My Canvas (Anonymous)

My canvas started out white, smooth and pure. It was flat, and not a mark lay upon it. I never really thought my stomach was anything special. Just a little chubby, but it was mine. Then I longed for a child. When my body started to change after I found out I was pregnant I was in awe. I was growing life inside of me. WOW. This little person that me and my husband made out of love was moving and kicking inside of me. A real live person. I went through months of agony. Sick to my stomach, pain everywhere, bloating, kidney stones and lastly stretch marks. I went through a lot to have my daughter. My body went through hell for her. I really was a warrior inside of myself. She was beautiful and perfect all 5 pounds 8 ounces of her. My miracle girl. I love her more than I thought I could love anyone. It still shocks me sometimes how much I love this little person. Now my canvas has been drawn on. It has lines up and down. Across and diagnal. All around the circle of my belly button. Some run deep while others are thin and long. My daughter drew all over me. I was ashamed of these lines that were drawn into my skin. I felt ugly and unworthy. Why after all I went through did I have to have these marks? Then it came to me. This was my picture my daughter had drawn for me. Like the memory of labor they will fade but will never truly disappear. Now I wear these marks proudly. I now see what she had drawn. I see my daughters life with me. I see her smiling. I see her laughing. I see her crawling and her first steps. I see sticky oatmeal kisses and dandilions for mothers day. Her first birthday and blowing out the candles. I see her walking onto the school bus while I hold back tears. I see her first kiss…first heartbreak..first love. I see her helping out another person. I see her graduate, get married and one day own a canvas like mine. I see me there for her through all of this. Ready to hold out my hand if she needs it and ready to let go and let her experience life on her own. When I look at my canvas she has drawn for me I am not ashamed anymore. I look at it with pride just like a mother would with any picture their child has drawn. I never want her to be ashamed of her canvas. I want her to know she is beautiful. Real women are beautiful. Some carry a little picture, some carry a whole art piece like mine. But nevertheless we are beautiful. I am showing my canvas on here to let you all know that your canvas is beautiful too. Be proud. Look past the squiggly lines to the true picture. Our love for our children.

14 thoughts on “My Canvas (Anonymous)

  • Tuesday, October 2, 2007 at 8:52 am

    What an incredible way to describe stretch marks! You have brought tears to my eyes and I can now see the “art” that my son has drawn for me (that extends far beyond my belly down to my thighs) in a whole new light. I am actually sad that the one stretch mark my little girl gave me has already disappeared. Your words are an inspiration to all mothers out there. Thank you.

  • Tuesday, October 2, 2007 at 11:03 am

    Thank you so much for writing that. This is the first post here on TSOM that made me cry. It’s so beautiful!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

  • Tuesday, October 2, 2007 at 11:27 am

    What a beautiful and wise description. I am a labor and delivery nurse hoping to have children of own soon. Bless you for your amazing words.

  • Tuesday, October 2, 2007 at 3:44 pm

    Thank you! That has inspired me to look at my daughters newly created artwork in a whole new way – with pride and wonder.
    Congratulations on a true masterpiece to carry with you for the rest of your life.

  • Wednesday, October 3, 2007 at 4:01 am

    What a nice post. You have a wonderful talent for writing.Thank you so much. After reading this I really do look at my belly in a different way. Thank-you thank-you, thank-you for writing this. Please share again in a few months! your baby is so adorable!

  • Wednesday, October 3, 2007 at 6:27 am

    You have given us a gift with your words. What a beautiful expression of motherhood.

  • Wednesday, October 3, 2007 at 8:29 am

    What a beautiful, moving description… you made me cry too! :) Thank you!

  • Thursday, October 4, 2007 at 4:25 am

    Thank you, thank-you, thank-you! You are so right. My wibbly, wobby, zebra tummy is the first and most beautiful picture my twins boys have drawn for me. I love this website – every time I get down about my post baby body I come here to see the pictures, read the inspiring stories and remind myself that my body is normal and a wonderful reminder of the amazing miracle that is my boys.

  • Thursday, October 4, 2007 at 9:18 am

    Your post had me choked up, this is absolutely beautiful.

  • Thursday, October 4, 2007 at 5:08 pm

    That was awesome and so beautifully written. Thank you !

  • Saturday, October 6, 2007 at 2:54 am

    That brought tears to my eyes – very beautifully written, thank you.

  • Saturday, October 6, 2007 at 8:45 am

    My “baby art” took the shape of stretched moles and freckles. They still look unusual, and it’s okay with me.

  • Saturday, October 6, 2007 at 12:19 pm

    That was wonderful, and brought tears to my eyes. I am going to save this so I can read it and remember this when I feel down. Thank you!

  • Thursday, January 10, 2008 at 12:28 pm

    Thank you so much for writing this. It helped me more thn you could ever imagine!!!!

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