Teen mom with body troubles (Anonymous)

My mother raised me to be body conscious. I was her only daughter out of five children. She was always on my case about my image. During my pre-teen years I was the “super skinny” girl, the envy of my friends, but it was never good enough for me or my mother. Weekly, we would both stand infront of a full length mirror and ‘bash’ our bodies. It was like some sort of weird bond. At about 14, I became bulimic. I cheered on two cheerleading squads and ran track for my middle school. My body couldn’t handle it. I wasn’t getting the nutrients I needed and I would constantly black out and faint. It became a weekly thing. Finally, my mother admitted to herself I had a problem, and I received professional help. After months of treatment at a private facility, I was over it. My mother got treatment too, and it seemed like my body issues were over. At 15 years old, I was in the best shape of my life. Muscular, curvy, and healthy. I loved my body. I met my now husband on vacation when I was 15 and we continued dating, he only lived an hour away. When I was 16, I became pregnant. I was shocked. (( I was stupid, never used protection. )) Although I knew I had everything to lose, I WOULD NOT have an abortion. I was the captain of my cheerleading squad, class president, and pregnant. I didn’t tell anyone for a month. Finally, I told my then boyfriend and our families. I started seeing a doctor. I never told my school, and I continued normally until I became 5 months because I wasn’t showing… at Christmas break I moved to my then boyfriends and home schooled there. I’m so ashamed now to have been embarrassed of my child, but I didn’t know how to handle it… and as it turned out, everyone was more than understanding. Well, as I started to gain weight, my old body loathing self began to haunt me. I feel into deep depression, sleeping way too much, constantly crying… and then one day I just ‘snapped’ out of it. I realized I was being entirely selfish… here I was, blessed with a healthy baby, a loving boyfriend, and a supportive family. My mind set changed and I began to love my baby bump. I got huge!! It seemed like the larger I got, the happier I was… it was so weird, I loved being fat! WELL, I had my baby boy.. and now I’m not so loving it, I work out six times a week, 1-2 hours a day, and I haven’t lost that ‘ pudge ‘. I’m learning, however, to accept it.. and hopefully, as the time goes by… I’ll learn to love it. I’m now married to my sons father, going to school full time, working part time co-coaching pee wee cheerleading and raising my 8 month old! I have A TON of help from my family, and could not make it without them. My mother has made a total 180. =]