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My Journey Into Motherhood (Anonymous)

I’ve struggled with food for a few years now. My struggle was mostly a secret and began two and a half years ago when I decided I wanted to lose weight for my wedding. I wasn’t overweight, but I wanted to look good. Long story short, I became obsessed, gained the weight back and then some, and then when my husband deployed September 2008, I decided to get in shape the right way. I lifted heavy, ate right, and got in the best shape of my life. I got pregnant a day or two after my husband got back, LITERALLY, so, for the love and health of my baby, I realized I needed to stop my OCD need to count every single calorie and gram of protein going into my body and just eat for health. By my 19th week of pregnancy, my doctor told me I had only gained 6 pounds. He seemed concerned, and I really took that to heart. By my next check-up, I had gained another 10 pounds. 10 pounds…..in one month! By that point, I was about 24 weeks pregnant and just started eating EVERYTHING. I only gained 40 pounds, but boy did I feel like I’d gained 100. My husband always thought I was beautiful throughout my whole pregnancy, but I felt like an elephant and I had a hard time adjusting to my changing body and to the life growing inside of me. The birth process was probably the most difficult thing I’ve ever gone through. I had read all these stories and had all these expectations……….but that really doesn’t prepare you for the real thing. My labor was about 14 hours and I pushed for an hour and 15 minutes. I had no drugs or an epidural. My husband was so encouraging and that really helped me push through the pain. My son was born October 15 of 2009 weighing 8 lbs 9 ozs. I remember as the nurses were checking on my son and the doctor was stitching me up, I felt my belly and how squishy and “fake” it felt. It didn’t feel like it belonged to me. I didn’t suffer from PPD, but I had a diffucult time realizing how much my body had changed. I was chubby and had stretch marks. I had gained a few going through puberty and had always been self-conscious of them, but I really wanted to be strong for my son. I started doing P90X about 6 weeks postpartum to lose my babyweight. I am now 5.5 months postpartum and my son is the light of my life. I love him so much it hurts and I’m amazed at the personality he’s developed already. He’s going to be such a beautiful and intelligent person. I still struggle with my body and how it looks now, but I’m so thankful for my happy, healthy baby. I miss my belly and my husband and I can’t wait to have another.

This is my first pregnancy and first live birth.

Age: 24

The pictures sent are me 6 weeks PP, 10 weeks PP, and me today (5.5 months PP).

in Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions
12 comments… add one
  • marie Friday, April 16, 2010, 9:35 am

    you look fabulous… strong and healthy…and your belly looks greaat, especially for being only 5.5 mos postpartum. Congrats to you for going through a 15 hr labor without drugs as well :)

  • kimber Friday, April 16, 2010, 10:14 am

    your skin tone is perfection! my stomach has gone down and the weight is lost but my skin is ruined, like literally. fun fun.

  • Heather Friday, April 16, 2010, 10:42 am

    Your story is so similar to mine, I could almost copy and paste it! I am 3 weeks pp, and despite the fact that I would do it all over for my precious baby girl, I am having a hard time coming to terms with my chubbiness. (I can’t even pull my old pants over my thighs!) I was a gym rat before my pregnancy, and have been looking for a good program to start at 6 weeks. After seeing your pictures, I think p90x may be the way to go. Thank you for your story!

  • renee Friday, April 16, 2010, 11:52 am

    Oh my gosh, I was expecting something far worse!!!! Your body is amazing. It makes me sad that u think that you’re hideous, u look fab! If u had my tummy (4.5 months postpartum n still grose), then u’d be upset! U av nothing whatsoever to worry about! No wonder ur hubby thinks you’re beautiful – u r, so start believing u r!

  • lindsey Friday, April 16, 2010, 12:15 pm

    Your stretch marks dont even look bad. I couldnt even see them until I looked at the picture of your stomache. And even so, they look good. You have nothing to worry about, I bet many mothers would kill to have your body. I have stretch marks every where except my face. So be thankful for how lucky you are. And good for you to commiting to a diet and p90x(I was always cuious if p90x worked). I tried dieting and I cant seem to keep on it. Congratulations! You look great, and I bet your husband will be all over you when he gets back..

  • tanya Friday, April 16, 2010, 6:18 pm

    You do know that you have a rockin body now dont you???? Its beautiful :)

  • tanya Friday, April 16, 2010, 6:19 pm

    ps.. how do you get thighs like that theyre very shapely and i want them!! haha :)

  • Sarah Friday, April 16, 2010, 7:40 pm

    You look fantastic, mama! :)

  • mrs. petunia Friday, April 16, 2010, 8:07 pm

    Boy, it’s AMAZING what time and hard work can do! Wishing you well with your next pregnancy!

  • Mariah Tuesday, April 20, 2010, 4:59 am

    I wanted to give you some MAJOR kudos for doing natural labor. I did mine naturally, and people to this day (15 mos PP) are like “Why on earth would you ever do that to yourself?!”

    You look amazing! I’ve been contemplating p90x for a few weeks now, and the more results I see, the more I am convinced to do it! :)

  • J.D. Thursday, April 22, 2010, 3:14 am

    my son was born on october 15 2009, too! you look very, very good. i am happy with my looks now even though i still need to lose 6-7 pounds.

  • Jenna Thursday, May 6, 2010, 4:18 pm

    You look so amazing!

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