if they don’t. Nor is telling someone who’s struggling with body image that they’re crazy for feeling how they feel, or lucky to look the way they look.
Even saying “If you think you look bad, you should see me” can give the impression that there’s some kind of bar you have to reach in order to validate your right to post here. That goes entirely against the grain of this site’s purpose, IMO.
I realize this comment has the potential to generate a lot of I-never-meant-that and you’re-reading-too-much-into-this. But I think this is a place where we do have to be very thoughtful, and read a lot into our comments before submitting them. Many people who post here are exposing their emotional insecurity and physical vulnerability both literally and physically. Because of that, we need to consider more than the *intent* of our comments and be more sensitive to how others may interpret them.
still think you look great!! :)
I understand exactly what you mean, my belly does the same thing when I lay on my side, and my belly button has that little skin tag on top just like yours, it’s where my belly button piercing got stretched out. The bottom of my belly looks smooth when i stand up, but when I am laying on my side it also puckers a bit, the stretch marks are almost invisible, but the skin in that area still ‘gives’. I know where you are coming from, it is frustrating. You don’t owe anyone an apology, this is where we have have the right to voice our concerns about our changing bodies. Your journey is your own, and you seem to be coming to terms quite nicely! Keep your chin up, it actually gets a little better with even more time; the skin will shrink back even more after a year, 18 months, etc. I’m 20 months pp, and my skin is STILL changing!
you have NO need to apologize! this is not a site for mourning the loss of our prepregnancy bodies, but a site to illustrate how pregnancy changes us all! Sometimes for better, sometimes for worse. It’s a site to be proud of our bodies, to voice our skepticism and insecurities, and to share real-life with everyone!
Your waist looks sooooo small in your pics, it’s a great hourglass thing you got goin’ on :) And thank you for posting *all* of your photos, the previous ones as well as these. Not everyone keeps on 50+ extra pounds after pregnancy– not everyone comes out lighter than before– very few are able to look exactly the same after birth. But this site is meant to illustrate ALL possible outcomes on our bodies. So bravo!
You look perfectly fine you have a beautiful body.
Don’t be sorry. You do look great to outside eyes, but that doesn’t mean your body hasn’t changed dramatically to your own eyes.
It’s tough because some women look “worse” than others after pregnancy and some of those who look “worse” envy those who look better and think they have no right to complain. ANYONE who has had a baby has had some change to their body and has the right to feel however they feel about it.
Don’t apologize. You feel how you feel and should never feel sorry about it.
Thanks so much for reposting, especially because it’s generated such an interesting dialogue. I admit, when I saw your first post my initial reaction was a touch of anger. I thought, how ridiculous to be upset over such trivial changes. But, in retrospect, I see that I was completely in the wrong. Everybody is entitled to their feelings and those feelings are completely valid. In fact, it’s sort of ridiculous that I wasn’t more sympathetic to your plight as I had an eating disorder all through high school and obsessed over every little ounce of fat. So, I apologize for my first comment and for the harassment that you received. This is meant to be a supportive community and I really feel that we failed you. Hopefully your second post will be a better experience. I also just want to add that I still think you look beautiful and hot and all that good. stuff. Take care!
You still look great
You have nothing to apologize for!!!! There is no bar that is set for what a post pregnancy body is suppose to look like, and who is qualified to judge who has or doesn’t have one. Some women come out of pregnancy with a little more stretch marks and saggy skin, and some don’t, but it’s not up to anyone other than the mother to know her own body, and be sad/happy over the changes that have taken place. I lucked out getting back my flat stomach, and people tell me how lucky I am, but little do they know that under my clothes I have stretch marks on my breasts, hips and thighs…no one really can judge another mother, or to criticize them for feeling bad about themselves even if we don’t see anything to criticize. You look amazing, as well as another mom who might have had 5 kids and a stomach hanging down to her knees. It’s part of the price of giving life :)
hi you loook great first off! You dont need to apologize we all have issues with our bodies and I sure had them even before my kids. We all wish we had a different body we all want to feel sexy and confident. but girl you do look great. There are many others who would be thankful for your stomach. Just be content where you are because you look awesome!! its hard to accept yourself and i struggle with this too but you do look great. Your a mom and ask a woman whose lost a child and these things dont even matter. Its the children we gave birth to that matter most..
You look absolutely wonderful period. Many women would kill for a body and stomach as beautiful as yours whether or not they’ve ever given birth. Don’t apologize for sharing. Please take me words as the compliment it was meant to be. I am comfortable with myself as is with two children. It’s imperfect and I am human. I know that I’ve done pretty well though. It could look a lot better. It could also look much worse, but it’s mine!